0:00 He calls me a robot. Robart. He said robot. Robart. He's jobot then. No. No. It's different. No. No. Not really the same. You're like a monkey who can experience the full range of human emotions. [Music] What if way down the line of your marriage, like years and years in, you find out your wife cheated on you when you were dating year one? Year one. I'm a ████ bro. Triple homicide, murder, suicide. I'm a slutter bro. She knows this. When you say dating, is it like cuz you know like sometimes you kind of start talking to somebody and then you choose to make it exclusive, right? Right. Like shortly after the exclusive. Oh, so you said exclusive. But you weren't married. It was just like boyfriend girlfriend. But
0:50 what if I never made it exclusive? Yeah. I just told Hannah like we're together now. And then I just told her we're getting married. I never actually asked. That's why you're real alpha male. Yeah. Hell yeah. And you order for her, too. Yeah. She'll have the steak. Well done. No, she'll have the salad cuz she We're going to need some A1 for that, too. It's going to be a tough and ketchup. Your finest ketchup you got in the back. Sick. Don't give me that hinds. Give me the stuff in the back. What would happen? So, we're talking about like the good ketchup. We're like 20 years in or how many years in the marriage? I think if it's like that, 20 years in, I wouldn't give a 20 years. I'll be really curious about the story. I'll be like, "What the dude? There's 20 years." Like, but if it's like the second year, I think people would divorce. This is what I'll do. I'll cry in the back room for like 20 minutes, then I'll come back out and I'll be like, "Tell me everything."
1:41 Eyes all red. I'm not bothered by it at all. Tell me everything. Sniffling. It's like you got together year one and then you find out the second year that like like you're dating them. Yeah. then that's it's a fresh relationship, right? So you're like peace. But if it's like several years in and then you're just like I I don't know like they never ████ after that. I don't care. You know what I I think I would honestly do I have to like really try and think about this. I think I would have to be like I'll be like number one you're going to explain. No, you're not going to explain. You're going to first take me to a steakhouse. I'm going to order like you know a tomahawk steak. Why you want to eat steak while you crying? No, I'm not crying. That's thing cuz I want to just be like treated the way I deserve to be treated. Have you seen the
2:32 salt blocks? You should ask her. Go take a bizarre meets. Oh, is that really bomb? Yeah, salt blocks. Like really expensive though. It is. But she's treating you. That's right. That's right. She cheated on you. So you He's like, I don't want her to pay that much money. Don't you guys have a shared break account? Yeah, it's communal money. She's treating you with communal money. You got to buy us on a credit card. Stick this on my own ass. So, you're having the salt block and the steak. Some have that. And then I'm not going to My my logical self is going to remind myself. You don't want to know who it is because if you go put a face to it, it's way worse. That is worse. It's way worse. What if she's like, "No, you're going to want to know." She's like, "Trust me." And you need to sit down. Yeah. It's Nick Dun Nick done from JK. Before that happens, I'm going to be like, "Can I get two oldfashions?" And then I need to let the I need to allow the emotions to be emotions because otherwise I'm gonna get too logical as
3:22 ████ Smoky old fashioned. Why would why would it matter like who is it's so long time ago because then I just don't want to randomly like go to sleep later then I'm like yeah I'm cool with it and then I just see an image of it. I'm like ████ But that's that's going to come with a ter there's no way that's not going to if you don't know who it is because if it is somebody that I do know that's why you don't want to know who that's why I don't want to know. Which would you rather have? So then I would ask her I was like is it somebody I know? If she says yes, I'm not finding out. I'm like, you're gonna treat me to steak next week, too. His name rhymes with Mike Song. Oh, Mike Bong. That's what she said. I didn't say it. She said, Stephen Joseph Green. Steen Joseph. I got I got one. I do I do like the way Anthony is taking it in because he's like uh taking the information at a way that he can I honestly think he's just hungry right
4:12 now. He knows he'll digest it better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. digest. So that like it's not like information that's like boom, you know? It's like okay, this part goes here, this part goes here, and then at the end of the day, he breathes, he absorbs it, and he's like, okay, cool. So this doesn't seem like it would Yeah, you're picking your neporin, basically. Yeah, but I'm the same way. I wouldn't want to know a face. Yeah, I don't want to know the face. But what if she's like, listen, the amount of times that he went in my butt was insane. And she says it's straight face while the waiter's asking for your drink order. I need you I just need you to know that like did Steve tell you to say that I'm gonna be like did I do the butt first? Absolutely not. Okay. Absolutely. Which is better. Uh Seal or Steve Bushi? Seal the singer. Going on Seal for sure. But he
