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Off the Record: Bart Puts Taika in the Hot Seat :)

#poopmonster#toiletpaper#butt#tycho#jupiter
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 [Music] what up guys welcome back to another episode of hot seat oh my god today we got a special guest we got little taika hey welcome back to hot seat hey what's up tycoon [Applause] we got a little who's a little poop you're you're a little poo all right tycho hey as you know on hot seat we like to start a little cold so we're gonna we're gonna open show a little cold so the iceman should start it off cold so i'll just ask you this how much do you love your mom and dad fireman fireman good environment how much do you love papa a lot what about mama a little bit with a poop that sounds better

0:51 a little bit with poop do you love your mommy or daddy more i don't like daddy more than mom with would you say that she's hella poop or a hackapoo poo he got donut poop poop oh yeah a little bit of dutch bros like donut holes yeah and i'm gonna put my buns a little bit yeah which one is your favorite spider-man toby tom or andrew toby mcguire and um and andrew [Laughter] do you like spiderman or thor he just

1:41 said he likes venom he was licking all of the ████ hey taiga do you like jiu jitsu no i like comics but you like jiu jitsu too don't you like jiu jitsu that is guarded you have to have the mind of a child to understand what he's doing and i completely got it taco what's your favorite jackie chan movie um mr nice type baby mr nice guy let's go it was really cool taika how do you feel about feminism today okay cool taika is cancelled so taka what's your favorite pedro amadovar movie spiderman what do you think about the war between russia and ukraine um hey look right here look what's your message for vladimir putin tonight yeah

2:32 yeah vladimir putin [Laughter] but [Music] he's trying to silence you he's trying to silence is the earth flat or round round but not

3:23 how do you feel about the mask mandates like but she's like a video game punching like a video game like a video game i'm sensing a theme i'm not sure what it is i'm not too sure pick it up all right four hits in a row taka you've been learning um the ancient art of music but you've been learning the intro but i'm sorry i'm sorry ancient art i didn't know i was looking at my carbs all right bad journalism hey did uh do you believe that the coronavirus came from eating bats oh gross it is gross yeah yeah i get that what's your favorite song sunflower butt can you sing it so everyone could hear maybe never

4:22 you got a crush on anybody from school yet oh yeah that's a guess would you say that's that's how many more years you wanted trump to be president no you're gonna be poop oh damn are you ready what's your favorite color black you like black who farts more daddy or mommy daddy whose butt smells better mommies are papas mommy cause cause you're burnt on me we hear the truth yo bart's over farting on his child remember the last time you sneeze on me when did i sneeze on you

5:20 i was getting too cute it was getting too cool yeah are you afraid about you know robots dominating the human race or like is that i'm not scared of any of those facts not even artificial intelligence get out the poop you're scared of poop we are all scared the poop monster killed my brother he took my brother from me so when you say that it hurts my feelings oh he said he's gonna kill the poop yeah yes you're back hey how would you kill the poop monster what's a lifesaver with a lightsaber that's right up steve's street that's

6:10 really cool taco would you say that you use a light side uh lightsaber or dark side lightsaber this was the poop monster what would you do that's what if that was the poop monster gross don't put it in your mouth dude it smite me it ████ you tuck it away what if that was the poop monster what would you do yeah stretch them out i was trying to put them in the trash can put them in the trash can throw would you ever take scissors and cut uh eyes off of snails no right it's so bad

7:10 i'm not that weird after all tycho what crypto should i invest in butt snail but i should have seen it coming was right there it's gonna pump now for sure big time okay before this comes out i'm gonna get butt snail i i would get people's names beeping snails tycho what's spiderman's webs made out of and then you can't say butt yeah it's not made out of butt i know we already know it's not i rather spiderweb holy ████ this guy knows his stuff he knows another word who's stronger carnage or venom after um bad one that's the hardest question he's ever been asked last one

8:01 with the black one it's the bad one oh venom is a bad one yeah the it was just two of them one's a good one once about when it comes to the battle and he's just right he's trying to beat him so he relates more to carnage that's frightening his parents are here who's stronger than miles morales or carnage [Laughter] do you like the ninja turtles which one's your favorite ninja turtle don't say poop he's not a ninja turtle

8:52 yeah [Laughter] but why do you like rafael he's the mean one and he always do like oh with the symbols yeah he's getting his guys and then he [Laughter] he can dodge questions better than a politician scary face really good can you go to the bathroom by yourself yet imagine you asked joe biden that

9:43 question he's like wow amazing all right time to heat it up okay this is the 10 minute 54 second uh part of the show where we like to try to eat so tyka out of your mom or your dad wha who who would you say needs therapy the most today's video is brought to you by tushy when i first discovered the bidet i was kind of intimidated but when i was going back to my motherland of japan right i started noticing that these things are everywhere and public park bathrooms i was shocked right i had to give it a shot you know that shot cleaned my butt hole like i just showered and i felt like this is awesome because i always thought about if we ever touch kaka and get it smeared all over our arm

