0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys we are very careful boys very careful here we go david so hey hey what the ████ is careful boys we're talking you never know what care boys is the sensation of sweeping the nation that's our tagline we rebranded we don't want to get sensation all the nations we're super careful now oh ████ that's my baby boy you're making me so nervous while you're eating because you're choking careful boy the egg roll dude the coffee was a new thing is that you guys ████ yeah well yeah yeah
0:50 yeah steve just kind of i don't know how do we talk we it was on here when we made it i was just pointing out how off the record doesn't make any ████ sense because we're the most character on off the record we're not really off the record at all we're actually the most public on off the record we used to be off the record on patreon we're more off the record so i was like why the ████ do we call this off the record making no goddamn were you here when we when we changed it to off the record yes right and then we don't ████ do that no more because we're so careful and then careful boys i just don't synergy being careful at all yeah that's not really your branding we always talk about this it's like how the pendulum always swings too far this way and if you go too far here it's going to go ████ there yeah and it's starting to happen now where i think everybody's so sick of everybody being so politically correct they're going to go this ████ way now that's why it's a joke because we say we're careful boys but we're actually getting worse which is awesome i showed a video of a baby getting punted earlier yeah nice which is what our channel is that's what
1:40 our channel got a strike for for real because the baby got kicked yeah baby's going to kick that's real life though that's why we had to go to patreon man but that one was a chinese baby this was a white baby you can't have a white baby yeah because they don't want minorities getting kicked right now that's right but white babies are okay hawaii i saw this dude in hawaii we all saw this dude in hawaii i never knew how much another male liked me until this guy met me in hawaii were you talking about he approached me as if i was the finest ████ on the island and you was the one that was working it re-enacted it i'll say this i walk over the hill and i just see a pair of buns just chilling on the beach and he's looking off on the water and he's laying out there yeah i see some see some nice luscious malasadas his wife is literally the funniest person i've ever met him really
2:30 she'd be talking ████ he doesn't talk about his wife he doesn't talk about himself he's talking about anything about himself what do you want me to do you have to come here and talk about me all the time that's not what it's about it's about careful boys dude watch she comes over here and crushes it better than nick i guarantee she will she would bro so subtly funny so i'm we're chilling right and we were meeting him at sunset beach and then she looks at me because she's real sad and she goes you know nick is so excited to see you [Laughter] she's so happy this goes like yo what the ████ ████ i was like i was like what are you talking about not having your person's back at all it was like she's always burning this floor you know what it is though she likes burning me in front of david because she knows david is gonna ████ set me on fire that's what she likes about it as she's saying it i look at him and i see the happy energy just shaking off of him but i'm like bro you want to ████ me or what guy like relax
3:23 on that same topic a shout out to uh gilbert you're being the fattest ████ person i know and not knowing what food is you fat ████ what did he do he recommended all these restaurants and for a fat person the worst restaurants on the island all you do is shove food in your ████ face but you don't taste it he was here earlier too i should have ████ roasted his ass so everything was tasteless it's just the worst restaurant he told us to go to some pokey place which by the way isn't a transplant town not even ████ locals a trans town de chapelle is not allowed there it's a straight transplant town right he only drinks 13 dollar coffee too yeah he does i thought he was gonna know what the ████ around you know what gilbert is dude gilbert's the guy that if you put three ████ wines in front of him and they're all ████ he'll be like this one
4:14 here is so much better ████ it's about the confidence david he needs to say gilbert eat food it just goes in his mouth doesn't chew go straight down it wasn't true he doesn't chew he does not chew that much though no he just opened up about how he used to be ████ fat as ████ you know what they used to call him in high school it's called triplex fatty.com that's crazy bro and he called his bomb back they didn't even have those kinds of websites when we were kids we just called them fatties that's the longest nickname i've ever heard of my life and the fact that he let somebody finish that sentence before he interrupted them they made high school skits about how fat he was in high school bro they did skits about them too performance and they killed dude everybody loved it by the way triple x fatty is kind of a double funny because it's triple x like the size and
5:05 also triple x like the porn it's really smart the kids were burning him were funny yeah we should get him on the show dude who got him laughing when he was about to cry hillary if you were one of gilbert's old bullies please message us we'll bring you guys yeah yeah if you guys know who he is and you can roast them again open invite anytime you want you know a lot of the fat kids that got bullied when i was younger they were also big though so fat people were bullying fat people no they were like tall so big that if you were making fun of them they could they would also have to run away from them because they grabbed you they would ████ you up because they were huge you know so you just had to make fun of them from a ████ distance so everybody would just yell at me all the way across the room you fat ████ you're like bro if i was skinny i'd catch you dude i'd do it if i was wearing flip-flops right now i know this wasn't my choice as always you were fat all your life
