0:00 what I'm talking about like making out with a man Hearts already did that I'm not making up that's too easy come on yeah that's too easy no that's the hardest part yeah that's very intimate yeah imagine kids [Music] welcome everybody to another amazing episode of the careful boys and today we have silent Mike back in the seat oh yeah are we doing off the records we are doing it off the Record where we are currently uh on the record off the Record excellent you Rebel so we just asked one of our lovely patients in our live stream to give us an off the Record prompt and this is The Prompt if you had 24 hours left to
0:50 live what would you do I'm so boring I have no ambitions for reals kinda what would you do would you be like I'll do it probably like a buffet deal something you know I like eat till you stuff yeah I probably go like pizza buffet Chinese buffet that's your first thought what are you trying to jump on an airplane or something that's not even like family yeah yeah mom's coming to the buffet with me okay would you or like whip a car around that'd be cool go like 800 miles per hour or something go fight still Ferrari would you spend any of that time taking a nap I hate naps I don't know how do you hate a nap I never heard of such a thing I love it against them I wake up grumpy I wake up grumpy and I wake up tired that means you're sleep deprived no I sleep what you're gonna die anyways you should die grumpy yeah I sleep hella good I sleep like 10 hours a night wow oh that
1:40 that means you're over sleeping are you gonna like are you gonna like try drugs you've never tried before oh maybe everyone says shrooms are cool shoes are cool but that might last you a few hours so well I'll be driving a Rari with shrooms on who cares I'm about to die so you really if you had 24 hours to Live you wouldn't change a single thing I I'm just not that ambitious with crazy ████ because everyone's like oh I want to go like ride an elephant or something like wow there's not even that way I wrote an elephant there's not that one chick out there that you're gonna be like I'm gonna hit her up today all fun like yeah Megan Fox's house or something that'd be cool on the Rari on shrooms oh ████ pull up yeah you know can you do that for the Make-A-Wish round I think they should have a wait makeup for an adult station yeah for adults like who would you like to ████ you're like you know what I've been I've been wanting to ████ Megan Kelly she's the Republican reporter
2:31 you Transformers I was like it's either Megan Fox or Machine Gun Kelly no it's Megan Kelly you guys better come with some hot ass answers if you're judging mine you got a hot ass yeah you guys fake dude I'm gonna tell you I'll tell you what was going on in my brain yeah you want to hear what's going on in my brain so the first thing that I started thinking about is am I gonna be a planner or a what the ████ did you just say a planner you have to be on your last day so for example am I okay I got 24 hours right am I a ████ a Winger a Winger or a planner Winger these I don't think those are words dude you gotta listen all right the doctor goes we only got 24 hours to live Mike yeah a Winger just starts winging it
3:23 right yeah no I understand the concept You Toby don't know these words I don't think Winger is a ████ concept a word a planner is like okay chill give me two hours to plan my next 22 hours you wasted two hours there's left there's left Wingers in right wing a soccer and hockey oh and politics so I was thinking am I would I wing it or would I plan it that's what I was thinking about first I didn't go blank you're building a plan to build a plan do you because I'll tell you what I was trying to do okay I was like okay I think I might have to plan because I want to try to cram 30 hours within 24 hours so what can I do to really maximize and then at the 23rd and 55 minute Mark I'm gonna have cocaine I'm gonna have the guy with
4:14 the clits all that ████ because I'm gonna be like ████ you doctor I'm gonna see if I can stay awake somehow at the last 24th hour so right when the doctor's like okay and three well who says two doctors give me all this ████ ████ heroin everything and then I'll see you like oh if I can ████ beat this 24. he dies in one hour instead of 24 I hope you lived but then and see if I could beat that motherfucker's neckline I showed you I Live 24 hours five hours what did you do in those planned ass 30 hours though what's that what'd you do in your plan 30 hours what are you talking about you had 30 hours planned into 22 hours no The Rock The Rock type ████ like yeah I get a haircut while I'm in the train that's two things and you have to put it on Instagram otherwise the world doesn't know how cool you are yeah that's why I use the two hours to make
5:05 my 22 hours last 30 hours that's what I was thinking about so you double up on experiences or maybe I just wing it I don't know so what's a good pairing of experiences so you get a haircut on a train would you get a massage on a boat that sounds fun all right I'd like to be you guys are brilliant would you like what you got a haircut thousand haircuts and I've lived 30 years you guys judge stuff I get a facial at the mall I'll turn on the late Late Show maybe watch David Letterman see you know most most people most people be like oh I want to do the things that I never experienced before but I'm not a low life like you guys so look at this what I would do is I would
5:55 be used for people like something dangerous where it's like oh someone's gonna die but they gotta do it and I'll be like I'll ████ volunteer because like I remember um you know the nuclear spill yeah the nuclear spill in ████ Fukushima some people had to clean up that ████ and then they're like if you do it though your family will be taken care of we'll give you this about so then they just literally sacrificed themselves to do it and some people that had terminal illnesses they're just like well ████ it I'm gonna die off cancer anyway so they went and cleaned up all the nuclears very Japanese yes but before but what I would do is um right before I got a radioactive body I'd ask for a triple ████ one on the Dick one on the ball and one
