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Off The Record: Shady Stuff Our Parents Taught Us

#shady#peacock#thief#downloading#taiwan
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 no you need a thief or a pickpocket a thief you need a hacker blacksmith you need a guy that could wiggle through laser he can help you close the garage door once theage you go through the Las it's unfortunate the the thief and the Assassin don't have that [Laughter] [Music] skill and welcome back to another amazing episode of the careful boys where we have careful Colleen in the building wo yay o all right that's a good voice um so we're going to talk about today uh all the Shady stuff that our parents taught us growing up loopholes and all that loophole cuz we got some I mean were your parents shady I think my dad did more things than my mom what did your dad teach you I I'm trying to think let me marinate it for a little bit all

0:51 marinate okay what about you what about you Nick what about Mar great what does she do huh my parents are pretty fing like what to the books huh like what what n they are pretty to the books like they didn't even their finances were to the books I think so no way like my I think my mom and my dad are kind of squar how about this did you guys have a black box no what that's a very '90s thing so they paid for their TV the cable my Dad paid for cable I mean he was probably working on all those movies that's true but at the time my dad was like he was tapped into all that stuff you know about this he was like a he was like a he was like a tech how about this was did your neighbor have a lemon tree that grew over and he plucked a couple this is off the Record right

1:42 we're not going we're not going to tell between us this is off the record for sure camera this is off the record on the record yeah oh see I knew it the thieves we did it every sh we took oranges yeah we took Naval oranges we took all that we have P Simmons you think you guys going to hell for that though no we bro honestly like I feel like I didn't learn about all the cool ████ until I got older until I started talking to people that were a little shady you know like my parents when we they found out that we were downloading things illegally we got in so much trouble like Napster L Wire yeah cuz sometimes like what cuz your dad's from the industry no no no but like you're robbing me son no cuz he would get uh notices from uh the email oh the email company the internet company really notices I think that's like how would they know so it I don't I don't I had no idea how this worked but

2:33 like every couple months he would come into me and my sister's rooms and be like hey you guys got to stop downloading ████ like I don't know what you guys are downloading but you guys got to stop I keep getting these I keep these letters meanwhile you're like in the middle of jacking off to the stuff you just downloaded I'm ████ cramping up I'm going blind I can't see anything I'm jerking off so much at this time I don't know what's what but like yeah like that would just happen and he would just get so mad at us you know what ████ that I never realized until right now is that my mom would also randomly yell at me ████ downloading stuff and I think it's because she heard about stuff on like the Vietnamese radio whatever right the kids are doing this kids are doing this and now I'm not I didn't I just processed we used to go to the ████ grocery store in like Westminster area every week it was every week you always got to go to the grocery store in the vietamese district right right to get the vietamese groceries exactly and then we' always stop by

3:24 those videotape stores that was just lined with ████ like cage dramas that were raped over on VHS so I would always have to carry like three or four grocery bags full of vhs's that were all just bootleg ████ pamas white ████ covers and they just wrote it on the own label and I'm like that's the same ████ same ████ they don't know the difference he actually okay I was I was talking about this the other day my dad used to work in China and he bought those ████ pirated PlayStations yep and you know you could buy like a whole folder of games for like burn discs yeah but then like it was a it was like a 25% chance the game was going to work like anytime you put it in but he would bring anytime he come back from home from China he'd always bring us like all these like bootleg video games DVDs so

4:14 you know he's also doing the same ████ yeah but I realize that it's not the same double standard though because I realized that in her mind she's probably like you can get caught yeah I'm not yeah I I bought this at a store I paid money for this the difference is that they're buying it but like they're not the ones dubbing it so they look at you like you're the one dubbing it they're like and they don't know what we're doing yeah they just get these notices there my dad brought home much different things like what a peacock that's so cool like how did he get that that I want to know that too that's some shady ████ it was just in the backyard walking around bro he just yanked up a PE we ended up having he went to Arcadia did you get no sleep ever after that they're loud right Extremely Loud Loud so loud that our neighbors called animal control and they couldn't do anything for a while so they tried to lure them into their backyard and capture them so they

5:04 can send them away did you love the peacock they were cool so you love what was your dad's motivation to want to do that I my dad's just like party animal crazy dude he just a crazy dude one day he just brings home a peacock he's like hey I need help like if they weren't super loud they'd be really cool interesting you don't think that was for you guys like he's like oh my kids are going to ████ love this ████ my dad is just like a sweetheart yes but also like kind of like the most interesting man in the world like he just had books on anything that you could possibly imagine interests and so many different things so those peacocks were really for him and not for y'all I think probably for him and not for us cuz yeah we didn't get much sleep you know what I'm going to be a peacock breeder that's what he was thinking yeah yeah yeah he's drove down Arcadia kiss and he grabbed the peacocks yeah he was