5:55 though i remember seeing your ████ home pictures and you and your brother standing around like you're chubby but you weren't like i got really fat i got really really fat in college because to be honest with you what happened was mcdonald's oh wait did you know about mcdonald's beforehand so my family we didn't like to eat a lot of fast food like my parents just wouldn't it was white delight that's what i used to call it because all the ████ white kids would get they would get the the wonder bread the ham and cheese sandwich i never ████ got that ████ i never got to really eat uh mcdonald's uh occasionally burger king and sometimes long john silvers so but i like that you complain you didn't get a ham and cheese sandwich you had no ████ this ████ is the most boring ████ ever no no no steve when you ████ bite that ████ sandwich and it sticks to the top of your mouth yeah peel it off with it we weren't allowed to have no mayonnaise and it comes out kind of
6:46 tangy a little bit in there did your mom used to get the ████ roman wheat bread ████ yes why i hated that i was like can't we just get some ████ wonder bread we always got wheat bread too growing up my mom would ████ hand make sushi at the house i would throw it in the ████ garbage can and i would get that wonder bread and i roll it up with just ham cheese and like this and oh you roll yo somebody call the chef real quick compliments to the chef which is all the stuff that we couldn't eat when we were younger because i think all the kids had it so it made me ████ want it yeah and then when i brought my food my dad was like don't breathe they're going to make fun of you i'm like why why are you telling you not to break up they're going to call you ████ you ████ cheeky ████ your dad's dope bro that's funny he's very aware yeah and i remember watching uh kids eat lunchables yo yeah yo so what my ████ parents did is
7:37 like so they got lunchables on sale right because their biggest thing was the price and so they got it on sale and then after they had it on sale my they would repack like ritz crackers and ████ at the same time again and i'd be like that's not the same that's not good because i need that like s█████ ham that's like came out of a tube or whatever you know what's ████ disgusting that i used to think was fire lunchables i don't even know they made one no they do you could assemble it it's like cold bagel bread yeah it's not even bagel bread i was reminiscing on it because what's her face ████ gina put it on her stories and she goes you guys don't know about this ████ and she was eating it like oh so just like with her piggy i'm like okay i remember this being fire when i was a kid too went to a ████ van picked one up into it and i ████ almost yak it was
8:27 that bad not good at all it's it's like raw dough yeah and then and it's cold it's like cold cold yeah yeah and it's the worst tomato sauce ever i don't even know what kind of bread that is what do they feed our children that's the perfect example of when you're a kid you just have stars in your eyes i'm eating pizza at lunch and it's like and i made it it looks like pizza so you're like i'm eating pizza well you know what you're in it for though is for the ████ snickers bar in there that's what you're in it for it is that little piece we didn't have a snickers bar back in the day bro you're ████ young they didn't have like a candy in there no they only had they had one single ████ cracker and then sauce that's it and they would upgrade later on they had the pepperoni one oh yeah see that's when i grew up here it was the pepperoni and i was super happy when i got it and i just i ate it again and it's not good one thing that's still good though
9:17 capri science capricorn buddy sorry stabbing it through the bag and then being completely ████ up oh cause you didn't do it right yeah i never could do it right and you had to do it upside down did you ever get it where you ████ cause you know how there's like an inner pouch where you like pushed it in and it missed both pouches yeah and you're just like trying to suck like why the ████ does it work you're too strong for your own good dude today's video is brought to you by upstart it's nearly thanksgiving and if you guys are in debt let me give you guys something to be grateful for upstar upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online whether you're paying off credit cards or consolidating high interest debt or funding personal expenses over
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10:59 upstart.com off the record what were your favorite ████ uh kid snacks turtle pies remember hold on a second ninja turtle pie ████ continue to elaborate oh you may like those regular pocket pies but it's green ooze yeah yeah yeah is that like the stator brothers exclusive oh no no it's like those regular pies those pocket pockets it was another sensational sweeping it's like it's a it's a pocket pie but inside it's green ooze no i don't i don't know what you're talking about dude had one of these as a kid you could go to the liquor store get one right now is it like is it like a little debbie like it's like a small pie never had that i've never had it's like wax paper pie i've had wax paper pie but not turtle pie i forgot they're called this ████ i feel like a dollar i know what you're talking about oh my god that looks radioactive i've never had that
