0:00 If it's in the moment, it's whoever takes the lead and we never question each other's authority in front of him and then we debrief after. Maybe you can fix it by just being harder on Gio. Yeah. Just be really mean to her. Gio would go to time out right now. She picks me up. What' you say to me? She's like a school kid. Interesting. I didn't know that. Oh, I didn't know that. [Music] Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Today we're going to talk about in what way do you honestly believe? Come on. In the first minute, leave it in. Damn it. Well, we It doesn't matter. Can you please bleep clock? [Laughter] In what way do you see yourself? Um, say
0:51 one more time. Sorry. In what way? In what way? Okay. Do you think do you think you are actually a worse parent than your parent was to you? Yeah, but we're not parents, right? So, you think what kind of parents we would be? In what way you could Yeah. For for Bart, can we all go to the bathroom right now? You just want to get a drink? In what way could you see yourself being a worse parent than your parent? How could you see yourself? Well, I know one for mine and my standard. Um, I think I'm soft on Ta. Too soft. I think I'm too soft. You should beat him harder or like So, I like No, not beat him harder, but I think I think I'm too soft. And I think um I did like how hard my parents like set the rules for me. Maybe the abuse wasn't cool, but I like the um Are you
1:44 doing it the way you wish you were treated kind of thing? Well, parenting is also team sport. So, it's like what comes out is the average of the parents. Yeah. But then on my end, I still feel like it's kind of soft, but I also have to Who's softer, you or Gio? Oh, Gio's way softer. Oh, really? Yeah. She's the mom. When you guys disagree, what usually happens? Like if you're like, I want to parent this way, I want to parent this way. If it's in the moment, it's whoever takes the lead and we never question each other's authority in front of him and then we debrief after. Maybe you can fix it by just being harder on Gio. Yeah, you be really mean to her. Gio would go to timeout right now. She picks me up. What' you say to me? She's like I'm school kid. Yeah. If I ████ Peter Dingley interesting. I didn't know that. Oh ████ I didn't know
2:35 the wheel fell out of booby trap, dude. Dude, does that mean we went until the wheels fell off? Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Cuz I think for me, um, I have my upbringing and I also have the Marine Corps. So, for me, I really saw the uh importance of like no ████ This is like by the numbers how you do things. A B CDE EFG. Right. Yeah. And then so if I say something five times then like each time I I instruct something my negative reinforcement I guess if you will becomes faster and faster and faster. Okay. So there's no tact. But I'm also not seen in a bad tone. Oh like he goes like oh my god you tie my shoelaces. I'm like nope. I mean very calm but I'm like you figure it out. You figure it out. So it's just like right away it's like
3:25 there's no you know versus like oh how you doing honey? Oh I like your short. Oh, his shirts look nice today. And then so there's all these like Who the ████ is that? That's his next door neighbor. He's from New York. But there's all these like um like like flowery things, right? Like that that comes with being a mom. It's like like even even this before you tie the shoes. For me, I'm like if we're down at business now, you don't get into a flowery ████ until you master what the ████ we're supposed to do right now. And then right after then I'll hug you after you finish whatever. So like um I like when if soon as we enter into a task, it's boom boom boom boom boom completion. And then once you master that then I'm okay that's part of your tool set and then we go back to nurturing whatever. Okay. Um let's say I go if I get to that too fast like Gio will be like whoa that was kind of fast. No. Like that because she's not used to my level of how quick how quickly things
4:17 um can resolve can resolve. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Cuz I'm I'm used to like you have to do it fast. I'm used to being able to eat a meal in like 30 seconds. Yeah, eat your ████ food. So, I'm like I'm still really far away from that. And then for him, for her, she's like, "Oh, but he's a kid. Like, he's going to take I'm like, I'd rather Can't she just be like he's not boot camping?" She like, "What the f███?" But I see the benefits of boot camp. Yeah. I I never at your age, but that's why I'm giving him an age appropriate I'm giving the age appropriate boot camp. Try not to be. I'm not I'm not launching them through a window, you know? I'm not launching them through a ████ window. I agree. I agree. I'm trying to keep the hive going. Launch him through. Yeah. I'm giving Tiger I'm giving him his boot camp for that specific for that specific thing. Okay. Yeah. Like I'm teaching him if you have 30 minutes instead of
5:08 someone nagging you for 30 minutes to eat. Mhm. If you finish in five, you can watch your TV show for 25 minutes and really enjoy it without anyone having to nag you. So that's what I'm trying to teach him. Interesting. For her, she's like, "Oh, but it's seven." I think I don't think I'll be able to provide the consistency my dad did to me. Oh wow. In terms of like because you know when you have a really set 9 to 5 and my parents arranged it really well where like one of them was always there throughout my whole life. It was never like both gone and and for my dad to be like I don't know when I'll be home this week. It would blow my mind. And I think when I have a kid, I my lifestyle will probably still be a little bit like that where it's like Yeah. where I might just have to leave for a long time or I might have to like, you know, I just won't know. I think cuz the nature of like creative work always has surprises.
