0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys careful careful boys the most safest space on youtube heavily sponsored and welcome back to ryan thank you hey ryan why why the hell do you always get texted randomly by strangers i don't i get i get weird dms but oh is it dms or this time someone i don't know like texted a wrong number and it came to me was it wrong what do they say you know what i was back and forth then i think it really was a wrong number this person just said dinner and then sent me two photos one of a bowl pasta and the other of like a completed eaten bowl of chocolate was it did this person i didn't finish your
0:50 stories but did this person ever reveal their face no they never did would you say in return i said breakfast and then they said what do you want for breakfast and i sent them a picture of a uh spam and oreo mcmuffin which i didn't know the china one yeah you know about that yeah we did a jk news on it what did you google weirdest breakfast in the world yeah i just i just put a weird mcdonald's breakfast it was like spam and oriole sandwich yeah and then we just went on this rabbit hole of a weird-ass conversation i was just trying to my objective was just to figure out how to get a photo of this person or something and they and they wouldn't do it i was like oh wha uh how what's your hair did you get a haircut like you know stupid questions and then they sent me a floor of the back of their head and i was like what what did you get bangs what does it look like it was like a girl's head oh and then they were like what do you look like and i sent a photoshop version of hawk to make them look like a bald black guy and they were just like you look so
1:41 great and i was like who the ████ is this person this person's weird do you think it was one of those scam texts i think eventually then they're like oh this one's playing i think because a lot of times we we all get ████ scammed people though i feel like it's one of your homies yeah dude i don't know what is it for it's just so rare for that to happen like that never happens in years to me dinner what do you mean dude one of my favorite things because uh if you're on telegram if you're in anything crypto ever um you you get all kinds of scam like like phishing attempts and ████ and so one of my favorite things to do is i'll get like a it's always like an attractive girl thumb now that hits you up and so he's like hey like you know what's going on and i'm like i don't know i'm just looking for somebody to give all my crypto too [Laughter] but i need to have a girlfriend a real girlfriend capitalize real
2:31 like they're probably like weirded out a little bit like real what the ████ is that and then i'm like okay look i only trust very few people in this world i need a real girlfriend though and like you've been good to me like you've been good you're just trying to project all these kids yeah exactly i got a weird one it was like uh this came in like maybe last week they're like hey i'm your like coinbase account manager and it said that you wanted to sell all your bitcoin and i don't even have bitcoin on coinbase it's like i want you want to sell all your bitcoin on coinbase and this alerted our system so i just wanted to make sure that this is indeed the price that you want to sell it at uh so to do that please log into this link oh my gosh dude they love getting with the links yeah oh i got i got a good one you would have loved because you would have ████ with this guy it was like a guy damned me i think he said he was in pakistan and then somewhere along the line i i could tell he was trying to
3:21 sell something he's like but i'm actually from india jokes on you in the dms he's got an accent so then he's like talking to me and i said i remember i said i'm just having a conversation with this guy at some point i said oh we're gonna anger the gods whatever and then he started when i said gods then he went down this huge uh thing of like he posted like a big a prayer to allah like between us because of that and he was like oh we must praise allah blah and then he was like so do you want to buy some sportswear from me and i was like oh like is it okay if i'm jewish and then he goes the jew shall never be forgiven oh ████ and then he goes tell me what kind of sportswear you would like just jump over that statement real quick are there any yiddish teams i don't know he goes he goes i can make sportswear of anything he goes send me a picture like what you want i sent him a picture of a ████ uh rabbi costume from like halloween so outlet and he goes what
