0:00 foreign there's a UK prison um You probably heard about this already there's um they had to fire 18 guards all women because they were hooking up with the prison I was tired they're probably getting commissary 18 female guards that's it yeah dude they're probably throwing it down oh they do that do you think they're they are just like dude this guy this prison has the hottest man they're like and then they all told their friends yeah yo there's so many hot dudes in this game I hover for each other dude who's gonna bone better than a guy who's locked up bro who's gonna throw down hard yeah because they're just like I haven't seen ████ in like 10 years well how long do they last though
0:51 that's what you're thinking look these guys in prison they take wallets and put them in the microwave and try to ████ them you better believe having some fresh push throwing at you is going to be mind-bending never heard of that guys no they take an old leather wallet they slap it against the wall a couple a couple dozens loosen it up yeah dude you gotta break it in you're gonna Shawshank yeah dude so there's um so there's a crazy thing though it's not just that they're hooking up with them that's like one thing right okay one of the main reasons is a problem is they're doing them all kinds of favors they're smuggling them they're in love they're in love yeah it's an exchange bro it's not just sex yeah it's not they'll they're get they're uh they're getting them phones they're uh um yeah
1:41 they're also getting caught because all of their chat logs they're like talking to them via those phones so now they have like WhatsApp records all from the same prison same prison yeah really snitched it was a guy I guarantee it as a jealous guard guy jealous guard guy yeah yeah you're probably right these girls won't ████ me but so ████ all these guys I'm a good guy well that's also that's what happens all the time like even with that one girl who was uh having sex with the cops in her Department yeah that ultimately got uncovered because one guy wasn't getting any got mad that's how it always goes ████ time yeah that's what happens give the guy a handy or something [Laughter] dude you have to pay the tags yeah the incels ruin everything yeah they do so they just got fired they got fired all of them
2:33 a lot of interviews do they visit them and it got replaced by strong Burly men yeah and all the jail guys were like oh maybe girls isn't that kind of sad though to think like what if you you're a person right and you're in love with this guard and you have a thing with her and then she gets fired over it and then she stops coming around and you're like I knew it wasn't real it was just because I was a prisoner and you were a guard yeah you fetish that is me you fetishized me the Magic's brother you're like a bad boy mentally and physically are you gonna talk to me on the outside yeah like what if it's not the same mean I knew she wouldn't like me for me out on the outside to now she's back to being a regular civilian but she wants a little Butch so it's okay yeah the sexiness is gone man how would you think they were ████ in the jails they were yeah they were and they were and plus they were recording
3:23 uh like their intimate times or cocky not always kiss not always like sex with kissing or there was like selfies kiss yeah or there was like uh wallpapers on your phone like backgrounds like stupid it was real it was real it was real love all of them they're taking selfies together it's romantic we failed them guys the prison system fails them that's pretty tight yeah what about these poor abused men too yeah there's no reason to talk about that but I will yeah what's their story that's true are they okay yeah they were used the women in power just totally took advantage of these four innocent guys when they get out they're probably gonna go after the girls oh like like in a bad way sure I don't know like in one of these ones like what if like oh my God she gets fired he's like okay six years I can do this wait for me baby
4:13 he gets out in six years tracks are now sees her with someone else we think it's gonna happen and then someone else was someone who got out earlier cellmate but the correction system worked on him so he says oh good day all good good day because they're gentlemen in the UK exactly the correction system they do a little yeah she gets a curtsy you know man it's a little confusing here too because they say that that um that jail is one of the cushiest where uh the cells don't have bars on the Windows they have actual bathrooms in the cell and their ████ being thrown at you 24 7 365. that's where I'm trying to go and the inmates have TVs laptops and what kind of tail is oh man that's not General
5:03 that sounds like some minimum security daycare yeah yeah it's like a a um I liquidated billions of dollars of depositors at a bank I'm like oh that's not that big it sounds like soft security over here dang you can watch HBO Max and that's it maybe that's why they were getting so many girls in there it says that last year there was a uh there was a girl named Emily Watson it was a guard and she had to do one year in jail for giving head to a prisoner and then what if it's the same jail that she gave head to so she's like no I'm gonna be in with my lovers yeah she's all adult throw me in here she gave head to a prisoner yeah she should get an award what if what if her what if these women keeping these guys nutted all the time made them less
5:54 violent yeah because it's hard to keep being a killer when you're getting laid but then you're in jail you're not gonna be a killer in jail right I mean they're they're fighting and killing each other yeah okay yeah there's jail riots what if they were the glue like they were like really just no they're too busy watching TV and like looking out their window without the bars there but the Oculus Rift because these guys might be like Financial criminals like they're billionaires and they're all like high level dudes yeah I wish I could see what they looked like because like they have pictures and some like high-level criminal dude yeah like Jeffrey Epstein but he has to ████ like a 28 year old and he's like God damn it he's like what a drag sucks you're gonna ████ these old ladies it's
6:44 like filing for transfers all day oh this is torture oh the ████ I gotta pull up put up with like why do I have to do this ugh but that must be like next level uh I guess Riz in a way if you can actually convince a guard to have sex he said it was 18. that's a lot bro are the are the ladies pretty cool everyone knew you tell me man let's see it's like that's like a middle school dude it's like a high school because like at the same time if you're a good looking guy and she's lonely and like and she's a guard like she doesn't like that yeah sociopath very manipulative like you could ████ fool any of them why do they leave the three I don't know it's like even though there's 18 of them it just keeps showing these same three so I guess take them as the uh standard
7:35 yes standard and tell me if you think hot guards huh I did not picture them to be guards that's pretty pretty nice yeah pretty nice situation I mean they don't have their makeup and everything on but like yeah how are they guards for like big prisoners that's what I'm saying I mean yeah I mean when you're taking a soap wrapper and you're throwing in the microwave and you're trying to make love to it [Music] I mean this is like maybe the upgrade of the ████ Center he's a velcro wallet yeah they're like in prison they're like tens bro yeah dude they're above 10. you're taking Heaven you're taking a ████ Lifesavers [Music] and you're looking at it like I'm gonna somehow make love to this ramen noodles
8:27 yeah if they're pill if they're pulling out a ████ Pringles container and throwing socks in there to ████ it like Yep they're spitting in it for 40 ████ hours to shove their ████ into it and then all of a sudden there's a backlit light and these ████ Heavenly Beauties don't want you can't believe your luck they're all colluding with each other to suck your dick but take turns sucking your ████ dick you can't believe your luck come on bro I murdered a guide I must have gone to heaven what are the chances I know right only in America wow this is better than escaping how do you feel about like you could go to prison but be like I'm trans and I could go to a male prison I
9:17 have to try it I don't get it some people it it happens there's guys in all girl prisons yeah no they're trans but it is but they're no but it's they're trans and it's called a loophole and they gotta try it you gotta at least yeah yeah that's actually happening right now I read some ████ that's right only if you are a trans woman you gotta try it yeah um yeah well hold on yeah hold on no you're right yeah oh wait are you right put me in the Czech prison so put a dress on me because men's prisons are infinitely way more dangerous correct way more dangerous but what if you're gay yeah then it's hard to danger danger
10:24 laughs [Music]
// end of tape