5:54 hustling peacocks probably except we kept him damn he's like they're all men three male peacock God damn well there's two males one female so the the males would kind of fight because there was see they should have had two girls and one guy but the males were cool because they had the the the pretty feathers so they would shed the feathers and we would have a ton of peacock feathers that's pretty sick that is kind of cool so my mom taught me about insurance fraud she taught you about insurance fraud give us the specifics just ever since like even the ████ chiropractor that ████ try to burn down even those ones probably like ever since I was a kid like my mom I would always like go with my mom to places like like let's say spraying the ankle or whatever and she would just bring me and I would always uh see like this arrangement of

6:45 my mom talking to the lady like oh like how many more credits do I have left like oh like for this year you got like 20 like oh put put like five for me and then five for my son so she would always like whatever she's insured for the clinics that she goes to they just want to get paid by the insurance company and so in her perspective if I don't use this money anyways it just goes to waste so whatever I need whether it's ████ fried wasps or whatever she'll just you always need fried wasps yeah she'll just book me you never have to much going out there without one of those in my pocket and when you're a kid you're like oh this ████ only works for the ████ Chinese acupuncture places but I've Seen It Go like from the ████ seahorse places all the way up to chiropractor acupuncture places he led with seahorse that's ████ bad all the way to the

7:36 ████ actual optometrist you know and all the way up to he said all the way to the a like seahorse is still was like easy ████ the shadiness of of the white coat Society if you will right you kind of think of like oh acupuncturist they're down here they got their license in a garage in alhamra and then you go all the way up here where if they're a pediatri you're like oh ████ this is straight up MD the the white cult Society gets more and more legit but I've gotten all the way up to here where my mom would go like oh oh yeah you know that penicillin that like you prescribed me cuz I had bronchitis can you just refill me and just build it and then the pediatrician will build her but the penicillin's actually for me to be fair though that's legit I'm a firm believer that if you live in a community or Society where

8:27 everyone breaks a law if you follow the laws you're wrong that's good business Stu I think that's you know what I'm saying I heard that's just Romania I think mutual benefits a good I guess I've been growing up Romanian I don't know if it's Shady necessarily but like when if you grow up in a family where all like your uncles ants mom and dad work in a hospital you kind of get most ████ done for nothing that's not shady that's cuz like like what you got a broken elbow yeah then they go let me see Junior yeah yeah yeah it's like the the amount of times that I've had like injuries or anything I could just literally go to the hospital that my family's at and I'll just go in and get the X-ray and is your family taking care of you well that's different that's like that's like my parents had a dry cleaners I walked in I didn't pay for dry but they own it but they own it

9:18 though they're working at Kaiser prman much rather have that much rather have that they're using Kaiser permanent equipment and it's not it's not you're not actually supposed to do that that sounds like a good deal you're not you're not really supposed to do that but like all the do like if plus there's people in line like there's an order you could just walk to the back and the doctor will stop what he's doing and go oh Danny's son broke his ankle all right let's check it out and then all of a sudden they're just like there for you but is it is it like you think you getting special treatment or does everybody who work in that hospital anytime their family members are under the same thing yeah yeah yeah it's like a so that's maybe just like a perk of the the you're not supposed to do it but when you're operating the machine that's a different kind of power no yeah you're using the equipment the hospital the time push those buttons that's different than the guy who knows the guy that can push them but it's also funny because your family can also ████ around because

10:08 you know you still got that deal they'll be like hey you want to see your skull whatever oh ████ ████ around yeah they're like hey you want to see that skull later on they're like oh ████ you have a tumor that's kind of how ████ like that happens yeah but then like like I've gone in for like I I remember I hit I like uh during tour like I got a bad cut on my knee and then it got infected my knee was like blown up and then I I literally just went when I got back I went back there and then the doctor's like yeah yeah here and then they all gathered around they freaking injected with all the stuff sucked out all the puss and they were like how was cool and I just left that was cool yeah knowing a nurse is clutch cuz like the first time I got my ear smashed and I didn't know what to do I was so scared the only person that could save me and like Help Me ease my pain or whatever of like just get my eard drink was like some ████ nurse oh I can do this for you yeah meanwhile I was like trying to

