0:00 Oh, okay. That's pretty much saying it, yeah. Let's pull up an Anthony photo. >> Oh, come. All comments. >> the year? >> Was your fat year? Let's let's What was your fattest year? >> Let's let's Google Anthony obese to see. What if you write fat Anthony Lee? [Music] Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Boys. Boys. I hate having to force you to think back this far and into this um past that you've probably so uh deeply forgotten about. But what's a hard lesson that you learned through an ex that you applied to this day? That makes you who you are. And honestly, might even make your relationship possible today. Mhm.
0:51 Or someone you you dated or any any interaction you had with a girl that's not your current wife. This is going to sound stupid as ████ I like it already. >> No, I don't think so. Probably is. Probably is. Probably is. You're about to sing? Huh? I want to tell you he's going to break into the music. No. Um It's like well, so I was fighting with my ex. And I was like, man, you ████ made me mad. And she goes, you made you mad. And I was like, what? And I was like, you're the one that ████ pissed me off. And then she goes, you're making yourself mad. >> That's a job your love moment, dude. And I was like that is so true. Like, ████ me, dude. What the ████ I control my feelings. That's so true. And then that just threw me off cuz I was like in no time in history has anyone ever told me that. You made you mad. But it's the
1:42 truth. I was I'm just I I choose to be mad, right? But then like I don't know. But Up until then, this is till my 30s. Like, up until then if if I'm mad, it's cuz you ████ made me mad. It's because we're fighting and you ████ you ████ me over, you ████ ████ you know? But then after that I was like, oh you're right. But I'm still ████ mad. >> And you know what else? You made you horny. You make you horny? And you made you poor. Oh, ████ >> But I I took more ownership. >> Yeah, that's a good That's really good. >> After that. >> Yeah. Cuz it's kind of like, dude, no matter what in every situation, like dude, are you a big boy that that can't like or or a little boy that can't control your ████ feelings? >> Right. And then yeah, I was like, yeah. >> You got caveman impulse. >> Right. Yeah. So I'm like, after that I'm
2:33 like, I'm mad because I made myself mad. That's a good one, dude. >> Really good. Cuz you could take that to the rest of your life. Cuz that's even what I'm trying to teach Taika right now. While I'll also I'm still dealing with, you know. Uh cuz it's hard to it's everyone's most people are reactionary. Even though we're in control of our reactions, but we're just so automatic with it just comes out. But then yeah, like Taika, but he made me throw the ball at his face. I'm like, no, he didn't. He did this and then you choose to go over there, find the ball, and then you ████ launch it. >> She made me hide her lunch. Yeah, that's extra hard because it's so funny, too, though. Yeah. And kids are extra impulsive. Like if as adults if we're ████ extra thick condoms, kids are extra thin condoms.
3:23 Like whatever they feel just comes out. Like Extra. Oh, they're they're they have no condoms. No condoms. Just ████ What a Kids are no condoms. >> it, though. I get what you're saying. There's Kids are irresponsible. Yeah. >> And imagine how long it takes to to find out that your first impulse isn't necessarily the truth. >> Your interpretation is wrong. >> Would you think that as a kid? Why would you as a child go, oh, wait, no, I just that's incorrect. Like uh Taika said in the back here, me and Jill talk, right? We're talking and then we'll have like a break like 3 seconds or 5 seconds. And he'll be like what are you guys doing? And we're like we're thinking. And he goes what do you mean? I'm like so when you're an adult, someone gives you an idea, you think about it and you don't just say the first thing that comes out of your mouth. And then he's like
4:16 he's already off to another track. But I think in his world it's like it's like ping pong, you know? Ping pong bam. It just goes back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> But for him it's like, what the ████ are these adult pauses in conversation? So boring. It's that's hella funny that you're just having a normal conversation, you stop for a second, what are you guys doing? What is What did I walk in on? When did you realize that everybody in your family was just reactive and impulsive and they didn't think things through? Oh, ████ Everybody gets there? No, I I think I think Are you projecting right now? >> No, I'm saying the majority of my family members are like that, which is why circle back >> in my 30s. In my 30s. >> When I when I was like, you make yourself mad, I'm like, oh, ████ you're right. But then in my family it's like they get mad and they're like, you made me mad, ████ That's what I got it from.