5:58 Yeah. And I think that's the thing that I'm like I won't I know I won't be as good as my dad was at that. My dad was like set like from the day I was born to now still to this day he is like I know when he'll be home like always. It's like, you know, when you come home and if you're hungry, dinner will be made at whatever time. Exactly. The consistency of food always being there. Everything was just so like clockwork perfect that like now that I'm like an adult and I'm like on my life with Smack and everything, I'm like I don't know if either of us will be that set. Wow. Yeah. Unless we're just home all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I worry that I'm not that I'm not that impressed. And I think that that would be hard on on a kid sometimes because I don't even know sometimes that I'm that I'm thinking this way, but I just am not that impressed by a lot of um normal things that kids often do. And if they draw a
6:49 picture, you're like, I got a homie that draws way better than this ████ It's it's but it's it's just like am I so I'm just supposed to just be like, "Wow, holy s███." Or what? I don't know. Like I wasn't raised that way. So, like I just don't think about it like that. And I don't like What happened when you showed your dad something you did as a kid? He wasn't there. Just wasn't there. He got his cigarette and ████ ashed it out on his drawing. My mom was there. My mom Yeah. No, my mom was there. My dad I didn't see my dad when I was a kid. Wow. He was always working, always gone. So he never like saw something on the fridge that you did and later was like, "Hey, Steven saw your thing." No. Great job. No. Damn. But but he was working and and I didn't really understand everything that was going on at the time. I found out later. So, but so circumstances are what they are, but you're just a kid. You don't know. So, I just think I'm just not that impressed.
7:39 And I I I actually think that I Yeah, I think I would I would just not be that like supportive in that way. I think I'm I'm loving and all that stuff, but but genuinely, you won't have that. Yeah. I won't be It won't be real. It' be the fakest ████ ever. And I just don't know how to fake it with that. Like Nikki, you won't be supportive though. No, supportive. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I feel like when um like let's say we're doing any comedy or improv or whatever type things, anytime there's someone that's like a first timer, it always feels like you're really good at leading them through the whole thing and you don't have this fake like like I'm impressed you or praise just for the sake of I hope so. But I think it's different when they're like close to me. Like I don't want to baby my baby in a way. You know what I mean? And it's not being fake around new people. I want new people to feel comfortable. Like I want them to come into our environment and feel comfortable. But like if it's my
8:30 own kid, I know that I was not it did not benefit me to be coddled in any way. So let's say you're a kid. Yeah. He's like seven or something. He goes, "Hey dad, check it out. I made my own Coinbase account." You're like, "Oh wow." No. Right. Oh ████ That's ████ crazy. That's how did you do that? You just put in a ████ email and password. Link an account. It's not that bad. If you move your coins from layer one to layer two, now we're done. He's just like, "Uh, not your keys." Not your crypto. Why' you see exes? We don't do that. We like split D5 C5, baby. But no, you know what I mean? It's just I just don't think that I could fake it with my kid where it's like I'm trying to help them in the best way I can. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Cuz you you know that what they need to hear isn't what you can say.
