0:00 You did not. >> I got you literally on camera. >> Yeah. No, she not fly dipped. [Music] >> Kind of wild news. Um, Nintendo has announced today via the Nintendo Today app that Mario and Peach, Princess Peach, their relationship status is that they're just good friends who help each other out. >> ████ No, that's cool. >> Oh, wait, wait. Princess. Oh, wait. Tou because why the would he fight so hard to get her from Bowser? >> So, people are saying that cuz he's a s. >> He's a cuck. >> BFFs. BFFs. >> Wait, is Bowser the bull? >> What the dude? >> Hey, now you know. Now you know some cuckle psychology. >> Oh ████ It's >> the classic. They're trying to do a
0:50 will, they won't they. >> You think? Like, >> cheers. >> Cuz for this is the first time Nintendo's ever confirmed the relationship. >> Yeah. Wait, what? That's weird. >> Yeah. So he's just helping out his homie. >> Yeah. Good friends and help each other out whenever they can. >> Yeah. >> So like they're really making him look like a real ████ >> And a lot of people are up in arms. Especially the man of fear. >> You wouldn't save your friend, your female friend from the clutches of an evil bull overlord. >> Not that hard. >> I'd be like, get your boyfriend to do it. That's >> Yeah. What if she's single though? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Who's she with? >> It's your ████ your dad to do it. >> Your dad your dad's job. >> King death. Am I Am I in a relationship? If I'm in a relationship, then nah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. It's It's just better not to do it to save argument later down the line. >> We're looking at it so adult. >> I'm listening.
1:40 >> You don't get involved? >> I did. Just don't get involved. >> Yeah. That went through so many levels, risk his life so many times, >> and he still ain't getting none. >> That guy fell off cliffs. >> He swam. But it but what it does is it opens up the plot point for like other women to be in his life and not seem like an >> What do you think Luigi says about this? He's like, "Bro, you've been >> chasing this woman." >> He says, "Here we go." >> Yeah. You got me involved in this plot so we can go save this girl and you're not even >> Is that Luigi like at Peach? He's like, "Here we go." >> Here we go again on my own. >> Karaoke. Has anybody ever seen the the real ass movie back in the day? >> Wait, it was a TV show. The one with Dennis Hopper. >> Yeah, Dennis Hopper. Bob Hoskins. >> I did like Legazamo. >> Yeah, Legazamo.
2:30 >> Wasn't that a TV show where there was like live action and then there was cartoon? No, it's live action intro and then cartoon. >> If I ever saw Legazamo, I'd just yell, "Hey, Luigi, ████ >> Damn." >> Like, I like him actually, but I just think that's fun. >> ████ you, Luigi. But yeah, that movie was a >> That movie sucked. >> Well, it caused so many problems for like everyone involved, too. >> Why? >> Cuz it was such a critically panned. Everyone hated it. And production was hell. They went through hell to make it and nothing paid off. >> Damn. >> You ever seen the movie Double Dragon? >> I love that movie in theory, but I actually hate it. >> They make the movie look exactly like Double Dragon for some reason, and it's a Mario movie. It's very, >> you know what I mean? >> Mhm. I think this the same set designer as home. >> Did Double Dragon come out back then
3:21 when it was hot or was like a throwback? >> It came out when it was hot like in the >> early but it had Alyssa Milano is Marion which is pretty sick. >> But then like they for some reason the plot is it's a dystopian like future where LA is underwater because of earthquakes or some ████ >> Yeah. >> And then a Bobo is like this ████ huge ass freak that takes like some weird ass drug and then it doesn't make sense. >> Why don't they just make it like the real story where they're just in a ████ up city and you got to fight crime? >> Cuz screenwriters were too good for it. It's a simple stupid video game. I'm deeper. I'm more complicated. >> They ruined it. >> Exactly. They get away from the source material to show off how smart they are and it looks and it just alienates the fan base. >> A really big reason they don't do that is because the original plot of Double Dragon was based off of a movie. >> Oh, so it's a parody. >> No, because when Japanese people make uh content with American characters, they steal a story from an American movie. >> Oh.
