0:00 [Music] so there's a woman who goes into a goodwill store love goodwill in 2018 in texas i like this you could spend 14 bucks and get a grandfather clock yeah you find some really good finds they have dollar day sales dude or or you don't have to get a grandfather clock and then ████ have to move that thing into your house and it's like all heavy and ████ that's really heavy that's good but it's 14 bucks yeah that's true you can't turn out a good deal and then you hire the movers that are a thousand dollars and help you move the 14 thing in there dude i'm trying to get a pinball machine right now oh that's sick yeah and and i'm like nikki where can i put this and she's like you have to put it upstairs and i'm like i'm not ████ moving out what kind of pinball machine you're trying to get like what's the theme terminator like there's this company called stern
0:51 and they do all these new ones and i'm thinking about i haven't narrowed down to a couple like there's an avengers one there's a ninja turtles one on the side don't know you're into pinball we should go to the ████ pinball i've been let's go yeah i've been there too all right can i tell you a secret yeah so this is what you do you order the pinball machine you find out when it's gonna come to the house the day it comes to the house you leave like two hours early and then you have nikki answer the door hi oh my little girl hands i can't do it one time like geo got them to move like six couches up the stairs jen got another little girl hand she's big no but that nikki is smaller that's true she's a little girl handsome because if you have the minute you have a dude there the dude's like oh okay here's a sign but when a girl opens i can't do nothing don't bring it up make nicki do an accent i can't do nothing in my little hands
1:41 put her in a wheelchair oh yeah put her in the full body get the idea in her veins have her hair just like just rip out pieces of her hair yeah yeah i have stage four i can't with my carpal tunnel i can do messy you want to know you want to know the best goodwill flip every summer buy all of the snowboards and winter stuff that you find at goodwill sell it when winter rolls around and you can make a lot of money this is how you're worth 18 million dollars that's garyvee dude yeah you gotta start somewhere damn right it's like a dollar store garyvee right people get rid of seasonal ████ all the time at goodwill on the wrong season snowboards is the biggest thing imagine ryan are you too bad and he's like so you're wondering how i got all these snowboards i read 29 books a day ryan's a true hodler right there
2:34 all right so check it out so she goes to a goodwill she picks this little guy up this little bust wow all right that looks expensive it's like 10 bucks that ████ looks like ████ augustus or something yeah oh man this is gonna be worth like two million dollars some ████ this was this was looted during world war ii from a ████ museum it's authentic and it ended up at ████ goodwill in texas how nobody knows let's go to goodwill right now let's turn these ████ cameras off you know if this can go from italy to texas then the people in detroit can move you know there it is what's your excuse this guy's not even alive yeah it's a statue he's been stolen dude for the war see i i would love something like this for my house i'm decorating it right but then all these bus are always off white people yeah and it's just weird if a guy have a white man it could be painted yeah paint it we could chisel the eyes
3:25 let me not make the eyes squintier just get rid of the eyelid there's two get rid of one eyelid make it a single yeah you know what just for you i'll do a portrait of myself and marvel and give it to you yeah i'll put it in my little yeah he just wants any asian person yeah what iconic asian person would you like to bust up your mouth michelle you want smell charlie i'm fat ooh chowing on fat but with sunglasses on fast kind of cool and a bunch of doves i'll get loud too daniel we need something like oh you're ████ sunblue i want some little boo give me some blue eyebrows out here give me a that's true because all the modern ass like asian likes like statues are all
4:15 ████ communist dude you know i heard the new dynasty warriors you could play as him you could play his mound then you dinosaur you know what's the problem with if they did make uh old asian busts they just all look racist why i don't know the way they made the man they made him look that way they look like he second guessed it he's like uh the confidence of that answer you want to be these asian kids have you ever had a dream that you that's true they look like they judge mexican kids playing basketball at the park and ████ yeah you know arm's always behind them they're all like you should be doing your homework you know how much how much was that bus worth does it say it's priceless dude it's so ████ they probably got a dollar dollar day sale dude oh here look i just googled smiling asian statues this is a nicer one
5:07 see that one hand's always behind bruh hands always behind that's ████ kim jong-un and kim jong-un ████ ill nice guys nice guys from history it's it's all copper too yeah really that's good kim song and kim jong-un actually any asian statues in l.a bruce lee there's well do you consider buddha there's ████ confucius at the cal state l.a they have a huge statue of recent asians yeah bruce lee there's a daniel day kim said she made that up you can't do a statue of someone who's still alive right it's a bit weird isn't it yeah there's uh there's uh ████ not kim jong-il um yeah bruce lee at chinatown doing the ████ um with the nunchucks there's like a famous japanese dude that guy no he has like a i think he's like a guy that smuggled a camera in the
