0:00 [Music] so there's a new plan in wales that is going to make hitting your children punishable by up to five years in jail and i heard they ████ beat their kids out there you know what they do worse than asians no dude like ████ welsh in like northern england and all that they're like asians dude they they're like oh really they're like walmart white you know like they're not like oh are they considered kind of like redneck kind of british that's like straight up like they're like irish folks you know like they're not they got feather dust they're not no california white is what i'm trying to say yeah yeah they don't have names like skylar and then ████ making me like all organic vegan food they got some edge to them yeah they're like learning how to ████ each other up all day you know got it yeah damn so that means they can't do that anymore they're gonna turn california in five
0:50 years in jail i think everyone's trying to be like the californian white it just feels like reading news whole foods like because we all grew up getting pretty ████ up right generally did you get hit by actually i did not oh wow man you got loved i probably got hit like once once yeah what'd you do and then i don't remember and then never again i don't remember were you a good kid i think i was a good kid i talked to my mom about this recently too and then i was like how come i didn't she said she said you're a really good kid she goes i slap the memory out of your brain it's like the men in black thing but it's just like tasered as a kid i just didn't even know like no yeah she didn't hit me she just pepper sprayed me all the time yeah no i didn't i didn't really you know what's crazy is um like a lot of my family members too that they got their ████ ass handed to them like a lot of their parents don't even remember ████ them up our
1:41 parents are all gaslighters though yeah they're all ████ like abusive gaslighters dude i think they repress that memory look i didn't do that they take a whiff of that themselves like you spank me like every ████ week shut up what did you do you remember what you did that one i don't remember i don't remember i was probably really really young what could be so bad that you would get that one yeah i don't know what did you punch me what did you guys do that that made them like beat the ████ out of you i don't remember i didn't get beat the ████ out of i i was forced to kneel on a ████ in the corner and on carpet it wasn't that bad but on carpet yeah but facing a wall a carpet kneel down on my hands all these pillows they're tempurpedic memory for me but i had to kneel and face a wall and just do that until whenever my dad was like all right you can come out now what's the longest they made you do it i
2:31 don't even know i couldn't tell time because i was just it felt like forever you were just you were still at peace time didn't exist that's when can started doing this he was like no i didn't even dance that's how he figured out geometry no but that was my punishment i didn't get like hit that much i think i did get hit but it wasn't it wasn't like i'm ████ bleeding but my brother got hit like a lot your brother seems like the type that gets in trouble your brother's a wild boy he looks like he deserves it though [Laughter] dude i don't know what does he look like why is that so just look at him do you just pull him up asian version the asian version of the dude that sat behind mike tyson his name's lazy luke can you have candace brother yeah there he is yeah we found out this guy kill him kill him ████ him that's genghis khan
3:25 [Music] [Laughter] came up no i gotchu his name's really lazy lou l-a-z-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e look what it looks like your brother's a gangster lucy um i guess i don't know it's funny because he looks nothing like is he at the mermaid caves he's got a cenote bro that's what it looks like it's funny because when you say when you see them together you're like how are you ████ related he looks scary as ████ bro it's like the antithesis of you yeah yeah yeah basically it's like all the soft and kind-heartedness went to him and all the anger and destruction went to his brother yeah that's crazy but it's probably like childhood trauma because for him his life was way harder than mine you guys not grow up in the same place we did same house exactly
4:17 same parenting everything because your parents took out their stress on your brother and when you came out they're like maybe we did a bad thing that's interesting no we're only two years apart who's old only two years older no i'm younger but the thing is like we got taught the same lessons everything but then for some reason like it maybe it's his perspective on the world but like he always felt like everybody's against him he needed to you know man up because you never got beat up yeah maybe because like you just got to kneel and he was getting his ass no he we had the same punishers but then for some reason he he would misbehave way more than me so he got you know hit but yeah are you guys tight we we're like we don't talk is he protective over you that's not tight like if somebody messes with me like have you ever pulled that card you're like my brother's gonna ████ come after you no and then they they assume he's
