0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys we have with us today lawrence cow what did we do right that we were able to get him back on here man he's the coolest guy ever yes lawrence is the coolest guy ever you know like oh you're just bored okay because i was like yeah films and tv shows and in between he's like i have no lines to read i'm just chilling you're all fake i'm not really doing anything i'm just pretending it's all social media you know i'm just like yeah that's like me yeah i'm like so you stockpile all these galas and all that ████ and then like yeah to record me yeah on all these red carpets you're breaking the fourth wall of social media right that's like the fifth wall man yep so you tell me i just run out of content and i'm like ████ i've been posted in like three weeks bro and i had to do something you gotta hire people so you're telling me that video of you at that party and you talking to his wife
0:52 was like fake that was one of the coolest videos i've ever seen i mean ask ask bart about it because me me and bart we we set that up and um yeah it was all um fake you were the coolest guy ever in that ████ ad though did you see me in the i was really cool yeah you were like dancing in the background that was really cool you were an ad that was my favorite kindergarten i've ever seen oh so the mcdonald's one it's just lawrence being himself it's for their new dance uh classes online oh that one is like a kid just dojo app thing yeah yeah right it's fun it's my biggest pimp ever in that video i guess so whoever oh dude yeah i like that video we're sitting in the nice chair old spice guy bro that's what we should be we need yeah we should call them youngsters do you have an ideal like sponsor like let's say like like you know what once people like become mega movie stars they
1:42 have like a voice when they work with like chandeliers sandwiches right yeah yeah yeah i love these sandwiches i like their wings mr baguette got better coffee i've never had mr baguette have you guys had food long i mean long is that subway it's a coffee shop that's amazing is i love that spot dude like i don't know how it is now because like coveted
2:33 inflation and all this ████ made the prices go higher but i ████ you now you could go there get a ████ sandwich for like it's like two or three bucks right it's fighting unheard of get one free you get a bowl of fun there too for like five bucks for a dollar just getting anything for two or three bucks that's amazing what damn that's crazy you have a feast for like 11 yep 11 dude do you actually have a dream uh sponsorship or anything like that um no not really i haven't really thought about that endorsement deal no i don't know i don't know what are you interested in you're never like man i can't wait till pampers ████ picks me up hey no that's a good one are you into ████ like watches or shoes oh yeah i like doc martens [Laughter]
3:27 you could be the new men's warehouse guy you're gonna like the way you look that was come on dude that would be dope if you're the new face of doc mars because you know like in all uh movies and like commercials there's like the there's more and more asian presents i don't know if you guys notice that yeah but then i'm actually the skin heads that are the face of dark matter he's gonna change the game rebranding no longer gonna be an outfit for skinheads maybe i can become a skinhead yeah rebrand and rebrand skinheads and me so that i can be because the skinny brain i was like because you guys are like you know what it's a new era we need to be more diverse yeah we need to include people with
4:18 and asians are white adjacent yeah so perfect they're like model minority so like maybe we can let give them a pass you know yeah you don't even need to bleach your skin dude yeah yeah good that's true go get a pale taiwanese boy what are we that's that's how we're going to do it i'm going to call uh doctor i'll call doc martens as your fake manager be like you need an asian skinhead yeah we got one of them are you guys aware that your branding is mainly skin heads i know where you can fix are you aware girls like goth chicks gotcha where are those boots what a crazy realization if doc martens was like they're right it really is like no wonder we haven't been selling that much these days and ever since the product placement on american history x ████ up they put us in a box everybody in that was wearing freaking doc martens at that party i was like dude i won yeah yeah
5:10 but i feel like nowadays cool people wear doc marks you know people that like are into fashion and stuff wear doc martens that's why i can never i don't wear them that's why you're excluded from those are cool thank you dude you got doc martin's on right now he's got doc martin or something actually dude [Laughter] or maybe it's inside just like it's inside all of [Laughter] i thought all of them were steel toes like i guess so like you can't you can't really like let me see if they're still taller i mean i don't know i wouldn't see the perfect one yes it is oh that's you that's that's that's tough right huh no no that's not steel tall because i
6:00 wanna yeah it's a casual shoe so it's like i think it is thanks it's steel toe in the military one of our combat boots with steel toe and then because there's like different things for different occasions and when we first got issued those i was like ████ yeah and there's this back part of our warehouse that no one was why are you laughing that's because i already know what you're gonna do there's a back part of the warehouse that no one really cared about you know and i was just like and i would just go it just ████ suck i was right dude i was right it stinked all the time you look around the office there's literally a boot in the ████ wall you feel like a lost hill you know when colossus is dude you don't feel ████ on your toes the reason why i was like that's
