0:05 Welcome back to Careful Boys. So, uh, Nikki was just at a party with a bunch of gal pals, right? And the gal pals were all saying like after a while when you get married and stuff like that, eventually you stop like making out with your partner and stuff like that. And Nikki's like, "Oh, I me and me and Steve still make out or whatever." >> I knew it. This is one. Love doing the >> I knew it. >> Hang on. >> We just We just ████ Mac in the movie theater. [laughter] >> Perfect. My ████ relationship is >> So, do you The question is, do you still make out with your person? Do you guys still >> Which is you, Steve. >> I don't do it all the time, but I do. I only every hour of the day. >> They say after you get married, your dick gets smaller, but for some reason, >> mine just kept grow. It's like Pinocchio
0:55 down there. [laughter] way bigger >> make I don't I well in g like I'm not a makey person so even in the beginning >> there was >> you told me Joe [laughter] >> only for the ████ >> the that's the second lips >> the second set huh >> I don't no I don't think so um so I mean in the [laughter] answer so serious >> in the beginning >> I stumped them >> in the be in the beginning in the >> [laughter] >> Um, >> so you're not a make outy guy in general. >> I don't think Yeah. Like it's changed all that much >> from like like I think for most people though if you were making Audi in the beginning, you were probably doing it like everywhere in the movies, whatever, whatever. Right. But then I just think
1:45 that's natural. You don't ████ do it at that same rate. >> Nobody does. >> It except for you, Steve. >> No. No, I don't. [laughter] Except for you. >> I just have sex. >> Let's overly >> I just have sex more than ever. [laughter] >> No kissing. >> No. Like Yeah. Like that teenage make out love. Like >> Yeah. Nobody does that for long. >> No. Yeah. >> After a while. I think it's cuz like once you've tasted like So it's like it's like once you've done sex >> Yeah. >> once you got blood jab. >> Mhm. I know it's not making out, but all I'm saying is I just start thinking that might be better. [laughter] >> That's funny. >> I prefer a ████ if possible. >> You're like kissing and you're like >> No, we we're not kissing today. >> Like babe, kissing would be great, but >> actually, >> could you eat my butt [laughter]
2:36 >> to raise you? >> I know it's not the same, but then in the if it's in the world of physical contact, right? >> Yeah. Don't you guys get a hug and you go I rather get a hand job. Oh yeah. When you're getting a hand job you're like [laughter] I'd rather trade it in guy. >> I remember my first time getting a hand job and being pissed that I'm not getting a ████ which was which was crazy cuz >> it just it just shows human nature. >> I want the level. >> How did you already know what you were missing? >> No, no, no. Because I had already graduated from hand job phases and after you have like a couple ████ you just tugging on it. You're like come on ████ Get the ████ down there dude. get the ████ down there. >> You know what I mean? Like it's it's a little boring after you've had So, I get that. >> But it's Yeah. You It's a human condition. You always want the next thing up, >> dude. >> But then if you're going to For me, it's like [laughter] if you're going to make out, you would hope that it ends with
3:27 sex. >> It always does. It should. Yeah. >> But like who I mean, but when you're a teenager, you could just make out and then >> that's okay. >> Yeah. >> You know what it is too? I think making out for a while I equated the exhilaration of making out was partly because you were nervous. >> Oh yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. Cuz you guys aren't that comfortable yet. >> So that the act of it it's like >> Ooh. Exactly. >> Oo. >> Yeah. >> Other I think after that it's something that of course like you you'll make out while you're having sex, but then I think just making out like somewhere was more of like a breach. So apparently apparently that was part of the conversation was they don't make out while having sex. >> Really? >> That's what I'm saying. >> That's how they get into it. >> That's like a That's like a tea off. >> That's crazy. >> They just go right to Munching Bums. >> Yeah, cuz [laughter] me and Nikki don't
4:18 make out unless like it's going to >> Oh, well that's more that makes more sense. >> Yeah. >> Like that. I feel like that's normal. But then like just making out at a movie theater when you're 40 years old. >> I was imagining. Yeah. I was like, I I picture you and Nikki still doing that ████ But I I feel like that's more normal where you don't do that no more. >> But I think making out as the final destination is kind of cool if if like you guys can make it work somehow. >> Yeah. But if I'm making out and I'm not nobody's touching my dick or whatever, I'm going to get pissed off after like five minutes. >> You are at the >> You're a nist, Steve. Let's say like let's say we're in our 50s or 60s or whatever and then I think it's kind of cool if we're like at the movie theater just still making out and then maybe you are grabbing on each other's junk, you know, and you're like, "But this is >> we just want to do that." >> We'll do like a quick little deep kiss like at the door like saying bye or like
5:08 at the airport or whatever, but like usually it's we're doing that cuz we're ████ >> I have a question. Did they used to >> Yes. >> and then they stopped. >> Yes. >> They don't love each other as much. >> Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. May I'll take that back. I just think that you you [laughter] get into a routine. >> It's going to backfire on you someday. >> You you get into a routine of like what you enjoy. Like cuz you're figuring things out when you just have a fresh relationship. You'll try different ████ and you go actually I don't like reverse cowgirl. You're like me either. And then you'll try. >> Yeah. It hurts my quads. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> And then you you'll figure out like your groove. >> Yeah. Totally. And I think maybe people get they know what they like and they're like, "Oh, I like to start off with a doggy and then I end it with a missionary and then that just becomes their routine." >> He figured out early on we don't like 69ing. Like not a bit. Like we just like
5:59 it's just kind of a pain in the ass. >> Yeah. I don't think that's like a thing you end up liking forever. >> Speak for yourself again, Ryan. >> It feels like a high school thing. >> Oh, I didn't try it your way though. That's >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's got to hold you. [laughter] Uh, I try to I me me and Tiff kind of do it as a bit where like anytime we're in an elevator and someone leaves immediately, I always try to grab her and try to make out with her. I think that's a movie. That's cute actually. >> And I always try to make out with her and then she always says stop. She's like stop like ████ no seriously ████ stop. And I go >> this is SA now. >> I'm like all right. Then it's quiet and we don't talk to each other. >> And then you stand on the opposite side of the elevator now. >> And then I'm mad. I'm folding my arms and I'm just like why am I here? >> Stop button and the alarm. >> Are you mad at me? You drive all the way home without a word spoken. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, "Hey, do you still love me?" [laughter] >> She's just scrolling. She's just She's like, "Yeah."
