0:00 why can't they get a date can't get a date is funny cuz they want to be a mistress mentally unstable oh yeah and they they got red flx they're physically unstable to a woman has taken a DNA test and found that she's 40% dog whoa what the fu what does she do make out with a dog before she spit it to the 23 minut oh cuz she likes doggy style all girls do boy especially the ones who like it the most did you see that one a compilation of uh this uh 23 and me like test result thing like this guy had a bunch of animals like from lizards to dogs and whatever and they would do the swap and then send it in and it be like my dogs part Mexican or what no way what no so check this out
0:53 that's crazy there's a company called DNA my dog right and they're selling these kits where basically you send it uhuh great ret yeah you you get your dog's DNA I'm going to do it my dumb ass is going to do it and you'll be like it's par cocker spaniel right so a team at WBZ News in Boston Massachusetts decided to check it out so they had this woman she's a reporter named Christina Hagar just go ahead and take the DNA test swab the cheek right send it in and then they sent it to a bunch of these companies that do this right one called orbit one called wisdom panel they're like oh the DNA could not yield a reliable result sorry but DNA my dog is like oh you're 40% Alaskan Malamute 35% sharpi and 25% chocolate laugh shut the so theying what dog does that look
1:43 like bullsh a dog is that but isn't that kind of risky cuz if you're just going to ████ what if your dog doesn't look anything near I know what if your dog and you look at the lady and you're like you look at the lady you're like oh she looks like a dog though this is basically the wuang rap name generator for double the price dud damn that's so smart though to Target like animal lovers cuz they'll ████ why what do you mean what do you mean they'll spend ████ of money spend money on the dumbest ████ and it's a multi-billion dollar industry dude and the amount of people that don't know what their dog actually is yeah right unless it's like a golden retriever it's pretty up in the air but then how funny if like that's how they're basing the value of like when they're selling dogs they're like let me verifi that buying a pure bread let's see let's swab them yeah it's a
2:35 sharp I'm out well that's the thing so you know there was um uh a New Hampshire pet owner who sent a cheek swab DNA to to the DNA my dog service same thing happened they identified this lady as as a border collie um 40% 32% Cane Corso 28% Bulldog but what if she's really protective and she's a natural provider like a kanic Oro could be what if it was like 20% sharp 80% human that would have been funny that would have been funny but they couldn't even identify the human the man do they make you it'd be funny if they don't ask what your dog is before they look at the thing you know they have to like cold read it you know cuz if you're already telling them that's how if it really works so what if the 23 me ████ is fake too cuz I I know that they sent the animal stuff and then
3:25 they're getting results that they're like Moroccan I'm sure it's probably some of it probably similar or do you think it's just like it's the beginning right because like everybody changes after a period of time where your stuff updates because more information enters the database you change into a poodle but isn't that the racket to get people to keep ████ doing it yeah it is kind of like MLM that's smart though like having like a our database is getting better better send it in again and you just send it and you just make money and you just send random like results cuz that's the that's actually the the plague that's affecting all of these companies right now when they were looking at the valuation of 23 and me was that they can't get people to do it again that's the actual the finance side of it there's whole like documentary like mini docs on YouTube about why their valuation is plummeting it's because once everybody does it they're
4:15 like whatever so then some somehow they thought of like hey do it again it gets better and better and better there's also the data breach they had a data breach they had the ████ hack remember a ton of people got their fake results stolen DNA ████ got hacked on the 23 and me oh yeah hacker stole ancestry data on 6.9 million users I mean that's definitely better than an infidelity website being hacked that's true yeah they just know your relatives that's all what is that one called something that was called Madison something Madison Madison Avenue Happy Madison Happy Madison that's what it was Ashley Madison Madison Square Madison Square Garden ases and Square Gardens wait what what was that one the infidelity one that was a bunch of dudes who want to cheat basically going to the service for a mistress and then the whole database got leaked and a bunch of dudes all their names got published got
5:05 wrecked that's F and what sugar babyice juiciest part of that was in this data leak they discovered that the guys were mostly just talking to bots that's sick it like it was like a high rate yeah of just like you're paying for the service and you're talking to a bot I always feel like those things have like three girls and like 5,000 guys yeah for sure and the three girls are just like probably not the kind of girls you want to cuz who who already signed up on that opening day yeah dude the kind of girls that can't get a date oh why can't they get a date can't get a date is funny cuz they want to be a mistress mentally unstable oh yeah and they they got red flag they're physically unstable to they're was falling everywhere physically unstable tripping on stuff I can handle mentally unstable I was like
