0:00 Ooh, yeah, dude. You know what ████ sucks about the new Batman? Michael Cain wasn't Bruce Wayne. I mean Alfred. [laughter] Wasn't Alfred. >> Yeah, yeah. You know, that'd be a trip. >> Seeing another Alfred ████ I can see different Batmans. >> So you're saying they're going to recast Batmans and keep the same Alfred? They did that. Cuz that's a real Alfred. You guys remember a couple years ago Matt Reeves, director, made a Batman movie. >> Heck, yeah. What'd you think of it? Which one? The Batman. >> The Batman with Robert Pattinson. Yeah. I watched it. >> Did you watch it? What'd you think, Bart? >> It was so much talking, though. A lot of talking, yeah. >> boring. I couldn't finish it. So there good news, Joe, there's a sequel coming. Yay, more talking? >> And it features a villain
0:51 that apparently hasn't existed before. Mhm. The did- the diddler? Never seen before. >> no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's existed everywhere. On camera, anyway. >> Joy Behar. It could be. We don't know. So we're going to describe who the ultimate Batman villain would be, we think. Based off of what they call the canon. Whatever you want. We don't need rules already. You need rules immediately, huh? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You mean you mean villains that have already existed or or what we think is going to >> it up. Make it up. >> You make it up. No more questions. Start now. Catman. There we go. That's how I like it. >> Why why why would back Why would Catman be Batman? >> Cats catch bats. They do? I didn't know that. [laughter] I've never seen >> You've never seen a batty batty go by and then a ████ cat goes meow and then ████ grab that ████ and I think I'm too dumb. I never saw it. I
1:42 say parents, man. Parents, man. A one with the healthy household and the parents stayed around but he's still a ████ >> so many parents, this guy. It's crazy. >> Parents, man. Parents man's good cuz he If he has like 60 parents, Batman's totally destroyed. >> Arch nemesis. He probably drives like a minivan. >> [laughter] >> I like parents, man. Yeah, parents Cuz bat it brings out his jealousy and envy and then he doesn't know how to deal with himself cuz he's always been a good guy. Mhm. I like Man-Bat. Oh, that's a Man-Bat. That's a real one. >> that dude? Man-Bat? I haven't drawn him yet. Well, no, he exists already. >> He's a real one. >> No, no, no, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. >> [laughter] >> Bart's like Bart's like, "What about a guy named Mr. Freeze?" No, [laughter] cuz Man-Bat he's a bat that dresses up as a man. Oh,
2:32 that's a different concept, yeah. Okay, same name, different concept. That's a different concept. >> No, it's different. It's a It's completely different concept cuz he's not even human. Yeah, Man-Bat's not human, either. a human being, it's a bat, straight-up bat that dresses up as a human being, so he's flying around the town in a human suit terrorizing Gotham City. Terrorizing Gotham City. >> He needs to have human traits as a bat. >> So Man-Bat does fly. Just so you know, he's a comic book villain. Are you sure? Let me see. He's in the animated series, too. Yeah, I'll show you. >> Man-Bat? >> Yeah. He He looks like a big freak bat with pants. >> [laughter] >> He looks really funny. Man. >> I don't know what to tell you, Bart. You should have wrote comic books or something. His villain is It's like this guy grew up with both loving parents and they're broke as ████
3:22 Oh, yeah. >> The opposite of him. >> Yeah, yeah. Broke as ████ and someone who can show his face. Suburban white man. Ooh. >> That's good. >> You know what'd be a pretty sick crossover? Mothman. Mothman? Mothman as a villain. But isn't there a Mothman? That's what I'm saying. That's why it's a crossover. Oh, it's a crossover. If we're going to talk about crossovers, Wolverine. >> Oh, [laughter] ████ As the villain? Damn. >> Hey, that's happening comics, too. So take it easy. >> Batman versus Superman. Yep. You're right. >> But now we make the storyline where Wolverine is trying to kill him. >> [laughter] >> He's trying He's trying to murder him. It's pretty good. He just doesn't like him. That's pretty good, Bart. Is this how you wanted us to brainstorm? >> Yeah, of course. How about Oprah? Oprahman. Oprahman?
