0:00 What is something from your childhood that you remember having to let go? Like I'm too old to do this now. Like for for me it was like action figures. You remember playing with action figures as a kid? >> I do. >> Uh so I loved G.I. Joe's a lot and I had a ton of them and that was like my favorite thing to do. >> And then uh you know when you're a kid you're making stories. You're like doing makeelieve with all these action figures, creating whole like uh I don't know like random adventures with them and stuff. And then I remember I started to feel like I was getting too old to do that. I can't remember what age I was, but I definitely felt like I was getting too old. So then I switched it to like I told myself I was staging movie scenes. I'm like, "Yeah, no, I'm not playing with them. They're not alive, you idiots." Like I'm trying to stage I want to be a director one day. So I'm trying to stage movie scenes. >> By the way, I know they're not alive. I'm not a little kid. >> Like they're not I know they're not freaking sentient. So then I would just
0:51 do these movie scene things. And then like it finally hit me. I think maybe when I was like maybe 10 or something I which I thought was ████ late to still be doing this. I remember seeing uh like a commercial for GI Joes and just all the kids in there are like way [laughter] way smaller than you and I just saw that and I was just like >> yeah it's time I think. >> So then I put them all in like a big tub and then uh >> and then I uh >> Did you feel sad? I felt really sad and then like I took it to the garage like myself and then I I remember like putting like arranging them all like with for their rank that they used to be and [laughter] like I closed it and I was like >> damn a ceremony. >> I audly I audibly was like >> good game guys and then I just staggered it and it's still in the exact same spot in my parents garage to this day
1:41 >> to this day. I see it right there in the same exact spot. Yeah, it's all these like >> painful memory though. 80s and 90s GI Joes. Yeah, >> dude. I remember it was for me it was picking my nose and eating my boogers. >> You used to do that? You're one of those. >> NO ████ WAY. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED I've always out of 10 times. How many times are you eating it? >> 10 times. >> Did you really? >> Did you like the flavor or what? >> Really loved it. >> You got a perfect score. >> It was the taste. >> I am a savory guy. I'm a savory kind of guy. I'm not [laughter] a sweet guy. I'm a savory guy. >> Oh, bro. I've always wondered what was going through the minds of >> getting those little savory nuggets. [clears throat] It It made your day sometimes. >> At what age were you like I'm ████ >> I can't believe it wasn't me. I'm dead serious. It was >> out if you didn't find one. >> Devastated. >> So it was like a salty little zing. >> It was a little p
2:31 >> booger eater. That's a >> I always wondered what they would grow up to be. Wait, what? >> Listen, the Colts fans. The Colts fans. Indianapolis Colts. >> They're Colts fans. Uh, so I remember I was picking my nose and eating, but I used to do it secretly because all good things should be secret [laughter] >> and that's what my uncle said. >> Yeah. Right. Exactly. And he's like he's like, "I'll ████ kill you if you tell me." [laughter] >> No. And uh, so my sister caught me >> and she's like, "No girls are ever going to like you if they know you pick your ████ nose and eat your boogers." >> What age? What age is that? >> That was my >> I don't remember, but that was my G.I. Joe's experience. I was like, I got to put him in the tub. >> Wait. Oh, >> where did you get how did you get caught? Like midbite or >> I was she saw me do the whole damn thing cuz we used to have a [laughter] we used to have a mirror in our basement against the back wall and she was sitting on the stairs and I had no idea and she saw me
3:23 through the mirror. >> Wait, you make sounds when you're alone like that. >> Yeah, it sounds like I'm ████ >> You never [laughter] know >> if you're committing a crime. Are you trying to It's like eating croutons with your [laughter] salad. >> Yeah. You never like missed it like >> like where you had relapse where you're like, "F███, I just want a booger right now." >> So, you know how sometimes you have to pick your nose? >> Yeah. >> It took me like 8 months to not just just ████ take it in. >> Wa. >> So, once in a while to like try to break the habit to kick it. >> Wait, do you ever later? >> What's that? >> Well, it's not fresh. >> No, it's only fresh ones. >> You want a fresh It's like It's like Little Caesar's [laughter] pizza. >> If you If you reheat Little Caesar's pizza, you're an animal, dude. You're a monster. those boogers in the microwave eating. [laughter] >> Yeah, exactly. >> ████ booger. >> So, it was just like was like a habit