10:58 do it myself and I was like ████ if you have someone that does like x-ray MRI respiratory like in your family it saves so much freaking money Dentistry too like yeah when you have like a big family and you're like you know like you have like 10 children or some ████ like that and you're like you go be a doctor you go be a lawyer you go be a dry cleaner you go be you know what I mean it's like and you just have that in your family that's got to be the sickest setup that's like yeah that's probably like the the Asian long game it's like let's make our kids be these things like no we already got a it does that me one's got to be the accountant for sure that's important too is a huge one a gardener for the houses that you own yeah yeah yeah an Airbnb manager sure a gardener a plumber that's that's pretty good you about a house like anybody that can help you with your house HVAC HVAC

11:50 is big but then that's not that's still not a sh it's still not a shady thing like it's still just like you're he'll just help you out if we're Gypsy family that's pretty shady you know like I got like friends where like their brother or their sister is like a lawyer and anytime something like crazy happens they're like let me call this person you're like ████ I wish I had that perk dude having a legit lawyer makes you feel a little more powerful lawyer accountant the nurse part too same thing isut my homie and the crew like his wife is a nurse right and so every single time something randomly happens he's like hey can I take this drug with this I I I got drunk last night though you know what I mean it's just like having somebody you need a thief or a pickpocket a thief you need a hacker you need an assassin blacksmith you need a guy that could ████ wiggle through laser so octopus y that's his only thing

12:41 he does he can help you close the garage door once theage you go through the laser the laser and he opens the it's unfortunate the the thief and the Assassin don't have that skill yeah they Outsource that ████ I got to get through this I lucky have my brother I can't kill him but I'll steal it for you you have a Master of Disguise I wonder what other Shady stuff like I I know that I think when I was a kid growing up I think my dad and some other guys were fishing illegally cuz they would always come back with tons of fish I'll tell you what you know you're not supposed to do that all the Mexicans still do that out here I figured yeah cuz I'm always I'm always ████ when I'm like randomly fishing at like Lake bab or some ████ like that and it's like like you can't take the fish but then you see these giant groups mexic fan they still putting all these fish in the coolers and then I'm like ████ it I'll take one you know do you eat it yeah they're good

13:32 from Lake babo that's not bad I mean you still cook the ████ out of it you know what I mean the only places that you're you're allowed to take the fish or like pure fishing and stuff like that you can take the fish from the ocean but like all the man-made lakes and stuff they're filling it in you know what I mean so it's all catch and release I never went to traffic school cuz my dad just knew a place if you paid them they just sign you traffic schools same with me but you know what the place was what it was the hospital fora my dad would pay interns at the hospital to do my traffic school shut up oh cuz back then you can mail in or you could do online no like even right now if I got a thing right now my I would just be like Dad who who at the hospital wants to do this ████ and someone will do it for me yeah ████ I did somebody's traic school for 50 bucks before wow yeah that's essentially what it is but not not going in online yeah online he said the receptionist or

14:23 anyone they're just sitting there all day anyway and they could just like do it on the side yeah they just roll out a vcr and ████ play this ████ just do it so I um grew up thinking it's funny that you did that ████ I I grew up thinking that both of my parents were like the perfect targets for shady people cuz um my dad would always get like duped into paying full full price for cars and oh like there was like the next best like cologne or shirt or whatever or luxury brand that doesn't even exist that he'd buy and then U my mom I think she's actually gullible like she just trusts everyone until she's like wait a minute I don't know about you but then recently a lot of things have been adding up and I'm like my dad is actually probably the like ultimate scammer that doesn't believe he's scamming oh that's dangerous that's the best scammer last time I spoke with him

15:15 so he has a missing thumb right what yeah really he has a missing thumb I can't believe you I you've never heard that from me before it's crazy and he plays a piano yeah how does he play the keys that's what happened so he was like oh piano yeah I was uh moving this piano this grand piano and then um it slammed on my hand and you know I had to get it removed and I was like really and then he goes yeah but they didn't really help me with my hospital bills so I sued them and then come to find out this ████ sued a church to get Hella money but also the way he was telling me is like I was like you know he was so like depressed about his music I think this ████ plotted to sever his so that he could go after and Sue the church for hella money he plotted to

16:05 sever his own I think so cuz after I was like wait the way that how bad do you want it cuz the way that he was talking about it and then a lot of like Memories came back where I'm like oh this guy's like a psychopath Mastermind cuz like my mom was telling me this dude wanted to go to um music school cuz he's a musician right yeah and then um somehow she's like I don't know what he did but like all of my family members pitched in and paid for his whole entire school he's never paid him back or never said Thank you and then I didn't know this I thought he had the money on his own thank you either right and then so my mom is you know the gullible one and she doesn't even know that her own relatives paid for his university till years later and then he's in America never paid them back and I'm all like holy ████ wait but