4:13 >> What did Oprah do? Everyone is like, "Oh, look at this billionaire playboy. He's so irresponsible. His ████ dad did all this shady ████ or whatever." And he's like, "If only you guys ████ knew who I really am, right?" And he's like fighting crime. Oprah's the opposite. Everybody loves me cuz I give them a ████ Ooh, that's hard to Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love to eat ████ adrenochrome on the side. >> Oh, no. >> She's out in the open. A villain, okay, I got it. Yeah. >> All the adrenochrome comes from orphans. >> That's true. So she's good on the outside, >> bad on the inside. What about the villain Jack Ma? Mhm. You can't beat him. Jack Ma Trying to beat him. Cuz he's going to purposely when when Batman's getting his suit ordered Jack Ma's going to put all kinds of holes and cracks in his ████ suit and he puts it on. And he's going to shoot at the bullet and he thinks he's bulletproof
5:03 but >> [laughter] >> He's just polyester. You think I don't know where you get this ████ made? Batman never even got a suit delivered cuz it got back-ordered for 19 weeks. >> Yeah. Jack Ma strikes again. Yeah, I could see that. But he got cost savings on it. Yeah. Okay, real talk. I think it'll be Calendar Man. Why? So Calendar Man's an actual Batman villain who's obsessed with the dates. Like Schedule Man? I like Schedule Man. >> He's a serial killer who's obsessed with with the calendar with dates. So like numbers, dates, times. He's very intentional. I think they're So he's like the Clock King but even worse? Exactly. But he's But he's like He's actually a decent villain but he's sort of sounds silly if you say Calendar Man to people. Sounds a little silly. You're right. But that's the name, Calendar
5:53 Man? What about Schedule Boy? Schedule Guy. >> That sounds like you. >> Clock Boy? Skelety Eddie. So that's my genuine take on what I think is going to happen. A lot of people think Mr. Freeze is going to happen this >> it's going to be the Island Boys. >> [laughter] >> Stop this. That's really gross. I don't want to touch you guys. You know what's going to be? Yeah. It's going to be Audit Man. Audit Man? Wayne Enterprises audit, brother. Where's all this money disappearing into this random sector of your business for R&D going? >> Ooh, yeah, dude. You know what ████ sucks about the new Batman? Michael Cain wasn't Bruce Wayne. I mean Alfred. [laughter] Wasn't Alfred. You know, that'd be a trip. >> Seeing another Alfred ████ I can see different Batmans. So you're saying they're going to recast Batmans and keep the same Alfred? [laughter]
6:43 They did that. Cuz that's a real Alfred. Did Do you know history? Do you know your ████ >> Did they really do that? So Al Gough is his name. Alfred Al Gough. He was Alfred in the Keaton Batman. >> I thought it was Alfred Pennyworth. He was Alfred Pennyworth in the Keaton Batman. In Batman Returns, Batman Forever with Val Kilmer, recasted Batman, same Alfred, Batman Robin. Yeah, but but this era they already cut that. So so that was all consecutive. But this one they already did Michael Cain and then they jumped over to Jeremy Irons. So it's like bringing it back would be bringing it back. >> Bring it back. I mean Michael Cain is Alfred, dude. Yeah, but that's a different It's a disconnected one. Chris- Christopher Nolan would have said, "F███, no." How about Commissioner Gordon cuz it was the same one on the other the newest
7:33 one? On the newest ones for three ones, yeah. Commissioner Gordon, the guy with the glasses. >> True. But Pat Hingle played Commissioner Gordon in the OG one. But that's not the newest one. The newest one is the Matt Reeves Batman. What I'm saying is that the Christopher Nolan Batman was already two Batmans ago now cuz now we already got the Ben Affleck Batman with Jeremy Irons as Alfred. Now we're into the new Batman already what with Robert Pattinson. So it's like >> Who was his Who was his Alfred? Who was Alfred for um He's from The Prestige. Smiegel. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andy Serkis. Andy Serkis. Thank you. Bring him back, Alfred. Did they already do a Batman where Clayface is the villain? No, but that's a rumor. No, no, Clayface is actually a movie being made right now. But that's a James Gunn DC Ooh, I love it. >> be a horror movie. >> I love it. >> Separate. That's great. >> Separate from >> That's dope. >> Sick. Because like Man-Bat
8:23 bat in Batman the cartoon >> believe they made a Man-Bat already. >> [laughter] >> In Batman the cartoon series, Clayface was sick. Did you guys all watch Penguin, though? Yes. That was so good. Are they going to make a number two? They already did. They did the second season already, yeah. They have to. Watch which one? They're doing it right now. Penguin with Colin Farrell? Penguin's good. >> It's really good. Oh, ████ Dude, that guy's a real Man-Bat. It's a Man-Bat with >> When you think Penguin's going to meet Batman? So the apparently uh Colin Farrell already confirmed he's going to be in this next movie. Cuz he was in the first movie but you were probably too bored you didn't see him. I didn't like that one. Without trying to raise our expec- uh expectations too much specifically Matt Reeves and Robert Pattinson said that the script for Batman 2 is better than Batman. But by the way, Matt Reeves wrote it.
