0:00 Hey. So, uh, where's Bart, guys? He has, uh, diarrhea. So, I thought he drove halfway here or something. And I thought he doesn't he like pull over and take dumps on the side of the road. Like, he I think he can make it 30 times. 30 times. That's crazy. 30. Joe said going to be late like 9:20. Yeah, it's 9:33. Yeah. Well, let's get two videos in. I can't believe Bart 30 times in a day. That's ins. You should be dead. I feel bad. Can we talk about Bart's stomach virus? Cuz he had it last shoot. Oh, he did? Yeah, he was talking about it last shoot. No, he talked about something else. I feel like maybe he had like um food poisoning last time. I think this time is the stomach virus like the noro virus that's being passed around. Gio had it and then he got it.
0:50 What's a Nora? Wait a makes you ████ 30 times minimum per day. Poisoning might be like a oneoff thing that's not contagious cuz you ate something or you didn't wash your hands after you wiped your ass there on your thumb or something, right? Um, however, the nora virus or the stomach bug is something that is contagious and that's what's that's why he sent that that thing to us saying how in Clark County there's a bunch of cases in the uh with kids in schools right now. So he said he might have got it from like Tao or some but really it's probably just Gio and him making out and doing unsafe doing Yeah. Eating butts and stuff. just eating that to mouth. I just took my uh what is it? The food food handler certification safe. So, yeah. So, I learned about the big six. Oh, because you had to do the head in the clouds, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I just That's why I wanted to learn about like I didn't even hear about that on the test. Did you know
1:40 salmonell doesn't have anything to do with salmon? It's actually Did you learn that there? I just learned that today. That's crazy. Did you learn they have to wipe all surfaces before you use them? Oh, what now? Wipe all surfaces before you use them. He said white ball services. I thought he said white what? Don't gaslight me. White ball services. I heard that too and I was like wait wait. Why you making fun of me? We're trying to make fun of him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a Yeah. I only knew about E.coli and Salmonella. Can you do 18 minutes of the food handler tripping? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hep hepatitis A. That that's one of the big six. Yeah. There's three of there's six of them. But I just kind of like I didn't even uh read it. I just bullshitted through it. You're gonna get arrested. Say that here. Video, by the way, is called Joe. Why Joe's leaving JK is like common sense. It's common sense. Wash your hands. Don't put this food
2:30 next to the other food. I think K getting a Surf Safe is a better title. Yeah. Yeah. It's not It's more relatable. It's got white balls. It's got white balls. White balls. It's more niche. It'll get more new people. More people work in the food industry. Who's leaving JK? He's leaving JK. He's leaving. Yeah, these guys don't show up anymore. Where are the bosses? Yeah, there. So, okay. So, test some kind of virus, right? Joe's not here cuz I think he went to the beach. That's my theory. I think he went to the beach this morning. Surfing this morning gloomy cuz when we stay here, right, he stays really close. I stay pretty close. So, I think he went to the ████ beach. He misses Hawaii. Because he misses Hawaii. Yeah, that's my theory. You think when he said he's in traffic that he's in traffic going to the beach? He's like, I'm trying to get a spot out here. I got to get out here early. Bull Chica is pretty crazy nowadays. He's
3:21 like, "The guy's got it." Like the guy, you know how you're supposed to take a photo for Door Dash? Yeah. He ████ took a photo of me in it. Sometimes I do that, though. Dude, look. K's a professional derailer. Yeah, dude. He just derailed his Yo, I got I got Starbucks delivered cuz the one next to our office closed. That's actually pretty funny. The delivery guy had to take a photo of it. Yeah, you you look like what the ████ You look kind of cool though. You look pretty chill. I was like looking funny actually. Pretty funny. Yo, so the you know what's crazy is ever since I get Starbucks I've gotten Starbucks for you guys. Joe never gets a drink ever. He never gets one. But he got one this time. Yeah, he got one this time and he's not here. Wow. Maybe it's cuz he's going to get coffee. Hey, should we prank his drink somehow? Put
4:12 lax in it. Yeah, dude. Lax I ████ dare you. No, that's going to make our shoots. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to keep rolling every single time. Like, that's what's happening. Joe's pooping again. ████ Boy's back at it. Cuz he's late. We should be like, "You got to promise you can't take a ████ now because you're late." But then like we ████ xlax his drink. A little bit. Just a little bit to make some of the rice and beans. I hadn't said. You're such an ████ Just wanted you guys to see. Really good. Really good. Yeah. Authentic. He was looking through his phone for like two. Wait, he got two. He got I just had to show it to to you guys. Joe got two coffees. His I brought it over there cuz he was sitting over there. Wait, you guys didn't even close it. A man. We were We were betting on We were betting on uh We were betting on what
5:02 your first words would be through the door. What was it going to be? He said you were going to say, "I got to take a ████ What's up, everybody?" I got to take a ████ Is good. I'm so glad I didn't bet the house on that. I would have bet the house on that. You didn't even see. You didn't lock it. How was How was the surf? Think about that. The surf. I guess he bet He said you went surfing. Funny. That's so funny. No, I I went to go get my car. Dude, I'm so not used to LA traffic. Yeah. And he's like he's like, "Tell go get his Yeah. Yeah. Like my car Ryan's car is here. I'll go get it at lunch." Yeah. No. What do you mean your car's here? What are you talking about? No, we go to the same place on my Civic. Yeah. Oh, my Civic. I'm leaving in LA. Oh, yeah. And I was like, "Dude, I have plenty of time." And then the Uber took like 30 minutes. Man, it's a 10-minute drive. Yeah. It's crazy. No, it's crazy.