11:49 ████ of course oh it's by hostess too wait what what's the vanilla pudding inside it's like custard and the turtles ate it on the show it's like there's a special episode where they're eating my favorite ████ was the uh government like cherry pie the uh what do you call that ████ oh bro you know which one i'm talking about it has like real footprints it looks like that yeah but that one's like a dollar each right it's like hanging on a rack oh bro i gotta go get some dude crazy man some of them have real fruit man that ████ looks like that's real paint [Laughter] you never had colored icing you cynical ████ you should look like the paint they put on anti-coolers oh do you guys remember ecto cooler yeah oh yeah the high ceiling ic right yeah yeah what was that level the ghostbusters collapse or squeeze it's you guys remember squeezits it's a plastic tube and you open like this and you squeeze these suppose i love squeeze it i think that was just an iv bag
12:40 wait it's a bag or is it a it's no no it's it's a plastic waxy thing you twist off the top yeah it's yeah when was the first time you guys tried a honey bun oh honey until i was like a teenager to be honest i was in high school actually you got honey buns that's that hood snack yeah it's like a cinnamon roll but like you know that's ████ good yeah orbit you guys remember that drink yeah the little bb balls in there that company went down there somebody choked on it and died or something so we could never have it again how do you choke on an orbit i don't know i think like a kid died from it it's like little boba balls inside ████ loser ass four-year-old yeah squeeze it squeeze it baby yeah yeah i do i do you remember the board it's radioactive that's the goal of the plastic don't they do that with kool-aid now they have the pops dude i think kool-aid bought them out or some ████ they just took their technology called kool-aid birds sunny d was the ████ too
13:30 sunny for gushers favorite part was getting gushers where they all melt together one giant gusher that you pull out kool-aid bursts right now kool-aid radioactive edition apparently oh yeah it's like bright colors the biggest thing in seventh grade was when everybody figured out or it was that thing that yellow seven gives you like smaller balls where it makes your sperm come on remember yellow five yellow flowers mountain dew yeah i just added two ████ numbers to it yellow seven baby but i i don't even know how that rumor started but because it's not real right it's all misinformation well because they had yellow seven and ████ hot cheetos or yellow five i'm sorry was it yellow five yellow yellow thirteen and so they they had in hot cheetos they had it in everything but at that time nobody was drinking mountain dew and i bet you mountain dew was ████ pissed yeah because when that rumor came out nobody drink that ████ and it was the most caffeinated soda that you could get i stopped drinking mountain dew you guys
14:21 remember like suicide where you like get ice and you go every single drink but then you skip mountain dew too because i wanna i'll dive i don't wanna keep they can't get any smaller you guys remember this one dude surge oh okay wait do you remember vault yeah was the same it was the same always like the re-ready like cooler surge or whatever drink a lot of that the dopest things is when you go to another country and you get to try their versions of the drinks that you like yup yup like japan had clear pepsi yeah chris i don't know what the ████ that was they don't have that here anymore i don't remember but it was my favorite drink they released it a couple years ago crystal pepsi did we talk about this doesn't it taste just like regular pepsi yeah just without the coloring and you know what's weird if you get apple juice in taiwan it's just like apple cider like has bubbles in it you can't get a flat pan right yeah it's weird your hand is so good it's yellow is it like the yellow can like apple syrup yeah i love
15:11 apple cider that's good only just apple cider vinegar if you guys ever get to go to taiwan and you meet jason chen you'll understand why he dresses so bad like that wait you're telling me you think jason chen has bad fashion i think jason chen dresses like doug the cartoon he has he has one black v-neck that he cycles through 86 days throughout the year but he gets a good deal on it though of course for new people who the ████ is this jason shannon jason chen find a picture of him jason chen is a homie of ours he's about 4 foot eleven he's a youtube singing sensation he's five three dog five three he got hands of steel now nick the ear has been training him at boxing and he's actually helped him out quite a bit because when i first saw him he was a piece of ████ but now he's looking for a man he has a voice of an angel he does look at these guys ears right here yeah he's not a great he's trying to steal my brand new that's a peanut tick tock with his girlfriend
16:01 this is actually jason chen when he was 13. and he still looks the same now that's a 35 year old that's a baby the traditional taiwanese look is like an asian vampire though we're just super pale and pale in v-necks there's no reason to care about fashion in taiwan because it's so hot and ████ humid what's the point they still wear scarves and ████ in the winter that's crazy they wear scarves and it's like 100 degrees outside north face ████ like ████ bubble jacket at that point it's the flex right it's like i don't know it's hot as ████ two years because they like acclimate to how ████ hot it is so if it's like 60 degrees they're like it's ████ cold i mean that's california it's like l.a that's la we're just like oh it's chili 50 here right now ████ that's the first thing i noticed when i when i first lost like an absorbent amount of weight was that i started to shiver oh really you're like a chihuahua now you've never done that before i i think i have i