9:14 But like to come out and actually say that is like you balls, yeah. It's ballsy. Is it? What What What else can they say? But by the way, Robert Pattinson ████ sucks as Batman. >> You think? Okay, explain. >> [laughter] >> So I love So I watched the movie, I loved the world. I thought the world is really cool. >> You're saying he sucks as Bruce Wayne. I And I thought it was a I thought it was a cool It was a cool take and a cool twist cuz obviously you got to evolve, you got to change. Catwoman super hot. She's pretty cool. >> Jawline of the century. Loved that world. I loved the chemistry. I loved the backstory of all and all that stuff with the mom with the with the with the with the mom and then the mom was uh worked out with the Colin Farrell's character, all that. I loved the whole up story. I can't get into the ████ simple plan dashboard conventional version of Bruce Wayne. That's ████ weird. The brooding, huh? Yeah, like how is this How is this ████ guy supposed to like be like a
10:06 like a ████ martial arts master that like, you know, kicks everyone's ass? By the way, how do you even How do you even drive a motorcycle like this, dude? He ████ like can't even see anything. Yeah, this was so ████ emo. I couldn't get behind emo Bat. There's no wind. Yeah, I can't get behind emo Batman and um But I But I still think he acted his ass off. >> He did. Yeah, Robert Pattinson It's very good. >> Great actor. I don't blame him. I blame the I don't know, the world building. I mean, not the world building, the um whoever designed the character. I didn't like that character. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. He's too ████ Yeah. >> More fighting. >> More fighting, less talking. Too much talking. Got bored. I did like the way that they showed Batman. Like you know how like they just cut a lot? So like Batman's out and he's on rooftop. Like for example, in The Dark
10:56 Knight, probably the best Batman movie ever made. Absolutely. Okay, so he's at the party and Rachel's there and Joker's there and Joker throws Rachel off the roof. Batman chases her. There's all these Joker guys up at at the party holding all these people hostage. Batman chases Rachel off the roof. He saves her. They land on the car and then he's just like, "Hey, let's let's not do that right again." And then they just cut. It's like, "What happened to the people at the party?" What? That are held hostage? >> Yeah, like what happened to the Joker? He's up there still? Like So Batman's just like, "I'm going home, dude. My back hurts." >> [laughter] >> LIKE WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Like I just think that they cut so much, but I like how in Robert Pattinson Batman he he goes off the roof of of Gotham Gotham City Police Department. He like lands on a truck and hits like a highway
11:48 overpass and like has a bad time and they show him going home and like how he goes to home home through the sewer system on a motorcycle. It just seems more believable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just like, "Let's cut around everything." I just liked it. I liked the atmosphere of it. But I did think that Batman was a ████ That's what I mean. I like the world. I thought they did a built really good world. Agreed. I don't think they should make another Joker. They They ████ up the neck the recent one. Oh, part two with uh Lady Gaga? Oh, I know. >> What the ████ is that musical ████ >> know, brother. I don't know. It's a really strange call. It was really strange. >> good and then it took this acid trip. >> But he was hyped for the next one. Man. I think I think Todd Phillips, the director, got called a genius so much that he thought he was and just thought he could do whatever he wanted. >> Oh, okay. So he he thought he had no wrong answers, huh? You don't need to tell a story anymore
12:38 cuz you're a genius. Do whatever you want. >> So teed up for like the next one, man. I was so ready for it. There were great moments, but just overall when it went to like acid trip, it was like, "Okay, now I get it. You're in his mind. So like you're having a musical, but it's like but it's still a musical with Joker." By the way, the last time that happened, it was Zack Snyder who did that movie called Sucker Punch and it sucked for the same reason. It's like all these girls at the psych ward and then in their brains are going to this hyperdimensional place where they're kicking ass, but then you're still back at the psych ward, so it's all just like >> Awesome veneer, really ████ execution. Yeah. That's like That's always the example to pull up. >> Yep. Yep. Yeah.
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