5:52 And then I was like, "Guys, I'm not I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to ████ make it. I'm not even in Chinatown right now." This is weird. Yesterday, I came in and then uh this bullet casing was just chill. Wait, that's a bullet casing? Yeah, this is a 22. Oh ████ I thought that was like a zipper thing. A zipper thing? Like you know the tab for your zipper. Oh no dude. And I was it was just sitting like right there. What the? So I was like who the hell who comes through the every time we come back in there's always something that happens to the office. Is this why is Yeah. Do you know what happened with the hole in the wall for the neighbor? What hole in the wall? The neighbor's like hey you guys made a hole in our wall. And I was like how did we do that? There's no hole on our side. It's above the ceiling. Somebody put a wood plank through. That was this morning. That was this morning. This a lot of things have happened this morning. What the heck is that? So
6:42 that's He's like, "Hey, when Joe's here, I got to tell him about my hole in the wall." Look, look at that ████ That's not even us. That's a can now. When we use videos, we just send him the can. I'm going to say, so that's Yeah, it's up there. Drop. Oh, wait. Why the ████ is that tile loose? Oh, because you jumped. And I think that's been loose, bro. We're going to start going why this to the office. I mean, we got 18 minutes for loose video. I look at it every day. It's been loose, actually. Okay. Okay. Yeah. But how did it get that way? What is that? It's been like that for a while. It's been like that. It's been like that forever. Can't take a photo of it. So, you can put it in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys can You want to take a picture of my water bottle? Is that Does he He knows that we don't have I told him. Yeah. I told him we don't even have access to that level. Yeah. No, you're going to take us out of
7:32 frame, dude. Sometimes I hear people walking up here and I think they're doing like work and then that's probably what happened. They're talking about this. They're talking They're talking about this thing in the ceiling. Thanks for Wow. Just totally Now the geogers are going to know where this office is. Yeah, exactly. The autistic guy. Guy's so good. He's crazy, dude. Rain ████ I can't stop watching that guy. Well, that Asian dude, he's like this white dude that doesn't blink. Looks like he's South African or some ████ They'll show like a fraction of a second of like some meadow and he's like oh that's Rhode Island. Yeah. They'll show a street light. He's like street lights like that are parallel like in Brazil. And he's like that's Rio de Janeiro. What's more impressive? The guy who does that or the guy who sits there and then like for one second like a a female porn star pops up and he has to say all their names. Those are so funny. Yeah. And then he goes, "Yes, that guy's more impressive." It's
8:22 like 14 seconds he goes to like 30 girls. Porn stars look so generic. I couldn't I couldn't do that. That's too They're too generic looking. Well, that's cuz you only watch Asian ones. Oh, yeah. My fetish. Asian. Hey, marry Asian if you got that fetish. Did you get it every night? Married nation. What's up, Nexart? You guys are tight. They love that. Dang. Hey, so uh where's Bart, guys? He has a diarrhea. That is next level, dude. We called this YOLO JK, by the way. Oh, really? And then I came in during it. He's back. I really right now. Yeah, I thought you did. Why Joe left JK? Trolling people, huh? Or Joe's leaving JK. Yeah, Joe's leaving. And I'm just like this JK later. Tears. And we finally get 100,000
9:14 views. Oh, that' be sick. That'd be sick. That'd be so sick. And they're like, "Oh, you guys ████ click baited me, b████." 100,000 thumbs downs. Next video. It must have been bad cuz I think all of us, we've all had diarrhea and stomach issues and whatever and we still come in. He said he couldn't make that drive though. Yeah, the drive is the tough part. No, dude. I think he's lying being strategic. Like number one, three day three-day shoot weekend. That's true. Nobody wants to be here for that. That's true, right? Number two, he's probably just still going to be at UFC fight pass or something like that. I was I was feeling better so I could go stop ████ Hey, good news, guys. I'm feeling much better. I'm at UFC. Man, wait. So, is he he's not coming today or tomorrow? For the whole session. He bailed the whole time, man. Oh, we got to make that drive, man. I thought he drove halfway here or something and I thought he doesn't he like pull over and take dumps on the