4:13 size what fabric he's a capitalist and i'm like you can make this and he's like yeah anything i was like dude but you won't be freaked out but he was like a sweatshop he's like he's like this is unforgivable how much do you need the number of units and all this ████ and i wasn't going to go that far daddy's going legit so he's a sweatshop owner yeah he's like sportswear what do you want a jersey oh your basketball team yeah eddie i found his line apparently and he still was okay with it damn he's trying to hustle he would have made a sports wear out of a rabbi costume dude can you what do you make of unforgivables and it probably was a hundred unit minimum so i went through it what would i do with audrey would he make a dreidel that's probably where he's like no he's like no dreidels the does he know maybe he just thinks it's like some guy's code you should have made a jewish sports outfit like the the flaming hanukkahs or something and it's
5:03 like it's like the candles with the fire but like you know like this kind of fire you know and then it's like brought to you by flaming hot cheetos yeah it's like the miami heat it's the candles yeah but it's the candle it's all aggressively burning and ████ legit one of the funniest things and this is so disrespectful and horrible i was careful boys careful boys i was at her i was at this chick's house and she was a high school friend and like her family was doing hanukkah and she was like you should come to my hanukkah i think she's like invited a bunch of us so i go there and i've told the story before i'm surprised years ago whatever uh they had their menorah and they were lighting it up for like the fourth night or some ████ so they have the first second third fourth night her grandfather's lighting it up got to be ████ 80 years old right and then um their dog gets like the mom goes ah yeah and then the door open the dog runs in the room and
5:54 his tail's wagging and he puts out all the ████ candles on the menorah he's immediately like literally like not even 20 seconds after the grandfather finished lighting them yeah and then this entire jewish family just watches the menorah being put out and like destroying like this entire world and the dog's like yeah just like and then i started just ████ laughing my ass off like uncontrollably laughing like wheeze laughing because it's like a big lebastic moment it was like insanity yeah exactly and i couldn't stop laughing i was laughing sorry i couldn't ████ breathe but it was horrible because your grandfather was there all these people there not one other person was laughing it was just you just me oh no apparently i didn't do that bad because i ████ her like five years later oh oh it took five years let's go dude maybe the grandpa's like no for five years
6:44 oh no he didn't make it he didn't make it he didn't make it five years that's why she had to wait no for five years he didn't make it it's like a final story five years dude there's a dog he's like over my dead body five years later over his dead body at the funeral did the dog make it oh i never saw the dog again oh damn there you go was it a golden retriever they've been showing up a lot on my feed they don't last long bro i think that's like eight years max fran is because they're so pure no offense to anybody who has goldie but give him a little hug for me that's a good time i think eight years yeah it's like a lease you know you want to exit quicker you don't want them too long i think that's pretty good i wish kids didn't grow over eight i think that's pretty good they didn't grow over eight you wish they stayed eight is what you're saying they could die at eight oh i seriously have they just look eight forever i want a great depression family oh yeah what
7:35 does that mean like what is that everyone just kind of dies fast of the iron lung or whatever whatever it is typhoid fever or stock market crash suicides whatever you know the good old the good old malnutrition now okay yeah it's been enough time stock market crash that was 1930 whatever how about that stock market hey we just have a lot of kids some of them don't make it you know some of them make out with each other that's the thing about uh yeah the great depression was steve too much bro why would you say that sorry man uh you know just something about sisters and just yeah you're right watch the patreon to find out what to find out the real deal between see how me and my sister are doing any quick updates what's the point has your sister ever come across any of the videos she has no idea about this bit no
8:26 it's not a bit but she doesn't know what's public she don't know i've been doing this bit for years she's actually funny too because i was just at my sister's place and it was her it was um my old man's birthday and then her daughter's birthday but then i was buying entities in her living room and i was just like yo everybody shut up i gotta ████ do this ████ and then but then i actually had it run across my head real quick because some of my crypto corner people were reminding me that like i have this joke about ████ my sister like super hard yeah super awesome reputation in every circle you've ever been in uh no it's a newer runner that i've done well if they watch jk news they're a part of the joke um but yeah no that's part of the problem but that's the whole thing is like i yeah i was in her actual living room and being like oh yeah i do this thing about ████ my sister a lot it's crazy um yeah yeah yeah awkward