10:33 are we going to get a napkin and just smear it off dust it off that's the american way yeah you want to wash it clean it and then you want to take it out right yeah and i'm like that's the same thing for your butthole yeah that's probably way cleaner yeah and i'm super thankful because toushi hooked me up with my very own bidet set and i love it it's super easy to install it took less than eight minutes so fast and you don't need any electricity or anything like that it uses the whole system that it already has in the toilet it even cuts down on toilet paper usage by 80 because you just spray your little butthole and then you just pat and dry and that's it and it's going to be the cleanest you ever feel and it's so true because i save so much money i barely buy toilet paper now yeah and especially during the pandemic if people are gonna run into the market and buy all the toilet paper you don't have any toilet paper to use don't worry you got tushy

11:24 yeah i go you take all the toilet paper i'm gonna wash my ass with water and then i'm gonna use my sock to pat and dry we want all of our listeners to have clean bums visit hellotuition.com off the record to get ten percent off plus free shipping damn tag us and at hello to us on social media so we can celebrate your clean butt with you that's hello to she dot com slash off the record for ten percent off so taika out of your mom or your dad who who would you say needs therapy the most mom or your daddy mom or daddy i'll put them in the fridge and it's gonna go with the vegetables underneath cryotherapy okay and then i'll put them and then that made sense to me yeah i agree yeah i don't need a translator for that

12:17 baby that's all about the thing from all of your years of being on this earth how old are you four but so for four years what do you what do you regret the most what is your biggest life regret stupider oh jupiter [Music] what's your favorite planet jupiter jupiter jupiter you don't like mars you don't like uranus this is like right there for you it's right there no but you missed it you missed it you missed your anus you missed it i got your eyeball nice hey what's your favorite food [Music] oh very modern answer he likes rump roasts

13:11 hair like i was on his back on his shoulders he's gonna eat your hair oh no no you don't eat hair tycoon you're a hair eater tycho do you like to eat hair yep i could but i can't but other than popping back in the restaurant that's him on his shoulder i say yeah look a little like a [Music] [Laughter] let's pretend your uncle joe just recently came into a lot of money what should he do with it what's a reasonable thing to do

14:01 what do you like better china or mexico chinese are you mexican nope i'm chinese [Laughter] you got that steve confidence he just put a whole country in the garbage he just said everyone can relax you're mexican did you know that you know you're mexican mom yes you're mexican but you speak spanish that wasn't your butt cheek tyco this whole time you've been talking about butt cheeks we didn't know you're talking about feet [Music] dude bart what are you teaching this guy you told him that that's a butt cheek i don't know this guy's a mine of his own man i heard that brother hey guys

14:51 death penalty yes or no hey both you said butt oh classic butter butter is it over for us is this the last episode of jk probably nope you're a snack man oh we're that's what he said we're stuck here i thought he said nope you're a snackman that's my thought too iceman snackman i do i like snacks tacos so you could speak spanish can you say something in spanish um salad salad salad filled spanish four times it's ensalada but how do you say apple in spanish no i think my name is

15:44 do you like to dance no i know i guess my book taika what is one word of advice that you would give to your younger self boy wow nice gotta eat your vegetables you guys gotta eat your vegetables to be healthier why he doesn't eat his vegetables at home no he does saka do you wish you were a big brother i i had a baby brother right to care for me who's your baby brother do you remember you you you take care of your your baby you talking about comment yeah ben carl you got baby oh cause they kept saying that this baby's his little brother oh psycho who what's your which one's your favorite asian gang [Laughter] even he likes that question watching asian boys what about the cool boys boys

16:41 do you want a baby bro do you want a little brother a little sister a little butt well can you do it guys he's so funny dude i will end up with one last question what's the last question we're going to finish tyco remember you told me that you want to get married no i don't yeah but you didn't but you don't want to get married to a girl right nope i know but you can't who are you gonna marry who are you gonna marry and don't say a butt because we already know you're probably married nope nope who are you gonna marry who no you're not gonna no you don't want to marry a boy or you're a married girl never i like this but i went to the belly i make sense right now you want to work on take it from me you get married you ████ lose yourself self love i'll never get married i want

17:31 to keep this belly thank you for tuning into this episode of matchy we'll see you guys next time hey real quick last question actual last question okay so jk you know we love each other we love this this room but we're trying to go younger how do we reach you guys like in the demographic that's true how do we reach your friends yeah how do we change how we make you guys want to tune in every time connected to friends we know we know what we got to do stop mocking us like like how do we connect your generation yeah we feel too old and out of time what do we got to do for you to like us like this make you want to tune in every time [Music] kissing butts oh kissing bus we got

18:24 did you cut it [Music] you

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