10:05 side of the road like he could I think he could make it 30 times though. 30 times. That's crazy. 30. But also, you should you get a citation for sure. Those type of things will spread and then we're all going to Right. We're going to get it. Yo, I chat GBTED how contagious it was. This is highly contagious. Oh no. I love touching his ████ too. Yeah, he loves touching his button going like, "Hey, everybody." He can't keep his hands off of Nick either. So Nick would for sure get all over my head. Get riddled with it. Yeah. You get like pink eye tip. Yo, let me touch your ear, dude. Tip's going to have to go back to Cleveland. Like whole series. Not good. At least we'll get the maximum amount of times you've taken a dump in a day. Three. Three. Like a normal normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Even if you were sick, like what's the most you sick? Yeah. Like like maybe 12, 13 or something like that. But like it's not to say that u
10:56 it's always just like a spray, right? Dry heaving. Yep. Dry. When I'm sick, it's like thumb on the hose. Uh and you always got to like do extra wiping and cleaning. Yeah, dude. You got to lift that under feet. It looks like it was just in the rain, dude. Yeah, that's the worst. Looks like you left it outside. Now that Bart's not here, I should tell you guys because I don't want him to win. But I had the uh I had the same thing that he went through with the shower where I thought I was done and I went to take a shower. Oh, that's exact same thing. And I went in a shower. No ████ way. Bart was right and it exploded in the shower. Yeah. Was this recently? It was like a You thought you were farting? Maybe like a like two or 3 months ago. Oh, no. You were trying to fart inside. You weren't the homeowner yet at least. No, it wasn't. No way, dude. That would have ████ I would have sold the house. I would have crawled out of there, dude.
11:46 If as a homeowner, I'm crawling out of that shower, dude. There's no way I'm putting my butt on the ████ tile. No way. So, you blasted your tile? I did the same thing where that that happened to Bart cuz I was sick and the exact same thing and I was like, "Oh my god, it's like I'm living his life." Was it like in the grout and stuff like that? Yeah. Were you scraping it out with your thumbnail and ████ It wasn't that bad, but it was the same like description of like it went boom bing. Did you like come out and like tell Smack right away? Because Bard didn't tell Gio cuz he No, Smack was on the John next to him. Oh yeah, that's the Bard experience. I didn't tell her any of that. She would have been disgusted. Like, oh, you having a tough time, babe. Like your blessing gets your Oh, no. I I had food poisoning recently, too. And like, you know, like when you're when you're going through it, the worst. You're just like constantly and
12:36 you don't know what's going to come. It just kind of hits you down there and then you you sprint. Your body you're getting bodyaches and chills and stuff and you're lying there. You're like, I can't do anything. But the second it gets like you can sprint. Suddenly you got like the fastest 100 meter dash ever. And then obviously you know you're spraying every single time. And then I remember Nina comes back one time. She's like missed a spot. No. I'm like damn it. Like I'll get it on the next one. I'm sure it's gonna like What am I gonna do right now? Dang, that sucks. That sucks. You know, that's that's when you're the most contagious. You gota you you can't share bathrooms. Oh, that's what I that's what Chad GB told me. Cuz if you sit down, the bacteria is going to crawl up your ass, right? No. No, that's not how it works. That's what Chad GBT says. Yeah,
13:26 bacteria crawls. Yeah, that's what Grock said. Well, then how does it enter your body? Because uh it's out anally. mainly. Oh, in in the air. Yeah. Oh, not Well, it's not airborne. It's like the particles from your dookie. It splashes all that. It gets molecules. You ever see you ever see they do a black light video of someone flushing the toilet with the and see that? You just see that little like in room raiders and then it gets on your hand. I'm brushing his teeth. It's like if you don't wash it thoroughly, ████ on a sink. There's just no point in watching stuff like that. You're never what? Do you live in a ████ safe house or something? You going to do like one of those washes like the scientists? You got to wash the elbows. Yeah, forget it. Yeah, bro. You're done. That did change the way I perceived like putting the toilet seat down though before flush. Hell yeah. Yeah. So it doesn't explode. Oh, really? Yeah. After I