9:18 no talk over there you had a moment of like real and i'm here i just feel like there's brick walls around all of us so we can just ████ do whatever you have do you have like a a defense strategy like just in case she does call you out on it unless you have a sense of humor she knows me too well to ever even think like what if you guys were at in and out with your family and then like you come across a jk fan while you guys are eating double doubles he goes so this is the sister you've been ████ honestly knowing our fans they do ████ like my sister wouldn't laugh necessarily but she wouldn't um be surprised really that's how hard you troll your family you'd be surprised if you found out she was making the opposite joke i would literally die of a heart attack but you'd be proud of her i ████ yeah i would love it but as you're dying of a heart attack honestly that's the best way to go but
10:09 but no she um she's just so straight laced there's no ████ way everywhere where does a sense of humor come from then if it's because it sounds like the way you tell your family story they're so serious they're very serious they're very introverted every one of them is the most introverted ████ you ever met in your life bro ever the most introverted ████ and they're serious as hell my grandfather was the only extrovert he's it but funny people come from funny families like they have a sense of humor no or or funny painful family a marriage that's kind of weird that's true then i come from a funny painful family then because it's a coping mechanism too yeah you got it it's dropping you guys out there got marriages that are weird marriages that are weak or not knowing your dad much like i didn't know my dad until i was like you know i moved to san diego when i was like 11 years old
11:00 because my dad was gone all the time my uncle's funny as ████ and then he turns around and beats the ████ out of his kids whoa but they're not kids now they're like traumatized 40 year olds you know what's the biggest rip is seeing my old man treat my uh nieces and nephews like so well i'm like oh yeah they don't even know you and all right cause like they can get a second shot in a wholesome way the first time i saw my uh my dad uh respond to my sister's children like as a grandfather it was just like i was like did you act like this when i was a baby because i'm like i've never seen you smile like this dude it's weird right you smile i'm like you ████ look happy like you care and i love my old man i had my old man marry me and nicky right i love my old man it's not about that but like yeah you know he was a he was a gilly guy like yeah
11:50 he was more stressed out back then yeah exactly so yeah but then i got to know him more when i moved to san diego and he's a stellar and then you start realizing what a pain in the ass you were too of course well you realize the stress they were under you you you can level it all up and trust yourself humanizes everything exactly i watch taika and i'm all like tiger's a good kid but i'm like i'm surprised bart's not kicking him through the whole ████ park right now what did we all say right like last like last three videos ago when we leave jk we go home we don't say a word like imagine like that's your nine-to-five job and like you get home and like of course my dad like didn't show up for like a while like only on sunday he just wants to say shut up yeah who knows what he was going through like at the job yeah and i know actually like some stuff that i i've told you guys off camera that like what he's going through more and so it's like whoa like it's just much different my parents would nap a lot and i'll just be like you lazy sons
12:42 of ████ you have no ████ you don't you don't have play time on the weekends that's why my parents are lazy bro yeah yeah well i know your dad you're not a big fan right no no i ████ around but i mean like they're working hard right but then now i'm like when you're older you just need a nap but then when you're a kid you prioritize play that's your ████ you're just like i can't believe you guys the idea of a nap is so stupid i couldn't wait for my mom to nap i'm like can you sleep from two until 8 pm maybe 8 pm the next day driving now like damn you only got a nap for an hour today god damn it what did you do during your naps no it's just like my mom jackal she's like for six hours my mom's gonna wake up someone invents a device that can just do this for me i was prepared for the military because
13:32 my mom like the way she raised me was nuts like there's a way to eat it was almost like ████ behavior school like behavior matters school like there's a way to eat a gentleman eats like this like 90 degrees so i'm constantly being corrected like imagine having like four c's or milan's like you like if i'm if i'm watching tv she goes if i'm like watching tv like this she'll come and just smack me is that how you watch tv watch tv with their back straight like everything has like a ████ yeah everything has a specific way of doing things and when i come home from school there's extra homework like there's just extra ████ that i'm doing all the time so it was like if she can be out of my hair for an hour then i'm like oh my god i could just ████ just lay like this that's all you want to do my mom first came over uh when i was
