0:00 The way he doesn't have the capability to do it. >> [laughter] >> Cuz he genuinely feels the sting for a moment. And that's that moment that I live for. >> That dis- that disdain display, yeah. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> See, you're ████ perfect for this guy. ████ Laurel and Hardy, dude. Welcome back to Careful Boys. Hey, fun day, boys. Fun day. Are you promoting your own day? >> Fun day, fun day, fun day. >> Okay. Husband and I have very different sexual styles. Is this fixable? So, this is a 35 male and I, the person talking, is a 34 female. I'm trying to understand if this is something that can be improved or if this is just a mismatch. >> Who's writing, guy or girl? >> Girl. I uh my husband, 35 male, and I,
0:51 34 female, have been together for a few years and have kids. From the beginning, I've always felt like our sexual dynamic is a bit off. I do enjoy sex in general, but with him specifically, I often feel disconnected. He tends to be very direct, fast, and sometimes aggressive in how he approaches sex or even how he talks about it. For example, using phrases that feel more intense or crude rather than intimate. >> Oh, his dirty talk is too abrasive. >> For him, it's this seems normal. >> star. >> Yeah, that's what it sounds like. >> For him, this seems normal and it's and like it's being passionate. So, that's his, you know, lens. For me, that kind of tone actually turns me off. I need more emotional connection, slower pace, and feeling of being desired. I'm already falling asleep here, I understand. >> She wants romance, too, dude. She wants romantic sex. >> [clears throat] >> She should feel desired in a more
1:42 respectful, intimate way, not just physical intensity. The issue is I've tried to gently communicate things like I prefer it slower or I like a different tone, and he takes it very personally. Like I'm saying he doesn't know what he's doing, he gets hurt or defensive. After that, I feel like I can't really say anything without >> She don't want me to treat her like a ████ >> So I end up not saying much and then nothing really improves. I also have this fear that if I don't go along with his style, he'll see me as boring or not fun, even though that's not true. I just have a different way of experiencing intimacy. I'm starting to realize sex is more important in a relationship than I used to think and I don't want this to become a long-term issue. Has anyone been in a situation like this? >> You know what sucks? Is that that's probably why it works for him. >> Cuz she doesn't want it. >> Yeah. >> Hey, you're kinky. >> No, like that you know like when dudes are like that, when they have that like they want to be like kind of aggressive
2:32 and like it'll ruin it if she fully conforms to that style. >> Unless she out aggresses him. >> Ew. >> Do you think that's [laughter] before long-term compatibility? Do you think that's something he should voice? Hey, I like it when you're like timid or shy blah blah blah blah. >> No, no, no. I think he's I think he's in the pocket. I think he ████ loves it cuz he knows she's not into it and that's that might be what's making it work for him. >> Cuz I might be on the verge of her breaking up with him. >> I genuinely think he doesn't even understand what the hell she's talking about cuz he has only watched porn and thinks that this is how chicks want to get ████ >> from jail or something. >> That's what it sounds like. He's like addicted to porn and that's his reality of sex. >> He learned how to ████ by ████ guys in jail. >> But it's like the sub it's like the sub dom relationship, you know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Well, you you guys also say that a lot of times people who are mad and in charge in life like sometimes want to be
3:22 dominated. >> Wait, who who says that? >> You guys say that all the time. >> About who? >> About people paying ████ >> Really, really hot noodle salesman. >> [laughter] >> People. >> We say yeah. Oh, yeah, we say that people have a a CEO fetish. >> Right. CEO fetish thing, right? >> Can't the inverse happens as well, right? People who have no control or ████ ████ in their life sometimes want to be a little bit more powerful in a different place like they own property versus can connect. So that is a a very root problem that they're probably having. >> So maybe he's like a mailroom guy or something, huh? >> But I But I also believe that like people can have different preferences at different times and they don't always align. That's more natural than always being like completely ████ in tune at the same time every ████ day in a long-term relationship. They do have to just communicate. >> Yes. >> No way around it. >> It's the communication but also it's like the one for you, one for me type
4:13 thing, right? If you If you're willing to like do the thing that that person likes, then you can it's easier to communicate or ask for something that you want in the next round or something. >> So you think that her saying like I prefer it slower, if she's willing to like have her mouth spit in or whatever for a for like the first sesh, the second sesh he should be more romantic. >> I'm sure she has clear hard no's. I'm sure she has like a hard no type line. But if it Well, who knows, right? Long-term relationships can can convolute like that space of comfort versus like >> Yeah, this husband This is a husband and wife story, so yeah. >> In a sense, kind of. Like I I feel like >> Yeah, how important is respect? >> they have they're married for a long time. They have kids like Obviously, there's got to be a bridge at which there that makes sense. >> Right. >> It's not like a suddenly ████ Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde ████ right? So So it's like you got to be able to on both sides. If you can give, then you can also or expect to receive if you gave.