9:23 Yeah. And and me and Nikki are the same way. Like I don't think that like Nikki gets really pissed when she has friends who need constant affirmation. Like we're both the same way. If I have a friend who needs constant That's harder on girls cuz a lot of girls do that. That's exactly right. And so she often like gets when she's in friend groups with girls, she's often it's weird cuz she just doesn't know how to fake it and do the ████ stuff. Smack does goes through the same thing where like girls will just send her like they'll send her like memes of like here's what best friends do and then Smack's like I'm not your ████ best friend. Nikki does the same ████ Yeah. Yeah. It's It's way tougher on me. It's so weird. Yeah. What up, guys? Come join our Patreon because there's hundreds of videos dating all the way back to 2019. That's right. If you click on the link down below, you can join our Patreon, join us on the Discord, come chat with us directly, have a fun conversation, and this will
10:14 help support the channel's growth and new ideas, and also tap into our closer community by joining our Discord and get the opportunity to suggest video ideas like the ones you've seen. Thank you guys. Join our Patreon. Help us out. Thanks. See you guys there. Say hi to me. Yeah, it is tougher on girls. I completely agree. But that's what I mean. I just don't think that we're the coddling type. We don't cuddle each other even. So, yeah, because you didn't have that. Nah. And uh yeah, I just don't think I'll be able to do that. Like I see even friends of mine cuddling their kids in ways where I'm just like, "Oh my god, dude." Like they my friend, I have a friend, he's his kid just like reached their hand out to shake my hand the other day. He thought it was like the most ████ incredible. He's like, "I'm just so impressed by my kid right now." I'm like, "Oh, shake my hand." I see. Yeah. Who gives a ████ dude? It's like the It's just like all humans develop at some point. Exactly. It's
11:05 just ████ It's just that it's his kid. So he's like this is amazing cuz my kid It's like oh my ████ god dude. We should get his IQ checked. Yeah. Everyone thinks their kid is Einstein though even though they're like normally developed. They're just normal. Right. And it's good by the way. If you do the other thing it's actually worse. Yeah. Right. Right. I see what you're saying. Yeah. So it's one of my grapes. I was having this conversation with my cousin literally last night. um where we were just randomly talking about like what's what's like the least amount of money that if you got right now you would feel like you know you could do whatever you want you feel comfortable you'd be done with whatever hustle right and then we were saying oh yeah if we got this much then like yeah then I honestly I don't even think I would like serial entrepreneur do a bunch of other stuff honestly I just want to get good at golf
11:56 and do this and play this and blah blah blah right and then it brought me back to a convers a couple conversations I've been having with my ad where he Uber drives right now and he keeps on telling me this the most morbid ████ where he's like, "Yeah, I can only drive for like so long cuz I I'm starting to get more tired, blah blah blah." And honestly, maybe like in a couple years when I can't do this anymore, like I feel like I'll have no purpose. So like it's easier if I just die. Oh my god. He just like says that like nonchalantly, right? And to me, I'm like I totally understand you and your logic and where you are cuz I know you. But at the same time, like you're talking to your son. It's not really inspiring. It's not really selfish. So, it put me in this ced, damn, these ████ like came over as refugees from a war really sacrificed everything so that we could
12:46 have these feelings of like, oh, if I got this, then I I could do this with my life. Whereas for him, he worked the entire way to the point where if he doesn't have to work anymore, he'd be like, I'm Yeah. I'm done. And I I feel like I guess relative to this question, I don't know if I'll ever through my life experience understand that depth of sacrifice. Yeah. That's true. Commitment to someone else. And I know that like you know if I have a kid Yeah. If I have I'm sure some sort of seventh gear will kick in or some sort of feeling, but like that's some ████ that still I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to. And like this guy really just worked his whole life. Yeah. Our parents generation know nothing but work and provide. But did he ever go on like vacations? He does like still go. But still just the
13:37 feeling of like if I can't do something like work productively. It's not like a retirement mentality of like I want to go have fun or pick up an an interest. I I really just don't want to get to the point where somebody has to take care of me. Yeah. They don't know what it's like to work for their passions either. It's just you. is just all I work. But the Boy Scout stuff wasn't it was he wasn't being paid for that, was he? No. No. No. And which is great because that's like a huge part of his life and identity. But still just the idea that if I can't provide for myself or do something, there's no purpose in living cuz there's no there's no concept of like if he stops working like me and my sister can like provide so they can enjoy life or exist in whatever capacity. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I would rather die. Yeah. I'd rather die. I don't want anybody to help me. A lot of boomer dudes die right after. I get that. He has no purpose anymore. That's a generational thing for sure because he's lived such a life of
14:28 like doing it for us. Yeah. And it can't just be a hobby, too. It has to be like you need you're needed. Cuz I was thinking about like how old folks have hella like they garden or whatever, but then they still croak pretty quickly cuz they don't have that like, oh, they need me to do this for the church or whatever or whatever's going on. Yeah. Yeah. I learned that too when whenever I I visit my mom and dad and they're trying to give me whatever useless thing I don't need, I I always take it and I'm like, "Oh, that's exactly what I needed." Nice. Except Bart's like Bart's like, "Hey, if you're going to give this to me, I'm going to throw it in the trash." Cuz my parents are sensitive about that. It's going to go straight to the trash. Give it to auntie. She'll keep it forever. She's nice. She'll keep it. Yep. That's another thing too I think is they're so used to providing and constantly just being the one that's giving people cash or food or whatever.
