0:00 She didn't even want to smoke. She just wanted to show me that she had it. Right. Wow. >> Cuz it's crazy to have it. >> And the thing is though, like this is how not smooth I was, right? Cuz I remember I never ████ really >> You just pulled on her. >> No. No. That's funny. [laughter] >> Funny as ████ That's funny. >> Don't even go there, you know. >> All right. Welcome back to a very spicy episode of the Care for Boys. We're going to keep it real here. Very vulnerable. And the question is, which ethnicity are the most attractive Asians to you when you were in elementary school? >> Oh my god. Why'd you laugh, dude? >> Why did you laugh? >> It's funny. It's funny. I was He said something funny. [laughter] >> Say this topic again. >> Okay. >> Exactly. >> When you're in elementary school, >> he's trying to say which Asians have the hottest kids. That's what he's trying to say. And he's like under fifth grade.
0:51 >> Just making sure. >> Yeah. So kids are hot, right? No, that's too No, >> I could tell you this. >> Okay, >> so when I was in kindergarten, >> Srios Elementary, the first time I ever ████ bit my knuckles at someone was Gina Hang. Shout out to Gina. She's Korean. >> I don't even know what kind of feelings I was feeling. >> I know a Gina Hang. >> But I remember she was on the ████ bicycle thing. You know how they have a loop and you just go in a circle? to draw the track so you don't just go off the ████ playground. I remember she was ████ going in that circle and I was like, "God ████ damn." >> Bart was in the middle of the circle [laughter] >> ████ sprinkler Bart. I didn't have ribs like that. I didn't have ribs like
1:41 that. I was probably off to the side with my best friend was Indian >> going like this. >> I was eating his dental floss cuz he would bring dental floss to school like the mint flavored one and he would pull it out and then we would just suck on him >> for the taste. Yeah. [laughter] So, we're just sucking on dental floss. >> That's some riz, bro. >> And looking at Gina, it was they were the um like Mean Girls. You know how there was those three girls? >> It was Gina Wang, >> Leslie Hagashi. >> Holy ████ >> And the third one was ████ busted. So, I don't remember her name, but the other two were the fine ass chicks. Shout outs to Leslie Hagashi. And I was like, that was >> He was seven. [laughter] >> No, they're like five, I think, cuz I was five. But I [laughter] but I was like, damn, >> he remembers their name. Jesus, >> I didn't realize I didn't realize how fine
2:31 >> someone could be. >> I do remember my first crush, Amy Hilton. Shout out Amy Hilton. You were seven. >> That's a Hton, dude. >> And she was white. Big time white. >> Oh, okay. >> And uh you know, like when they when you know when girls have that hair that goes down like that, >> the bob haircut >> like the No, like it's not bangs cuz I don't like >> it contours to the face. >> Goes like Yeah, like that. It goes down like bounces >> and it stops here. Oh, Bob. Okay. Yeah, Bob. >> It was I just was like every time I saw her, I had a crush on her for like literally four years. So, it's like Oh, wait. Yeah. So, it's like kindergarten to like fourth grade. >> Yeah. >> So, >> like what Bane Armstrong has, right? >> Yeah. Is Dora the Explorer that hair? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Actually, honestly, >> the Dora the Dora style, >> honestly. Yeah. >> Did you talk to her though? >> So, not really. Like I would talk to her like in passing real quick >> because you know how like when you're in kindergarten and you're in a class and
3:21 then there's another there's an A and B. >> Oh yeah yeah. >> She was in the B. Like I met her when I was in the A and then when we went to first grade she was in the B and I was like no. >> Oh I hated that type of thing. >> And then like but I would see her in the hallway cuz all the A and B would like go to PE together and I would just like it was like a Jim Carrey movie where like I would see her and I just like against the wall like [laughter] >> like it was like intense feelings, man. >> That's how I felt. And then anytime another dude who I could tell had a crush on her would get close, I would try to get close and then we would just end up getting closer and closer and closer and then I could tell that she was like, "What the ████ This is getting weird." And I'm like, "F███, I'm going to ruin it." So, I would leave. >> Dude, the coolest thing happened to me in third grade. Carly Hicks, shout out. You were probably 7 years old. She told me that Amy had a crush on me. >> What? >> And I was like, "No way. I had the biggest crush on Amy." because we were working on this school project where we had to like make long houses like Indian