5:06 >> Oh, I've never I didn't have that. Well, you had a smart family. Really? Everyone took ownership of their feelings and reacted >> No, because I think at an early age because remember I was telling you guys when I was 10, my parents almost got divorced and it was mainly because my dad was a problem with how reactionary he was to blame in situations. So ever since that, my dad like it was a hard lesson that like it got drilled into my head that like oh, like if you just let ████ loose like off the hip like it's going to be a problem for everybody. Cuz So he made himself mad and he finally realized it. Well, he just should he just overreacted. And I think from there like I learned to not overreact and I I mean I did it wasn't perfect the rest of my life, but then I learned that like that's usually the worst result. Is the one that's the fastest is usually like. So I think at an early age I learned that. But that's cuz my dad ████ up for the rest of us. Like he was like the
5:57 you know, like with the thing you're saying that your family did, he did it so much on his own that we were all like before anyone else could get a reaction, we're already having to watch his. So it was too bad like he he was a lesson for everybody. >> Yeah, obviously, yeah. >> In my family, all the guys were like that. And the moms. So it's like it it's just normal. >> I feel like most families like that. >> Yeah, that's our family. >> Something happens, it's just people just start going off. >> So your mom would tell you that you made her mad? Yeah. She's like, you ████ up today cuz you made mommy mad cuz you did this wrong, this wrong, this wrong. So you get a spanking. >> got that, too. >> Yeah. And then you can't talk back or or state your case cuz you ████ up. And I'm like I remember I could I didn't know the word perception, but it was like, wait a minute, you have your point of view, I have my point of view, but I can't say my point of view and I'm just automatically wrong. Yeah. So I'm like, that's Asian style, right? >> Yeah. You can't state your case. >> My dad wouldn't even articulate that
6:49 he got mad. He would just be mad. Yeah. And I wouldn't under >> Default mad. Yeah. He's just already expressing. >> He's just getting his ass kicked already. >> Just right away. This episode is brought to you by the RP Hypertrophy app. Want to build muscle but don't know where to start? Get jacked with the RP Hypertrophy app built by Dr. Mike Israetel who you've seen on this show. This app features over 45 pre-made training plans to help you get the results you want. Everything here is backed by science and the very latest in research. So you know it's going to work. And the very best part? >> It's super easy to use. Our subscribers, that's you guys get a discount by visiting rpstrength.com/rpmuscle. That's rpstrength.com/rpmuscle.
7:41 RP m u s s c l. Link in the description below. >> Did you have a lesson from a past girl that kind of like hit you pretty hard? Uh the first thing that comes to mind wasn't like an explicit one, but like there was a time where uh with uh my first long-term ex-girlfriend that you know. Um at the very tail end of that relationship, that was also like I had just gotten laid off from a job and I was like ████ 200 lb or whatever and we were living at this apartment in Hollywood and she was like on her hustle doing like a whole new career as well. Uh and I was I just had this 3-month stint basically where I was probably a piece of ████ halfway feeling sorry for myself, trying to go on like monster.com to find like new jobs and whatnot, sending in my resume,
8:31 but at the same time like I hated that. This was a necessary point for me in my like life and my career in general, but I think the byproduct of like me needing to go through that, but then her supporting me in like a really s█████ time, but like I was s█████ to her probably and just kind of like she ended up paying more of the rent because I I wasn't making money anymore. I wasn't taking care of myself. Uh all that stuff. And then I remember one time at the very tail end of our relationship when it was basically really at its end and her just telling me these things, just listing off these things about like me like uh like her taking care of me and she's doing all these different things and I'm not doing this, I'm not taking care of myself and all that stuff. And that just somehow hit me in a way that like I don't know. I was just like living. I wasn't like realizing how like not tight I was as a person.
