0:00 the moment that I realized getting my parents approval was worthless was because I kind of like your parents where they're like you have to give like a Chinese girl whatever I was like okay let's say I get with a non-asian chick and we uh have the best marriage ever or I get with the Asian chick and we're fighting every day which one would you rather have me have and I remember my dad going that's impossible he wrote the Asian chick there's just so many things like in line just as impossible were your parents together still at this point no [Music] welcome back to another episode of careful boy today we have geoquan with us to go uh a lot of people are upset because we kind of didn't reach a good I guess
0:50 lesson or a good point or a good answer because we messed around too much basically on just kidding news no do it again one of those where like the topic was good are we ████ up yeah and I think like people were waiting they were waiting for the real answer which we all have we just think it's you know not as funny so we just kept trying to be funny and admittedly we even were like hey we should do that again sometime and just really like be real because there's a lot of actuality in it that people don't have and let's let's give a shot okay why do Asians feel like it's more difficult to date white women all right all right if you grew up in a pretty Asian area and you've dated Asian men and you've observed a lot and you've dated Asian men and it's non-asian
1:41 people that also perpetuate them wait is it specifically white girls or is it just non-asian girls because I've heard about so especially in the early 2000s right like I've heard people say like non-asian girls don't like us I've heard that a lot and then um from guys that don't date in general from guys that don't even have Asian girlfriends and not saying that that's like a lesser or more I'm just saying like they don't even date within the culture but they already have it in their heads that outside of Asians they won't they won't get any girlfriends or whatever and it's usually from guys that grew up in Asian neighborhoods that don't have access and exposure to other cultures I like their sheltered kind of they're so sheltered that they make up these things in their head and it might
2:33 be true for other reasons not because of race but because maybe you're just not you're awkward as ████ bro desirable to women period yeah you know it's not because you're an Asian male because what if you're an Asian male that's athletic and charismatic and all these things women in general like those traits it's not the race that they date it's the individual that they date and desire so then in my head I just couldn't wrap my head around this internal racism but it is true for a lot of people they really feel this way yeah and so like it is a joke because of how Preposterous I think that statement is but it's true for so many ████ people what was the question again it's like why why do Asian why do Asian guys feel like it's more difficult to date white women oh I see I think growing up going back to
3:23 what Joe was saying like it was it was something you would hear all the time that's okay that's that's where I'm at with it I think I think that's a big part of it I think you hear it before you say it about yourself yeah which is a little bit fun and then that becomes your truth that becomes what because people everyone says it that's true and especially at a certain impressionable age where um you just hear it all the time that's what you think is true but like for me growing up um I didn't really grow up with like that many Asian kids you know and like Asian males at least yeah but the Asian males would find themselves like typically more attracted to Asian women you know I don't know if it's because they feel like they had to or that's just like what their preference was so I think that could be maybe it's easier to reach a common ground faster yeah so it's easier to communicate the
4:13 certain values because even me as long as I've been with my wife like there's certain things that I couldn't really communicate culturally like the differences and like articulate it properly because I didn't really like Know Myself yeah so like there are challenges when you are like talking or dating in certain ways but I think a lot of it is like self-inflicted I think it really is like it's a narrative and then if you want to take it a step further to like maybe like Media or movies or things that we we consume so much of what I consumed or so much of what I thought of the world was consumed through TV and media and I thought that's what the truth was like oh white people date white people black people date black people yeah there was very very few representation Concepts like in media about like Asian dudes that were like bagging the White Chicks especially rarely saw except for Bruce Lee okay the
5:03 one anomaly but but he was running on a pedestal also at the same with the guy he was the one yeah exactly so there is no other if there was like if he was buried and there's like 30 other Asian dudes that I'm like okay cool like that's something you have to dig up to find the guy that did it but he's not he's the one and it's weird that he was bagging him in real life but not in his films yeah yeah yeah so then they didn't even trust that as a representative remember Romeo Must Die absolutely that was the one that I was like yeah and they're like supposed to be romantic interests but they barely ████ hugged yeah they don't even make eye contact with each other yeah it was like a whole ████ thing so like growing up as a kid sometimes you see that and then at an impressionable age like oh that's just what the world is like that's just the truth so I could only talk about my own experience and I think my own experience is also uh it's both romantic
