0:00 All right, genuine question. We'll start with you, Bart. You ready? You got to swallow. Hurry up. And will you take a million dollars to never post again? >> ████ yeah. What the hell hell yeah. >> Never post again? >> I'm trying to find ways to not post again right now. >> Yeah, same. >> But the problem-o is I don't have anything that incentivizes me to do so. But like let's say I had one big ass real estate deal or whatever. >> So you get a million dollars, you never hear of JK ever again. You can never post a picture that you had a great time on Taka's birthday every single every again or show any of his soccer clips online. >> Honestly? Yes, I curse. >> Just a million dollars? >> cuz he's retired though. So he don't really need to. >> So he's like, "See you guys." >> Yeah, he's like, "F███ it." [laughter] >> ████ your career. >> My personal philosophy >> 250,000. >> is um No, no, my personal philosophy is
0:51 I don't think you're really living life if you're online. There's this always constant like teeter-totter that you're doing. So my goal is to live real life. So if I can >> That'll be the That's where >> Like when I see parents that aren't on social media or whatever they're fully present, you know? But then when you're on social media, there's always this like, "Oh ████ I like optimize [clears throat] this opportunity or should I optimize this conversation?" There's always this little this little like I think like strategy or like >> Yeah, there's this little >> little like buzz in your brain and I would love for that buzz to be gone. >> That's why whenever we have topics, you have never heard of them before. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> That's true. >> You're like, "What? When did that happen?" >> Dude, or how about JK Vids? He's like, "Wait, we shot that?" >> [laughter] >> He's like, "Wait, I told that story?" >> Way worse when it was like um when we're vlogging.
1:41 You know, I'll be like me and Joe >> That's terrible. >> Look at this beautiful waterfall. >> Noxious. You guys you guys wouldn't even vlog with small cameras. You bring in like these ████ octopus giant DSLRs and stuff. >> That's what I mean. You're like, "Oh, look at this beautiful waterfall." Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now can you say that one more time? "Oh, look at this beautiful waterfall." And then am I living real life or what? >> That definitely sucks for sure. >> And everything is an extension of that, right? Take a million to go back to doing that? >> I would >> No, no, no, no. >> A million would just pay for anything. >> No, cuz my goal my goal is to live more real life versus less real life. That'd be Do you guys agree or disagree? I think I You guys think I'm crazy or whatever? >> I think you're absolutely spot on. I think you're spot on. For you. I think you're spot on for you. >> Yeah. I don't hate social media. I just want to I just want to be more present and more authentic, I think. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> Million bucks, you got to talk ████ on
2:31 anything coming out of Indiana for the rest of your life. >> [laughter] >> Never. Never ever. >> Milly? >> Not even for a million. >> It's just not who I am. >> Yeah, rich. >> Yeah, pay me, dude. I don't give a ████ >> Well, you basically take everything away from Steve at that point. >> He has nothing. >> [laughter] >> I have literally nothing. All I have is Indiana sports. No. >> I know. >> [clears throat] >> But then that's all >> That could also be your love language is also talking ████ so it kind of matches anyway. >> Yeah, it'd be fine. I I mean, I basically talk ████ on the Colts all the time anyway. >> Yeah, that's how you >> Do I ever sit here and go, "Do you know who's the best team in football?" Like, >> [laughter] >> kidding me? >> Well, he's decked out in Dodgers, so he still has other teams he can support and play with. >> That's true. >> So, you're not taking everything. You got to say everything. Yeah, you have to say everything. >> No sports at all? >> No watch sports. >> You can talk about all you want, you can't watch a single game from now for the rest of your life.
3:21 >> I think for a million bucks, no way. >> Really? >> No way. >> Come on. >> No way. A million bucks? >> you can watch sports, but you just can't talk about it? >> Watch it, can't talk about it. I I can do that. >> For a million bucks, you'll never be able to talk about it. >> Yeah. >> That's easy. >> You'll be watching a game at the bar. >> Have to go >> Yeah, what? >> Somebody's like, "Hey, what do you think?" And I'm just like >> You just show them a million bucks. >> You can't even do that much. >> Oh, dude. >> It's a master thing. I just go >> [laughter] >> And if YOU >> WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? >> Just look at it. >> All sound effects only. the >> that's it. >> Look at it. >> And if you slip, you got to pay it back. >> Oh. >> ████ stitch my mouth. >> So, one time the Colts finally wins the Super Bowls and he's like, "I DON'T NEED >> [laughter] >> I DON'T NEED TO SAY ████ I don't need to say s███." >> celebrate. >> Hey, I just realized you changed the ████ question on him. >> Yeah, thank you. >> we're all doing the same question.