5:07 probably just like you yeah [Laughter] i don't want all of mongolia to ████ me up no way that's your ████ brother yeah like when i tell people that oh yeah this guy's my brother like he's your brother and then they're always like oh ████ like they don't mess with me yeah dude that's crazy that's like looks like a but you know what i like you you're a family of hobbies right the funny thing is like so you know what his brother looks like right this fool had a chicken collection so be like hey joe you want to see my chickens where's chickens tatted up too no they're pets kid yeah and he was sitting here and he's all into ████ chickens so like he had like this ████ fancy rooster with the
5:59 tail that went like this and i didn't know there were so many different kinds of chickens and then he gave me a whole ████ ████ full of eggs like i'm talking about those costco sized stacks right and all and they were all like different colors i didn't know they came in blue eggs ████ all kinds of different colors like it was nuts happy easter the yolk was orange as hell too that's some organic ████ so he's like a gentle giant kind of dude his person no he's not gentle okay he likes chicken opposite of you so his tuts are ████ this way just every move you do no he actually raps oh wait is he good yeah um have you guys battled did you guys battle i don't i don't like that type of music but but people that do like it you know they probably really like it but no we don't
6:50 battle or anything like that we like pretty we're like pretty like separate you know like he lives his life i live my life but i don't um when we talk we talk you know you know it's funny i bet somewhere out there he's going i'm gonna my brother's gonna come after you and he's talking about you and then they're like terrified yeah did you guys ever fight growing up uh we fought a lot but like fist fight yeah we did fist fight before no ████ way because me and him were always in disagreement and he would always pick on me yeah like he would be he would do ████ like ████ tap my ass and be like ah you're gay i'm like but you're the one tapping i'm so i gotta sit on you you just got tagged did you tap him right back and i was like confused so most of the time that i got bullied by him i was mostly confused yeah you're gay bro yeah
7:40 dude this is but it's not because of genetics that's like going up to a dude and like sucking his dick and being like you're so over the game doesn't mean grabbing this dick i'm like oh you're a molester yeah so you're so stupid and i feel molested dude that's confusing that's a cool thing to learn about you yeah it's my brother is cool man [Laughter] he's cooler than me and he protects me yeah that's cool he's protecting he loves chickens man i miss those eggs though man the blue eggs you can get that you can get that does he stop uh chicken collection no they i think they got rid of chickens like a long time ago that was just like back then that was just a hobby of his uh yeah he was he's into random yeah yeah when you get them or obtain these chickens yeah oh you can go to the store
8:31 you can there's like stores in oc where they sell live chickens like to to sell as food but you could also buy the baby chicks and raise them oh it'd be like going like the chinese supermarket and buying the fish but instead of killing it yeah yeah oh ████ i did that you know what everybody does i got some tilapia at the chinese rest uh chinese uh ████ market pet tilapia i know i just got tilapia and i was like you know what i'm gonna do because it's cheaper when it's small so i'm just gonna put it in the fish tank and raise this and it gets bigger and then i'll eat it when it's bigger right and i'm so dumb because i'm thinking about how cheap it is but then when you buy the fish food and you spend money on like raising this ████ takes more money out of you on top of that he gets emotionally attached so he doesn't even
9:22 eat it i did end up eating it but it was weird oh that's so does it taste good crazy like your own what i also wanted to do too is the tilapia always tastes like ████ grass depending on like what kind of pond it was in right so i was thinking if i put them in like something like fresh water where it's not eating algae all day it's gonna have that cleaner taste so what was it eating just like little flakes just uh fish food just regular fish yeah cause then when you raise it and like in a pond it's gonna taste like the grass that it's eating and then i don't like that taste did it taste better i didn't do it for long enough he goes it tastes like history it still tastes like grass you are what you eat yeah i could just eat the fish food then go straight to the source right i think the weirdest part is when i killed it i didn't like slammed its head hard enough so while i was like cutting it up and cleaning it it just started wiggling and ████ and i'm like ████ dude yeah isn't
10:13 it illegal to like uh prepare seafood without killing it like technically quick though i don't know why like they die in like five so when you boil them life yeah because they're sentient beings maybe get like five or six claps and there's [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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