5:05 >> How long have they been ████ like this for? >> Um she just says that we've been together for a few years and we have kids. >> They're in their mid-30s. >> Yeah, so it's got to be a long time. >> They made kids this way. So it's just How many years did she go through with it where she's like, "Actually, I think I have a problem with this." >> Also Also, they're married and they have kids, so that means like there has been that deep connection and that love and stuff. It was there at one point. It had to be. >> Yeah, for sure. And the give and take. >> Unless they had kids hella early. Like they were just dating for 2 years and on the third year they had a kid. >> Could be. >> And he came too fast, so he never got to this wild part. >> But mid-30s, like you've been around the block probably, you know? >> You know, especially you. >> [laughter] >> Stupidest bit. >> Stupid. >> That's your It's the smile and thing. That's what makes it >> Yeah, that does make it. >> You're a cherry on top of everything this dude says, bro.
5:55 >> It's the guy. >> That's why he loves me though, you know? It's like laughing at all your stupid ass jokes. [laughter] >> Sick. >> What's my option? Yeah, I'm a player, dog. Like what the ████ >> That would honestly honestly love I would love it every time I lose, bro. >> I would love it so much. >> No ████ way. >> Dude, honestly nothing will nothing will he'll >> He'll If you want to really mess him up, just tell him how funny it is what he said. >> No, don't. >> [laughter] >> That was so funny, Steve. >> Honestly, that's the only reason it's so funny. >> he doesn't have the capability to do that. >> [laughter] >> Cuz he genuinely feels the sting for a moment. And that's that moment that I live for. >> That dis- that disdain display, yeah. Yeah. Look at him. >> [laughter] >> See? You're ████ perfect for this guy. ████ Laurel and Hardy, dude. >> So,
6:46 has anybody here been in this situation? >> [laughter] >> That's my Julia. That's my best Julia. Is that a good Julia? Thank you. >> That's your best Julia? >> Well, that used to be like So, has anybody ever been chased by a serial killer who got in a car accident? >> Oh oh oh, that's the same way out. >> a joke because she was just like, "Oh, f███." Anytime there was a lull, Julia Julia would just pull that out of the hat. It was great. >> I like the Jason Cheny one where he's like, "Okay, now is when you guys riff." >> Okay, now riff. >> That's the best. [laughter] It's your turn. Have you ever been too aggressive and someone wasn't into it? >> I've never been too aggressive, but I've been in sexual >> slap the ████ out of her? She >> No no no, cuz [laughter] that that part No no, that's cuz that's uh under the umbrella of sexual incompatibility. >> He's got categories. >> So, it's like uh it's like I'm him where like maybe I I learned sex through
7:37 through pornos. And uh but through years I've been able to been walk through and learn emotion and learn how to connect with with Gio in a more intimate way. So there is for sure there's hope. You just have to have a lot of communication and take time. >> You used to show with a dick in a pizza box and then you're just like, "Why is it not working? I thought this is seduction." >> That's what I thought sex was. >> You know what I mean? It would be nice if things See, cuz women have so much more power in this space, uh obviously, right? Like literally they they have full They can at any moment be like, "This is what I want." and dominate. >> Dude, we They have the Cheesecake Factory menu and we have like the appetizers and we're like >> The one that's on the table on a stand. >> It would just be convenient if it was like the other way around in terms of the sexual sex phase. It's like when you first start dating or whatever, you're