4:11 >> Everyone gets Everyone gets bespoke questions. >> Oh, okay. >> Oh, is that what it is? >> Don't yell at me. We just liked your answers so much we put it to rest. >> Yours was very thoughtful. >> a million bucks if you could ████ the hottest girl in the world? OH. >> YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A MILLION DOLLARS AND let me ████ the hottest girl in the world? >> [laughter] >> That's a good one. >> Yes, yes. >> That's a good one. >> Honestly, I think Neno would be like, "Do it." >> You think she would say, "Do it?" >> For a million? >> Yeah. >> Really? You think she would say that? >> I I feel I feel it would hurt her a little bit and it would also help her a lot. >> The million dollars, yeah. >> I think Hannah will divorce me and call me gay if I don't do it. Even if I don't want to do it. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Smack would call you gay. >> So gay. >> What about you and the social media thing? >> So easy. >> you and [laughter] the social media thing? >> No, you got to take away your >> What about you and the social media thing? >> I was going to do easy. >> What if you could never dance again, dude? >> Yeah. You got to take away something he
5:01 loves. >> Can't even pop or nothing. >> You just can't dance on beat. >> Oh, that's worse. >> all you want. >> I'm still hired everywhere and I still I felt worse time. >> Off beat? >> ████ >> You know what I think her answer is? I think her answer is like what GSP said. You know GSP, Georges St-Pierre, one of the greatest fighters of all time. >> All time. >> So, he actually loves martial arts now because he doesn't have to train for competition. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? You're training for an ulterior motive, it's like it's like me and the social media thing, right? It's like, "Oh, am I like live Am I sitting here to sit here or sitting here to take a picture?" It's like the >> [laughter] >> It's like the same thing, right? It's like now you could dance just to dance versus dancing on how do I monetize the dance? >> I'm not allowed to dance on beat. >> [laughter] >> That That's wrong. >> Like you even tried though. >> How do you enjoy >> that for a long time.
5:51 >> Even if you even tried, is that possible? >> Yeah, but like you're going to have to pay back a million as soon as you're on beat. >> You're Dude, then I'm just never going TO DANCE AGAIN. >> AH, ████ I'M ON BEAT. >> NO RHYTHM. >> That's really hard actually. >> Yeah, you're going to spend that million. You're going to be at a wedding. You're going to be drunk. >> Say I accidentally step on a snare and then like I lose a million dollars. >> Would you take a million dollars to just ignore MIKE SONG FOREVER? >> OOH, FOREVER? >> You can't even explain why. >> Oh, yeah, no explanation. >> He doesn't even exist. You have to play the whole invisible thing. Like is someone talking? >> all the texts on red and everything. >> The right answer is no, I wouldn't take it. >> You can't even explain You can't even explain why. >> bro. >> Yeah, no. >> [laughter] >> You can have your gay AI stuff. Just make another Mike Song. >> Call your agent, Mike. >> My gay AI stuff make another Mike Song. I can't use it to make a million
6:41 dollars. >> [laughter] >> I can't make it make me money and keep my best friend, but I could definitely make a gay Mike Song. >> Dang. >> All you got to do is upload all of Mike Song's videos on ████ AI and then be be like create a Mike Song based on these characters. You can talk to him. Weird. >> I took a million dollars, can't talk to my friend, so I made a fake version of him so I could talk to him. >> Yeah. >> It doesn't even [laughter] exist. >> That's allowed. That sounds so gay. >> You get a milli. You get a milli. >> Or how much money would it take for you to not talk to Mike Song? >> For the rest of my life. You just can't even You can't even say one final text. >> Like one billion. >> [laughter] >> What about one billion? >> 1.2 million. >> What about a billion? >> take any amount of money. >> Okay, now I'll take There's a I think a billion's too crazy. I want to be try I want to be realistic. >> Be realistic. >> What do you mean unrealistic? >> 15 million. 15 >> A million? If you make 100k, you're at That's 10 years. In 10
7:31 years, I'm like where's my best friend, right? >> I think you say yes because a million's too easy to say no. >> Let's see you say no. So I'm trying I'm trying to be realistic. I think on >> A billion, so So, say yes. >> Give us a number that we can actually crowd fund. >> Honest >> [laughter] >> You can't even crowd fund a million. >> I might I might go like like 40 mil. >> Okay, that's cool. >> He's worth 40 mil to you. >> For 1 mil >> Is this easier for a million dollars, same amount? You don't You don't have to stop talking Mike, but you have to commit to making it seem like you like him. Like you you're gay. >> Oh. >> I think that's easier to do. >> That's ████ way easier to do. No, but No, but genuinely can't be a bit. >> You can't put it on. You got to >> It has to be believable. And if you crack, [laughter] you got to pay it back. >> have any zip, no sarcasm. >> You got to flirt with him and stuff. You got to low-key have to like touch him in
8:22 certain ways. >> Woah, I didn't >> Projecting. You're projecting your history on me. >> What? I'm just trying to help out. I say one thing, everyone ████ goes crazy. >> You got to try to progress the relationship, [laughter] though. You can't just intensity has to go up. >> Just no. It's just no. >> Oh, come on. I I don't even understand how Bart's like, "Dude, that's way easy." >> Are you trying to make money? What? Then not talk TO YOUR FRIEND? >> [laughter] >> BART'S THAT'S EASY. Be gay with him for the rest of your life. >> You don't have to be gay with him. You have to convince him that you actually like him romantically. And he has to be stressed about it. >> It's harder to cut someone It's >> [laughter] >> Cutting someone else out of your life is ████ hard. But if you want to be gay, gay is so easy. >> Wait, what? >> Hard. >> What? I just got to caress the ████ now and then? >> But it has to be convincing. >> I got to be a convincing gay? >> No, you No, no, no.