15:19 I don't blame them. They lose that purpose when you're just like, "Nah, like let's just chill. Don't give me nothing." My mom's like, "Oh, you sure? I bought all these snacks." And I'm like, "F██████ chill, dude. Just sit down." No. If I take care of Nikki so much that if she ever had to take care of me, I'd probably just off myself. Like, seriously, I just don't even want to think about that. Like it just brings me so much shame into my brain and heart. Like I'd just be like, "Dude is out. Just kill me." Just I would just walk into the snow somewhere. Never come back out. Yeah, dude. He's like, "I would rather you be sad that I killed myself." Yeah. Take care of me. No, cuz it's just like I don't want you to see me like that. Like that's not how I'll That's like my dad. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. Damn. Makes sense. Yeah. I don't think I'd um like when I was when I was little, I I'd like look into the phone books and I'll be like, "F███, there's a
16:09 ████ martial arts uh class or a school and then I'll be like, "Can you take me here?" And then they'll in their busy schedules, my mom or dad would find a way to like take me to a random store I found on the yellow pages. Wow. And then I was thinking back like ████ like I would have probably just sent my kid on a Uber or taxi and I'm like I wouldn't ████ deal with that ████ I'd be like, "No, we're not going to the ████ fish store where you could just walk around and window shop for an hour and I'm just waiting in the car." Like they dude, they had no phones. They were just waiting in the car for me. Oh my god. I'm just looking at nothing. No, I I don't have no money. So, I'm just at the ████ fish store like looking at the fish knowing that you can't buy anything. Yeah. And I go to the next aquarium and I'm like, "That s███'s tight." That is true. That's You don't think your parents are like, "Dude, this is way better than him ████ tagging our garage up." Yeah. I was like in
17:00 elementary, so I wasn't a bad boy like that yet. But yeah, I would find random stores and then I would get a map and then I would like look at the address and I'm like to get there. Yeah. And then they'll like help me with the map and then we'll go and ████ it would like it was like a fun adventure. I think as soon as the door closed on the in the van or whatever, the parents are just like, "Oh my god, some ████ peace and ████ quiet." M they're just 69ing the whole time. That's crazy. Take your dick out. Take your ████ out. [Music] I mean, that's very sweet, Joe. That's so sweet. Yeah. So cool of your parents to do that. I think I got lucky that my dad has a pretty flexible schedule. Oh, yeah. Music. Yeah. If he's teaching piano and then I'm and he's like, "Oh, yeah. I could take you after this
17:50 lesson." or like he'll take me to to when he does the house visits or um when he when he's doing So you were you were hanging out at other students houses sometimes if he's doing house calls or like sometimes he'll go to churches or music schools and on the way I'll be like oh tomorrow when we're going here there's like a pet store I want to go check out the chinchillaas so they're like all right on the way we can drop So you don't think you'd have the patience to do that for your kid? I don't think so. Like I cuz now that I know about Uber, I'll be like, "All right, I'm going to set the Uber up. You go ████ spend some time and then whatever." You don't think you'd want to check it out with their kid? I feel like you want to check stuff out with them if it's fun to me cuz some of the ████ was like I don't know. It's kid stuff. Yeah, that's true. It's unremarkable to the adult eye.
18:40 Yeah. Ta is really into Pokemon cards and that wasn't part of my generation. I know nothing about Pokémon and he just wants to go at all these Pokemon ████ stores. O, so I just go there with him and then I'm just like staring at all these ████ nerds buying like cards in there, too. You're looking like a JK News video where we're talking about games. Yeah. Are you seeing a lot of adults doing it, too? There's a lot of adults in there. Yeah, it's a s███████. Yeah. And he's just in there like looking at cards. If an adult is in there and they're alone, they should be arrested and thrown in. There's a lot of lone adults in there. It's mostly lone adults. Damn. Well, they just trying to make money, though. Is it? But there's also adults that still play Magic and stuff, too. So, they're buying Magic cards and like, "Oh, I need I need this many ████ mana or whatever the f███." Yeah. It's got to be mostly adults cuz those are the ones we can get there easier. Hey, who taught you man? Yeah. I'm listening to them. I'm ████ standing. I'm like, "Damn, this guy's ████ weird." He's like, "I got a
19:31 Black Lotus. It's more worth more than your whole ████ life." You know, Black Lotus. Come on. Birds of Paradise. Single Black Lotus car could buy Bart's entire life, dude. And then they liquidate your life. Maybe I'll look into tobacco. My next answer class
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