6:51 that's what people would do is because immediately if i got some steel toe boots they're so fun man i'm kicking through i was kicking the doors i was ████ and also every story from his childhood involves him looking at a thing processing and then destroying flowers i wonder if i could kick these apart [Laughter] you should get uh your kids some steel toe boots oh no no no no no no for your house so you can like you know he's gonna ████ my house up yeah i know exactly but it'll be fun one of you is going to ████ it up that's true he's going to do it again you know his guy yeah you know what's in there he's already ████ ████ up right now what is he ████ up these days um like if i leave him in the shower too long then all the shampoo is on the floor he's just like this all of it is on the floor and i'm like
7:41 ████ that the whole bottle of shampoo we just wasted just kind of ████ like that at least your floor will be clean right it'll be slippery yeah yeah just everything's george right now yeah i'm like just pumping it all out how much is in the shampoo bottle everything he does i'm like oh man it's infinite yeah there's a lot more like we'll be ████ uh like at a restaurant right and we all have ████ tap water and then this guy's like this was like a napkin and then like my my water's open you know and he's like and i'm like no you can't he's like ah man oh god damn it dad but then when i look at him i'm like i know what it's you're trying to scratch somebody can't get another water please
8:31 that's good i love that that's cool that you do that i'm like yeah there's three people here but can i have five bottles of the wine way to like you know to foster his imagination and stuff like that he has this itch he has to scratch and i relate to it because that's why i did all the weird ████ like having tourette's but for problematic ████ yeah he's probably gonna be a creative genius when he goes because he's unfiltered like nobody's saying no like you can't oh i do say no what are the things where's the line where's the line yeah uh the line so so far the line is um he so originally he would like draw on my desk and then i'll give him paper i'm gonna draw on the paper instead and then he would like can i use this and it's a highlighter i'm like sure and then he started going permanent marker and i'm like ████ go ahead so he
9:23 ends up i'm like just stay on the paper and then now it's all over yeah so the note so when i saw that i was like the absolute null is not on the carpet or on the floor like at least just you want to ████ some ████ up drawing on my desk yeah so just like i try to like let him breathe and be a person but if it's gonna really ████ ████ up then then no like he wants to turn on the stove and so he could like burn forks and whatever it might not burn forks he wants to get red hot yeah he's a ████ scientist give him a bunch of burner dude that's what he did he was a forge of sword man today's video is brought to you by hello tushy all right guys i've been using tushy for at least five years now and it has been keeping my booty hole very very clean yeah i love tushy um because number one
10:14 i don't know why but when i poop i have a huge variation sometimes i got the poops where you never get the poops where it comes out and then you wipe your butt and there's nothing on the toilet paper yeah and then you even taste it just double check that was really clean but then sometimes you just wipe a million times and it never goes away oh yeah those suck that's why but days are freaking sick because it's straight up taking a shower without having to shower and also you don't use that much toilet paper too because it does a lot of the work for you and all you got to do is dab it dry in most occasions and also think about it right if you walk outside barefoot and you're just frolicking in the grass and you step in the ████ load of dodooki what do you do do you just wipe your bottom of the foot with a paper towel and put socks and shoes back on no you don't and
11:06 it's essence that's what you're doing after you take a dump you're not wiping your butt with water you're just smearing that ████ all over yeah and toushi is one of the easiest days to install you can install it in less than eight minutes you don't even need an electrician you don't need a plumber you can do it yourself so if that's something that you're intimidated by don't worry about it we want all of our listeners to have clean bumps visit hellotissue.com off the record to get 10 off plus free shipping right now tag us at hellotushi on social media so we can celebrate your clean butt with you that's hellotushi.com off the record for 10 off when we do ████ i'm way more lenient right like we were walking to the park and then there's this big ass hill that's like a construction site so we'll go and then like when we walk i let him go wherever so if he wants to like go all the way up to the edge of the neighborhood and go like this on the
11:56 fence of the walls i'm with him like that oh i do that and then so now when mom comes he's walking and he just starts going off the trail into the construction site jill's like what are you doing hey [Music] and she looks at me like you guys do this i'm like yeah we go there and then we like throw rocks at the baseball field some kids man that's hilarious oh like we gotta discuss these things we're on the same page because we're not in the same batch what does geo tell you about that she's like yo don't be letting this ████ dude i think for her she's like i ████ it you know as long as it's not harmful towards him or to someone else just get the ████ wiggles out because like this phase isn't forever but i think worry where are we some people think you're in this phase until you're ████ 24. i'm like you get it out for
12:48 like two weeks and then they're on to some other ████ you know yeah what about you oh i don't know i have a lot of wiggles [Laughter] off yeah yeah yeah what's your adult version of that what i told you i'm like what if i if i had like ████ you money then i would want like tractor wars or i want a tarn feather a boeing 747 so it could be an eagle in the sky [Laughter] tar and feather yeah tarn feather 747 or i would like open up like let's say david has an ice cream shop i would literally open up one right next to him i could see you making like big billboards too of just like you like just chilling there like anthony lives here yeah yeah