9:12 >> Best friend's just going to stay around while you caress him every now and then. You still have that relationship. >> they do in Vietnam every day. >> You got to be aggressive. >> They're just holding each other and ████ >> It's too emotive, though. He would give up the game. >> He'd start giggling. >> [laughter] >> Like, just trust me. >> It's believable. ████ subtle. Like ████ like arthouse acting ████ >> Where you're like >> Wow, that's tough. >> Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. >> [laughter] >> That's what I'm saying. >> You need to You need to do these It's already a no, guys. Shut the ████ up. >> [laughter] >> I'm not I'm a million dollars. I'm going to pretend that I'm gay. >> to do to have to act like you like Mike or have to act like you like one of Nina's sisters? >> [laughter] >> Well, what the ████ Which one's like easier to get the milli? >> I'd rather act like I LIKE MIKE. >> [laughter] >> DUDE, YOU'RE GAY, BRO. >> I'D RATHER BE GAY WITH MIKE. >> ACT LIKE I LIKE ACT LIKE I like my
10:02 wife's sisters? This is going to ruin the whole family. >> [laughter] >> It's going to ruin your whole life. >> Like everything's over. Packed. >> [laughter] >> Oh, damn. >> It's going to be like, "Why'd you do that?" "What's up, bro?" >> What if she falls in love with them? You'll lose me. >> [laughter] >> Child support. >> ████ up. >> Bro, it's so funny. >> For you to joke. Joe, a question. >> Give me one. >> [laughter] >> Okay. Uh a million dollars, but uh you just got to get railed in the ASS EVERY DAY. >> OH. >> MAN, that's not worth it. >> For how long? >> Every day is insane. >> That's every day is crazy. >> That's insane. >> Oh, it's too easy now. >> Until he's 80 years old. >> [laughter] >> That's too easy of a choice. >> HERE, WE'LL CHOOSE THAT. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD CHOOSE THAT? >> IT'S LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL?" >> 10 minute guys, you get railed once a month by a person of our choosing. >> Woah. What? Wait.
10:53 >> For 2 years. >> Why are we being punished for that? Why are we sending him? >> No, you know what it's got to be? It's got to be like this. You get a million dollars every time you get railed in the ass. How many times are you going to down to get railed in the ass? >> [laughter] >> That's a good one. >> Wait, but we don't get anything for having to rail him. >> No, I [laughter] said a person of our choosing. >> Oh, I thought I thought THIS WAS >> OH, YOU GUYS BETTER NOT CHOOSE a big old black dick. >> It's Damian Lillard. >> No, we all will. >> [laughter] >> Forest Whitaker. >> Oh, jeez. You know you know why they like little dicks in in in in in Greek uh statues? Because they said that it doesn't hurt the the the Just Just stop. Just stop. >> [laughter] >> All right. >> Not on this arrow. >> All right. I like Bart's question cuz I Can I just get a train done? So then um it's just one it's just one day and I just have a orgy and then I get 10
11:44 mil. >> So you would have 10 dudes? >> 10 dudes? Hey, what is better? Every month you're looking forward to this booty time? >> Forward? >> Or Well, cuz you get paid. >> [laughter] >> Or would you just get it ████ and just get railed? >> Okay. Okay. I got >> But you want 10 mil? >> I'll go with your question. >> Oh, but it's like the Super Lotto. If you want all at one time, it's 50% off. You'll get 5 >> [laughter] >> I'll go with Joe's question. There's laws of diminishing returns. >> Oh. >> 10 people. The first one he gives you a mil, the other one's 900,000, the other one's 800,000, the other one's 700,000. So the 10th guy is only going to give you 100,000. >> Oh. >> And the the 10 separate times? >> Time he don't he don't even need to get paid. He likes it. He's conditioned. >> The biggest guy has to go first. >> Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No. >> I got to I got to choose. >> Oh, you're going to choose? All right.