4:13 thing. Okay. >> Yeah. I was like, I got to give it I got to give it up. >> The cold turkey gave it up. I did. >> You never had a relapse? >> I was so embarrassed. And I thought about the future of what she was saying and I was like, this has real consequences. >> But I remember in kindergarten there were like hella kids. A lot of kids did that. Every kid did it in my so many booger eaters. >> Yeah, >> dude. There used to be on my bus going to school there was always boogers smeared all over the window. That's what I was doing. I was putting them on doors. I was a booger smearer. >> I wasn't actually I cleaned up after my mess. >> Mine was recycler. >> Mine was smelling fleece. >> Smell. Did >> I ever tell you about like me having this weird like uh like thing that I would do? So, ever since I was like, you know, like kids would have like either their plushy or a blankie or whatever. I never really had those. Mine was uh I like to smell fleece. So, I would either
5:03 have sweatpants or a hoodie. And then you like like you see the inside of your hoodie? >> Yes. This part. >> I would start plucking at it cuz I like making it really soft so it turns like almost like you know those little treasure trolls. It would turn into like treasure troll hair like this long. >> And then I would like to like smell it. And then I think as a kid it's not that weird when you're like first grade, second grade. Then I remember uh in fourth grade I would always bring a extra sweater so I can like put it in my drawer and then like and like smell the >> smelling sweater. >> You're a sicko. >> I was a ████ sicko. ████ So I'm in fourth grade and I would uh I would put it in in the drawer and then like occasionally just bring it. I'm not even wearing this sweater. I would just pluck at it and smell it [laughter] in the drawer >> just to like get that whiff. And then my
5:54 dad >> smells like something. >> I don't know. And my dad would like >> laundry or what? >> No, I don't. So, I didn't even like it when it was fresh laundry. >> Oh. >> Cuz it was too I liked it after like a week or two. It was like >> comforting for comforting. I see. >> And then uh I would go like if my friends would go if their parents took us to go watch a movie. I would bring my sweater and I'm in the movie theater like going like this. [laughter] >> And then my dad would he like he would see me on on Tuesdays and Wednesdays like, "F███ you. You're still ████ smelling that ████ >> Oh, so he knew. >> He knew. >> And then and he started to slowly hide all my sweaters. >> So if we're supposed to go out, I'm like, "Where is it? Where is it?" I look all over the house. I'm like, "Where the ████ is I can't leave. I can't [laughter] leave." >> Or if it's like the weekend, I'm supposed to go stay with my dad. He's like, "Did you do you have all your stuff yet?" I'm like, "No, I can't go. I can't go until I find my sweater." Not
6:45 even the sweater I have on, but the sweater to ████ smell. And then I [clears throat] >> You're a junkie, dude. >> Yeah. In fifth grade, you know, you start realizing what's cool and not cool. >> Yeah. >> And I I still like was trying to like push through it. So, I still had all fifth grade. And I rememberth grade. Wow. >> Yeah. I think sixth grade was when I cut it off cuz I was like, if I don't stop now, people are going to kick my ass. [laughter] >> So, it was late. Sixth grade is pretty late. >> Yeah. It's like 11. >> And Yeah. And so, I finally I was like, "Okay, I got to put this thing away." >> Wow. >> And then I never went back to it. >> Uhhuh. But I still reminisce of the feelings, but I would just have to be like, "No ████ plucking of any sweater of any kind and no ████ sniffing that s███." >> Yeah. Cuz that's a tough habit to break. You've been doing it for so long. It took you a year to get off of it. >> Yeah. To get off. >> It's like boogers, man. 8 months. >> Yeah. Yeah. You have to rehab yourself
7:35 >> cuz you'll still like go, "Oh ████ Christmas break. I'm not going to see any friends." Pull the sweater off [laughter] some of that police out, baby. >> I'm like, "My sister's at her friend's house. Sure can eat some bugs." >> Is it a police day today? [laughter] Yeah. Wow. >> Yeah. >> Any of you other guys had something like that? >> I I wanted to have sex with my mother in fifth grade. >> Shut with a mother. With my mother. Your mother? >> What do you mean? >> I don't know. I actually >> And you have to give talking about what are you talking about? >> No. For real. What the ████ am I? >> Well, no, no, no. I I don't think I know what ████ is, but I was just sexually attracted to her, I think. >> How? Like how? >> Like [laughter] um >> like what would you do? >> Wait, hold up. Is this a bit? >> He told you about the ████ fleece thing and then and then nobody said >> no. No one's judging it. No one's judging you. >> No, because I'm judging it. >> It's not the prop. >> I'm judging it. >> I just want to make sure you're not putting this on. This is for real.