5:04 looks like he could stretch her. Oh, I didn't think of that. Well, luckily for me, it wasn't ever stretched. And I know because I'm very strong. All right. A a a guy that's like intimidating to you cuz you're like, "Oh man, he probably ████ I'm going to go I'm going to go Steel for sure." Steel versus Steve Bushi. Why? Cuz Steve Bushmi doesn't look like he looks like he come in his pants if he gets Steve looks like he he probably like wraps a towel around her neck or some ████ Yeah, that's true. That's true. Steve looks like he smells. Let me No. No. Steve Bushi. Dustin Diamond. Dustin Diamond. Dustin Diamond. He looks less threatening. Screech. So less threatening. Seal looks like he could pound. What's the question again? Who would you rather have sex with? Right. Who would you rather see by the bell of the new class? You were wrong. Oh, okay. How about this? How about
5:55 this? It wasn't just like she cheated, but they were in like a romantic thing for like a year. Oo. While we were in a romantic thing for a year. Yeah. There was like a sidecar cheating thing. Overlap. Yeah. Some overlap. So there's emotions involved. Dustin, Diamond, or Seal. And she lied to you about all of it. Y one sex, multiple love. One sex, multiple. Only one sex though. One sex, but multiple days of And she passion, which means she needed to confess this to me that like she had done it. And she said she was kissed by a rose on the grave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we have seal. We don't know what the other person ████ Um but we've been married for 20 years. Yeah. And she's like that whole first year. Oh my god. I just kept going to him. I like anal. I know I don't give you any anal, but I gave him so much anal. So much anal. But if it's really
6:46 if if for some reason if it's just like if it's sex one time, but it was like dating for a year, it's like really about like their relationship than it is about like the sex. Right. Right. For some reason in my mind like the lust becomes like not as big a thing. Not as important cuz it was just physical. Yeah. So now I'm curious about just like where she was at in life. But like imagine that there were messages about like I wish I could be with you, but Anthony like that kind of I miss you being up my up my butt. Oh, I know it was just one time, but I think about it all the time. Like imagine that there's correspondence like that of like I'm so torn and then she just eventually chose you in the middle of already being and you find out she you get she she allowed so much butt sex but she doesn't give you any butt sex because she was wearing she was wearing a diaper for this guy after.
7:36 Okay. If she's wearing a diaper and she was allowing so much butt sexing that ████ I mean they're obviously not going to stop. They're just going to think of something worse. Yeah. So, so I'm going to be like, "All right, then then just to if she feels really bad." Yeah. Yeah. She feels cuz she doesn't feel bad. She's just telling me and she's laughing. That's different. Yeah. Yeah. But she feels really bad. Her mom had to drive her home while she's laid on her stomach in the back. Oh my flatbed truck. Brian's asking the real questions and they're like, "What if they put out a cigar in the butthole?" He addresses them. Yeah. He answers that way. The butthole then. And then he's like, "What brand of cigarette?" If I don't address that, that's just like that's bad content. Um, true. Yeah, true. Well played. I'll probably have to like, you know, be like, "All right, well then we're me, you and some other chick threesome tonight."
8:28 I'm not doing it without you, but then she gets mad that like you thought she was attractive the whole time. No, I'm You can choose who it is, but like I have to approve it. What if she chooses? Like I have to approve it. Big birth. Oh yeah, I have to approve it. I already got you on that one. He was trying to get Steven BMI in there. He's like, "How do I wiggle Stephen back in there? How do I get more IMDb credits?" All right, back to your question. Before the 16, um, that's quite Okay, so let's simplify it. I think if it wasn't about lust, no lust. I mean, just one second. But it was a romantic relationship and she was torn and she chose me. No, no, no. Just take that out. That's No, no, no. Let's hear the answer to that real quick. Oh, okay. You got something for that? Well, I think she chose me. So, at the end of the day, it's like, oh, that's crazy that you went through that. And I'm curious just because like we're close enough for 20 years of marriage that I'm curious about knowing that. But what if it was just like 5149 Trump over Biden?