4:11 >> They take it like Final Fight, like that's based on like Streets of Fire, like the movie. So like if they made the movie based on the game, they're basically making the same movie they copied in the first place. >> So it was the original movie >> and it's usually a movie that didn't do well. >> Oh, >> like Double Dragon's all based off of American tropes. They just take like American elements they put together. So they if they were to make literally the movie, >> they know the movie they copied wasn't even a good movie. >> Oh, did you guys also hear about this? So they're doing a Zelda movie. >> Keep the Nintendo. >> I'm going to go for this one. >> Yep. Yep. Yep. And they did not have this person, Hunter Schaefer, become Princess Zelda. >> Thanks. Ask Ask Subie if she's hot. Assuming she >> is she hot. >> No. >> Why? >> No. >> Why? >> No. >> Why? >> She's not your type. >> Why you keep saying no? >> Cuz I don't know why. I just said no. >> What the heck? >> No. >> You think she's pretty? You think she looks like an elf? >> She looks cool.
5:01 >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, she looks cool. >> Would you if you were single and would you like ask her out? >> No. >> I think Hunter Schaer looks like a badass. >> Yeah, I would. No, she looks cool. >> She's like Lord of the Rings. >> She looks like that character though. Honestly, Hunter Schaer does look like a Zelda. >> Yeah, she does. She really does. >> Have you guys heard about the Street Fighter movie? >> Yeah, it's like being made. Yeah, >> they got 50 Cent as >> You want to just You want to just shut your laptop and talk about Street Fighter? >> Completely just Yeah, that's cool, Steve. But uh let me uh let me talk about a better movie. >> I just can't believe Subin wouldn't cuz like I think every straight guy in the world would. Have you heard about the Brave Heart remake coming out? >> I don't sit like that. Okay. >> I'm not remaking that. >> Freedom. >> You have a preference? >> I have a preference. >> Do you think Do you think objectively
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6:42 sign up with vp.net/jk newsws. That's right, baby. VP.net/jknews right here. Go sign up. Link in the description below. Click it. >> Go ahead. >> She's a man. She's a man. She's a dick. You're ████ gay, dude. We got you on camera being gay. >> I can't believe you just did that. Holy ████ >> I was waiting for it, dude. I slow it. Who cares about the Mario story? Who gives a ████ about the Mario story? >> I slow rolled it. You're ████ gay, dude. And we got you, son of a ████ I'm calling the cops right now. >> Nick almost diverted the ████ out of it. >> Nick almost torpedoed it. >> I know. Nichl's holding his >> Dude, that guy, Dude, the guy you just
7:33 called pretty has a ████ penis. >> I didn't call I didn't call it pretty. >> A penis that gets hard. >> I didn't call it pretty. You guys said pretty. >> I said sure. >> I think I think 100 shave is pretty. >> Pretty gay. >> Dude, I can't believe you went that hard, Steve. That's >> You know, he's hiding. >> You know, >> he's hiding them. Honestly, the pause was what made me laugh, dude. There was such a deafening silence >> as he as he made the decision. >> It was like LeBron being like, "I choose Miami Heat." >> Before he finished saying the full syllable of sure, you were already going, "You're ████ dead." >> Who gives a ████ about Mario and Princess Peach? You ████ idiot.
8:27 So, like, what do you guys think about the cast of Street Fighter in the movie? >> You can't believe that he >> Oh my god. Jesus Christ. >> It's like I just put fly paper all over the ████ room and just kept walking it and then he can't move anymore. >> We gave him no outs. >> You wanted it so bad though. >> And I'm like, >> I did want it bad. And then Nick Nick almost was taking paper out from behind you just like, >> "Hey, what's all this paper on the floor?" >> Oh my god, >> that was sick. >> He slammed his laptop. So >> you didn't get me though. >> You think >> you did not? >> I got you literally on camera. >> Yeah. No, you see that fly? >> Dipped. >> So real story though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh why did they get
9:18 like not the role or what? >> The role wasn't even being offered. >> It went to an exactly it was this was something that a lot of people just thought was a good visual comp >> because some people like think she's really pretty >> and um oh but hell straight people don't right. Awesome. >> I thought it's because like they actually had the role. They were being considered. >> No, it's just a fan thing. >> I see. >> The internet just was like this would be a really sick fit, you know? >> I mean, it does look exactly >> looks like it. Yeah, for sure. But like >> doesn't fit everywhere. And like Yeah. It's that thing again where like Zelda in the biographically is not >> I guess trans. Yeah. >> So, this is this is a real one. They got >> Do you think she's pretty?
