0:00 he was like oh oh man oh I probably should have told this a long time ago he's like he's like yeah if you're gonna be having sex you got to use condoms and I was like what the ████ [Music] welcome to another amazing episode of careful boys the lovely Anthony Lee and Colleen Leinart wow all right I wanted to know uh from you guys because I don't think we've ever talked about this but uh-oh what was the first thing your parents taught you about gay people oh ████ that's a good question so my uh
0:50 my uncle um was gay and I didn't understand like what that really was but my uncle used to like always come visit and he would always bring he would always like load his whole ████ station wagon up with like stuff from the thrift store when he would come with his friend and then like it was like him and his friend hanging out in our place for a couple days but like I didn't know that that meant like him and his friend were like you know Best Buds and like all kinds of other stuff I just thought that their butt you know their friends but then um I just think that they didn't know how to bring it up to me um and then when my uncle eventually like like this is all during all the aid stuff like the 80s and 90s like my uncle actually everyone got told that my uncle has AIDS and then
1:40 um my parents were just like it was from a dirty needle like that's that's what they said that's what they said and so I was so I was like young enough where I didn't really understand any any of that um but then later on like this is probably like 10 years later or yeah probably 10 years later I remember my my mom was hearing like a bunch of ████ from you know you're a kid you talk a lot of ████ and we were we had just you know we were at that age where anybody talking about you being gay you have to like be like and I think my mom saw me doing that and she's like you know your Uncle Bob was gay and then I was like what I was like Uncle Bob was gay and she she would like tell me and like she was like yeah he was he was he was gay and I kind of ended up putting him together later on that like you know he had he died of AIDS like during all that stuff which
2:30 was a huge thing yeah yeah and then um my mom just just telling me that they're just like anybody else like treat them just like the same amount of respect you have for your neighbors like that we always raise you to have respect for your neighbors it's the same idea and not I was like holy ████ so yeah wow I did not have that from my parents uh my mom I think anytime I would just joke about it because I knew I think once I started understanding that she was so like uh Asian by the book with certain things and that also means like it's very complex to talk about things you don't confront a lot of things you don't ████ you know what I mean if I would even joke around and be like like Mom at this I'm this black girl and she'd be like what because you know what I mean that's just like how it always was or anytime like if I want to go further with it you know eventually learn I'd be
3:20 like well I'm gay and she's like in Vietnamese like don't say nonsense like that you're crazy so it would just always be this like short yeah dismissive joke about it you know what I mean so I just never had any conversation of actual depth or anything with my parents about stuff like that I would just cut it off right away I just learned from friends and school and TV and everything else yeah which which I also just like I also respected my parents their own upbringing and maybe the way trying to think about like maybe the way they were raised you know what I mean or the way they were taught things or the things that they were exposed to versus being like you're ignorant you know what I mean you guys don't get you have to understand you know I'll just kind of like all right so you don't understand but that's okay or maybe they do and we just can't we have a language barrier we'll never really be able to communicate in a way
4:10 that like this is going to be intellectual or I'm going to grow from it you know what I mean so is it is it something you guys feel like you'll ever get on the same page about or even the same understanding about or it's just one of those things like you're just gonna have your thoughts I have my thoughts I don't care if we ever even know if we see eye to eye or anything I think on topics like like homosexuality it's not so directly involved in my life uh so I don't necessarily need to like figure out how to build that bridge of conversation but I'm sure you know even to ████ have a conversation about like having children or or even the idea of like religion you know I feel like those are things that are more I'm still more Curious to be able to like figure out how to have those conversations with my parents you know what I'm saying the one where I did have to try to build a bridge was I haven't talked to my mom and my dad in so long when kovid came
5:01 around ain't no one like the whole vaccine stuff came that's like people felt very strong only a certain way or the other and it was kind of weird I was like oh ████ am I about to like have a political conversation with my parents because I don't know where they sat on things and this I'd be like oh hey Mom like are you going to get that vaccine and I'm like Hey Dad are you gonna get the vaccine and it was just crazy they're complete opposite I'm like no vaccine don't trust nothing Western missing my dad's oh I got vaccine right away you gotta be safe we gotta protect each other and I was like oh ████ this is ████ normal I didn't think it was gonna be so polar opposite that's why they're not together exactly exactly for my for me um mine was I think in early college so there's like this Asian Trope which is pretty true where like no boyfriend and girlfriend in high school
