0:00 [Music] a woman sues a man for ten thousand dollars for failing to show up to a date as she should damages as she should am i right was it a date where she like paid for something and they had to cancel so then she couldn't get a refund you're so empathetic like i wouldn't even try to decide in uh no because we believe all women yeah what do you think you guys are amazing i think that guy's a ████ piece of ████ i think he ████ up but no before your question no yeah so it's just for emotional trauma that's ████ exactly that's worth 10 jesus that's stupid pain but real talk though like if you if you guys knew what it was like to be a woman and how much they have to work in order to get ready for the day dude oh you know 10 000 every time
0:50 that's a lot of makeup is expensive yo ████ shaving that puss shaving that armpit shaving that leg shaving that mustache shaving that chin shaving at everything then they gotta ████ like shampoo that hair making that then they gotta ████ moisturize lotionized then they got a ████ makeup eye terrorized pasteurized ████ outfit eyes yeah and then like all of that they haven't even farted and ████ the whole time yeah they're holding it in holding it in when they're on a dude man you understand the like a woman all of that ████ just so we could get a boner just so we could get a bonus all of it hey that's bravery man that's really cool you bro thank you so much thanks for representing so this michigan woman is attempting to sue a man for 10 000 us dollars for standing
1:42 her up uh the woman named kashante short has launched a lawsuit against richard jordan in the 67th district court claiming quote intentional infliction of emotional distress after he failed the show for his date uh in a video that that was obtained by media the two appeared uh via zoom for a virtual hearing for the court where things escalated and uh is a video what lawyer took this ████ case pro bono i'll take it pro bono that's like some ████ judge judy's ████ yeah this is joseph judge joel brown did she win uh we're cutting to we're cutting to the spoiler right away if i just tell you the answer right i'm sorry i was just excited i like that i like that she's not even fully in frame in the zoom meeting but yeah she's too distressed so they're for real in wait what am i looking at this is like a zoom court that they're
2:33 in appearance imagine the guy getting served and he reads like what he's getting sued for oh that was a profile of her okay i profile close up like that yeah she's not even using it the right way have we gotten that soft that's insane so um he literally said in that zooming he to the judge he's like i don't see uh or no he says uh to be honest with you i thought this was just gonna be thrown out because he just thought it was dumb we had a date one date and nothing else after that and now i'm being sued for ten thousand dollars i think this is a waste of your time you say that's gonna judge the the court's time for sure she claims that the man lied about going on a date with her and accused him of perjury before the judge surgery what the ████ is perjury you put your hand on the bible yeah and then you tell elizabeth after you put your hand in the bible so i guess it was more like she was suing
3:23 him for not showing up or standing her up and then when he got into the court being the court of zoom and he said blah blah blah now he's saying hey you put your hand on the oath she's saying like you just lied under oath because that's not what happened so now that perjury is a part of her complaint not just does it count anymore since you can't even touch the bible to swear yeah you don't have to you can you can touch anything you touch the webcam like that is that like just your intention that's vocalized via recorded like camera you can touch the yeah you know bible you need quran are you telling me am a woman could sue me if i buy a movie ticket i'll show up if they decide to because they thought i was going to sit in the seat you know what though i feel like if she was like a super rich woman yeah like if she was a billionaire and then her time matters that much then i think that makes sense is she sue for 10 000
4:13 yeah if she's like making a billion dollars every year then do you i mean if you don't yeah her time is money yeah yeah you know so yeah she's a billionaire if she's a billionaire wouldn't he also still go to the judge and be like i think this is a waste of time she's a billionaire she's a billionaire if i was to do i'm like why'd you tell me you're a billionaire i wouldn't shut up i would have been i would have been there scooping up all your cash yeah you're telling me the wrong ████ tell me you ████ like muffins and ████ give a ████ dude tell me you're a billionaire start with that right start with leave there i'll i'll ████ marry you now don't tell me when's the wedding go to catalina i don't give a ████ dude the ten thousand is for the pain and suffering yes yes for for the emotional distress that was that was the actual allegation does the judge not
5:03 have any other cases to like work on or something is that how that works because this is seems like such a well i don't think it's the judge's fault for receiving they can't throw it out there yeah if she loses the case can she sue the judge for emotional distress from having lost the case like where does this end you know in america absolutely yeah the judge did tell the woman that she had filed to the wrong court as her claim was a matter outside the jurisdiction of district court so where the ████ you need to go feelings court [Laughter] supreme yeah supreme court that's what you gotta go dude you gotta go to the actual supreme court dude i want to see this go to the ████ top washington dc ████ straight up you gotta dial 988. how do they decide if you could sue a person for something and not you know yeah that's my question i think it's
5:53 just how deadbeat your lawyer is i think in america everything is uh suitable at least once yeah that's crazy until until it hasn't been figured out before i think that you always can win the lawsuit yeah no precedent i think that's why in in the states we can't have that much fun because everything gets ████ by people who sue like the parks used to be more dangerous for kids it used to be much more fun when i grew up and now it's all ████ soft as ████ they got that spongy ass like ground ████ they got all kinds of stupid like i don't know man it's all plastic if you go to australia the jungle gyms are way crazier like where the kids can climb and it just looks way more funny now that statistically child deaths are higher at playgrounds it's not don't matter no i think they're tougher look at the water parks just south of the border yeah like