5:55 I can handle it physically unstable is like oh that's kind of a burden oh that's some kind of good Justice though it's like badass oh yeah it's kind of sick yeah I guess it is pretty cool a lot of Rich dudes went down it's like they fell into a trap that's all it really came down I just want to see like now I want to see the uh spread on like what were the excuses all of these dudes gave oh my you know what I mean cuz then they got to get real creative now yeah he made me do it I didn't know that that's what that website was I I didn't even know it's a chat I saw an ass I thought it was Fidelity Roth ey already stupid it's pretty good right pretty good thank you at least sugar dating has real people on both sides that website you seen that oh that's a website what's that website so like Ashley Madison was like oh I want to like cheat and like meet some like young whatever but then
6:45 on sugar dating it's like yeah these guys want to meet a young girl but then also a young girl that's attractive wants to just get paid and like get gifts you know but that one's more upfront oh yeah cuz I thought there's like this it's called sugar baby sugar daddy stuff right or whatever yeah and then so they make an arrangement like I want an apartment I want a purse I want this yeah and then you get this many hours a week and the other guy's like I just want to be financially dumbed dude that sounds crazy oh man take over my bank account he's like that's kind of cool I wish I had that kind of money I don't get it but I mean I really don't understand that Kink no that one's wild to me I think that's one of the sickest Kinks to have yeah yeah yeah got so much money like dude I wish someone would just treat me like ████ and steal it spend my money please but you know what
7:36 one of the sad you know one of the sad truths is a lot of people with financial domination Kinks don't have a lot of money really and they go into debt for that ████ oh my God it's not as like it's not as glamorized as you think I thought it was like multi-millionaire it is it is that but there's also lots of stories of guys that are just like massively in debt from that I think I'm financially I think I like it too actually like kind of sad I dude that's what happened to a I have a friend of a friend and uh this just got like exposed to maybe Nikki over the winter break that like her husband like was basically like cheating on her with a chick Who's online who's basically like send me money and ████ like that I love you you're ████ awesome looking around you got CA you got no she's a real video
8:27 cam girl who was just fleecing him up and down on the Block and like talking to him like they're in a hot relationship and stuff and he would say she found all these messages like good morning I love you and all this ████ oh yeah just what was he just sending hella money he he went into Deb over it yeah like he maxed out a credit card he maxed out a credit card like under 10 G's but yeah damn if I didn't meet so wait he's with someone M and he ain't giving her money married yeah but he's given some other person so now the family suffering over to that oh Big Time wow but I heard that ████ happens a lot lot though but was the wife nagging probably being a ████ ass mhm that's that's always the case we're not exploring the full it's like that thing where there's like an iron burn on his dress sh and he's like ████ this cuz how many times did she tell him
9:17 to keep the ████ toilet seat down or whatever yeah drives a man drives a man to places he doesn't expect damn dude that's so sad yeah it's sad yeah that's like the the fact that they have a kid makes the worst oh no oh yep oh and they're not exactly like like like balling either so they're like they got to pay off this debt slowly which is basically just paying off this C grth so they're still stay they're still staying together see what happens that's crazy oh God that sucks cuz they're they're in a position where it's it's super hard to just break apart yeah if you got a l Kido you got to try what everything to keep it together if you can I I I believe in that co- parenting is getting popular these days oh the cam girl will be the mom now you have two moms Bud your mom's behind a video camera all the time
10:07 though yeah the the coolest part though is like is like when you get to hang out with these people after that after you know that it's just a fun like have a great time it's a real tense time she's just ████ all over him for no reason no no no it's uh it's more like uh how do I what do we the ████ do I talk about well do they know that you know no Can You Feel The yeah can you feel can you feel the tension can you how you hold it in you know I'm a riter I will not I will not but how do you hold it in I talk about anything else I look I look around the room and is that uncomfortable I'm very careful about it like I I just whatever it's like the kaer ████ he's like yo check out my new ████ webcam on my computer it's like super HD and I'm like what do you do when you guys are like at the end of dinner and the check is there and the
10:58 the dude's like I'll I'll get it Steve are you like oh no yeah let me that happened that happened I was like no you're [Music] good
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