6:47 on the ass oh three ways oh it's a three for one what's your position yeah where are you are you a Jeep Wrangler you got your ankles tied up you're upside down I'm doing come to me but with my legs yeah and glowing yeah that would be every every night so on the daytime every night you got 24 hours one night yeah shift workers coming in every shift every four hour shift every night so so I get I'm not right I nut and then I go out and I do some humanitarian ████ you know I'm cleaning up the ████ toxic waste with the mop and ████ that's all you have to do and then I go into the the blow job Room everybody who's blowing you is getting terminally ill now yeah I guess I thought it's not like AIDS bro you can't contract it from that I thought we were all dying not just me no just you you're allowed yeah you know
7:37 what I mean I thought the apocalypse was coming that's why I'm doing shrooms in the Rari but that's dangerous yeah you took it as the whole world I thought the world's exploded so self-centered no shape of the entire world I thought we were all dead I thought we were all dead otherwise I'm on Jody I'm sweeping up toxins or some dog ████ I guess I'm adopting every dog in the world and finding them homes or some ████ I'm about to take care of them and you know in 24 hours every every gunfight that's going down I'm just eating them just saving lives you gotta be like you want to be that guy that's like already bit by the zombie so you're like I'll take it for the team you guys go run running towards the zombies instead of a way you be that guy what would you guys do I'll probably clean up nuclear waste I
8:27 think yeah see we're good guys we're good guys yeah definitely Bart's only getting a ████ haircut on a train I'm I'm probably gonna do some wild drug like Ayahuasca yeah but why because you're gonna be already high when you die yeah but because like there's that maybe there's this concept or this idea that if you your life enters a different frequency of understanding maybe the way that you transition into death won't be so like that's true yeah it's not like the dichotomy just life and death you know what I mean yeah there's almost like something Beyond life that you've experienced and maybe there's something Beyond debt that you welcome yourself into when you get into it that's what scares me because I feel like if I'm on Ayahuasca right then my body teleports and when I come back there's nobody to receive me back and then I'm lost into as a ghost oh that's also a different
9:20 kind of deep because I'm like where's my body at oh man and then like when you're high you're just so hot so you're like out of your body you come back where's my body it's ████ hanging upside down getting eaten out in their ████ Direction yeah that's that'll be cool and two on the nipples see he's compressing time too yeah would you guys make fun of me and ████ that's official that's what's compressing all the time compressing time is an accusations funny what would you do I think I would I would want to try drugs I think too oh yeah you're sober never done anything anything what's the first one you would try what do you suggests is good for you think he'll do it like once every hour like no I would just do one thing that I think because I mean my tolerance is probably super fun if you do a little bit of Adderall it'll probably like it'll make your day it'll make your day go like it starts writing an essay
10:12 you'd be really cool if you had to choose one smoke some crack probably I didn't craft the best one that's why it's so addictive what about heroin you think heroines no I think heroin's it yeah heroin's like point of no return Ray Charles or yeah all those guys be taking those crazy now that you said Adderall for some reason that makes me think of all the ████ logistical ████ and this is a boring practical answer but if I had 24 hours for real to live all the things I never took care of that I have to take care of before my family suffers you're gonna write a will yeah I bet you the last 24 hours I'm gonna just ████ end up doing ████ to make it easier for my family all the responsible ████ all the task things you know what I mean like we want to spend time went through hell of ████ because ████ wasn't like cleaned up and taken care of or like you know the next person yeah yeah Dad that stuff is crazy annoying but yeah I don't have a will you know I haven't ████ put one of those things in yeah and you probably want to spend time with your wife oh no yeah I would want to do
11:03 that and then and then at the last at the very last like few minutes I'd want to like Freestyle a last song and die in the middle of it oh so and record it and then have it be like oh that's what I want a tight rope that's tired with the audience of your your closest friends and family or no like that's a sick ass recording because there's no recording of anybody ever playing piano and then if it ended on the wrong note oh then I'll come back to life how poetic would that be if his head drops on the right key oh ████ that should be tight yeah I think it'd be really cool or he's like singing to it and then the last words then I'm out what the hell TLC song am I singing he's rapping I'm out mic drop body drop crisscross the acoustic version he turned clothes backwards first yeah
11:53 that'd be cool that's a good practical one so I'll get haircut on the train and then and then I'll plan it while I'm getting the hair if you're married isn't it simple yeah I think they just was the wifey I think the law is pretty simple when you're married there's that stuff she don't know my crypto keys but yeah exactly there's just ████ oh yeah there's just so much ████ yeah my Gmail account do you all have life insurance everybody I think I do I do I think I got scammable you can collect on it when your terminal you don't have to die yeah I think you can clicked on it depending on the way yeah I could buy collect on it now and buy that Rory sorry what'd you say I said Ryan's wild why do you guys have life insurance just in case I die because I'm not Immortal I don't know why my mom got it for me when my dad died ████ maybe I should get life insurance well you don't have it the fact that Joe doesn't have life insurance like that's a dangerous concept well maybe because I live the