5:56 and in Social and making friends because I feel like when you're born kids don't see color at all yeah they're just friends with everyone right so um where I grew up was pretty diverse and my first girlfriend was white but it wasn't even like she was white it was just she's just a girl she's a girl yeah I was in second grade she gave me a kiss on the cheek my whole body turned red and I didn't know I thought I had a fever I'd never felt feelings like that in my entire life and we had a very it was just a very like diverse group then I go into um Junior High and you have friends that are like oh you got skaters you gotta build a break or whatever and then it was like still a very diverse group so I never had this concept of certain races
6:46 only date certain races ever right until I moved here when I moved here one thing that I saw was even the in the high school the dudes don't even make friends with other dudes and other races so I think that it's it's actually like what I think is first you have to know how to interact with people and then after you learn how to interact with people in general you learn how to interact with people's cultures because cultures tend to they tend to have their own way of communicating and then you have to know how to interact with cultures of the opposite sex so that you can flirt the right way yeah versus people might just right away like like for example if you've been in like a very like super Korean K-Town type group the way
7:37 you flirt with those chicks is going to be way different than a white girl volleyball team you know what I mean it's just you have to I think and I think the reason why there's that saying like oh we can't get white chicks or other chicks or whatever is because it might be really true to them because they don't have the tool set to even make a white friend a white platonic male friend or a black friend they might go oh I want to be friends with this guy but I don't even know how to like build rapport because maybe they grew up in a really super sheltered area or maybe they were the minority in the area so the five Asian kids stuck together but um so I think I was fortunate enough to have had such a diverse upbringing that like out of Indian friends didn't see it that way I didn't see it that way at all but when I moved here that's when I started hearing stuff like that right
8:27 right and I was like wait what what do you mean like they'll even be like uh but like I hear like homies and I'm like I seen a Korean homie knock the ████ out of a black guy I'm like we're all human beings you know and and I wrestled so we're wrestling all Multicultural people I've seen ████ every single color race get pinned we're all human beings but people have these not just the White Chicks but like every single different race and stereotype they're somehow built into their mind because they haven't been able to kind of like find a way to interface first and after you know how to interface then you can flirt because flirt is like the second level of communication I think that's the best answer right there you know contrary to what I like to say about bart that was actually really good I think I think you nailed it for sure because there is like you when you go hang out with certain groups of people the cultural aspect
9:18 like how they make jokes how they interact how they get along is so important and I think for some people they're just naturally good at it or they can naturally pick up those patterns and some people are just like I'm not gonna even try yeah you know yeah I also think it was like maybe more exacerbated by our time right like um like when we go through high school and stuff like that you didn't really get social media so you weren't really sharing culture as quickly and learning about people yeah that's true that's true you learned it from like your high school gossip groups and what you were comfortable with or what you stuck to and maybe some of your friends were like your friends because you went to either basketball camp or like Chinese school together and so like you started sticking kind of in your like clicks that made you feel really comfortable I went to Sunny Hill so it was like ████ tons of Asians so like this the the separation of like there's this there's like 50 something percent Asians at my school and then like 40 that were like
10:08 white and then 20 anything else you know what I'm saying so at that time it was a it was very clear there was like like a racial separation or or just thing going on because people didn't really like kick it yeah not really or if you did kick it you know what I mean or or if one Asian dude was like dating a white girl like it was I was like wow it was noticeable you know what I'm saying okay exactly you know what I'm saying so whereas like in today's world it's like like now you it's I feel like it's so much so much more like clear that like uh you know the stereotypical uh white chick who's like super into like anime you know what I'm saying like weave girls and stuff yeah so like for some reason today I don't think of that as as much like I don't think like all Asian guys can't get white girls today at all yeah you know what I mean remember we were going up and and I remember a time
10:59 and I'm talking like in my 20s now that I'm watching commercials of interracial relationships and I'm like holy ████ this is groundbreaking and now it's so common yeah that's what people don't really like give um attention to is how segregated we've been in America like there's this facade of diversity and whatever but it's actually very recent we're like well they call it a Melting Pot right yeah there's no melting happening in interracial marriage was actually legal in 1960 or 70. that's not that's ████ recent segregation desegregated in the 60s and then so like even the cultural like kind of taboos of like everyone will ask in Asian communities if you're dating outside the race they'll ask the first thing is oh does