5:52 then once you get in college like when you're about to graduate it's like how come you don't have any kids it's like this is this weird thing and then so my dad's like you need to have you need to ████ start having some kids man and I'm like I don't even have a girlfriend so I don't know how it's gonna happen and uh my dad's like you don't need one you just need to have a girl you have a baby because I'm getting to that age where I need a grandson and then I remember one time what if I was gay and I can't even impregnate a girl or whatever and I would just sell my dad's like brain ████ no you you Chinese you're not gay I'm pretty sure there's Chinese gay people out there yeah yeah probably more than anyone in there just billions and billions mathematically that's true the odds are his brain was just ████ I was just like oh ████ I can't believe I ████ made his brain malfunction I need to
6:44 ████ control I'll delete his ass so he never talked to you about it when you were a kid never wow yeah never ever my parents didn't really talk about like I was really right when you asked that I was like man I don't think yeah I can't think of a scenario that yeah I had a conversation about it or it was brought up or like they explained blamed it you know like just the other night my wife was like when did your parents have like the sex talk with you and I was like dude I vaguely remember it I don't really remember it at all and it was just like very basic and that was it so like as far as like the gay conversation I think I learned everything through like movies and TV and through like friends like that was how I learned everything but then the one time my dad ever like brought this up to me kind of like what he said to you it was like I think I was a junior in high school and where it was me my mom my dad and we were on a road trip to San Diego and my mom was in the convenience store or
7:35 something my and it was like a Windstar Ford van so it was like three rows and I was like all the way in the back because I was a cool kid wow that's so cool man my dad's in the front he's like 350. and he just looks in the rearview mirror and he goes hey Nick uh do you like talk to girls at your school and I'm like what do you yeah yeah I talked to girls like what are you talking about he's like no I just want to make sure they're like you know he's like you have like girlfriends and stuff like do you do you talk to girls actively and I was like this my dad never like asked questions like this you know ask questions about like my day-to-day life or anything like that like every now and then it'll be like General stuff but like for him to go in that in depth I'm just like already like oh Dad come on man that's
8:27 like the scene in Dahmer yeah do you think you're that took your dad a while to build up he's like I think my son's gay I'm just gonna probably approach this thing he probably was like I don't know I don't know what my dad thought of us like I have no idea so and it was like always depending on his mood so the fact that he even asked me that I was like this is so ████ weird but that's probably as close as we've ever talked about and then as far as like my sister was dating this girl for a while and when she told my mom about it for the first time like that was kind of a weird thing because I wasn't expecting my mom to react the way that she did like she was kind of like disbelief like she just kind of didn't really like it did the ball it didn't and it because that's the
9:18 thing it's like it didn't really make that much sense to her she just like couldn't she's like what like it was it was kind of like that what kind of uh what kind of type of lesbian was your sister like the lipstick type or like the bush style you know what I'm saying like oh is that lit up or not really like she really just looked like a regular kind of girl a lot of flannels she's hybrid bro Von Dutch she could do both oh she she ████ rocks she could dress up real nice she's just seeing if there was signs no it would also not be as much as no I'm not sure your sister exists according to Anthony's London yeah my sister's not real um did you hear about that no but like when she was having this conversation with my mom like me sitting there and I was like pretty I was like I was like maybe like early 20s like super early 20s so I and I didn't I wasn't really really good
10:08 at like conversating having these like hard difficult conversations but I just was sitting there in the room there's a lot of crying there's a lot of like uh like maybe a little bit of shouting here and there like just trying to get on the same page a little bit between your sister and your mom yeah there's a lot of attention and then what was the shouting coming from from disappointment or from like no way like this belief or well my sister was already kind of like the way the conversation was going my sister was really a little upset you know so she kind of was just like a little obviously it's very emotional she didn't really know how to like navigate this conversation at the same time too it's like sometimes you're saving face with how you have conversations with your parents because you don't want to like upset them or make them feel some type of way so sometimes there was points where I felt like ah maybe she's like saving
10:58 leaving some things out to save my mom's feelings a little bit you know because my mom didn't really take it the best way but that was really interesting but over time that changed because the way she saw my sister and her girlfriend in Iraq like she was just then she became part of the family and it wasn't really a thing at all but initially it was just like what like what huh like she kind of was shocked her dad take it that ████ demon oh bro like that's the thing like he this is the thing about my family dude like this dude he I don't think he really knew about it until like two three years in years so she would bring the same girl around they were like best homie they were like best homies they'd always kick it so we would always be like oh it's just both like she was just part she would always come over and be at the crib all the time you know having sleepovers all the time and your mom didn't talk to your dad about it or do you think see that's the thing
