0:00 I'm just going to spray pepper spray on him just for the ████ OF IT. WELCOME. THAT'S LIKE Welcome back to another episode of the careful boys where let's just watch some body cam footage and then we'll create [laughter] What a great start to the day. Police, police, help me. Can we just watch some body cam footage where like everything goes cool, everything's like a fun time. Hey officer, good morning. Where everyone cool have a great day. Here's my license. This is in response to a stolen car. Uh this is the car owner of a stolen BMW. What? What up? Uh I got my car stolen. From here? Yeah. Okay. I got here at 3:00
0:50 uh quarter to 3:00 All right. and I came back down here at 3:00 3:30 and it was gone. Quick report. We'll jump ahead a little bit. He left the keys in the cup holder. Okay. Next guy. I didn't see him get into it. Uh it was a guy probably maybe 30 years old. Uh It wasn't his car? No. Uh I kept looking at him cuz he asked me if I had a light. I was like there's no way he's driving a BMW. Would you be able to identify that guy if you ever saw him again? >> Yeah. Okay. He's a 30-year-old white male? >> white male uh shoulder length hair Blond? Blond. >> Blond? Yeah. He looked a little bit like me when I was younger. Uh he kept asking for a light and I was like how in the world does he have a BMW if he doesn't have a light for a cigarette? >> Okay. Blond, shoulder length hair. Yep. This is This is the guy now. 120 miles
1:41 an hour and I swear to god Oh. OH, NO. I GOT IN THE CAR. I DON'T KNOW. I TELEPORTED OR SOMETHING. >> Where'd you get the car from? >> I don't know. I don't know. He said he was on the east side. I don't know. I teleported. Officer, where'd you last This was teleported? Honestly, I believe him. He teleported. Wait, did you come from bicentennial park? He came from there. Bicentennial >> So, he came from Appalachia. They told me the X-Men did it. Okay, but the dog park? I don't know. X-Men told me that I don't do that stuff. I don't even know what he's saying, dude. I think he said the X-Men told me to do it. He did. He said X-Men told me I don't do that stuff. I teleported. I don't know how I got there. I teleported in the car. What a freaking maniac. Yeah, is this guy ████ like manic or man Well, he was looking for a
2:32 lighter cuz he probably wanted to hit that meth pipe. Damn, this guy is crazy. >> you think? That's very method man. >> [laughter] >> Damn, that guy is cuckoo, man. Yeah, so but I want to see if there's a dash cam footage like of like do people do that with of him teleporting? No, dash cam of like [laughter] guys like of themselves driving. They don't do it unless they're like a Uber driver, huh? Oh. Oh, like inside cabin? >> Yeah, cuz I wish I saw that like first that last 10 seconds of like He's like Professor X told me to do this. [laughter] And then he's like he's got to get to like 60. What's the thing in Back to the Future? What's he doing? 88. He's got to get to 88. Then you just take off. It must have been a very nice neighborhood where the guy just left his key in the cup holder. Yeah. And then he just left the door unlocked. So, a guy just Oh. He must have been like ah, no
3:23 one else is around here but other whites. He's like I don't see any teleporters around here. >> [laughter] >> Before I leave my keys in here, anybody can teleport? Any time travelers around here? >> [laughter] >> And this guy teleported into the teleported to MY BMW TODAY. >> [laughter] >> I HATE THAT. I hate when they teleport. I bet he said Professor X told him to do it. >> [laughter] >> I'm just going to leave the key. You don't need to tell That is at it again. >> [laughter] >> That car was ████ up. Magneto's car, dude. It's ████ Magneto's car. You think as soon as he touched he didn't die? >> [laughter] >> It sucks that he didn't die. Damn. >> So he teleported and the first thing he wanted was a lighter to light a cigarette. Honestly, dude, if you're a cop, what are you going to say to that?
4:13 I don't know. I teleported. >> Are you taking students? Cuz when I when I look at that guy's eyes and he says he teleported, I believe that he thinks he got teleported. I believe that that [laughter] happened. >> For sure. You know what I mean? I think you just got to ████ cuff his ass and just throw him in the back and figure it out later. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is that like a Is it schizophrenia or is it more like multiple personality where where someone takes over? Schizophrenia. Yeah. So it's like a different I don't know. That could have been like Tom B or some ████ like that and he's like Tom A, right? And then like it was his other self that stole the car and then he ████ drove. >> Oh, then he switched back. >> Cuz he said he didn't know what happened. After the accident he's like, what the ████ I teleported. Cuz if you really believe that >> broken, dude. And as [laughter] the guy asking the question like what happened, he paused. He was like, you teleported.