8:26 >> I think it's for real. >> I think it's for real, too. I had to give it up. Wait, what's the problem? The problem is what do you have to give up? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you had to give up the thought. >> Well, I don't know about you. You had to give up the pursuit. Were you trying to >> This is Okay. Find me a memory. >> No, no, no. Watch. Watch. Okay. If I put on my sick ████ [laughter] if I put on my sick ████ Taiwanese mind hat ████ Taiwanese mind hat and I try to go into his brain >> it probably has something related to I'm about and he's not even conscious of this happening subconsciously >> that he's about to be like growing up and maybe he wants to suck on his mom titty one more time >> for the sensation or something and it's uh but not even for milk but because she has titties or something. I don't know. >> Okay. So, your sick ████ Tonyy's hat is
9:17 just what Anthony would say if he was here. [laughter] I get it. >> Edipool. Has it had anything to do with that or no? >> Freud's laughing right now. I told you I was right. >> I don't think I ever imagined like ████ her >> or like sucking her tit, >> but I just like her scent. >> Okay. And then also um I remember one time we would like uh she took me to like uh like a behind the alley thing. >> Behind the alley thing. >> Joking. Sorry. [laughter] We're going to go visit my uncle. We took a >> You can't do that. We're on the edge of our seats. >> Okay. Sorry. Sorry. >> I was there, bro. >> Okay. >> I was in there with you. >> Yeah. >> No. And then I was like like hugging her, cleaning out her and I was like, "Wait, what if I just grab her boob real quick?" >> Uhhuh. >> And then I went like this. And then she looked at me and she's like, "What the
10:08 what are you doing?" [laughter] And I was like, "Oh, nothing." And then that I remember that mo I remember that moment. I was like, "Okay, I can't I can't touch your boobs." [laughter] >> That's real, huh? >> Yeah. >> You know what? Maybe maybe you just started having a surge of testosterone from your balls >> and then maybe the boob her boob were the first boobs that were you have access to. >> Are you still on Anthony brain right now? >> And then maybe you're like, "You know what? I need to grab other people's boobs and not mom's boobs. >> Redirect the energy. [laughter] >> Have you heard this before? >> But also, you have to think his mom is really >> stacked. >> Your boobs are nice. >> Really? >> See, >> there nice boots. >> Are they fakies? >> Huh? >> Are they fakes? >> No. >> But this is what the ████ is going on? >> You always go daddy. Your mom got
11:00 >> So you had to consciously tell yourself it's time for being normal. No, I think I just slowly like stopped thinking that. But I remember that moment. I was like, "Oh, f███." >> Oh, you remember lying when it was like, "These aren't for me anymore." >> Yeah. Yeah. These aren't >> Your mom has nice tits. >> No, it's just a ████ normal boobs. [laughter] >> What do you mean normal crazy? >> Normal boobs are awesome to us. >> Yeah, that's Yeah. >> Okay. Yeah, they're awesome then. >> Yeah. Talking about >> No, it's not like a ████ crazy nice day. >> But do you do you feel like touching them when you see it? >> His mom? >> Yeah. I hug I when I hug her is I hug a little I hold I stay there [laughter] a little >> longer I stay there a little >> a little longer than I should probably ████ >> he's kind of like yo bro like what are you doing >> you have something that you gave up like a point where you were like it's time to retire this >> bro no I can't follow you guys
11:50 >> really retire anything >> you got normal ████ >> like Legos >> like pee like maybe pee in your bed or some ████ >> okay yeah I peed in my bed till I was 10 but do you feel like >> but that wasn't something now that you should retire but you can't let go >> cuz you you're you're still into your kid. >> Yeah. Are you into any like weird little kid hobbies? >> No. [laughter] Probably like playing games probably. >> Okay. >> Probably should stop that. >> I feel like you got a big Pokemon collection card collections and stuff. >> I I I played 2K and Madden in the FIFA. >> This is my dog, man. >> This is my dog right now. >> That's just cool, man. >> That's my ████ boy right now. >> You're scoring points. Yeah. >> Yeah, I play a lot actually. But uh when was that moment when you're like, "Ah, this action figure is just not hitting like it used to." >> Oh man, I never really had toys either.
