0:00 when I was a chubby little kid I will never forget this he's sitting at like the head of the table that's where my dad is in a small kitchen so I pick up my plate put in the sink I start walking to the living room in order to go hang out he puts his hand on my belly he stops me hey you know why I can eat whatever I want I don't get fat I know when to stop eating dang didn't even look me in the eye go back to his meal [Music] ████ in another beepo episode of am I the beepop for making my daughter take a break from going to her best friend's house because the mom purposely bought her a smaller size dress let me tell you about it about 2 weeks ago my 14-year-old daughter Bonnie was out shopping with her best friend Gigi and gig's Mom Lauren while they're out Lauren bought
0:50 them both dresses she thought were cute except she bought Bonnie a size three Bonnie said she picked out one that was her size which was larger but Lauren put it back and said that the size 3 one would be her aspirational dress yo Dam that's tough when she came home she gave it to me and was upset but also didn't want to say anything bad about gig's Mom which I get first off Bonnie is a healthy girl gymnastics until she was about 11 and grew several inches dance in the fall and track in the spring all her choices so she's got an athletic build Gigi is a small girl barely 5 ft and so I thought at first she got the mixed up she told me that Gigi's mom got it for her to Aspire to try to get into by working hard I said
1:41 I'd take care of it and get her the right size the next day I called gig's Mom Lauren and asked her why she would do that she explained that she thought it would give Bonnie something to work towards because she heard Bonnie saying she didn't get asked out last year but Gigi had several boys after her and that it seemed like it upset her I told her it was inappropriate and asked her why she would tell a kid she needed to lose weight in order to get attention from boys she got defensive and said that it was obviously embarrassing for Bonnie to not have boys into her when all her friends do she basically said I'm har truths in the way man damn she basically said I'm holding Bonnie back from growing up like I won't help her with boys won't drop hundreds at Sephora still dress her like a kid and buy bath and Body Work sprays
2:31 instead of fancy perfumes she said it's messing with Bonnie socially and that she's the only one in her friend group who hasn't had a boyfriend brother then she got personal and said just because I've given up and stopped trying doesn't mean I have to turn Bonnie into a nun she's got to fight the mom how old is she she's got the mom's got they're 14 she got she got a scrap with the mom scrap the mom doesn't say how old they are are they said they're 14 no I heard 11 oh yeah 14 yeah yeah you're right oh okay no cuz uh gymnastics till 11 yeah yeah yeah okay for the record this is partially true about her giving up but it's also because Bonnie doesn't want that stuff I've offered to get her more than Cetaphil skin care and she doesn't want it she got straight a last year and I took her to Ulta for a spree okay pause as a 14-year-old you don't need ████ skin care yeah you have
3:22 Flawless skin don't need skin care at 14 years old what are you doing anyway sorry think acne and ████ that's different different that's like a hormonal situation she just needs to go carnivore that's it Jordan Pearson did it look at him did that will fix it sorry that like triggered the ████ out of me no you would have perspective more than anybody Jesus unpause yeah thank you she got straight a last year and I took her to Ulta for a spree and all she wanted was some lip gloss and then asked for the body spray instead I said that it's time for a break the girls can still hang out but I don't want Bonnie at Gigi's house Bonnie got upset over it and I can deal with that Gigi's mom however has gone nuclear over it spreading poison everywhere she can about me being psycho and doubling down on how her mom just sounds like a mean girl honestly she sounds she sounds like a ████ dude yeah she sounds like one of
4:13 those like her mom's a ████ yeah you know how like some I mean moms develop their daughters to be kind of like them right she sounds like one of those like she's been a TR trophy white pageant mom kind yeah bro like the fact that she's basing this girl's popularity and growth based on boy's attention brother if if I was the dad I'd be so mad but there's I think the truth is in the middle I'm sure it is but she's also 14 you got to let her grow up She said that Bonnie got upset about that herself I mean there's pressure from her her peers and like her school I'm sure but it's like regular teen ████ it's 100% got to work that out though like that's at that age where like you're kind of in this weird space whether it's a boy or girl yeah they're in that stage where they're like oh I don't know who I am like all my friends are getting girls
5:04 whatever but then like to base your whole like 14 yearold self on attention from boys and who's to say that that there aren't guys who like the athletic girls yeah well the question is why are moms involved anyway why are we spending $100 on perfume and stuff moms can be involved the other person's Mom shouldn't be involved at that level I yeah she's making decisions for this girl it's part of maturing for you to feel things like insecurities and jealousy or envy that your friends are having XYZ it's for you to develop or figure those things out it's not for your friend's mom to be like here's an aspirational you get smoked you got to get smoked yeah but can you see okay the perspective of two different philosophies like one is more like I'm not materialistic I'm not going to be
5:54 all prettied up whatever and then you have the other mom where she sees it as like a part part of femininity like she's like I can't believe your mom gave up and she doesn't want to like be beautiful and then she's like poor girl you can do makeup with my daughter and me and then your mom doesn't do any of this stuff like I can kind of see that too but you got to ask for for permission when it comes to something that really goes into something that is like that is very personal yeah she's taking initiative in a way that she thinks it's Superior and better yeah yeah cuz she's she's judging the mom how did your mom handle handle this type of thing M I was a little I was definitely more reserved growing up I I had to get permission for like certain makeup or certain like clothing or you know nothing was too revealing um but I think my mom was
6:45 logical enough to know okay she's getting to an age where boys are looking at her and she is you know having a boyfriend and stuff like this but it was my mom never pressured me or there was never this um I guess perspective of what being feminine was supposed to be like ladylike sure like being classy sure but like being pre I think Society is different now too like the Sephora culture and the makeup culture nowadays and like girls want to look like they're already 25 when they're 14 and the plastic surgery and and the social media I think that is like a whole another psychological development now but um have you seen the whole thing where gen Z's look older than Millennials that's crazy yeah it's wild but the thing is like like it's like if uh and again I'm as if I was a mom or something like that in the similar situation there's a