9:20 It was a squeaker. 40,000 votes when he came back. I got five terms in a row. What if it's not 20 years down and it's just now? You mean two years into our marriage? Yeah. And she's she's like And she's like, "I had one sex in the first year, but we but we've been dating for 10 years." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So like eight plus years. So I'm like that means this was 9 years ago. Yeah. She's like year one I had one sex. I forgive her but I'm going to be like hey like you feel bad so let's just do things where you feel like you've paid it back and you you can walk away go free. What up guys? Come join our Patreon cuz there's hundreds of videos dating back to 2019. Support the channel's growth and new ideas and tap into the closer community by joining our Discord. Come
10:10 chat with me inside and then you can say funny things to me and get the opportunity to suggest new video ideas. Come join our Patreon. Thank you. Link is in the description box below. No, that's what I'm saying. The steak still happens. Steve, something with Steve. The steak still happens. Go get some food because I think she wins, too. Um, you're a very sweet man. You're not really like a punishing type, are you? You're not going to sl her throat at all. You're not Frank. You're not a Frank Castle. You're not going to cut her one time. Okay, probably different for you guys' relationship. Maybe especially for yours. Um, because like you guys started when you were real young. Oh, dude, that would be a destroyer. Quickly cut off this and go. Someone's going to hurt the real bad. But, uh, somebody gonna get hurt. Like I was uh we we started talking for what
11:04 eight n months before we exclusively started dating. Wow. Okay. So there was a whole already 9 month per and then after we exclusively started dating in that first year we also broke up for a month because like I still wasn't sure about ████ Okay. So the bro so that moment would have been the perfect moment and it wouldn't be cheating. Yeah. So like we and then we was just we weren't on and off but I was just traveling so much all the time. So we never really like fully we were exclusive but like we just never fully were felt a certain thing for a while. So that's why I'm like it's different but No, for sure. For sure. There was you know high school sweethearts and straight into it. So like that let's No, that's a freaking that's a big one because if you bring two ████ together it's not a big deal. No. Yeah. They're loose women.
11:59 Don't call me a ████ You're just like cuz I wasn't. What's your body count? Well, Mina, no. Just kidding. Yeah. Say it right around the camera right there. What's your body count? Say it to all three cameras. Come on every side. A little tour. All right. So, Steve Bushi or All right. Seal. That's a tough one, dude. You want to know something funny just that only you'll laugh at? Okay. So, it's not the same thing, but it's like the but it's like this stage of the same thing. But what my ex when we were together, she told me that in our talking phase, she had sex with uh one of my friends. Why would she do that? It's a guy that he used to live with.