5:03 He was like, uh, that's my new ████ like if I get caught doing something, I'm just going to tell someone like, oh, dude, I just teleported here. I just got here. I don't know what happened, man. That is a good alibi. >> What year is it? You're still going to get in trouble. It ain't going to fly. It's just going to be a funnier day for the cop. Maybe you have a little like second where you say that and then you're like, I don't know, I just teleported here. And then they pause and then you run. And then you sprint for the woods. And he goes, NOW I'M TELEPORTING AGAIN. IT'S A STUN GRENADE. YEAH, it's like look over here. >> he gets caught and he's like, I don't know what happened. >> [laughter] >> How did I get over here? I thought I was standing there. The first thing you should have said is what year are we in? That's what I thought if he knew what he was talking about. >> That's time travel. Yeah, he said he teleported. >> Yeah, teleport is different, like jumper. He does look weird. That fool was wearing like a woman's jacket. >> Wait, or it could be a looper situation
5:54 cuz the guy did say he looked like me when I was younger. >> [laughter] >> That's his younger self? And he's trying to tell him >> It's like him if he got into drugs like in another life. >> [laughter] >> And when he when the guy was giving description to the cop, I was like when he was asking for a light in my head I was thinking like how could he afford a BMW? In my head I was like that's weird. I was like You're judgmental, dude. And then right when I saw the guy I was like oh, I know what you mean. I'm sorry I jumped the gun. He doesn't look like he could afford one. >> That is a funny thing to think. Like so a guy who does who has a BMW can't just not have a lighter in that moment. And he looks like a bum. Yeah, he looks like a bum. And then you see him and you're like oh, yeah. His eyes are like Because the newer cars don't come with lighters anyway, right? Who cares a lighter anyway, you know? A meth smoker. A cool guy does. No, they got like a little pipe. Don't they have like little burners? Little propane
6:45 ones? The torches? The torches, that's what it was. Okay, well let's say he really was a teleporter. Where did he come from and can we just freeze on the the way this guy looks because he looks like somebody that was time traveling and then like he wasn't supposed to be there. >> I think he was wearing Members Only. Oh. Can we look at his fit? His fit looks very like '80s. >> teleported from very far away. He still is American. >> [laughter] >> God damn, this guy looks ████ up. >> He looks like Willem Dafoe. Like he doesn't look like a scientist. Oompa Loompa hair. Yeah. There's this guy that Ryan sends me on Instagram. Okay, he looks mad. >> he's like this like 40-year-old guy in Mexico and he says he looks like a teenager. And this guy always sends me his videos. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, he he looks
7:35 like the older version of him, dude. He looks like a real weirdo. It's it's he looks It's Willem Dafoe, dude, before he was the Green Goblin. >> I wonder what he was thinking the second before he crashed. >> Is that a I don't think his brain thinks. >> [laughter] >> I think he was just like in the last part of the acceleration before he was going fast and he was like ████ floating smooth. >> dude got mad lucky. How often are you like a meth head that comes in the like comes across a guy leaving his keys in the cup holder in a public parking lot? Like who who really Have you ever done that? Have you ever left your keys in a cup holder in public? >> No, cuz I grew up in LA. Yeah, that's a strange >> other places, I think it's probably normal. You know You know in the movies, they go in the car, right? And they always pull down the visor and the keys fall out. But I think in LA >> ain't like vehicles, dude. >> But I think in LA it's like so much crime, we're not used to that.
8:25 >> What are you cutting out that's in public? >> understand why Why is that easier than putting it in your pocket? >> Yeah, I don't get it. Maybe you're wearing short shorts and you got to look good. Oh, yeah. I didn't think about how how good you have to look. Nah, dude. This is Maybe because it's those like key fobs and you just don't want to take it out of the cup holder where it's at. >> Oh, I guess. It must be a big enough deal to make all the new cars like keyless entry and stuff, right? People just don't want to deal with it, I guess. >> Yeah. Damn, dude. Well, Did he hit another car cuz it's usually these crackheads that stay alive and then they destroy like a ████ family and ████ >> hit another car, um but Oh, yeah. That sucks when that happens. That car is obliterated, dude. That would suck if he hit another family. Shut the ████ up.
9:15 He said they're going 80 mph? I think he said 130, but I don't know. Where did you get the car from? I don't know. I teleported. Yeah, he really did teleport his brain. Then we also must know that he's not in control of his powers. So, either Professor X did send him and it's like one of those punishments, you know, like like he just got sent. Cuz he Otherwise, he would know. Or he would teleport out of this situation if he was in control. >> Does the crack teleport into his system? >> [laughter] >> Hey, how much of it do you think it's a CIA mind control where they're like he's a Manchurian candidate? Yeah, we're just like let's just see how much we can make K Ultra. >> Yep. >> [laughter] >> That's what this is. They're just testing it. Don't give Don't give them ideas for new alibis. He's fried, dude. His brains are donezo.
10:05 Who's Biden's there? He had to be on drugs too because if you get a car accident like that, like you got to be so like Lucy to like completely survive that still or have a chance. >> amazing what people survive when they're high or drunk. >> Yeah. It's pretty crazy. Cuz it's always like the the normal reaction that puts you in compromising situations. >> all rigid. >> to go limp. Yeah. This guy he was probably from the beginning to the end was like limp and then woke up and was like how did I get here? They should just pepper spray him just for the ████ of it. JUST WALK UP. That's like that's his freaking IQ is that he's he's too dumb to know that like when you hit your head you can't remember ████ He thinks it's teleportation. >> [laughter] >> His that's his best move too. He's like I teleported here. That's that's my explanation. But X-Man. We'll hear him out. That means he
10:55 watched cartoons as a kid. Okay. He had a decent childhood, huh? He's all right. He'll be fine.
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