9:22 And I think since then like I just never want to be that person. >> Oh, okay. >> You know? So like now no matter what like I have to like be on my ████ I have to like take care of stuff. I have to like be as much not like in control, but like in control of myself in a way that's not like detrimental to somebody else's life. Like I just can't be that. >> that she would like that this was happening cuz you were just you were just like living. Kind of. >> And you just like you didn't know that you were being a miserable piece of ████ or something. >> Yeah. I see. And then she was like brutally honest with you and held you accountable. >> So you were kind of shocked when she was like, yo, check this out." Cuz like same thing, right? Like when you think something's especially when you're in a relationship and we were, you know, we were fizzling out um in our in the romantic part of our our friendship and it's like you think in your mind it's like, "Oh, it's because she's like this." Yeah,
10:12 sure, maybe I'm a little bit like this, but it's like this is why my my relationship's not working out. You know, this is why I might need to break up with her type stuff. And then it's like you get hit with the reality of like this is what I am to you. I'm like Huh. That's not tight. Like maybe I'm the problem, too. Did she call you fat? >> Uh she said I wasn't taking care of myself. Oh, okay. That's pretty much saying it, yeah. Let's pull up an Anthony photo. Oh, come I'll come. >> the year? Was your fat year? So, let's What was your fattest year? Let's Google Anthony obese and see. >> What if you write fat Anthony Lee? I don't think you just Google fat Anthony Lee. That's crazy. And if you can, holy ████ I'm I think you'll find find fat Bar >> Ryan has fat Anthony Lee photos like on his ████ I do. I have them like literally off the freaking ready to go.
11:03 >> of pictures of Anthony Lee. Fat Bar Kwan's easy to find. You could find him. If you write fat Bar Kwan Oh, there that's that's pretty good. It's not fat. It's not fat, but it's like That's cuz he started dancing and losing weight. How about we just go Simu Liu? Why you stare with the same kind of style of you? No, you this ain't this ain't fat, but I mean it's freaking I'll have to dig really deep to your Facebook to find it. But that's really crazy that she That's a nice way of putting it though to be like you're not taking care of yourself. Oh my god, the the Kinjaz twin towers t-shirt. What's that? Jesus. That's just forever history. Yeah, damn. We have to go to your Facebook to find it. Well, yeah. I think um there's just like this uh realizing that you're the problem, too. >> Yeah. And I know that sounds so like duh. It's
11:55 not duh. Especially in like your first like long-term relationship. >> will leave that relationship or that conversation and be like, "What a b████." And then just keep living their life the way they were. Right? I think that's most people, too. Well, yeah. To protect themselves Yeah, I didn't I don't think I truly realized all your problems are caused by you until like I'm in my 30s. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like you are 100% responsible for how your life turned out. Yeah, I didn't realize that till I was like in my 30s. The hard truth. That's also probably why like I'm still like cool with a lot of like my exes because it's it was probably like I was like the not cool one and they're just really nice. Mhm. You know what I mean? Like Damn, that's a trip to imagine you the not cool one. I think just like I don't think I like was like uh an Actually, I'm I'm not going to I'm going
12:46 to eat my words up. Uh cuz I was definitely I don't think I was ass I probably wasn't ████ You know, in in You know when you get really comfortable with somebody? Like who you are to like the exterior or like even just your group of friends, when you like are living with somebody, you you can easily become somebody else. >> get triggered and then you're on shorthand. So, now there's like no no pleasantries. It's just, "Hey, shut the ████ up, fool." And you're like, "Dude, I would never have said that if I didn't see you every day." Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so like I could imagine like I probably was just not being the person that you fell in love with. Yeah. And it's like, "Dude, when you like really realize that about yourself and it's like, okay, you know, I before I start blaming other people, I really need to start checking myself." And and I think that really not just like all my romantic relationships, I really think that did a number on like who I am as a person today. Like I'm going to check myself before like you wreck yourself. Yes.
13:39 Check myself for wreck myself. But you got to chiggity check yourself. Before you riggity wreck yourself. [Laughter]
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