11:49 their family accept you why is that a thing like the first thing in their heads is like oh they're a white family or whatever are they gonna be okay with that yeah because everybody knows that like they must have had an experience or something where they fear that kind of racism or something yeah yeah it's recent enough it's recent enough yeah or it's taught to us to know that like yeah and then so when I did ask guys that have these mentalities or whatever about like oh uh non-asian girls don't aren't into us or whatever I'm like what happened and they'll be like oh yeah I was at this part I was just trying to talk to this girl and she's like ooh Asians or like they'll get comments like that like seriously rejection because they're Asian or whatever right so I'm like oh I get that but then why would you want that trash anyway like a person that thinks that way like does
12:39 that that person represent all of white or all of whatever culture you have one idiot that rejected you but that doesn't reflect the ideas and thoughts of everybody in that race if you grew up listening to like what Nick was saying that that is that is what's constantly repeated and passed down to you so it's like a confirmation bias exactly where it's like C you know like it is true like I don't want it to be true but I just experienced it so therefore it must be true and now it just it's like especially at that age right it's like out here for my dad sometimes like my dad would say stuff like my mom's like Oh white people that's just so strong why the fuzz Johnny allergic to everything then look at all that sunburn yeah I will I will say that um granted like when I was really young my mom would always I would joke around with her and this is ████
13:29 up now it didn't age well but I would joke around with her back then because I knew that she would get mad at me if I like was dating like a black girl right and so I'd be like oh yeah I just started dating a black girl because I knew she would just be like what she wouldn't like explicitly be like that's wrong I think I just know it would trigger something for her you know it should be surprised or something and so there's this like subconscious development and I remember because I remember when I finally started dating somebody uh in college that was exactly like me in terms of uh Vietnamese culture but Chinese blood I remember thinking like oh my God like my parents would be so proud except she's a ████ it didn't work out but you know what I'm saying like there was this weird subconscious feeling that if I like were to bring this type of girl home it would be accepted and and also like praise and like I would make my parents proud and
14:19 you know I never really got a chance to fully dissect that but there's something like you said like when there's like a um a cultural like uh Common Ground yeah the Rapport aspect yeah right you just feel like that's uh that's gonna be convenient or right or or it works with your family and there's all these things that are like prose and complimentary that you're like that's the right thing to do so then you start also developing this other subconscious thing where you're like dating outside of your race maybe it's like a farther grasp you know what I mean it's not it's either less attainable and or just not realistic I don't know there are just so many random things that started happening and it wasn't until I started dating outside of my race and I was like oh ████ it's regular ████ you know what I mean it's just another person yeah you just gotta you build rapport individually with everyone there's no like oh you have to you know I remember like because I was like a scoundrel as a kid like this the
15:11 Scoundrels they all scallywag yeah the Scoundrels they all hang out with each other you know and then you would like hang out with Like A Cholo or whatever or to hang out with like a white skater kid that like gets in trouble and is getting kicked out of skate parks all the time and there's just like this the the Rapport language is down yeah who's down right and then I'm like oh ████ like this Mexican dude doesn't like the Mexican nerd as much as I don't like this ████ Asian ass ████ geek and I think that's that's really what what is the biggest truth here is that regardless of race right I think class brings people together way far yeah because I connect way more with people that grew up similar to me in the same class more than rich Asian kids yeah yeah like the kids that grew up in San Marino like we look culturally the same maybe we celebrate the same holidays or whatever but then
16:02 it's really hard to have a close friendship and relationship and we bump heads a lot because of what we value as like oh this is how friendship should be this is how loyalty should be like we have a different set of I guess existing in rules and ████ right yeah we're like I get it maybe in in their circles like they probably have a whole different set of what's okay because all of my like rich Asian friends that were like dating each other violating all the codes that we thought was wrong it was fine with them you know they're ████ each other all day long they would like cheat like financially against each other all day long but they were still friends and then I'm like that's the weirdest thing to me because those would be deal breakers in my culture like in my group and like and I know I can talk to a Mexican guy or any white guy or whatever and we would agree on those set of rules and I think that's the biggest ████ is
16:52 people focus so much on Race not knowing like culture in America with class is what ties us way tighter 100 yeah because our worlds are the same I like we buy the same ████ we we share the same type of like we'll probably go to the same experiences in the same restaurants right like we're all going to ████ like Outback Steakhouse and they're all going somewhere else yeah so it's completely different I remember trying to like uh the moment that I realized getting my parents approval was worthless was because I kind of like your parents where they're like you have to give like a Chinese girl whatever I was like okay let's say I get with a non-asian chick and we uh have the best marriage ever or I get with the Asian chick and we're fighting every day which one would you rather have me have and I remember my dad going that's impossible you throw the Asian chick