6:43 if you go to mexico they should look like circus cannons that just shoot kids out yeah dude and it's all good yeah no one's suing anybody over there mexican theme parks dude that ████ is like life or death we're halfway there with like raging waters and wild rivers there's like like every single time i remember going to like raging waters of wild rivers i would think to myself as kid i was like dude straight up i'm in mexico this is like the most mexican people and i lived in buena park i lived in porter park so i was always always around a lot of man they should call that ████ like calm waters not raging if you compare to mexico like their theme parks are out of this world dude it's probably gotten scaled back even more now it's probably so expensive like they remember they started taking diving boards away from public pools yeah dude is that crazy they have the two level ones but how do you ████ up diving boys have you not seen them on like tick tock and ████ people have been ████ on
7:34 dining boards all the time it's like illegal in certain cities to have a diving board in your pool like some people they don't time it good so they come down they ████ hit their heads and that's the cost of the insurance it's not even the lawsuit it's like how much more you have to pay to have it it's not worth it yeah it's super not worth it there's like hikes all over um hawaii right where the government won't fix it up or do anything um because if they touch it or do anything then it's their responsibility so then volunteers just get together put their money together and then they just fix the trail themselves yeah but interesting it's one of those situations where we could have nice things if people didn't ████ sue all day ████ america i do wish there were way less lawsuits because like the way that you i think we we subconsciously interact with things we already know that we're already like
8:24 born to understand those things the way you talk to another person the way you don't talk to another person to like not say anything to protect yourself in that moment the way you need ████ like text and visual receipts for everything that you have in order to make sure every word is said the right way and you're protected dude the ████ even a minor but like a fender bender right like you're getting an accident like you just want to be a genuine human being be like oh sorry dude you okay okay whatever but then like they teach you don't ever ████ apologize don't even admit to wrong just deny everything and then it creates all these like like hostile situations where everyone's defensive and they're like no i didn't do ████ you didn't do no no you did that no ████ you you're gonna ████ pay for it now yeah or even if the sue amount if i give a fender bender right and if it was like hey i'm gonna sue him he ran into me for a thousand dollars to fix my bumper that's normal but for them it's like oh let's take it to seven figures
9:15 because of this this this this and like what the ████ you made me ████ get off like emotional damage because i got triggered after you ████ i wore this neck brace for eight months when i only needed it for never because the chiropractor's in it yeah yeah the ████ would do everybody's in on it the mechanics sit on it everyone's there to ████ heist money with your insurance company if you if you guys need a guy i got a guy i got a car a good car no it's everything like my buddies have just accidents insurance fraud you gotta interrupt homie will just crash into you go ahead where they'll be like oh yeah this was stolen this was in the car like the way they systemize everything it's like mechanics do that all the time yeah yeah the shady ████ and then they go through the chiropractor and then you go get treatment because you got in a car accident my back hurts then they're getting a little chip and everybody wins there was a there was a time where i parked my van on on the street in front
10:05 of my house and this lady uh swiped it just like when crunch with her porsche hit my s█████ ass van and then uh uh the when i ran outside what was that noise my neighbor was like yo that lady just hit your van and she uh was driving off so i i got in my van and i chased her and you ████ caught up i thought we were gonna be like ████ chasing through the hills she was three houses down went into her own garage and was shutting the garage i ran up and i was looking at her like this no way bro oh my god what happened after and she's all like well you parked so close like you're so far from the curb and it's like dude my wheels on top of the curb so then i i took it to this um i took it to this mechanic dude in sun valley like this armenian cat is like super cool and all she damaged was like one tiny ass area over my wheel like
10:56 super small and he goes you want to paint the whole van that's what they do bro and they ask you they ask you these leading questions oh what about the rims yeah the rims look ████ destroyed oh what about your taillights do you want engine oh my god this engine is destroyed oh my god what a drop gsr like dude it's a chevy vest and he goes he goes and your macbook was in there too right the macbook got destroyed that was the best and i was like ah dude i don't know man i can't because it was such a tiny thing but her porsche cayenne got ████ up because like my s███'s like a 70s van it's all eel and shame and i felt bad for her but like i was like dude she did hit and run and she did that i was like yeah it was a hit and run
11:46 because i just closed the garage on here the dude's eyes lit up and he goes even run like he started like drooling he did right and i was like no bro don't do it he's like you want her house we can get her house you want to paint your house too do you want the new dog i give you a new life i did it i didn't go for it you want a wife he had a he had a friend in insurance too that was like the guy that uh of course he damn dude i'm telling you bro that's how it works people that assess the damage and they value it yeah he had an inside guy too and they'll be like oh this is so ████ up this is really ████ up yeah yeah yeah but then the dude came to my house and he like he was doing the same ████ and he was like you could paint this whole bad man ████ cat cause it's so obvious and
12:37 i'm like i gotta live next to this lady it's such a crime though yeah it was a random person maybe but so you did the actual reasonable oh dude i got like fixed up the whole interior i got like 300 bucks yeah i got nothing [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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