16:57 he's also stupid in the way where like you go to he he he always got new cars that he couldn't afford right and then I was just even a kid remembering why don't you bargain with the agent like I didn't even know you could bargain at a car dealership but he's paying ████ full price so I just thought he was an idiot yeah but then it would always be these things where oh my dad's so honest and gullible right he didn't teach me any of these things but then just in retrospect all these things added up and I'm like he's a shady ████ I don't know how he did it yeah dude if he really purposely severed his own thumb to sue up church that's that's that's pretty heavy why does he sever one of the other fingers yeah thumb is important thumb's I don't know maybe you get more money for for a more important thumb you know what I mean maybe he was aiming for something else but his dumb ass went you know like I

17:48 don't know man damn that's crazy yeah that's funny to imagine that he he's plays piano but he's missing [Laughter] his Caroline hey what the ████ do any of your parents got like two passports and they're always ████ doing an immigration fraud or whatever the ████ what's that dude what the ████ is that shady what what does that accomp what does that gain like so growing up I thought two passports were was like normal and like um you know in certain countries the passport like you have to show like you're you're there or you're like a resident to keep fulfilling your citizenship step status so my mom like ever since we were kids she would like buy her ticket to go back to Taiwan with her normal passport us one goes there

18:39 and then she'll get it stamped uh on the Taiwan one to show that she's like back in country or whatever and um and I think it's a known thing cuz I think I've even seen her go like this before and then people are just like like that like double stamps and ████ and then so she technically gets all the benit benefits of being the citizen over there and then when she comes back here she goes we can't let any anyone see this one so she puts that one away and then she comes back in instead of going through like the Foreigner line she still has her blue passport so she comes in through the citizen line so it's way faster she just have to answer all those ████ questions or whatever and it's just always been like this thing and then if she ever wants to like visit China because China wants Taiwan to be a part of it so they have a very open policy like you don't have to get a Visa or whatever so if she ever wants to go to China CH then she goes and she goes

19:30 to Taiwan brings her green passport cuz the Taiwanese one is green goes to China with the green one cuz they all see like the same people and then she just knows which ones to bust out that just sounds efficient go wherever but I think a lot of countries are not supposed to have like dual citizenship well it depends on the law like cuz the the UK in the US you can in Japan in the US you can't so it depends on the laws of uh the country well my mom's specifically telling me no one should see this one [Laughter] that's pretty gangster I didn't know that she's always doing that she's a ████ CIA dude or maybe like it'll just attract more like too many questions huh if someone sees it I don't know damn I want to collect passports and then like one time my mom helped me she was like ████ we got to get your grandparents back because uh I think they have either like permanent resident

20:22 or green card or passport or something she's like but ████ they've been out of country for too long so they if you go through the normal way they're going to get stopped and like what the hell is going on with with all this so my mom had me fly to Taiwan one time literally go there and be in Taiwan for an hour or two to intercept them and then fly back so imagine going a 13-hour flight there and then immediately 13-hour flight back that way I can go pick up my grandparents fly back and because you know you only have to you can get checked in through customs per household I have my blue one so I go in and then I just bring them straight in so they don't have to go through wow and and it was just that was just like the norm to like that's worth doing huh doing that kind of fcking you're a human Smuggler sh human trafficking oneone with Mark damn you trafficked your grandparents did did the

21:13 um dry cleaners business did your parents ever be like check this out Anthony we ain't even going to clean it just P it something like like this pool ain't going to look what I would do is every Dr CLE has got that sign that says like close it or left here after 90 days like we're not responsible for so I sometimes as a kid just be like checking the you know on the machine I'd be like looking at the date because i' be like can't wait to wear it I'll be shopping bro that's why you so stylish dude it's as a wrinkle dude yeah that's why your style is so versatile one of my favorite things my mom taught me was movie hopping yes my dad too movie you time it out perfectly so that way you as soon as you're done with one movie you just go see the next movie and I remember the very first couple of times i' be embarrassed though cuz i' be like w what are we do shut up sh wow we never went in there cuz that's the Devil's Playground you used to do that all the

22:04 time I forgot about that that that was a thing it was so fun so fun were were you allowed to go to movies uh sort of yeah it depend it depend what movies I the first movie I ever went to in the theaters was like but I was like seventh grade or eighth grade six cents oh damn that's a scary one I think that was the first one I saw by myself I see de people they're everywhere the first movie I ever saw was a ventur that's sick in the theater my [Music]

22:55 brain

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