8:28 ████ like rabbits. The ways, the positions, the flexibility, the surprises, yeah. And everything is ridiculous. And then, you know, obviously the longer the relationship, the harder you got to ████ beg for it. >> I'm on my knees crying sometimes. >> So >> Making PowerPoint presentations. Some say >> So if it was inverse if it was inverse >> Like it gets better later? >> Yeah, like everything was about like just taking your time, slow and honest connection, sweet things, and like that was somebody that you were willing to marry that that person, then you got to turn it up later. Like you had ████ utility belt ████ that you didn't even ever expose. That would be sick as ████ >> But you're like 40. How How much energy do you have? >> Bro, his T just goes up. >> Yeah, his T goes up. >> His T goes up. >> Benjamin Button >> I'm not even talking about you. I'm talking about that mentality.
9:18 >> [laughter] >> Once you give that look, it's like >> No, that mentality of like, "Hey, let's go through our second rebirth." or like, um you know, I'm a ████ I'm a shell crab. I'm shedding my shell and getting new shell. But it's like you're 40, dude. Are you really going to be ready to like ████ like rabbits again or whatever the ████ like I don't know about that. wind? I don't know. >> I'm down if I didn't have responsibilities. I think when you're younger, it's easier to just be horny cuz you're just chilling all day and then you're just like you know what? Let's ████ >> Dude, there was a time when my ex I I tried to do that thing where you're just like overly aggressive. I was like a lot younger and I was like going pretty hard. >> Were you licking a knife and ████ >> Yeah. >> ████ like a like a 90s bad guy. >> [laughter] >> And then and then like I was like, oh my
10:08 god, are you actually really crying? Like she was like actually crying. >> Oh. >> She was like, I got really concerned. I was like, are you really crying? And she looked back and she was like, it's okay, I DESERVE IT. >> OH! WHOA, THAT WOULD GIVE ME SO HARD. >> [laughter] >> THAT would give me so >> I got instantly hella harder. I was like, [laughter] this is not right. >> It grew an inch. >> And then and then I realized we talked about it after and it was because she thought that I was actually mad at her. Because I was trying to like put on this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like we were both kind of >> So that means she actually believed that she deserved it. >> that's why I was like, no, I was I like dude, no. Because she thought she thought I was actually pissed. She thought that I was like angry for real. >> Why did you guys break up? >> [laughter] >> Does she fart in her sleep? >> You found the one. >> I tossed her out the window of the third floor.
10:59 Yeah, dude, I was like, no way. That's It was so sad to see that. >> See, that's why I like to say get with an actress because I can tell Nikki you're not I don't think you're going to like this tonight. And she'll act like she don't like it. And that's how we'll ████ fun and hot. >> Yeah, I think you should go pick up girls at acting classes. >> As soon as she sees you come home with a Timberlands bag. >> [laughter] >> You know it's on tonight. >> Hey baby, these are new ones. I stood in line but we going out in >> Are those for hiking? >> [laughter] >> I deserve it. >> So good. >> Dang, dude. I got to say you got me hard a little bit. >> [laughter] >> As boys. As boys. >> Dude, yeah. That's It was very weird. I never did that again with anybody after that. >> [laughter] >> Cuz you learned the the limit, the threshold. >> What inspired you to do that that night?