17:42 there's just so many things like in line it just is impossible I'm like I have a ton of Asian friends that fight with all the ████ together still at this point no exactly right like parents that's impossible they're walking like ████ self-contradicting things but they don't they can't put themselves yeah but you know and I was like I'm not gonna prove to you anything anymore it's like people judge the KKK guys that are like stick with your own kind and all that ████ right yeah but then when minorities do it within themselves no one's judging that ████ yeah and then to me like if I date a non-japanese that's already dating outside of the race for me yeah because it's so different like even within Asians yeah we might have Confucianism and Buddhism and whatever the ties together I was like so confusion but like to me
18:33 that's the same thing is like ████ how close is a Russian person and a Spanish person they're both European and they both can look white but how their cultures are so different yeah so I'm like I don't know like how true this is when it comes to like oh sticking with your own kind or you're not I don't know it's so weird because America in general they're ████ racist you know what I mean so like whoa hey dude we'll talk about country like that man but you know what I mean like that's that's the stereotype that so many other countries have uh when they look at America we're obsessed with race for sure yeah we're just obsessed with this so even the fact that like you know having a discussion about this type of topic you know and having race constantly be something that we're just like thinking about talking about yeah it enters that space and it
19:23 makes us not like a kid anymore where we don't see like colors you know or we just you know like everybody's our friend because now we're everybody society's talking about race and the separation of different things so you're constantly thinking about it as if it really plays a part you know what I mean versus just being like if nobody just talked about it then and everybody just did it like what examples would we have like what questions would be popped up you know yeah all of my friends in the UK they say like dude I don't know what's up with Asian guys in the States but y'all are so race obsessed and then they're like we grew up in such a diverse environment where everyone just like like Bart's example of elementary school kids just dating multiculturally yeah for them I and I and this is why I go back to the whole point like if you're an Asian kid that grew up with only Asians you don't have exposure to other cultures and anything so then you make up in your own mind you have an
20:13 imagination of how other cultures might view you yeah experiences with other cultures yeah I saw like how different it was because uh we would go to like the college shows and then like the Chinese whatever Student Association or whatever they actually formed because they felt like a small group on the campus so they wanted to get back with their Roots versus the high school like cereals high school when I first went there like the Filipino Club had like white people Indian people whatever it was just their friends and their friends that want there's it's so diverse people wanted to learn about their friend's ████ so I was like oh ████ this is so ████ crazy that in one group when people are so it's so diverse that that's already out of the question there's no like oh I want to get a white girl like there's no one on a pedestal everyone just understands people are
21:04 people people just want a good girlfriend or a good boyfriend and that type of um Dynamic was like that's why they they could date it everyone because they're like I just want to get to know who you are at Nick not Nick the singer porn or whatever you know but then in the other group if you haven't had that kind of Rapport if you you put all these other races oh this person has better immunity than me yeah just such a weird way of thinking but I also understand yeah how they got there yeah and so I guess my advice would be like put yourself in more interests because generally the more interest you go in like even with death the ACT is one of the most Multicultural like um activities you could do put yourself in there and you get you
21:54 need to see like hella people that sometimes I see ████ people that don't even have like swagless and my husband can't dance for ████ they come out of ████ all crazy and ████ and I'm like that's like the best place to put yourself in where you you're just combined by interest and through the interest you meet a whole like plethora of different types of people and you learn how to build rapport and you just realize everyone's just human beings and you have to establish common ground with no matter who you meet because that's always going to be more that's the key I think because a lot of people want to put a large responsibility on media and they'll go oh I didn't see that in this movie or when you look at the 90s movies and they depict so many Asian people as just the dorks and they're like oh look what that did to us yet movies and media are responding to consumerism so they're gonna sell you what they believe you'll buy movies don't get the credit now for
22:45 being Progressive because they're responding to what we are doing yeah so it's your responsibility to push against whatever you you believe is wrong and do what you feel is right and then the movies will start making what you're doing in real life because they go oh that's true that's who people want to see they want to see more ethnic people they're not doing it to as a favor it makes money it makes money it's always money-based that's also happening William Hung came out and all the Asians are so ████ ashamed where's the heart throw up Asians I'm like man I know plenty of hard drive Asians in real life I like this ████ that's this guy's different guys I always you know because we were right in that era too where like we would there was really no opportunities for Asians in entertainment and all that and there were a lot of people going like dude it sucks how they make they like de-masculine like they feminize men and all that stuff especially Asian guys
