0:00 [Music] anybody here like tigers i like tigers i love tigers top three favorite animal right so what are the other two yeah i want to hear this i like chimpanzees the most palsies and then my second favorite is dolphins oh they're sick as ████ i like that funny and they're funny hated animals oh yeah you got the top three hated animals regular whales because i don't like the name and branding it's vital what about orcas but the branding and the names oh i see i like freewheeling i don't like what they do to see world trainers because i think that those are good people yeah they're just doing their job just doing their job yeah wow it's called whitefish the documentary is every favorite second least favorite animal you said oh dude emus because i had an emu bite me in the arm one time i punched him in the ████ head you punched an emu in the
0:51 head all right bite your arm it was retaliation protection no i had a watch on and my uncle was an emu farmer and um yeah the emu was like coming up to me and then i was like oh ████ and they're ████ huge right and i was like 12 years old and he he like bit me on the arm and i like went pop like that and he just go like oh my god is he right that's joe not to be confused with an ostrich they're smaller evens are big ████ dudes they're big but they're smaller yeah they're smaller i think about the way that like giraffes fight with their with their necks and stuff they're like hitting each other but then they have so much neck that it's like it's finding its way to be strong holographic everyday exactly my number three least favorite animal yeah oh man apparently it's white let's go
1:47 [Laughter] oh i didn't know i ran into my ex-wife exhibit oh my god this is like jesus the jerry lewis oh all right so uh okay i actually just take a breath for a second because this is actually tragic why'd you stand up like that he ████ was the one who brought on the stand up dude i think he's a terrible host shut up [Laughter] critically endangered tiger fatally shot at a florida zoo after a biting man's arm good riddance very
2:39 similar to your story with the emu jesus always good riddance i i'm we're supposed to be the side be on the other side yay tiger good british jesus but no yates the tiger died i don't know which side of history i want to be on yet we got to hear more information first before we pick we want to make a hot take and then we want to figure it out later [Laughter] give us one more reaction we'll see what happens i'm trying to find clips that people can take to cancel us there you go there and then we can apologize yeah yeah out of context yeah so did he have to shoot the tiger to get him to stop biting him or did he get bit come back later and just get him with the game yeah oh jesus as if he escaped the first bite right was he ████ around with the tiger okay it's also the policy right if an animal bites a human being you just got to put them down so that it doesn't have like a technically a taste for blood hey dude
3:30 we need to focus more on animal rehabilitation and not punishment that's true i agree so true true and who was in whose territory mm-hmm you want to abolish your death penalty for tigers yeah yeah because i want to know like if this guy went into tiger territory and was like he had a ████ stick and he was like poking at the cubs well mama tiger's gonna ████ you up right mm-hmm that's his fault can you imagine the ████ poking at a cup with a stick what kind of human hey honestly that ████ happened there's some dumb ████ he's a board human that every single time he's ████ you know these zoo ████ stories come out it's always some dumb ████ yeah from the human anyway so let's take these tours trying to take get a ████ close-up photo there's those dumbass and ████ or the people like i don't know how my kid got in the tiger exhibit it's like come on man you threw him in there really be a better parent so authorities
4:21 in the us have shot and killed a critically endangered tiger after it bit the arm of men who entered an unauthorized area okay yeah all right ████ up if you kill the tiger you have to kill the guy too yup yeah i agree you gotta kill bob you gotta kill the guy or else we'll get a taste if you're gonna you're gonna kill the guy too don't kill the tiger okay yeah is to kill the tiger after it hurts a human being and you have to kill the tiger then you should kill the guy too well if you kill the guy then he's no longer hurting then kill the guy first or i don't care or don't kill anybody leave the guy in there the tiger will just eat him yeah i like that if he crossed the cage that way that'll be kind of cool so the idea is that if the tiger eats a human he wants to eat humans all the time is that the idea yeah that's not fair though this is suspicious because if it's the first
5:12 time he's going to eat a human then doesn't the tiger always want to eat a human muscle does not have tigers that's very true very true i thought that's only what they do with like wild animals either way they should just kill this guy closure this is a zoo enclosure should they do it for that too and this is an unauthorized area where there's been okay what's going to happen with dolphins never continue it's not just this is not just a tourist so there's there maybe is a gray area they should have a sign that says die at your own risk yep and then so anytime people ████ go across and tiger kills it's like ████ i told you fool yes you saw the sign yeah so the man who's in his 20s and worked for an external cleaning service at the naples zoo in florida suffered serious injuries after an eight-year-old malayan tiger named iko bit him oh was he cleaning up tiger poop he was working no no no authorized entry though no not yet uh-oh preliminary information indicates
