0:00 people already are pausing their show to go jack off anyway to come back and can I pick you back off yours go ahead you do Choose Your Own Adventure you know what I mean so at some points you be like do you want to go doggy style or you want missionary and then you could pick you know what I mean seaing or deep you could watch the movie again and have a completely different path the difference is the guy just go oh oh [Music] let's say Paramount Studios hits you up and they're like dude you're a really cool guy we want to just make whatever you want one project we'll fun the whole thing deal thank you what would it be about oh and what is it like what what do you want I could already tell you right away go ahead my dream film project would be
0:51 a mixture of Rush Hour Straight Out of Compton damn that's TI um and like uh Rumble and the Bronx wow so my favorite John is action comedy I'm very passionate about Asian gang stories oh um and none of the Asian gang stories are done like realistically mhm they're like very cheesy you know it's like some dude wearing leather pants and ████ or like I like no one dresses like that um but I also like action comedy I like that in this world as soon as a fight breaks out everyone knows how to do a backflip I like that and then I like like like U and I like heartfelt stuff like Stephen Chow movies oh so have to be heart Underdog Rises up yeah yeah so heartfelt action comedy in the Asian
1:44 gangster world if I could only do one movie that would be by Asian gangster world you're specifically talking about like sgv yeah could I could I play a role in your movie yeah what would subie play you want some you want dialogue like that like that he's a pizza dely man there's no there's no um fake Asian language Asian guy other than better luck tomorrow did any actual movie accurately portray the sgv gang like I've never seen one not sgv well I mean there's that one in Long Beach that they did with Tai and bang bang that's probably the closest one Sayo Valley um there was that one but this is New York but they did the Green Dragon one with the Kev Jumba Roda yeah
2:36 oh is that I didn't see that but that's a New York guys in the 80s yeah nothing in La nothing alhamra and ████ Elman and all that no but and and like they always yeah the because it's people that don't know the stories the writing is kind of cheesy sometimes yeah it's a lot of the time cuz think about the writers that are in Hollywood it's a bunch of um I don't know I feel like the Asians that get into it most of them didn't grow up here like they grew up in NorCal they grew up in like the Silicon Valley would you consider casting a bunch of beta Ms for the first time ever that would be kind of good awesome right that' be sick beta Mills there's that new one coming out it's not quite sgv but it kind of has this Vibe of like like what's that one every everywhere everywhere Beyond this kind of vibe where it's like that one is it
3:27 called Chinatown no no the the the new one then it's it's like kind of gangster it's coming out or it came out already yeah it's like the same kind of vibe though I saw the trailer yeah the one Ronnie Chang yeah and um they waiters and ████ in China yeah yeah yeah yeah but I mean it's nowhere near sgv ████ but yeah but even at any accurate if it if that's accurate I I would I would love to have like an accurate story like that you might be have to be the only person that does it cuz yeah aside from Johnny Chang there's no one in that world that writes the one that's called inter your Chinatown maybe is it that one that's a new one coming out huh I think so yeah I mean there's gangster elements Ronnie CH and jimm comedy and it's action comedy too like you'll see them like flipping people over pool tables and ████ that's going to be cool is Tao white Titi doing that
4:19 one yeah Wow TV that might be a good project actually it looks good I think it looks really good like the that's what I mean by like the way it looks it reminds me of the everything yeah everywhere yeah everywhere everything everything everywhere all all one anywhere anytime any place that one's a pretty sick movie yeah yeah that was like the fighting too those are the homies the Three Brothers what would you do I would do you know Justin Chan Blue Bay you saw that yeah watch yet I've been telling you to watch that ████ for years then why do you reference it you know that movie I watch no I haven't watched it honestly I haven't watched it because I'm I'm like scared it's so real is it will be I might cry you Will's because it's his life oh that's your life yeah isn't that out in like long time ago it's not in no no it's not
5:11 isn't it out not in Hawaii somewhere no it's not in Hawaii but the concept is the same the concept is exactly what he went through that's why I'm telling him to watch it oh ████ you should watch it bro I would have that and then uh like a little bit of a real life gang got that ████ ████ mother he got away dude One Time Boom done you got it got them nice teamwork I stunned it you slammed it put a a marker but then I would have that with like some real ass like Hawaii gang style and like Hawaii lifestyle that would be cool if we made one where it's like during that era and you can connect all of the cities like from Honolulu sgv Tech like Houston New York well just show just show how gangster Asians can get you know I just remember like like I remember like there