4:12 long houses or some ████ and I was at her house and then Amy happened to live in the neighborhood and so was like let's go over there and I was like are you kidding me and like we went to Amy's house and like I was just like shivering dude >> you guys make long houses together >> we no she like she like became my girlfriend for and it lasted for like 9 days or something. >> You made it sick. Do you guys hold hands? >> No. Hell no. I I didn't even barely talk to her. >> It happened on the ninth day. That would blow my brain. So, the coolest thing was she gave me a picture on one side. She knew I liked her and she liked me. She gave me a little picture of her, one of those little school pictures. And then she wrote like on the back like, "Hey, this is for you, Steve." Or something like that. And I and I remember my aunt Cameron got me this this blue trunk and I had a lock on it so I could cuz I lived in the same um room as my brothers. We had bunk beds with a trundle bed underneath it. So, I couldn't have any privacy at all. But I I I only the only thing I had in this blue trunk I had just gotten for my
5:02 birthday was this little picture of Amy Hilton. And I used to I used to open I used to wait till my brothers were gone and then open the trunk and then look at the picture and I would get those feelings, you know? [laughter] >> Yeah. >> ████ yeah. >> And I would just stare at it and I would just be like, "Wow, she's my girlfriend." You ever >> like look back to see what she looks like now? >> Or like >> I think I messaged her when Facebook came out. I remember messaging her and be like, "What up?" [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Cuz like you just have a I had a trippy time like seeing all my old friends and how they grew up and stuff. So I talked to her. talked to Carly a little bit, but it was all like it was all innocent and not like what's up Amy? What are you doing? Like nothing like >> but like what happened after the 9-day relationship? >> Okay. So then, dude, cuz back back then we just got to the like oh here I'll give you my phone number or all that kind of stuff. So then I guess she fell for my buddy Joel like after she already
5:53 had me. I think she the chase was over. >> So then she calls me and I was so excited that she called me and she's like, "Hey, it's Amy." I'm like, "What's up, dude? This is sick." like, "Wow, great to hear your voice." And then she's like, "Yeah, I just want to let you know that I'm with Joel now." And I was like, "Oh, oh, dude." >> It was my first heartbreak. But like we never even like touched each other, you know, when you're [laughter] at >> that age like >> it's just you want to be my girlfriend. >> Yeah. >> And then you're you're in each other's orbit like that like like a like a son. >> But that that's enough. That's enough, >> right? No, it was I was on cloud nine for nine days. >> You just tell everyone I have a girlfriend. Really? What do you guys do? Sometimes we talk on the phone. >> She gave me her picture >> and like there was a plan like we'd go to the movies. So like have your mom drop you off at the movies the same time I had my mom would drop me off at the movies so we could go to the movies. We
6:43 never did it but we wanted to see like Little Rascals together and ████ like that. >> Little rascals. >> Yeah, >> that's a very romantic movie. >> Hey Stephen, I'm with Joel now. >> Dude, it was rough. >> Yeah, dude. >> And then after that I just wanted to destroy Joel's life. He became my enemy from then on. >> ████ b█████████. >> Yeah. And then you stopped liking white girls after that. >> Nah, it took a while. >> Yeah, it took a while. >> Did you even have options though in the school you went that there were different like >> Oh, yeah. I was in Fairfax, Virginia. There was every single race in my community. Yeah. >> I had a three-hour fling like that. >> Three. >> So, in my class, this is another school in Critos after I got kicked out of elementary. There's this chick named Rachel Gurling and she was like >> the finest of the fine like that. You know, you know how in the class there's
7:33 >> six years old the ████ untouchables. >> Yeah. >> And then she was the finest of the fin. I could have swore she was ████ like Pam and Pamela Anderson. >> Panam Anderson [laughter] >> in a eight-year-old body. >> Oh my. >> What? And I I just thought she was untouchable. And you know how like the class kind of forms the couple sometimes? >> Yes. >> So there's this other dude. I swear to God, this guy was ████ 12, but pretended he's eight. His name is Matthew Reed. And this was dunking on the ████ elementary basketball court. He was doing ████ 20 pull-ups and ████ So he was like the jock and she was like this fine ass cheerleader. Right. One day uh after after school, we were in daycare together in the sand pit and we're digging and it's just me and her. So, we started talking and it felt