10:10 Don't say anything, Subin. As your lawyer, don't say a thing, dude. Sub just lost it and it's like, "Hey, would you like to roll the dice again >> for free?" >> Yeah. >> We'll give you one more time. We'll >> give you a room. We'll give you a room if you get it. >> Hey, one more time. >> Give you a room. >> One more time. >> Reel it. Cuties. Subies. Reduced itself to sign. >> I think this one's safe, dude. I think you're safe on this one. >> No, this is what I'm think. >> No comment. Okay. No. >> What else does she, dude? >> Yeah. So, that's a chick. So, Subie doesn't find her pretty. That's just a lot. >> She looks like AI. Doesn't find her pretty. >> She does look AI, but that's real. >> That's how perfect she is. >> Who is that? >> Uh, her name's Bo Bran. Nailed it. No. Bragg. >> Bragg. >> Bo Bragg. Yeah. >> And uh, >> so that's who actually got cast.
11:00 >> What's weird is that Nintendo announces the cast and it has this other cat who looks like a ████ elf for sure. And then she's cast as Zelda, right? And then um the cat who um all the whole community about who wanted the the guy that Stephen thinks is really pretty. They are really pissed because it looks like a more of a visual comp to Zelda. >> It does. But Zelda's only >> I didn't even say she's pretty dog. >> You said buddy. >> I thought Zelda was a dude. >> Isn't Zelda a dude? >> I didn't know Zelda's a girl. >> Oh, are you going to do that thing where you think Zelda's Link? You're thinking of she >> You're thinking of chic and >> Oh, leak. Yeah, that's right. No, no. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> What's that, Tyler? >> Said ignorant. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. He's ignorant. >> So, um So, no. So, so Chic is like the the
11:52 Zelda disguising themselves as like a I don't know, ninja or some ████ But like then it's still a woman. It's still >> Yeah, it's still a woman. You mean you mean so Zelda is playing Mulan style? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With cheek thing. >> Yeah. >> Because Because us in the game, we didn't know. >> Yeah. Which is really cool. It was a very great reveal. >> Yeah. >> Cuz when you played it, you didn't you didn't think that was Zelda. >> I didn't either. >> Do they knew it was a girl? The creator knew it was a girl from the beginning or he was like, "Let's just spin it around." >> No, the creator knew it was a girl. >> I just got never past the first thing like you go into that health thing and you try to buy and I'm like, "F███ this ████ I can't get that. >> Are you talking about like Zelda 1 where you just get the sword from the cave? >> Yep. >> Wow. >> Cheek was in there. >> And then you go to the store and then there's a boat. Like you got to read the guy's boat. I'm like, what game has reading? This is stupid.
12:43 >> And then I asked my cousin, "Hey, can I just play paper boy? I don't want to play this s███." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. >> And I I love paper boy, dude. >> Yeah. Cuz it's just simple, right? >> Throw a newspaper, dog chase you, get away. You know, >> it's like a 9 to5. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. Come on. Clock in, clock out. >> Yeah, that's it. >> Hold on. Hold on. >> What's going on, Suben? >> No. ████ that. >> You let someone else got this. >> You ████ me. >> No, you you trying to ████ me all day today, ████ >> You trying to ████ me? >> I will be honest. Last night I was howling as I as I put this morning in the show. >> I was I even asked, >> do you remember yesterday? Do you remember yesterday? No. >> What I asked you when you were on your way out? >> Yeah. >> I said, "Are you going to be here tomorrow?" >> Yeah. >> And you're like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Good. You've seen you've seen Hunter Schaefer and stuff. You I I'm sure you liked >> Euphoria. I'm >> sure you liked it a lot. I bet you liked it a lot. >> No, I've never watched Euphoria.
13:34 >> Oh, >> I bet you'd really like the Hunter Schaer scenes. >> I don't know what you're talking about. >> I don't know. I don't either. >> I don't remember. I said sure. I didn't say yes. >> You said pretty. I said is he is he is he pretty? Is this man pretty? >> No, you did not say that. You just asked >> he's a hellird yes. >> No, I said sure. >> Either way, congrats, gentlemen. I really think this episode will put us on the map. >> Absolutely. >> Uh yeah. Where can you clip? >> I think people are going to be pretty upset about this one. >> Where can you clip in the I don't know. Is this >> It's like a long game. >> Let it loose. >> The answer is yes. The answer is yes.
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