6:03 that the man was either petting or feeding the animal both of which are unauthorized and dangerous activities unauthorized it added that the third party cleaning service which the man worked for is only responsible for cleaning restrooms and the gift shop not animal enclosures what are you doing dude can i ask a question that's just really might sound ████ up but i swear to god it's not it's just one of those cleaning services with disabled people are the only oh the special cleaning service yes uh it doesn't it doesn't say that no oh because you could well for the sake of the story absolutely he was blind he couldn't hear anything and he had a lover should die the tigers are bad you can't pull that stuff off like that literally it doesn't have like i literally just said no and it said for the fun you ████ there's something missing i think he's trying to fool us fullest
6:53 dude i thought the guy was count chocolate what is this i'm just gonna walk off guarantee you can't but he knew none of us would know that so he he didn't count chocolate oh yeah i could guarantee that it wasn't the disabled cleaning service because i have personal experience with them and if you tell them a rule yes they will never do they're not mischievous they will never do it all right because they're like they have a specific task if you tell them not to go there they will not their focus is like super strong huh so initial reports indicate that the tiger grabbed the man's arm and pulled it into the enclosure after the man traversed an initial fence berry and put his arm through the fencing of the tiger ████ that's some gangster yeah which happened after the zoo had closed for the day prompted deputies to respond to the scene the first debut to kick the enclosure and attempted to get the tiger to release
7:43 man's arm from his mouth but the deputy was eventually quote unquote forced to shoot the animal i was forced taken to a hospital uh and eco's killing has obviously prompted outrage online with many users blaming the man for entering a restricted area it's his fault the tiger's dead they shot the tiger for being a tiger but also what happens to the guy does he does he serve any sort of like is there like is all the videos of people ████ around with the animal enclosures do they ever get in trouble nothing happens to him now he has to do is just get an automatic car because stick shift is out of the question yeah why don't they get the trainers who raised the tiger because i've watched a lot of these videos on youtube yeah just walk in the enclosure the tiger runs up and starts like hugging him and stuff then he would be obviously distracted then the guy could make an exit
8:33 duh how many of those videos have you seen i've seen so many of those videos those cats they walk up to like lions they just walk up the line and say oh he he bottle-fed these lions and then these ████ lions look like they're about to eat this guy and then they start licking them on the face because they're like daddy yeah yeah it's like the real tarzan is that the guy's name oh yeah yeah that's the real tarzan that feels gangster this guy's tight right does he work at a zoo or something because she knows all these like always like in africa and stuff and they're like the lion's like rushing at him and you're like what the ████ and then he's like come here and ████ lion jumps on him and he's like hugging him and ████ nuts that's crazy crazy it's like your cat franklin yeah dude he's the best dude this was cat every single time we come home his cat just goes up to uh steve and just like literally comes up on time like puts his ████ paws up on steve and it's like pick me up pick me up and then ████ like he picks and he just climbs up and he just chills
9:24 there on his shoulder like a parent ever it's the ████ cutest ████ i've ever seen even though steve's yeah i'm hard dude i'm ████ hard though like a cat you got a cat parrot like steve don't deserve this love he's like frankly you know he calls your wife an animal ex-wife ex-wife oh ex-wife sorry that's right that's right oh yeah well i mean he said some other stuff about nikki dude that's true i used to just come in with a fish and i'd throw it out of a bucket the franklin was like yeah that was my ex that was my hand [Laughter] your ex was like [Laughter] this rodney dangerfield side of you is great i got no respect i really i really do hate it though when when animals get ████ killed when they're already suffering in enclosed spaces it's ████ it is but someone ████ with them dumb
10:14 ass human error is the result of like a dead animal now and then he loses his arm dude but there's no but because the animals aren't you know able to articulate themselves you never build enough of an emotional connection to be like wait a minute that guy was wrong yeah it's just a dead animal and everybody forgets it because there's gonna be another dead enclosed animal in like six months zookeeper when they caught that dude with this arm underneath the fence he should come and push the rest of his body inside oh no i can't help you whoops whoops they're just like oh ████ we don't have to feed them today get the pusher out here all right cause that meat that they feed them is really expensive so they can save a couple bucks i blame them for why we can't watch bears play basketball and ride unicycles do i blame the grizzly man too dude you ruined it all you ruined so much of the branding for grizzly bears yeah now they're seen as monsters they're seen as like they'll eat you and ████ nonsense
11:06 we'll never see ████ elephants playing basketball and dodgeball and then people you know using them to do the tricks like balance on one foot did you guys ever go to a wrangling show a ringling brother no kid yeah that ████ was mind-blowing to see an elephant on a ████ ball yeah that was nuts that was banana and then you got to ride the elephant i didn't write that i didn't write the elephant you guys never wrote it elephants wild are they really doing that ████ out of like terror oh they're probably drugged up like the ones in thailand you know what i mean so they're like docile i thought they were having a blast dude i mean drugs are blast to some people oh true you saw a monkey little jeep ████ mother driving he's driving a little jeep [Music]
12:02 ah [Music]
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