13:46 oh man if only you had that money some billboard money dude i got i got some wiggles too i gotta get out if you had if you had unlimited budget to make any feature what would that be man i don't know what genre first of all um genre vietnamese as a genre yeah just generally vietnam vietnamese genre that means anything goes i don't know the movie like a romantic horror film that also is a musical first by night paris by night horror story like they got a vietnamese dude dressed like a pirate five hot ass ladies in bikinis and it's just like wild as ████ they still still stuck in 1975 and the outfits are just outrageous
14:36 it's just like this 20-hour movie yeah yeah or you remake hamilton but with all some vietnamese yeah not like 100 vietnamese wait wait when did i become obsessed with vietnamese people subway thing the food man that's now in your rep dude update your imdb pro a vietnamese person would you 100 do it i've already done it oh wait yeah i had to speak like vietnamese like some vietnamese what you're saying i like hit up tony and charles about like pronunciations and stuff but i'm like am i saying this correctly yeah like you were yellow facing yourself a little bit a little bit i felt bad i'm like should i be doing this but whatever you could you could play a lot of different asians yeah out of all the asians though i feel like chinese can pass vietnamese the most yeah yeah for sure for sure you could play you could
15:26 play filipino too i think yeah i think so yeah yeah you um was it like one of those things where you were just trying to get any role or like that was a sick world or like it was a cool role it was on it was on a show called the originals and i played like this witch so i had to do like i didn't do like these vietnamese spells you played a lot like that you played a woman too no no no which can be men yeah i thought how dare you were warlocks is that the same as of 2022 guys i don't know i don't know yeah they could be witches right or maybe apple is a warlock i don't know oh yeah men can be specifically for vietnamese people and you went undercover or like any asian is fine you're a vietnamese wizard like that's the best thing i mean his last name was nguyen
16:16 so like yeah i mean i'm pretty sure they were looking for like a good guy [Laughter] wait a minute he spoke english [Laughter] i had to carry this like uh this doll or like this um what are they called when you go oh like a voodoo doll and then do a little chant oh but i forget i forgot i forgot what the chant was it was
17:15 number one [Laughter] you don't have a dream production if like someone was like i'm going to give you unlimited funding yeah i don't know man i got to sit down and think about that i would expand on that vietnamese wizard character for you okay you make it already have like an idea you've been sitting on you're like oh this one just needs like a big studio backing and real for sure come to life you know i actually haven't even thought about that or even sat down and thought about like something that's like super big budget i got worried
18:10 i like the idea that he gets unlimited budget and he still wants to be [Laughter] we were like but he's not even he's not even vietnamese speaking but he had unlimited budget yeah yeah that's why doctor strange sounds like a normal vietnamese neighbor like you just have a normal guy down he's like oh man that guy knocked a straight he's a chiropractor i don't know because you know i feel like ethnicities have trends like right now korean is hot right yeah chinese was so 1990s
19:07 it's up to me [Laughter] you can't be in it because you're vietnamese yeah okay yeah but you're not really yeah come on there's nobody's real vietnamese people behind this yeah it's gonna ruin it it wouldn't be active if i'm playing myself that's yeah so that's why you can't get it we gotta get not vietnamese characters to play vietnamese people like japanese people actually i don't know about japanese people they'll be like yeah yeah i guess that
19:57 that's that's what we need you need the first one to be non-viet so that there's a revolt and they go we need more viet representation in viet films and then start the movement so that's the purpose of that movie and then again what's up dog you know what i mean we get all the hitters we get jimmy boy okay because we gotta get all the like the vietnamese that weren't represented that we grew up with johnny bang johnny dang starring johnny dang what do you mean yes okay i'll i'll pitch you the as a fan yes what i think you should do okay please please that unfinished the unfinished story you have on your youtube that's yeah when i get this many likes i'm going to do part two oh yeah [Laughter] how sick is that that's right like what a dope-ass like variety it's wri it writes itself
20:48 they'll be like dude look at this guy he made this whole movie off of a part two that he promised would come this guy has range you know he didn't even hit 20 000 views and he still ████ made it and it's vietnamese but it will after part two yeah yeah that's the twist is that people go back and then they watch that yeah and then in doing that it validates what they've already seen it's like it's like me man manifesting the 20 000 viewership exactly by making this yep and in particular part three we have we introduced a new uh uh uh a villain which is a filipino man this is gonna be crazy [Laughter]
21:38 he's like an elon musk type like yeah he's the creator of jolly beans jolly bee joe's like versus the capitalists yeah right now you know so it's like he's like the ████ heroes he's like captain america but captain vietnam oh right and then his his anti-hero is the ████ the villain yeah jollibee jones jolly who's a tycoon kind of a sick name that's got a fire i'm gonna take my instagram name today you know spreading fried chicken all over the world but in reality it's like sprinkled meth or something right oh ████ he's trying to go to vietnam but uh and then he's like nah we you're gonna
22:28 bring that ████ yeah i'm not in our country yeah and he's fighting back he's fine what's the character what's your character's name van van van friend pandrea fan trends [Laughter] holy ████ what a great writer's room huh dude this is awesome we should create a writer's room and ████ pitch a show yeah do it let's do it now [Music]
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