12:44 way I do the ████ insurance companies won't take me it does get weird as you get older I got it like 23 in there hella hard why did you get it so young I think his dad died mom's like oh maybe we just do this it's a good idea yeah you get it so cheap when you're 23 bro yeah I paid like I paid like 50 bucks a year so what did your dad have life insurance when he died we thought he did but I don't think he did and my dad worked in insurance I don't even remember my dad my whole life from my 20s got foggy I don't remember damn trauma will do that to you yeah it ████ your ████ up I don't remember those ████ Rari drugs oh yeah shrooms ████ up my whole 20s heroin I think said though when we're talking drugs what's an honest if I given to you in your last 24 hours yeah probably drugs yeah probably because I don't really do drugs if I had to go out it'll probably be somewhere heroin they say like every song in the 70s is about heroin it's got to be ████ fun that's probably your last like three hours I think the reason why I want to stay
13:34 sober is because this is the time that I have to actually stay in reality because I feel like when I die I'm in a different Zone anyway and I'm probably gonna feel like I'm high you want to hear something gay yep probably the last 24 hours I probably want to like hold my wife's hand and hold my kid obviously you for sure would no I I like that can I hold me or something I ain't got no one to hold you want to hear something gay I want to hold my wife's hand yeah yeah no I get that though yeah obviously you would do that they would be on the train with you with a fresh face yeah Tiger's giving you a haircut yeah yeah you're getting the fresh face ████ your ████ up dude it's like it's having a blast yeah that's gonna have to be a closed casket that haircut is ████ up we can't be showing that ████
14:24 and then I'll have a toolbox full of feathers and glue and whatever and he could do whatever the ████ he wants in my head you know what that's actually a fun one yeah what would you do with taika if you're last like ████ yeah if you would let him do whatever the ████ he would want to do that day like what kind of ████ to be honest if it was to make his dream come true yeah I'd probably be butt naked going side to side while he's throwing ninja stars so you don't think in the future he would feel weird that that was his dream come also traumatize him but it's like this is my last day but I want this for you he would love it honestly he would ████ love that's pretty funny actually the paper ones the real ones you're about to die might as well yeah probably real or you hire a bunch of actors to recreate home alone and he's ████ Macaulay Culkin oh maybe yeah he
15:14 might like that oh yeah he gets to set traps that's pretty cool or a three ninja situation dude oh yeah you gotta drink the ████ diarrhea soda oh the diarrhea soda let's go uh me and my mom try to do this thing for my grandma when she was dying so we had pictures of her um old room like when she was uh still like normal before like Dimension all that ████ and then we were like she still had her same like vanity mirror and things like that so we try to recreate it as close as possible so she feels like she's in her own house that's cool yeah but doesn't that confuse the ████ out of it it was difficult because she didn't have you know how old people think they keep things forever but they don't have the same exact things so I think that threw her off because it was just like wait it looks like my room but this thing is offer and when we went back all of the pictures that she had
16:05 hanging she put it away oh so it was weird also are we not all like doing like you know testing gayness in our last 24 hours or anything like that's the first thing that came into your mind um I don't think I am the last part of the video the first thing yeah I was asking for Bart what about like making out the man Hearts already did that I'm not making out that's too easy come on yeah that's too easy no that's the hardest part yeah that's very intimate yeah imagine kids that's that's the hard part your lips is it Morgan Freeman yeah the button redemption not the bucket list oh Shank Redemption kisses his way out of jail I
16:57 think I'll watch that shot on an airplane they're doing like all these like skydiving all the bucket list yeah yeah yeah are they terminally ill in that I think he is but they ain't got 24 hours they got like a minute I think they got like six months these are very conflicting times maybe travel somewhere cool you got a minute six months travel somewhere would be cool but 24 hours you're already losing half your time of ████ there I know I need like a NASA to like sponsor me and get me there or something go to the Moon let NASA Just Launch me uh go to outer space and die up there to die once you vaporize in a second I mean I'll have a student I'm in a ship yeah they're not launching in like a human body I'm not a squirrel suit just the Rockies don't worry I just disintegrate in the ████ he's still in the Rari on shrew a Halloween costume space suit yeah just launch it up in the ████ you know that would be sick I mean now
17:47 we're talking about Dreamland but you know right before dying if we could just get launched into space so we can just see Earth yeah that'd be kind of tired that's not that long I know what I want to do I feel really for the last minute of my death is I'm gonna be ████ Hannah and when I bust a nut I want to die at that moment so my soul transfers into her ovaries while it gets uh spermicided and no post not Clarity oh yeah no you just go tell you everything yeah and then when I come I come inside yeah and it's guaranteed it's not gonna traumatize her that somebody just died in it and then I reincarnate as her child oh that's weird let me be a ████ though no I
18:37 think you would technically that would be your title yeah it's your signature move you know I'll enter as my son and me Logistics wise I'll be my son and me at the same time physically I am my son but my soul transferred in and I reincarnated do you think that would mess with Hannah having a son that's also her husband that's ████ crazy you know it will be a suspend situation oh that sounds like straight to a VHS movie [Music] foreign
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