0:00 So, the other day I was reading this thing called the arrival fallacy. Have you heard of that? It's basically when it's this psychological syndrome where you always shiny object syndrome, right? You're like, "Oh, once I get a million, I could be happy." You get your relief once you could get this thing. Or like, "When I become a rock star, all these women will like me." So, it's almost like you can't do it now. >> Yeah, yeah. >> to wait till you get it, and then you're going to feel good, and you could give your you could let yourself feel happy. >> Can the arrival fallacy be a human? >> Oh, yeah. >> For so long, you know, especially after like dating this person, you know, you start fortifying this like this checkbox of like what you understand. >> Yeah. >> And then I remember I got out of like my first like real long-term relationship, and I thought that I was like, "You know what? That's because I want this, and I
0:52 actually need this, and it's it's when you're in a long relationship that you really you're like, I know what I need. I know what I >> Are you a double D type guy? >> Double D? [laughter] >> Yeah. That's the the the your checkbox, right? Double D's? >> Oh, double penetration? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Um so, uh I wish. >> You malfunctioned him, dude. >> He was thinking about double D's for a >> He was like, "Wait, wait, wait, wait. What are we talking about?" >> [laughter] >> You broke him for a sec, bro. >> Anyways, so checkbox. I I really really thought I had this ████ defined understanding of what I wanted. And the next chick I dated, ████ checkbox. Check, check, check. I'm like, "I'm talking all of the things that I really thought I'm I'm talking even like lifestyle, you know, or thing that you're trying to pursue in your career, and education, to like what like the thing that you're actually working in
1:42 right now. Like, I enjoy those things. Or like, you live 5 minutes from my parents' house." >> Wow. >> You like there were just things like 10 out of 10 every category. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> And and so I was dating her, and I just could not ████ fall in love. I do not know why. >> Cuz her ████ stink. >> No, it was amazing. >> Really? ████ Damn, even that, too? >> 10 out of 10, too? >> Damn. >> I'm just saying. Like everything was on my check box a certain way. But what was missing? >> I get Well, I guess I needed the check box of love. >> But how does that work? >> Do you think do you My question is for people going back to like what Joe was talking about, where people think they want this thing and then they get it. In my head, I'm always questioning is it the expectations that people have like leading up to that that doesn't
2:32 lead up to the reality? Is that what makes them feel like oh, ████ this is actually not what I wanted. Is it the expectation or is it just the experience of thinking you want something, then having it, and then being like, nah, it's not for me. >> I think it's missing the soul of it. So, you know, like a lot of things, it's like like uh you know how they say like, "Oh, you're you're training your body, but you're actually training your mind." Like I feel like a lot of things in the world are like that. Like the material object things are just like the version of a itch you're trying to scratch emotionally. So, you can get the thing, but if the soul alignment is off, once you get the thing, it's not going to hit it. You know what it is? It's post-nut clarity but with everything. >> With success? >> Kind of. >> Yeah, cuz if you think about it, let's
3:22 say you've been training all your life to be number one in anything, like the number one boxer or whatever. And a lot of people that make it, they say that's like the worst day of their lives. Like they talk about how like I train like all my life I just wanted to be number one, and then you go like you see all these athletes crying like, "But I don't know what else to do after." And it's even worse when they're not anymore. >> Okay, number one should test me. Okay, that's stupid. But I But I do I do you how like the climb is so much more enjoyable than than the constant self-doubt and scrutiny because you know you're supposed to be dope? That's even way worse. Like when when you're just trying to be good at something and you know you suck and you're on that that half of the threshold, any small victory or compliment is the greatest day of
4:12 your life. >> Yeah. >> But when you know you're supposed to be dope or you hold yourself to a certain standard and you fall shy of it or somebody critiques you, it's it's all Every day you're trying to reinvent yourself. You're trying to be better than some That ████ artist mentality ████ like that ████ is the worst. >> That's me every day. >> Exactly. >> You never wake up and you're like, "Oh, what? I know I could play piano really good but my hands don't do what >> But that's what I'm saying. [laughter] >> And then you just go you train jiu-jitsu and you're like, "I know I'm a genius and I can all but my body don't do what it wants to." >> I don't think that's I don't think it's the same thing. I think you have a very >> No, it's like I wake up and I'm like my my soul says billions but my bank account says thousand negative. >> I think it's called delusional. >> No, no, no. Kanye says delusion is only delusional until it happens.
5:04 >> Yeah, I think I think he succeeded so >> He made it happen. >> It's not delusional for him. >> But there is something to that self-belief though, don't you think? >> Crazy people do crazy things. >> As far as like if you if someone can't tell you that you're going to be the president of the United States and everything you try to do is to do that, like it's kind of hard to stop a guy like that, right? Especially if they have the skills and everything to like kind of get them there. >> Is isn't that to even bring that back and not to get too met up part of that arrival theory ████ when it comes to even like uh chasing women, right? It It's that chase when you get dumped you or something like that or you can't have a certain type of girl or whatever, it some ████ animalistic mechanism in you is like, no, I'm going to go get that. And then you arrive to that spot and you're like, yeah, ████ all the doubters. Yeah, I got this. This is
5:54 where I want to be. And then you actually look at the thing that you have and you're like, the well, this is what I wanted. >> Well, that's what I mean. I think that's the soul misalignment. >> Yeah. >> So, the like let's say the fighter for example is fighting for the world championship, right? Maybe deep down inside they just wanted to train fighting because they got bullied really hard as a kid and they just wanted to show the bully, I can do it and you can't beat me up anymore. But it got masked in >> Yeah. >> the the belt. So, once they get the belt, they're like, wait, what the ████ >> Like, why am I doing this? >> empty. But on the flip side, there are fighters like, ████ yeah, this is what I I'll ever wanted. I wanted to win this competition. This is it. And I think those guys are aligned. >> That's you talking about Khabib knocking out Conor and ████ like that. And Conor being like, hey man, it's just business. And then him being more mad afterwards. Because he's like, you that was fake?