12:49 She told you that cuz she wanted to just nuke the whole thing. Like what? Like why was she What was What was the point of bringing that up? Because we were just confessing stupid ████ to each other and I had such harmless stuff. Like you guys are playing truth or dare or something? Yeah, we're just talk cuz we're still like we're just talking and ████ and then like this is how Omron is born. This is like when when Bart like when Gio's like, "You can smack my ass." And Bart ████ like attacked it with Yeah, exactly. Like we were just talking about it though. Yeah. I I said something like Oh yeah. Like when when we were just talking, I I met up with my ex. I thought, but nothing happened. And she was like, "Oh, when we were just talking, I ████ this dude." And I was like, "Oh, okay. That's tight." Wait, what year was this? Yeah, the the year. The year. The year. What is the year, dude? But I couldn't
13:40 see him the same way after that cuz I was so cool with that guy and I was like, "God damn it, man." Oh, so you felt more betrayed from the dude because he knew you guys were talking. No, he didn't. I don't think he really knew. But but I just like really like that guy. Like everyone ████ likes. That's why you don't want to put a face to a name. Yeah. That's why that's why after that like anyone I ever dated when they're like, "Should we talk about our past?" I'm like, "It's fine. Let's move. I don't want to know." Yeah. Because like that like that guy is so cool. And he's still cool, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's cool. He's cool. Went to a concert. I can be friends with him now because I don't care about that girl anymore. But at the time I was I was really cool with that guy at that period and then I was like, "Oh, I can't see him the same now." That will do it. Changes it. That's so funny. But it's like he didn't do anything against me. It's just the thought of like somebody else like in
14:31 your girl at the time that you liked her a lot. You were trying to get her. Let's beat his ████ ass. Let's break this guy's ████ life. That's the craziest thing. If you met him, you'd be like, I can't do it. I love this guy. The chillst guy. He's so ████ sick. Such a He's like Canal, you know, like Canal. Like Canal's like so cool. He's like that. Yeah. Chill guy. When when someone's in the ████ zone, it doesn't matter. But if you really like someone, it does matter. Why is that? Because we have feelings for them. But then like we're territorial. We're terri We're basic savage territorial. Cuz like like we like nutting in girls because we like to know that we were in there. Yeah. I do it whether they're in the ████ zone or the love zone. Joe, you're also a special person. You're special. He calls me a robot. Robart. He's a robart. He calls me. He's Jobot
15:21 then. No, no, it's different. No, no, not really the same. He's a robot and I'm like a wild animal. There's a difference. You're ganic. You're like I feel like you're the scient the crazyentric scientist. Joy like Joe. Joe Joe of the jungle. Yeah, Joe of the jungle. Yeah, I'm Joe the jungle. Joe of the jungle. And real Bart. Yeah. You're like a monkey who can experience the full range of human emotion. That's just release him in man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He has a human language. It's nature versus nurture. Just for fun. Just for fun. If this happened to you in your holy marriage that you have, what's the consequence? That's tough. Two 20 years later, you have to we
16:12 probably have to get a third person. And his name was Mike Song. Why? You knew Mike Song. What the ████ You're not the person. He knew me. He knew my vagina very well. Oh my god. He typically knew me. Why are you talking to me like that? Why are you talking like this? to Steve. I think that's so different because of their history and how pure it is from high school lovers. That's like a foundation. That would be such a Yeah, mine isn't pure cuz we're ████ Well, I think for our situation, it would be like cuz if I did that to her, it would be like, "Oh, I'm a ████ liar." Like everything is kind of like built on a farce kind of a little bit. Mhm. But if you both lost your vcards, I think that's special because when you're already a ████ post Vcard is different. Oh, you mean so if you're still the first, but then she had a second at that time. They're both the first. If both of
17:03 you guys are the first. No. Yeah. But then if it's both of them are each other's first, but then after that somebody else had like she had an ex. You didn't get to taste any new ████ Yeah. Yeah. What if that came out 20 years later and she's like, "Hey, just so you know, like this thing it would probably change how I look at her for real." Like I probably wouldn't be able to look at her the same straight up. You look at her like trash. H not to say trash, but it would just it would um Yeah, I just probably wouldn't be able to I think immediately I would go cold probably. Oh no. It would probably it would probably make me go nah like like immediately straight up. But the 20 years later though Yeah. But then that's when you would have to go makes it worse. You know that it was all built on a loyalty lie. Yeah. Exactly. Cuz that that was the that was the premise. Like that was the whole thing. That's my whole thing. And then and and I think for a partner, you need someone that's
17:53 gonna ████ like ride for but then exactly. You have to you have to have riders loyalty only. And then you can't break the trust. But then because you broke the trust, I'm going to go find a 21-year-old chick looks just like you. Just like you did, brother. And she's going to go, "No thanks." Yeah. I'm like, "Oh, this isn't working." You get in the ████ car. Get your ass in the car. I really need this right now. Get in the hatchback. part of my penny plan. You are my plan. That's how I say this. It's your lucky day, girl. And she's like, "Wow, please stop putting that bag over my head. Oh my god, I'm going into a trunk right now. Oh my god." But like, you know, I'm I'm I'm distressed. And she starts yelling, "I have an Air Tag." [Laughter] If you're driving around University Las Vegas, we know why.
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