12:40 >> Oh, that's cuz dad's busy ████ hookers. That's why [laughter] >> you never did you ever have like a imaginary friend or something or like an imaginary scenario? Anything like that? >> Oh, like a freeze like a time freeze ████ thing. >> Yeah. Uh, you want to elaborate? [laughter] I had >> Are you doing it right now? >> I had this crush on on this girl in like fifth grade >> and then I was too scared. Well, she was popular and she would never like me. >> So, I was like, man, I thought she just FaceTime and just ████ her real quick. >> Whoa. You guys are friends. >> And you had to give that up, huh? >> Whoa. [laughter] >> Is that what you're getting at? >> I got to stop ████ this chick off. >> I thought we Does everyone do that? you. Oh, you So you It's just like your little fantasy. >> Time and ████ real quick. >> Yeah. And go back and like clean it up and stuff. >> Clean her up. >> She would never know. >> So she would never know.
13:30 >> Go back continue class, >> sir. And she's just like, "Dude, why is my ████ so sore? What the hell?" [laughter] >> And only you're laughing in the back. >> Wait, that's how you saw it? >> Does everyone do this? >> I I don't think I've ever done it that way. I never done it that way because at the time of that age when I had that make believe, I just imagined kissing her. Wait, how old was it? >> That's it. Exactly. Oh, but [laughter] he had the time for his imagine kissing her on the cheek. >> Like I watched >> I don't think I even thought about sticking my dick inside ████ >> You already like I didn't know that that was sex. >> I used to have a poster of the Power Rangers uh without the costumes on and I used to give Amy Judge Johnson little kisses. >> There you go. I would kiss the TV. >> I wasn't trying to lick her nipple and ████ You ████ weirdo. >> You're very advanced. No judging. >> No judging though. No judging. [laughter] No judging. >> Okay. When I was in like dude,
14:20 >> when I was seven years old, my dad and my mom watched this movie with me where this girl was tied up and then uh the guy would squeeze ice on her and then it was cold ice dripping down in the candles and then some some candle wax dripping on the body. >> Yeah. >> Anyway, I want to try that. So, I tried it recently. >> To you? >> Recently? To my girlfriend? >> Oh, nice. >> And I was like, this ████ is not satisfying at all. [laughter] >> But who's it for? Is I think it's for >> movie magic, dude. >> Movie magic. >> Not for you. It's for real. >> Yeah. I was like, "How does it feel?" She's like, "It's just a little cold." I guess [laughter] >> do you guys have the most explosive sex life of all time? >> We ████ a lot. Yeah. >> Heck yeah. >> Wow. Good. >> When I see her because it's long distance, so do see Google. >> Did you know correctly? >> No. I didn't tire I said don't move your hands. Okay. >> Oh, you just stimulated the bonding. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Okay. ████
15:11 >> What about you, Joe? >> ████ throws an ice cube on her. >> What's your thing, Joe, that you had to grow up out of? I I really want to know this one. >> It was Yeah. mainly toys, but I remember that specific moment where it's like, ████ it's not hitting like it used to. >> What? What toys were you playing with? >> Like action figures, Legos, everything. I tried. It was like one thing I was like, maybe this will work. Oh, it doesn't work. >> And then I started touching myself and that was the [laughter] best. That was the I was like this is what this is working. This is the transition. [laughter] Yeah, >> that's why we call him the closer. Perfect.
// end of tape