6:44 >> Mhm. >> Yeah, cuz >> you thought once I kick your ass, you're going to submit to me and we're going to have this understanding, but he's like, wait, we're on different pages the whole time. Now I kicked your ass for no reason. What the ████ >> Yeah, I committed ████ eight months of training to for no reason. >> Yeah. >> But I think it's a lot of it is the misalignment. >> That's true. That's really true. >> Especially with the girl, right? If you check all the boxes, it's like you think this is what you want and it's probably like but you the love was never even there to in the first place. >> But you had to go through that though. >> Aren't we always trying to be like in a in a challenge in a sense? >> Yeah. >> I see a lot of this in entrepreneurs and creatives. That's why I was asking if you guys uh go through this a lot because it's almost like what is the soul of a person that is >> I accept that I always want something to be a challenge so I feel alive. I never want anything to be toxic cuz I feel
7:36 like like a toxic relationship is when that was like 10 steps too far from just challenge. That was a nice challenge you had going on. Then you guys wanted to go ████ hard mode. Give me God of War mode where if somebody says something wrong, it's like start at zero. >> I like to I like to wish like I'll be like, "Ooh, if I had a million dollars right now, that would be so good." But I'm not going to deprive myself of happiness until I get there. But there are people like that. There people like, "I can't be happy right now because I don't have a million." >> I See, I know the truth of that when it comes to money in that I know that a certain amount once you hit a certain amount like it cannot buy you happiness. I just I just know I'm not close to that amount yet. I'm just not >> to be tested to that point. >> not close at all. So, I just feel like nobody needs to say that rule to me. Like that's not even that we're not even
8:27 playing in the same ████ field right now. So, there's no point in putting this moral dogma of like you I know that but we're not close. So, test me with like Yeah, like you said, give me like just give me like 10 mil. Just just try. >> You said you wanted 25. >> That's what I'm saying. Just give me a little. >> Just give me a little. >> It's a little chunk. That's it. That's less than 50%. I'm being real realistic. Just a little crumbs. We are not close at all to finding that that part where happiness is not bought with ████ you. Test me. I will buy happiness now every day for the rest of my life. It's easy. >> Yeah, I think it's one of those misaligned soul things cuz it's like you're not happy with yourself, so you're trying to run away from yourself. So, it's like cuz there's Dude, there'll be some happy ████ with nothing. And then I'm looking at them like I want your brain. I want to be in a ████ busted up car
9:18 >> You think it's their brain or do you think if you had nothing, you might find that same happiness? >> Maybe just circumstances. >> You know what I'm saying? >> Like >> Like weren't we all happy Don't you think we were all pretty happy ass ████ when we were like really just starting everything that we were doing? >> Hell yeah. >> Just chasing everything? >> Cuz everything's new and exciting. >> No sleep >> No >> fun >> as ████ >> Giggling all night with your friends and sharing one hotel room. Like little gay boys. >> I didn't like that that much actually. >> That we don't need anymore. We can cut that one out for for this part of life. >> Flying fine business class is pretty cool though. >> That is also Okay. >> That's probably peak. That's like peak. >> That's pretty good. That's pretty >> That's pretty up there. >> Give me one more more one more reason. All I'm saying is I won't do it again. >> [laughter] >> It'll make me so happy I won't do it again. Those memories at the time cuz it was so new, you forgot how hard the ████ floor felt when you slept. Like
10:09 I want that level of excitement, right? Where you got like Guys, we're getting paid for to do this show. They're paying for our ████ tickets. Are you Are you ████ me? And then you go out and like people like, "Oh my god, your videos are hilarious." And then like I'm like, "Thanks, dude. I didn't know that, but I like doing them." Or like whatever, right? Like when we went to USC, I'm like, "Dude, I can I get paid to to talk with these guys on a panel? >> [snorts] >> And then like they just want to hang with us? And we get paid to do this? >> By the way, we should do another live uh filming show session. I think that'd be great actually. >> But it it's mind-blowing like when you're doing it in the first place when in the beginning. Then later you go >> [sighs] >> I don't want to do this anymore. So that's it changes cuz it's like the
10:59 the novelty wears off. >> That's cuz you're privileged and you should feel more grateful. >> Yeah, you're privileged, dude. >> But you're the one that does shows still. >> That's because I'm grateful. >> Privileged. >> I like doing shows when I get there. >> That's because every single time I go, "Please and thank you." >> You know what? I'll do a show if I didn't have to uh travel. >> You said you love traveling. >> Not for shows. >> Oh, okay. >> What the hell? >> Do you want to travel for auto dealerships? >> Hell yeah. Carfax. Carfax. [laughter]
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