23:35 they're just like the lacking stock of the whatever we totally did that and then they did that and I get it but then I always thought in real life sensible women will want they won't they'll just laugh at the jokes but they'll be attracted to a man they'll be attracted to good qualities and the guy so I was like if I run into attractive girl regardless of what race we could get together and we'll go to the movies and watch William hunger whatever the ████ and laugh at it together but then so so I also would talk to these guys that believe these things about like oh you know the man is keeping us down they don't like Asians ████ trying to come up or whatever um and I told them dude it's not really the white guy's job to Wing man for us like yeah it's not so you're telling all these Hollywood producers to make a risk and make an Asian heartthrob and then
24:27 make a movie about an Asian dude ████ all the women in the world like a Rico Suave it's kind of tired and I'm like that is cool but then at the end of the day like you have to put in work like all like all of you guys if you want to go out there and be a romantic human being dress better look better get fit look clean and they're both sidarsos yeah dude Chino Suave dude that's true understand how to flirt understand how to be social like what do you what are you wishing is that like some hot girl goes oh my God I wish I ████ knew you're you're you've been there all my life I just ████ didn't see you because you were Asian you took your glasses let me just suck your dick you know what I mean everyone should be trying to strive to do better if you really want that's what I think makes a change you need to work on yourself and work work
25:17 on getting rejected a thousand times before you find the person that will accept you oh ████ you know like I mean like it's hard though but that's the thing it's hard for a lot of men especially if you're unattractive I think that's really what changes media like we have it in our minds a lot that like oh we need to see these guys on screen no you just need to see them in real life yeah yeah and the more you see in real life the more those people have those life experiences and those writers and those people and those producers can say I know a guy like this if they don't know a guy like that and they only know nerds that's all they're gonna write in that's true but I do have to say on the flip side though there is some truth to the media stuff because ever since K-pop your guys's ████ bad stuff there's like a image now of what this is there's exposure of like Asian content right Asian like guys in the Romantic world
26:08 with K dramas coming out and like this is what it's like being in a relationship with an Asian man now they can imagine the relationship of this example yeah I know they see it and then they might desire that but do you want the one that desires that because they're usually like really overweight blue-haired white girls that are weebs the character on screen that's like an Asian nerd and like not the heartthrob and he's the hateable character and a lot of Asian people get mad like oh how dare you put something like that it's like no we all know a ████ guy like that and we all bullied him too it's like that's a real guy like as much as we hate to admit it that is a real Asian person it's the guys that look like that that are mad a lot of a lot of generational Asian culture cultivated that person to exist that way because
26:58 that was the value of prioritizing success over image over like popularity it's like no be smart be this because who gives a ████ if you're not cool you have no social skills that happened a lot and there's a lot of Asian victims of that kind of parenting you're right you know what I mean I mean it produced Jack Ma and he's killing it now dude I will say to all the followers out there don't listen to what I have to say in this video because I'm the only one dating an Asian chick but I applaud everybody else here for your interracial relationships you've never dated enough but all of the sex you had yeah I just said right now I'm trying to give y'all props you ████ assets Spanish sex Italians by the way relationships with many Asian women like for many years and and so the the he's
27:49 like but I have sex with Asians yeah it's not about you jokes about Anthony but yeah it is it also is like when when people think of it as a novel thing when they go hey I'm dating a white woman and they think it's like a special it's called um you know what it's called it's it's called trophyism yeah that's not that's not good like that bro it's nothing like it's just a person okay dude but that's what I don't also like is like usually the guys that are saying this it's like like going back to Bart's like you're putting them on a totem pole on the top of the totem pole and it's like what about Asian girls then are they at the bottom yeah that's messed up oh white girls don't like us but Asian girls do like oh you're you're running your default settings come on man yeah and then so it already is inherently coming from a space where women are just like this it's not even a human it's a
28:40 it's a prize yeah and then that and where white women are at the top and I don't ████ like do this activity like where are all the racial girls let's just do it one time for the video just so we get it out the way which one complains the most like that one yeah or which one but it goes back to what Joe said just get girls to like you first and then worry about the race stuff later just yeah yeah yeah oh yeah friends first just get free just be cool yeah hey you gotta like you first too right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we all hate ourselves that's why he's all out of ████ I hope we did it justice this time guys foreign
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