6:49 >> She's on She's on a dating website. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Why are you in Ashley Madison? Like fast as hell. You on that. >> But no, I try to I always That's kind of our joke where I'm just like, you know, >> that's cute. >> Let me munch on your bum. I say that. >> She doesn't really like that though when I say let me munch on your butt. >> She doesn't like that. She think she doesn't think she laughs but she's like >> from the one who likes to actually go up your butt. >> Yeah, I know. I know. I know. >> We We always make out if we're having sex. >> Yeah. >> I think that's part of it. >> That'd be crazy not to >> That's what she Nikki couldn't believe cuz these people are like, "No, we don't do that while we're having sex. We just like we just have sex." >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> Cuz then it feels more like I don't know. At least for me, it feels more transactional. Like it's like we're just going to put the thing in the hole and just go in and out a bunch of times. So they say you're not supposed to kiss prostitutes or whatever
7:39 >> like pretty women. Do they say that? >> That's a great reason to explain to your wife why you're not kissing her. >> Cuz that in my head I'm like that's the rule for that. That's why you're saying it feels transactional. >> Yeah. It feels too like it feels sterile. >> Yeah. You can't be intimate with your hooker. >> Only I could do that. >> It's a good thing you're not you're not a makeouty guy. [laughter] >> Yeah, right. >> You'd have been making out with her, too. >> See, that is really crazy, >> right? >> That is really crazy, actually. Almost borderline sociopathic. munching on a on a on a lady's box. No, no, [laughter] I don't think munching on box is that crazy. >> No, but you know what? A lot of guys >> I I heard that like a lot of guys that's what they pay hookers for. >> Intimacy and making out. And I'm like >> it's very human. >> But that's those guys are usually single, right? >> Ones. Yeah. >> They're in depraved relationships of some sort. >> I'm like that's what you have an
8:30 abundance of intimacy and you get a hooker for the stuff that your girlfriends don't do. Some people need a hooker just to ████ have someone laugh at their jokes. >> Yeah, it's really helpful sometimes. >> It's like a therapist in a thong. >> Yeah. Can you tell me I'm funny? >> Hey, you think that's funny, right? [laughter] >> I said it twice. >> She's looking at the clock, >> dude. >> 50 knockknock jokes. Okay. Well, what was their take? Was it like Was it like uh >> It was basically like a debate and Nikki was like, >> "That's weird." And >> Oh, they were like standing by it. They were debating about it. wish that they did make out more or they were like or they're standing firmly. No, this is >> I think they were like it's like um the flame that flickers and goes out types of people >> like that's normal. >> Eventually it goes out and then you're just >> oh yeah, >> but it's also to me >> but they also had kids too. >> Okay. In my head it's also crazy where it's like okay if you're not even making
9:21 out while you're having sex why are you even having sex? >> Right, >> brother. Brother, same. >> That's why I don't think about it. It's like in my head it's like well >> the make out during sex person in general. >> I want to see you have sex. >> I want to see your moves, [laughter] dude. >> Hey, what's your what's your starting what's your like >> cuz I like the whole move. >> I like the holding hands. I like that body touching the skin touching. >> I'm ready. [laughter] >> No. No. You're like this. >> Yeah, that one too. >> Mommy. Mommy. >> Yeah. I like the whole >> I'm clean. Mommy. [laughter] >> And I have a rattle. >> I have a rattle. I like the whole thing. >> Yeah, the whole thing is part of it. >> Mine is I just pull my pants down to my knee and then my and I go like this >> like you're going into surgery and I go I'm ready. >> This is the spot. This is it. >> And then there's we're using >> and there's a blanket so you can't see the surgery. [laughter]
10:12 >> Yeah. And then you know eventually she just had to climb down from from like just laugh it off cuz like you don't want to be the person in the group who's like debating everybody the whole time. So she's just eventually like, "Oh, okay. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. >> I Yeah, I think that's that's definitely more normal. I think like >> I think it is normal. >> No, I think it's very normal that if you if you have a bunch of people in a group and they're all very honest, everyone's going to have tons of different flames that have flickered out. But the point is that the whole thing's not out. You know what I mean? Like ████ changes over time. You can't expect to be ████ the same always. You know, >> people is awesome. I hope that we don't end up like that. >> Yeah. >> That's what I >> cuz in my head it's like how does sex even start if you don't start kissing it? Is it just like I have a boner? Let's do this >> right >> with her mouth [laughter] on my dick. >> What are we gonna do about that? >> Yeah. Oh, that's a good setup. >> Run says run.