16:51 don't remember doing it in so ████ long that when i lost the weight i was shivering and i didn't know what the ████ it was whoa why am i moving involuntary when we were in japan this full i'm talking about it was like 20 degrees outside t-shirt and that's all he was wearing yeah i know i don't ████ understand that why are you disappointed we were at the base of mount fuji and this one had a t-shirt on i'm surprised he wasn't shirtless in his underwear have mountain fuji just smelly japanese women underwear just like really walking around and then he just takes off his shirt because he just can't handle it anymore for some reason he's too hot to unleash his muscles his muscles are like because this piece of fabric he's holding him down if you see like photos that i took everybody's dying of hypothermia and bart's sweating he runs hot huh we're walking around too
17:41 much dude you're in the bus bro what are you talking about from the bus to the ice cream store it was kind of uphill a little bit we're not even married to him and he's already the biggest pain in our ass imagine what the ████ that's like poor geo dude good lord he shows up out of nowhere with seven nosebleeds oh my [Music] and you know his videos on you can expect it there'll be a half a roll of paper towel every time dude there was one jubilee meeting just because i didn't want to be alone i just stuck a piece of paper i was like why did you always get bloody noses right before a meeting you get nervous no i don't maybe i take a shower and the shower is hot so it starts like bleeding or i don't know is that a thing yeah when it gets when i take hot showers it's like moisturizing right because it's like steamy and like what is your blood pressure blood pressure have you seen a doctor about it yeah they say like so you can get it from hot showers because it raises blood pressure
18:31 but you could also get it from uh if it's too cold because it remember it's thin so it could happen literally any time any temperature i don't know but like my cousin gets it too people what i'm supposed to do is get a cauterize where they like burn like a like a scar so it gets thick so the membranes are thinking of scar tissue then it stops bleeding also which is a membrane issue yeah how did that is it genetic or it's gotta be jeanette my cousin has it too taiwanese dude taiwanese knows you guys family photos everybody with one hand family dude you know what's funny is that you i could get the two so for me my dad's passed on the wrong jeep you guys taiwanese and i can't smell out of one of my noses how many people got ████ up noses huh ever since you were a kid you couldn't smell it my dad would take me to the ████ chee doctor as a kid don't ask me what that is because i
19:21 can't say that's why it didn't work yeah dude well he would just do this in hopes of helping me to clear clear up my nose and even as an eight-year-old i'm like i don't know if he's gonna do it dad oh how can you tell that it's only from one nose because it's like i can breathe out here oh so you can just breathe oh ████ it's stuck in there like it's not from the fighting no since i was a small child a wee lad so it's a taiwanese membrane what's in there my membrane's too thick i need to give some membrane in the ████ part you got to fix your cheek bro you got to unlock your ████ chakra bro your nose chakra's all blocked up do you guys believe in that type of eastern medicine a thousand percent to an extent and you know it's crazy you know what's crazy though like you would do it and i was skeptical and my mom would always be like what the ████ you going over there all the time but when he would do his hand i would feel like warm and like tingling because you would see his other head he was jacking you up he was like crazy
20:12 that'll work my dad's in the room like yeah that's the cheek that's the chi working right there yeah i was like oh he did that to me last week that's the move mario went to that one ████ chi doctor you know that ████ guy wow let me tell you what let me tell you about this guy right you want to talk about the biggest ████ scam artist i've ever met in my name his name is ████ me ████ all right i don't know his name but so mariel she's also very skeptical right and then she always likes to give people the benefit down she's a little loopy or something if mario looks at this guy and says he's weird he's ████ weird she said this is what he did he goes lift your arm up please so what happened with your grandmother are you ████ kidding me yeah mario goes nothing he goes are you sure he goes i'm pretty sure there's nothing happening with my grandmother she goes oh it's not
21:02 your grandmother it's your grandmother's grandpa wait did did he just grab muriel's titties no it's like the upper what was your grandmother [Laughter] but his rationale is saying that like family trauma things that you know what did anything happen no nothing the ████ that causes muscle imbalance how do you know what happened to her grandma you don't know the funniest thing is that after he was doing the whole grandmother stuff right i looked at her after i was like so what did he say after he goes we have to figure out what went wrong with your grandmother i was like so wait hold on a second he's not going to fix your problems but he's going to fix the problems of somebody who died like 40 years ago ████ this guy this guy thinks he's in a horror movie it's like the ring and he's like we gotta solve the curse so that she can rest but it's the same thing too everything that this guy does he always gives a general explanation of what's happening
21:54 because what's the number one thing that these guys always say is getting rid of what out of your body toxins yes what are the toxins sir they can't tell you you don't they don't know what the toxins are getting anti-radicals in your ████ bloodstream that are ████ up your yeah you're you're uh it's too bad we don't have our shoemaker here to confirm what he just said [Music] you
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