11:49 Were you just like Tonight tonight I'm going to ████ be a big tough tough guy. >> you know like when you get in those Every time you get in a new relationship, that's your chance to kind of start a new sexual personality. >> Yeah. >> Like whatever you did you like or how you messed up in the past, it's all gone. So now you can like do whatever you want and like I'm going to try I'm going to >> I'm going to try not being a sub. >> Yeah, I'm going to try this guy and I was like maybe that's like maybe that would be like a thing that we both like and I just played it up and then it was it didn't go well. >> Did you guys do choking? >> Uh yeah, I think so. But that's not That's ████ Come on. That's baby ████ >> Both ways? Like the first time you got choked? >> Like I was David Carradine, yeah. >> Dude, the first time you get choked is wild. >> [laughter] >> First time you're bleeding after from scratches is wild. >> That's That's a crazy >> That's gangster. >> That's gangster, dude. >> What was his name? What was his name, dude? >> X-23. [laughter]
12:42 End the video. >> End the video. [laughter] Don't end the video if you bring up X-23. She's hot now. >> Have you ever like felt like someone was too rough with you? >> With me? >> [laughter] >> Why you laughing, dude? >> Because I was thinking about Joe. >> It It wouldn't be uh rough in theme. It wasn't like a like the theme. It would just be rough in motion or something like that and just be like whoa, this is too crazy. >> Uncoordinated motion? >> Yeah, like you know, drunk sloppy. >> Uh okay. >> Wait, what? >> Like >> Oh, sloppy sex. Okay. >> Like you know when in college and stuff like that, too. It's like a lot of people aren't super >> Have you ever had it so sloppy and out of control that this happened? >> Absolutely. >> Wait, oh time out. Time out happened? >> No, no, no. Like the dick got bent. >> Yeah, like a dick got bent. >> Which is Which is the time out? >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That doesn't happen to Steve because his dick is in her esophagus already.
13:32 >> [laughter] >> But for the rest of us every every thrust sometimes every thrust the penis is fully exiting. >> [laughter] >> Joe, you want to answer the question is anything like that happen to you? Yes, one girl picked me up from the butt cheek like that. >> No way. >> And then so I was I was like this and she picked me up and she sucked me like this. >> Did you meet her at Barbell? >> LIKE >> OH! [screaming] LIKE THAT. >> WAIT, did that a girl really do that to you? >> No, BUT THAT'S A DREAM. THAT WAS A DREAM. THAT WAS A BIG DREAM. >> OH DUDE, THAT would be ████ sick. >> kept it up. >> Yeah, you should have kept it up. >> I'd be terrified if that happened. >> I know. >> [laughter] >> But it's it's a it's a genre. It's called Amazonian. >> And you're screaming. >> Yeah. [laughter] She picked me up like that and THEN SUCKED ME. >> [screaming] >> SO [laughter] GOOD. DUDE.
14:22 THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY VISUAL. >> YOU KNOW WHEN THE genie goes back into the lamp? >> She was doing that through my dick and she was the lamp. >> [laughter] >> And she was the lamp. >> It's the Dark Knight. >> Yep. >> I didn't even get one still. >> [laughter] >> A Brienne of Tarth? >> Dark Knight. >> Oh. I thought it was like a breath to pick up. >> I [laughter] didn't get one still. >> Brienne of Tarth? >> That'd be so funny. I think that genre is called Amazonian or something. >> Or something? It sounds like you Googled it and it's probably purple [laughter] named. It sounds like it's saved. >> I've seen that porn. That's why I pulled that memory. >> Or something. >> I think it's called like Amazonia 2991. >> Or something. [snorts] >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Or something. >> Saying it nailed on the money. It's like yeah yeah yeah. It's like two girls eating milk out of each other's ████
15:12 or something. >> In front of like a Japanese flag. >> Dude, >> [laughter] >> that's a >> I haven't seen that one but I heard >> That concept is so funny. You just add or something to not look like a freak. [laughter] >> To not be a ████ weirdo. >> So you're like I I can't remember it's >> I don't really know though. Yeah, I don't know. >> You guys been to a all engaged strip club or something? >> Or something. [laughter] >> You guys ever been on an Amber Alert or something?
// end of tape