12:35 Who's your first choice? >> 10 Tylers. Cuz he's Cuz he's already experienced and I think he'll be gentle. >> Oh, Tyler. Oh, oh, Tyler. >> You're crazy. >> Wait. What's wrong with that? >> Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. No, Tyler seems like he has a big DICK THOUGH. >> NO. >> HE'S A TALL GUY. >> [screaming] >> I THINK IT'S BETTER IF IT'S RANDOM TO BE HONEST. >> THAT'S not fair. >> Like a glory hole? >> You want someone that you know? I want someone that's going to be gentle. [laughter] >> I don't want someone I know, dude. >> I want someone that's going to treat me right. >> Oh, okay. [laughter] >> I want someone that's >> How do we know Tyler's a gentle lover? What if he's like a >> He's a gentle guy. >> What if he's aggressive in bed though? Cuz >> He could be. He could be a freak. >> What if you go in What if you go in with Tyler? Hey, what if What if he goes in with Tyler, comes out with 100 mil? >> [laughter] >> And I start liking it.
13:26 Yo, that's a lot of money. >> And you're like, I got a 100 mil and a boyfriend. >> [laughter] >> All right, you we know we know you're not as gay as anybody else here. We have a little bit of time left. You're not as gay Okay, all you got to do is once a week once a week you just lick a penis. >> Once a week? >> That's it. >> You just lick it? >> Easy. >> Put sauce on it? >> Yeah. >> Why would you want to enjoy it? >> Put sauce on it. >> How much are we making? >> Licking a penis is the easiest thing in the world. How much are we talking? >> 50 [laughter] bucks every time. 50 BUCKS >> 50 BUCKS, ████ YOU. ████ YOU. >> YOU CAN'T BE A LITTLE ████ GO LIKE THIS. >> A LICK, he said. That's That's cheap. >> BRO, IMAGINE THIS THOUGH. >> THAT'S CHEAP. >> LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK, WATCH. 100 >> THAT'S ALL. >> 300 400 >> HOW MUCH IS THAT? HOW MUCH IS THAT? [laughter] HOW MUCH? >> PAY ME. WAIT, YOU GOT TO go all the way up. >> Do it fast. Do it fast. >> 100 bucks or 100,000?
14:16 >> [laughter] >> Look, that's like 300 bucks. >> 300 or 300,000? >> What he did. >> 50 DOLLARS, [laughter] BRO. >> 50 DOLLARS A LICK? >> HEY, THIS IS AN INFINITE money hack. >> Oh my god. >> Infinite money hack. >> Do it again. Do it as fast as >> Look, 200 bucks. Do it again. Fast fast faster. LOOK LOOK. >> [laughter] >> HOW MUCH WAS THAT? >> 100 DOLLARS, BRO. >> HONESTLY, I think I'd be down. >> NOT A BAD JOB. >> [laughter] >> IMAGINE 1 hour. >> Got to do. >> How much can you make in an hour, dude? That's good. >> No, that's good. >> I'M ON THAT 5 G'S a day. >> Setting you up for success. That's great. >> Me, I'm broke as ████ >> You just lick a DICK EVERY DAY? >> [laughter] >> WHAT IF YOU NEED TO FILL UP GAS? >> HUH? >> YOU NEED TO FILL UP GAS. >> YEAH. >> THAT MEANS EVERY TIME YOU'RE AT THE DINNER WITH YOUR CHICK THOUGH, you're like, oh ████ this is like three licks right here.
15:06 This [laughter] is like four or five licks. >> You just have the dick on hand? >> I can afford that. >> Like, hey Joe, to the BATHROOM REAL QUICK. >> WHY ME? >> SET A NAME. Joe Pop though. >> I need money real quick. I need money real fast. >> But you got to use our dicks? >> You get 50 bucks too for every lick that you >> [laughter] >> He offered a letting him? Wait, 50 or 100? I thought you said 100. Why is it going down? >> If game over, dude. If we could get money by just being gay, I'm so gay. >> [laughter]
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