5:57 internment camps and he took pictures of everything so he's in littleton mr panasana well mr penis [Laughter] this was a 2000 year old sculpture of a roman general uh yeah like i said it's ████ priceless does she have to return it she can't get rid of it why because it's stolen she doesn't she she contacted an auction home in london that confirmed it was this old like first century or statue and then they managed to find the same head and a catalog of items that were in a german museum that was stolen during an attack in the 1920s and 1930s like during the war so it's certified and everything so maybe it was like an american soldier that was like they took it they're like i'm taking this home oh yeah when they stormed whatever yeah
6:50 yeah you know how sometimes you go to a bank you accidentally take their pen yeah that's the same situation situation actually took a bust thousands of years later how did it get it through customs you know i don't know if they had customs back there during the war well they were bringing all kinds of ████ up stuff back like they're bringing back like all kinds of nazi knives and ████ oh the hitler youth knife what's a nazi like it's like nasi lemak but diff little sharper way sharper oh in junior high his dad was uh in world war ii he did the pacific theater and um him and his buds collected a lot of the japanese uh officers swords their katanas so he brought it in wow and i was looking at it i'm all like this is rightfully my ancestors can i buy it from you and he's like let me think about that and i was
7:41 thinking oh ████ i hope he ████ has a little bit of white guilt so he'll sell it to me and then he was like nah that's my dad's and i'm like ████ yeah that's just priceless he wouldn't sell it to me man but you know what's funny though i went to a gun show and they they sell like old world war ii relics and there was a ton of those swords so apparently like they're very common they're common they're just like ████ bayonets did you buy one once you saw how comedy yeah i was like that was junior high bro i wanna buy one my grandpa has one from the ████ korean war dude a sword yeah it's like on his wall and ████ has a ████ dried blood on it there's like a head of a korean man at home yeah put it on his mantel taxidermy of a korean dude his name was he looked at me wrong [Laughter]
8:31 so no they were trying so there's a the germans are trying gonna try to take this thing back the the terms are confidential so that you know nothing it's funny but that german museum stole it from ████ italy so like who's where's it supposed to really native americans should have their land back i know russians imagine trying classic imagine finding out this thing you bought for like 12 bucks is priceless and you trying to give it back to the ████ museum what a nerd move yeah yeah sell it she's probably getting getting paid for it do you think so yeah in that situation you rent you lease it to museums oh yeah they pay you like a thousand that's a lot of the time what they do it's like you don't give up ownership but you're willing to store it in a museum and you get paid like everything in the getty is like that right yep a lot of things aren't yeah she should have made it to nfts and ████ dude yeah yeah exactly or do what they do with sports jerseys which is so ████ up but they they like take a jersey that was
9:22 game used they cut it into a ████ 2000 pieces and they put a little sliver of it on a card and like it's a jersey piece of a jersey she should have just put a ████ usb port in it and then digitize the whole bus people do that stupid i have one of those things i was in germany and i bought a stein like the traditionally made theme for for like beer and stuff and it's like it's like uh lined with like this metal so like when the beer rolls off it tastes really good even though i don't drink but then at the top of it there's a little piece of the berlin wall that's pretty cool see i have that i have a piece of berlin wall too i think everyone knows though yeah it's just a stone it's just a rock yeah yeah do you have anything cool um i've art that i commissioned from my house really malaysian artists wow so sick i support my own people right
10:13 that's awesome like that make caricatures of you like when you walk down the street it's not me it's not uncle rogers he's got a leap there but the dick's still hanging out of it it comes out the canvas to the street artist please be generous when you make my art yes can we see some of the stuff yeah yeah yeah i have pictures i don't know how interesting it is for your audience they'll love it yeah yeah yeah i will custom art is cool man yeah it's only one piece and what about non-customer just buying it at ikea you know like all the art that you can see at ikea like you got that ikea dude like the ████ audrey hepburn black and white ████ hey that's in my house
11:04 the golden gate bridge the golden yeah or the one where the new york but only the taxis are yellow yeah yeah oh god oh the little kid in the roses red he did it i got the schindler's this one with the red jacket but it's the london phone booth i never thought of it as a schindler's list it was inspired by schindler's list wasn't it there's only the red most things in a way are the ████ rope bridge dude yeah oh you gotta see this yeah yeah that's my living room all right can we uh yeah can we show that i don't know you do it yeah it's the one with the big dick i was outside no i'll send it it's like a malaysian coffee mug wow that's beautiful is it a titari cup i don't know i don't know if it's showing up this was commissions specifically for you to own yeah i asked them to paint something for me can i ask you how much
11:54 it costs will it inflate in price i don't think so seven thousand dollars how can we pump this painting man do
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