6:01 was like City vers City and then ████ and mopeds will be coming down like seven of them D and dude this fo look like a ████ big ass Monk and we called him monk you know what I mean it was just like I wish we could do like film that ████ and just like the life of trying to survive or understand and then like it would be like that story of us making it to Hollywood and then living the life after like it would be something like that yeah yeah that's how I would make a movie like a Scarface but with Triads or some ████ Scarface but just like trying to understand what the ████ you do what the ████ you're doing local what is the American dream yeah you know what I mean everyone's peing pigeons and they need subtitles because no one knows what the ████ they're saying yeah pretty much hey BR but I would definitely make a movie
6:51 like that how would your Juju documentary turn out I wouldn't do one dude I would do I would do I would do a movie no I would do a movie where I coach a basketball team a youth basketball team okay what the heck talking who gave up on themselves yeah the kids gave up on themselves but I was the only one that that's stuck in and I was like oh there ████ I feel you would just remake airbud but you play the dog instead that's ████ rude okay are you going to wear a d on the basketball court no dude I would absolutely do best of the best I'd remake it best of the best what if what if in every scen the girls of the basketball team like I heard coach Nick has a huge cop dude it wasn't girls it wasn't girls they'd be lying there's a rumor about Coach deck has a huge ████ best of the best team of boys is 51 scenes in the movie and there
7:41 self-satisfying project the whole way it's not it's not my one of my favorite movies but I love the idea of like a whole tournament you know oh competition like all the all the best movies you like martial arts wise were always like tournament yeah Karate Kid yeah Mortal Kombat just that theme I really like it's hard to make jiujitsu kind of action-packed and sexy no way we're making a Jiu-Jitsu movie dude no ████ way there's no flips or anything like that everyone's going to fall asleep you know but I do like Bart ████ steals my ideas all the time what cuz I like the idea of an action comedy right oh really well now you can't do it I can't do anymore so then I got to go I got to Pivot it's a whole genre you could do something you can compete with him on opening night have the same weekend what's your favorite action comedy movie action comedy yeah can you name one yeah I really like Kung
8:33 Fu Hustle oh that's a good one you can't name Jackie Chan Stephen Chuck I already named it so I know so that's why I'm just kidding all right but but what would your world Bruce Lie what would my world look like yeah because Bart painted a picture of like the the sgv in the 9s kind of theme and then I mean yours could be completely different yeah what's the whole like love the '90s and I love sgv oh God I'll probably to do like New York in like the do San Marino no dude San Marino in yeah do f o in Colorado I think you do modern day he's a part of the tourism board in Pasadena he could do it I'll do a movie about Pasadena how about South versus North Pasadena North would win every time the South has they have nothing they have nothing to compete against the north they got the Pavilion no how about you just do a documentary about Oldtown and how it got
9:24 to be yeah let me know when the premiere is dude I'll be I'll be there come on I'll be there got something no I I do like the idea of like like uh best of the best to me I don't know for whatever reason it was so like uh formative in my young brain either a cross between that and like Surf Ninjas like mashing two cultures together like that is always a good win dude hey what's up guys just in case you have seen some of these lovely pieces on some of our gentlemen here these awesome Jade pendants or you may have seen the recent JK Adventure where we went to Jade just remember that the sale is on now if you want to visit the j.co you can even find some of the stuff that our guys have had and way way more the selection is huge so make sure to visit the J Jewelers and check out what they've got check it out let's go like
10:16 cuz I'm trying to really think of like action comedies that you really like besides like rush hour that was do you like best of the best also because it's almost like the Assembly of a team yeah I likey is that one Philip re because that idea of like whole team and the matchs that you get that's a fun time the different characters you develop within like a team so like the South Korean team they had the guy with the ████ eye patch Han right and the backstory of how he killed his brother or what was it was it something like that right yeah so you want to make like kind of like a street fighter or like um I like the IDE idea of teams vers teams vers teams vers teams Nation vers Nation like dodgeball like Dodge so like the Olympics of fighting oh hey dodgeball would be the perfect that's the perfect tone mix dodgeball with best of the best that's cool okay yeah that's nice yo we could write that that's a good idea
11:07 still and he like pumps his ████ before the ████ dodgeball is probably one of the best parody Sports save the rec center kind of movie ever cuz I do love that save the the gym save the recenter save it love it that's cool okay it always works who would be your leads starring Paramount says you can pick whoever you want I don't think I would go with any like lead action really you're just going to new Ensemble Scott Atkins dude Tom Hardy yeah you can pick anybody from MMA no Scott Michael White Michael White jinx jinx you got to kiss me dude Michael J white 100% Michael JY white has to be in it I would love to have Donnie Yen Donnie Yen would be great are you g to steal that scene where Michael JY White's doing Kata and then they're like that's so stupid what