14:17 watched that specific clip with the black lights and stuff like that and it shows how much like the spread you're like, obviously if you have a strong toilet, you know the ones that like ████ Yeah. get sucked in the airplane. Yeah, actually on the way uh this was like maybe two sessions ago. I was driving. You know when you ████ are driving from Vegas, you got to take a ████ right? You you're like you you kind of know different spots where you're like, I'm down to take a ████ here. I'm not trying to go on like the G&M food mark. I'll poop in a Target. Yeah. So Targets and Home Depot. I'm like, I know where those are. They're close to the Tesla charger. So I like I know where I got to stop by. Wow. But then there was this one in um a freaking Home Depot this one time that you know when the automatic flusher it just like there's something wrong with it. So while you're sitting there, it just keeps on ████ flushing. Yeah, dude. You like that? It just kept on you, dude. Yeah. It's
15:07 almost like a bedet. I was like, "Please stop. Like, I don't want my ass wet." Like, no. This is really bad. Please. I'm already having a rough day. You got to take off your shirt. Take off your shirt. Yeah. You have a black shirt. It just keeps going off. Hey, that's a good point. Wait, what? Yeah. Take your shirt off while you poop, dude. What if you're But what if you're black? That's why you take off a shirt. You got to put a white shirt on. Put a white shirt on. White shirt. Yeah. You have to get your ████ shirt. I didn't know he was being serious. You got to take off your shirt. I I thought I thought you're in a public restroom shirtless. Please. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. He's taking a dump. Basically naked. Yeah, dude. You're you're like a
15:59 2-year-old in a public restaurant. You know how 2-year-olds are always ████ completely naked in there and you're like, "Oh, Jesus." They're always like this. You're about to go take a piss. Some kid has it all the way down to their ankle and their ████ shirt lifted up. Why do they do that? I guess it's so they don't splash their shirt. Probably they're probably taught to do that so they don't pee all over them. That's true. I have the habit now of like flushing the whole time I'm using it. Courtesy flush. Courtesy flush for sure because of the pipes in the pipes in brewery are so small that if you don't do that you're going to clog the toilet. So I would always have to be constantly flushing it. Damn. Oh damn. You take some dumps, brother. Didn't know you were so cool. One out of 10 times I would use it with clog. I want I want to rename this video eat lunch with us. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's dude. Anytime I like Do you guys get a
16:49 sense of pride when you have huge s████? Yeah, absolutely. The relief is very So I started I started getting the uh Metamucil from Costco. So you could have that, bro. No, not so I Well, yes, kind of. You know, you're doping. It's fiber. It's just It's just two uh teaspoons of fiber that you you put in with like your protein shake or whatever, right? You're juicing to get to get a better bigger ████ You're the Lance Armstrong of ████ I don't think that's I don't think that No, no, believe the ████ You got to do chia seeds. If you want to do it natural, you got to do chia seeds. Chia seeds? Yeah. I can't just be ████ having chia seeds all day everywhere. Like this is what you do. You got to go natty. You do two tablespoons in some water. You let it sit so it hydrates and you pour that in your uh whatever you're drinking for the day. Do you do that? Yeah. You have chia seeds all You're ████ primo. Not not right now, but usually I do that at
17:39 home. But they're cheap, right? Chia seeds. Do you have a wheat grass plant? Oo. No. What the ████ dude? This video is super gay. You think I'm a loser? You think I'm a ████ piece of ████ Yeah. What? What? I take a wheat grass shot every morning. Yeah. I'm not that guy. Relax, dude. You are Pasadena, though. Hey, what the hell, dude? You live around that guy. I've only been airwan one time. That's it. Do you grow anything in your garden? Nah, dude. I'm trying to grow grass. That's the first thing I'm trying to grow. I got you. Grass.
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