7:35 difference between like you know like being like Oh yeah here why don't you why don't I take you girls out for some makeup and everybody gets it everybody wins versus dangling a carrot and being like let me buy you this dress but like you can't F to frame it like that is insane wild bro and also isn't the point to make her feel included in those things now you're buying the thing that other girls are feeling included by maybe one day you'll fit in this damn okay I'm picturing this mom being a ████ bimbo right and and she in her mind there's only one way to think about it she sees her she goes clearly boys don't like you because you're fat that's what she's thinking in her head right and because in their world women are hot in only one way yeah that's your only value which is like or like it's their
8:25 only value and you got to be thin like a lot of them they actually don't know what guys like physically MH but they have an image of what they think guys like and they think guys like super thin like you ever meet like those stage moms and all those like like trophy wives and all that like the way they think guys like is just ultra thin like women that are full of plastic but that's not the reality I mean it can't be at age 14 yeah cuz she going to she going to grow she's going to develop she's going to change like just let her but I do agree that like if you're fat that's a problem when you're a kid you get and we also don't know mad smoked if you're fat we ALS we also don't know if she's fat cuz she plays sport I think it's pretty clear like I'm going to be the first person to say it sounds like she's fat does it though because it says she's in well I don't know it's the amount of
9:16 justification makes the sound like she's fat the amount of justification say she's athletic but she's a ████ powerlifter like come on dude if she's a little overweight then bro she's 14 you got to let her like develop you know mean and also even if she is overweight I don't think you should ever say here's a size three hopefully one day you'll fit into this that's not how you handle that that's not how you handle that but then I do remember there's an age that every kid gets to where sometimes they don't they're too shy to voice their true concerns to their own parents and other parents end up knowing more about how you really feel so that's why I think the truth is in the middle I think she is kind of sad about the boy thing about the weight thing but the mom is like in denial about it cuz she's never heard that but I don't think that communication lines not open but for a mom for another mom to do that to another kid is wild so if if you start bro if you start with that you're
10:06 already unreasonable you're already kind of like your judgment is off right as a parent to another that's why I think she's a dumb bimbo yeah like that's why I think she's thinking poor girl let me help you and she's probably doing a favor for her I think that's where she's coming she thinks she knows best and also on a deeper level you're instilling into this young girl that your only value is how you present yourself in your looks because and then that's the only the only way boys are going to like you can't do that to a girl I'm not saying it's not important to have a healthy you know body and and to present yourself in a certain light but at the end of the day like that's your only value this is what we're going to like harp on on what's important have you seen have you guys seen Charlie Bartlett the movie it has a really good section where like basically he's so concerned about being popular and then everyone all the adults in his life are always
10:56 telling them there's more to life than that there's more to life than that but then because he's a teenager he's like like what like he doesn't understand because right now that's what's most important and he can't see past it but it is true like if how do you navigate if a girl who's like you know she's not as thin as her friend not as good-looking doesn't get as much attention is actually verbally saying what can I do about this how do you navigate a way to help her that's not going to destroy her in the future you know get her get her a small dress get her really small let her watch she's all that you start showing her great Hollywood take off the glasses and [Laughter] misong geniality she's all you got to show her they you're going to show her those things should be like those people are all old you just got to go Hawaii stop but you know what I'd rather have my daughter struggle a little bit in her teen years and then flourish into a more
11:47 well-rounded woman that's the slow Bild bro the slow build is the best build be like you know what you're going to hate me now my mom probably did this to me but in the future you're going to have some morals to stand behind cuz you got to eat your ████ you got to eat your ████ no matter who you are bro some balls ████ and unless you're Nick you're not going to find your ████ high school sweetheart and marry them it's a very rare yeah we got lucky just do it Hawaii stuff the mom just walk up to her like colani what you say to my daughter just start fighting ████ yeah start fighting he you ████ up yeah don't talk to my ████ daughter dog and then they just fight and then the the other ones come up to be a fighter you know what I mean but boys boys slightly different yeah boys slightly different I can see and I was when I was a chubby little kid I will never forget this I still kind of thank my dad for this you served your time yeah yeah all I know is
12:38 one time I finished eating dinner right and he's sitting at like the head of the table that's where my dad is in a smallest kitchen which means the doorway is right here next to me right so I pick up my plate put in the sink I start walking to the living room in order to go hang out he puts his hand on my belly he stops me hey just stops me and he goes you know why I can eat whatever I want I don't get fat I know when to stop eating Dang A wise man didn't even look me in the eye back to his me ████ yo Asians are ████ ruthless when it comes to weight though but guess what that was your dad that wasn't someone else that's what I'm saying when did you when did you lose but the I don't know I don't it's not that I like lost it right away it's that I'll never forget that and I still know that to this day so anytime I like
13:29 you know cuz everything is a SE like a pendulum anyway once I go too far on the other side of the pendulum I I hear my dad and then I go okay correct yourself I thought it was the time that you were playing basketball and you called that other kid fat that was on the extreme end of the pendulum that was before my dad put his hand on my belly and that kid was like K like what I'm you're fatter than we were just two fat kids arguing and I was the fatter one and he look back and you're like oh ████ I'm fatter
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