11:03 >> Runs advice is that he goes bang bang bang. >> What are we going to do about this? [laughter] >> Try that line next time. >> That's good. That's good. >> Do you have What's your opener? What do you do with Tiff? [sighs] >> Usually it's kissing. That's why it's like your >> warmup, right? >> Do you feel incomplete? Cuz for me, >> if she get a ████ I don't feel I I don't feel like it's complete. Yeah, >> so no matter where the roller coaster goes, there has to be a ████ somewhere. >> I think I'm in on that. >> It's a primer. >> It's like warming up the car, bro. Like >> that's your ignition. >> I mean, it I we'll still do it without, you know, but something is just Man, it's almost like I had a burger, but I didn't have French fries and a Coke. >> Like it's like there's It was good. I had a burger, but I'm still like >> You're on a diet now. Nah, it's like you got a pepperoni pizza, but you didn't have the hot wings and the ████ coke
11:53 on the side. You just had one slice, >> you know? So, you still ████ come from the slice. >> You still come from the slice. [laughter] >> I think because we have a kid, right? [clears throat] So, the schedule and the time to have sex and all that stuff. >> It's tough. It's really hard to squeeze it in. >> So, when we have sex, we have sex and we can't usually order the fries or the coke, you know, and like the super size and all stuff. But when when it does happen, then I go, "Oh, back in high school." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> Back in high school getting ████ >> in the in the car. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Cuz I never I feel like sometimes the it's the circumstance like we're too tired or like the timing or like like if it's in the morning and I'm just like, "Morning wood. I'mma pop it in." Like there's no like, "Hey, can you suck it before I pop it in?" It's like you're
12:43 already sleeping, so I'm putting it in. [laughter] >> You have morning wood, but there's >> Wait, I got >> But there's a four-year-old that comes into the room before you could even >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's a variable. >> What are you guys doing? >> You What are you doing? >> Wrestling. [laughter] >> That's true. >> But I I do think that these conversations though, as soon as I hear like, oh, it doesn't seem like you guys are like a hundred. I don't want to talk. Yeah. >> Like, >> you know what I mean? Like it becomes like this. >> You don't you don't want to dunk. You shouldn't rub it in their faces. >> Well, yeah. Yeah, that's true. >> Or you just say, "You guys are the problem. You're the problem." >> Or anytime that someone's just like unhappy in their rel like they just hate their relationship. What can you really do, you know? >> Yeah, I guess. >> Just talk about how sick your relationship is. How much your
13:33 relationship is better than theirs. >> ████ do it. How come you guys can't? >> We're We're munching butts, dude. >> You got it going on still. [laughter] got it going on. >> Our s███'s crazy now. Ours will be like sometimes there's like two months we don't have sex and then maybe a week and then we have sex like four times in a week or something because it's just crazy schedules. >> It's called stockpiling. >> Being a ████ adult [laughter] >> saving for some winter >> main silo. >> That's why it's out there, brother. [laughter] >> Like lack of intimacy and because you guys are actually Rocky. But there's also the other part where like, no, you guys love each other, but it's just been ████ hectic. >> And it's not like we're in college where we sleep 2 hours, but the puss is still number one. >> Like I remember like I'm sleepd deprived, but if I'm offered, I'm taking it. You know, >> strategy is you ask every day, once a
14:23 day. >> That's really good. >> And it'll still you ask once a day. Can >> you please have sex with me? Please, [laughter] please. >> It's okay. I know you're not feeling well. You know, I remember when uh >> I don't use co right now. >> Yeah, this is a fun [laughter] game. This is a fun game I like to play with Tiffany. Um whenever after as soon as she literally got out of surgery and she's waking up from anesthesia, I'm like, "So, when do you think you're going to be ready to have sex with me?" [laughter] >> Yeah. >> And it's a fun little joke that we have. Joe didn't think that was funny. He thought it was an actual ████ >> What she say usually? >> She starts laughing. >> That's laughing. >> But I'm like, "No, but seriously." >> And her legs are all like ████ >> Yeah. >> She's all >> She's like waking up. Yeah. And it's like she probably doesn't even remember it actually. Uh >> what is that? >> Damn. My joke's probably not that funny. >> It's the No, it's the freaking uh it's the laughing gas because that's a that's a that I like just like saying it. It
15:14 rolls off the tongue. >> I think I got it from you. >> Munching bums.
// end of tape