8:23 like we're connecting and then we're digging these tunnels and we would dig tunnels like this until our fingers would touch. >> A little lady in the ████ huh? >> Every time our fingers touch, I'd feel like, oh, [laughter] and we dug tunnels all over the place, right? >> Damn. >> And I saw my grandpa come to pick me up. Get the ████ off. I want to spend more time at the sandbox. And I felt like we had a crazy moment and I'm oh ████ Rachel's going to be mine. And then the next day it'd be like like this and it's like and I'm like what the ████ I thought we had a ████ moment touching fingers in the sand and now you're going to ████ ignore me. Got my heart broken. >> Maybe she was like, "Who's this Chinese guy? I thought it was another Chinese guy I was hanging out with." [laughter] >> Shout out to Rachel. I think it's the >> I think for for our chicks back then it
9:13 was the chase, dude. Once the chase was over, they're on to the next chase. >> You should have walked in that next morning instead of >> You should have like saw her and walked away. >> Sat down. >> You're You're smooth though. We weren't smooth. >> Everybody had the heart broken to get smooth though. Come on, man. >> Not you. Not you, dude. >> I never got smooth. >> Still not smooth. What the ████ >> dude? There was there was other white chick in like my sixth grade and I remember it was like uh there was like a pool party day like you would go across the the ████ uh across the street to the community pool, right? But before that like everybody had to like go to their their like desk locker cubby thing in order to go like grab whatever and like get ready to go. And then I remember one of these girls in in the classroom, this white chick always had a ████ ponytail up. It's probably where I got my fetish, right? She was her name's Angela. [snorts] She was like, "Oh, I I forgot something. I I need to go back and grab it." And then I was
10:03 like, "Oh, I forgot something, too. I need to go back." And then we went back and it was just me and her in the room, right? And the door closed. And I remember being like, "Oh my god, I'm in the room by ourselves with her, right?" >> And then she goes, she's like, I swear she never talked to me like a day in her life. She's like, "Hey, do you want to see something?" And I was like, "Yeah." And she like opens up her little like zipper ████ Hello Kitty backpack or whatever, right? And she pulls out a cigarette. >> What the ████ >> She's like, "Look what I have." >> She's a bad girl. >> Yeah, but it was like her older sister. I thought she was going to show show you her bush [laughter] >> of all things. I would have thought boobs before >> cuz I thought she sprouted some. >> I mean, that's crazy. >> At that age. >> Sure. >> People are growing different things. >> She wasn't quite a Pam Anderson and 8-year-old body at the time. [laughter] >> So, she was an 8-year-old girl with a cigarette in the Hello Kitties. >> No, we were in sixth grade. So, what does that make 11ish? Right.
10:54 >> She had like she had like her older sister's like cigarette or something. >> Was she like want to smoke it? >> Well, no. She didn't even want to smoke. She just wanted to show me that she had it, right? >> Wow. >> Cuz it's crazy to have it. >> And the thing is though, like this is how not smooth I was, right? Cuz I remember I never ████ really >> You just told on her, right? >> No. No. That's funny. [laughter] >> Funny as ████ That's funny. >> Don't even go there. You know, and then I look at it. I was like, "Oh my god, where'd you get that?" She's like, "It's my older sisters, right?" And then she was like I was like, "Are you going to smoke it?" She's like, "No, no, I don't want to smoke it." And I was like, "What are you going to do with it?" And she was like, "I don't know." And I was like, "Well, you might get in trouble. You should probably get rid of it." Right. And she's like, "Oh, maybe. Huh?" And then she just took it. And then she just dropped it behind like the bookshelf. Oh. And then we just thought it was like the most like like, "Okay, cool. We got to hurry [laughter] and get to the pool party." And then I had no
11:45 play with her after that. I just thought for the rest of the day, I was just thinking about that moment with her and ████ probably didn't even jump in the water. Just froze it. >> She'd be like, "If you give me a kiss, I won't tell anybody you have this." I wish I would have thought about that, but I didn't have the smoothness like you and the sand. The sand digging. >> Damn. You should have told on her, dude. >> Three-hour fling. >> What happened to her? Did she end up fine still in life? >> I have no idea. I don't even remember her last name. >> She probably got lung cancer now [laughter] from smoking all those cigarettes. >> That's true. [laughter] >> She became this lady. Don't ever ████ suck. [laughter] That lady was doing that when we were kids. >> Yeah, she was. [laughter]
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