14:22 like moved out when i was 19 and all my friends were like watching uh like tv like just hanging out on the couches my mom would come and she was like do you hang out with savages i'm like that's car relaxing like we're ████ hanging out because for her it's like everyone should be watching tv like a british gentleman yeah and she's the same lady that ████ farts at my boy scout me so i'm like she's a hypocrite yeah it's crazy it's the worst crime you can commit is being the hipster farted at the party on purpose no like we had like a parent we had and then um like all the parents sat in chairs and then so the kids were sitting around and my mom swears it was an accident but she just went like this and like lifted one butt cheek and she farted plastic and of course everyone
15:14 knows like whose parent is who's you know everyone starts laughing busting up and i just my face just turned so red i'm like oh my god why does my mom have to do this where's her back at 90 degrees though yeah probably she's like you're gonna laugh at me laugh like a gentleman like a jumper she act like it wasn't her though i don't even know if it registered to her that it it's not okay oh wow oh i think it might have just been like oh that's a butt burp person so sit up straight and then rip out that's why like it's her whole life she's a distinguished person who farts in public yeah her rules have been so ████ weird and i think it was so hard for me to follow it's so funny i thought it was the mother and son fartoff dude that's a big event boy she's made up of her own prestigious like thing like she just made up her own etiquette yeah like every like even though i'm
16:04 watching that's not chinese culture no one even knows what it you can't watch tv you're polluting your ████ mind and then there's like ████ van damme doing the splits and she's like what's that i'm like uh it's martial arts oh martial arts good you can continue watching this and then she's like bombs away he's backing straight so it's like everything it's like i know it's been ████ i'm like wait so i can't watch wwe but i can watch this so it's just weird navigating you are the way you are there's no instructions for all this ████ yeah it was weird navigating made ████ up dude moms are conditional as ████ he's ████ nuts his mom's ████ weird navigating that world so when she was tired i'm like oh you are tired aren't you yes but
16:55 she's like you have to sleep right hand under your face left hand over here that's ████ crazy no she wanted you to look like buddha statue what the ████ you need to sleep like siddhartha don'ts this saggit stage sleep like a ████ uh uncivilized demon i feel like your mom is uh is like asian mom times a hundred yeah cause like i think every mom wants you to have better posture yeah but what she does is puts it on steroids where no one under like when bart has these stories of his childhood like you know asian mom stuff and we're like nah that's not i don't know because if i am sitting a certain way my mom would correct my posture be like you're gonna ████ up your back like that but i think that's normal for most parents right there's little but then like the fact that they want you to do it
17:48 like this on a couch what she wants is like if she comes in she wants you to levitate like a ████ general like all the homies going oh shoot attention like that's what she wants you know like but that's not even chinese culture she's making that ████ up at that point all the homies should just do that you should tell your friends every time your mom comes in shoot dude she'd probably buy everyone dinner you know what she probably watched she watched sound of music i remember those ████ paid attention when the dad came home she wants that ████ dude it's not even chinese music i mean a culture literally appropriating white culture i know she just watched sound of music and she's like that's how i want my family to be like and she just invented ████ she's a she's a pioneer she invented a family she definitely coined that the fact he had to sleep specifically she yeah she saw a buddha and he saw his ████ statue she goes
18:38 that's how everyone should sleep because buddha's sleeping that way do you sleep like that ████ though but she she actually still sleeps like that though which is crazy she still sleeps she trained her body to sleep that way that's sick i saw a minority with an acoustic guitar singing the hills are alive and i was like you get the ████ out of here [Laughter] that's literally my ████ people's song dude [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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