11:49 it's like it's like she told him and he's like that's nice honey you talk to guys you actively you're acting talking to dudes like I think he just was so he also doesn't not have these conversations either like he doesn't know how to preface dad asks his daughter that question yeah like and it just never came up so like I think eventually they found out yeah once they found out it she just never brought it up he just always like how's that like how so-and-so oh good cool and that was it wow it's like a silent understanding silent understanding even to this day like he was asking he asked me a couple of like maybe like a year ago they had broken up but he goes hey are they still together and I'm like dude that's like ████ old news bro for years two years ago that uh for a guy that doesn't hear a lot of things he's kind of ironic it
12:40 works in sound design seriously dude he sounded effects not dialogue difference [Applause] [Laughter] yeah that's good that's good that's a good time now that's good we talked to girls you actually shut up please hold I gotta get this you know you know the only time my dad talked to me about girls uh it was really late I was already traveling and teaching like choreography straight up uh but I mean I think he just knew that I'd have girlfriends from time that's crazy you already like 40 deep this is talking about like uh sex this is him trying to talk to me about sexual digits shut the ████ up this is him trying to talk to me about a sec right he like picks me off from the airport and I'm coming back from this trip and stuff and then uh you know
13:30 we're just talking on in the traffic and he's bringing up stuff he's like so you know and I've already been to like hella places and finally it's like so you know you go out there you you teach like yeah you know this and he's like yeah and you hang out I was like whoa but yeah I mean you you got you know definitely have fun sometimes you throw events I'm trying to give them details like you okay so and then you uh you uh and I already started to know where this is I was like give you a heart to Christ why is he tiptoeing so much because they don't know how to ████ put the words together you know it's weird yeah a lot of it is like just even vocabulary like what's the appropriate vocabulary to like ████ talk to your children about
14:20 something that's appropriate you know and and there's no way in hell he can be scientific about and be like do you guys have sex there's no way is there Vietnamese equivalent of like a slang you could say I they've never taught me a third grade language oh okay you know what I mean um but finally he's just like okay so you hang out with the you know other other people students wow not even girls wow and I was like you hang out with you yeah I'm me I'm like so then at this point at this point it was like so ████ like moving the needle like every ████ hundred years so I'm like hang out with people I meet a lot of people sometimes they're girls oh and I'll show you that I said that because I was like where's this going you're smiling right after he goes
15:10 high five yeah he's like no um and then from there the second I broke the ice I thought this was actually gonna turn into I was like damn I'm actually gonna have a talk with my dad at like 20 something yeah and then he ends it with going you have to be smart okay wow that's it it doesn't tell you it's always a lesson that's it just gotta be smart you know what you know what my talk with my dad was so his was like once we started getting booking for shows and stuff going everywhere he was like Hey so you know when you get famous lots of people are gonna like you and he goes but you and Gio are strong oh see that's good that's already so death and it's
16:02 what he calls he goes so put the money in the envelope gift to them heart stay with Geo other people only money only kids everywhere else but you're real kids here I'm like he said only kids every allegations that my mom had that like my dad cheated on her I was like yeah I'm pretty sure you did yeah yeah teaching you like Good Fellas yeah he was just like what I'm getting from this is that you cheated so I think pretty much it's like these are all side ████ don't let side like side ████ are cool don't let it affect your real ████ like your priorities side ████ are for money and this is your heart dude I was oh ████ so my talk with my dad was it came like because of urgency
16:53 so so um I used to I used to I used to work at my dad's business right and one day I'm going to the bathroom and I'm and I'm I'm peeing blood oh ████ and I'm like holy ████ why the ████ blood and then does it look bright red what is peanut butter it looks like blood whoa It's like oh ████ so I'm like ████ screaming yeah dude I was like so confused why the ████ women peeing blood right yeah so then um then and I had this pain I had this pain like like in my in my side for a while too and it would like jolt out of nowhere and I was like what the ████ is that pain so I'm not I'm paying blood until then I'm like Hey Dad I'm like I just I was just in the bathroom and I peed blood I don't know what the ████ going on he was like he was like holy ████ he had no clue about it at all he was like holy
17:43 ████ he was like he was like oh oh man oh I probably should have told her this a long time ago he's like he's like yeah if you're gonna be having sex you gotta use condoms and I was like what the ████ he was wait wait wait where are you guys going oh man because I hadn't really had sex so I was like I was like this isn't what's going on yeah like but but he but he was immediately like beating himself oh no I should have told you this ████ a long time I'm a ruined Man Steve got it yeah he's like what the ████ did I do no so then so I got the class so then the pain got worse and worse and it was my first kidney stone experience but we didn't know but my dad is immediately like my son has an STD I
18:35 didn't ████ tell him I can't believe this ████ he was like beating himself up instantly but like oh my God that's ████ funny all right oh geez yeah oh God just a kidney stone right well I was not a very sexually active you foreign [Music]
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