11:57 is karate going to do and he just beats the sh MMA guy I like that so the the winning team that would be your like leads Michael J White Michael J white as Black Dynamite he would be team captain number one team captain USA you know that's who he'd beat said they'll pay the damages it's going to work don't who are the other people in the team I think dude I would hire khabib dude Team Russia you know what I mean I think we put some comedic chops on him you make him ████ you make him be a very serious man but make him give him some funny lines well isn't kabib yakistan from what kabib was he's from where you yakistan no he's he's from dagistan but it's uh it's a republic of in Russia so he's Russian he's a Russian asset why did you give me those eyes my bad dude cuz I said the same thing and my wife
12:48 was like no it's not Russian he's pistan he's inan but even within Russian folks though they have their own yeah maybe the kind of Russian sheia she's like you know how like you'll say that guy ain't Korean yeah but like fully they have their own criteria that I don't know about bro I'm not going to get it might be that yeah the side eye you gave me got me really scared right now I didn't know your eyes would get smaller I thought I offended you sir okay that's a pretty good cast that's pretty good dude and is this one of those movies where like they're all on different teams in the beginning and then to win it they all come together no they're oh I do like that no no no I I would imagine each of these guys are serving different nations and I like having the Nations fight for for Top Dog and obviously the US will win Brother come on I don't want to give away the ending within the team of course cuz even in Enter the Dragon they all kind of came together at some point yeah cuz
13:39 they were they were at different cuz they had a bigger problem but you don't want that they don't want to get drugged yeah yeah no I do like if they're at odds at first cuz that's nobody cares if they don't like each if they like each other at the beginning right you got to you got to have them you need that conflict like in best of the best what they do they got in a bar fight and then they brought them all together and they're like you know what you're all right the guy in the cowboy was like Hey Chan you're all right you can fight and then they came together you know so maybe some racist stuff between the teams yeah racist stuff is good you can't go wrong with that you know yeah I love the racist motivations you want to make a racist movie what do you want to make oh ████ I actually want to make S Gabriel History X no no I actually want to make okay I love post-apocalyptic kind of themes right I love alternate universe like even if the movie is like a be movie I ████ will like alter carbon
14:30 um well it's not a movie it's a TV show but like uh even like Hunger Games and like sliders dude like ████ um Mad Max like some kind of I love it when it's like escape from uh New York yes so it's like that kind of scene or that kind of world right but I also want to make it like games of Thro game games of thrones sty where it's like Game of Thrones Games of Throne Y game of throne so f dude I really like uh it's kind of like these different factions like and and then it's like hard to ████ just win and you have different yeah so um I I wrote this thing called Chronicles of Jalia and it's and it really starts off with a story of a guy that's working at
15:20 a warehouse and you know he sees so much ████ up ████ with the government and all that and he's basically like a radicalized revolutionary yeah and he you know over the years he'll get to the top he'll become a dictator but then he becomes what it's the the Revolutionary becomes an institution basically and then it's like a cycle that happens over again so it's like I like kind of playing with that idea where the world goes in these Cycles right where you think you're the good guy and you become the bad guy it's kind of like Breaking Bad and I want to um I like long form TV it's my favorite and my favorite thing to do is like I like to see how there's these people that have benevolent ideas but in reality you can't resist human
16:10 nature of greed power all that stuff and we make this whole like I think judgment about if I was in that if I was in those shoes I would rule differently right so I want to I want to play with that idea yeah through all all the cycles of the main character get his ass eaten no matter what cycle he's in I think it's in I think it's inferred off screen that he that's yo I want to do zooming on space or if he's institu and IED both of them is getting his ass no joke though if I could make a you know how like you make a good ass movie right and then you make a good movie and then every single time there's a love scene it fades to Black I want to ████ leave the lights on and actually produce a pornal with in the movie
17:00 gratuitous a good ████ porno yeah ████ from getting the rusty trombone to like everything so like a f like a French movie in the middle of a regular movie well yeah I guess that would be Lars von trier's movies I'll take a mplay but like imagine combining the two where like you're watching the movie and you're having a good time watching it but also there's a segment where you could jack off sick dude in the theater you're Visionary no no it's not for theaters he and you can jack it's a ji they break the fourth wall That's revolutionary hey guys put that popcorn down Joe's not about to make something everyone's already seen before he's breaking walls down everyone take your digs out to the count of three right after hearing your ideas I'm like my my ideas were so Half Baked and like
17:51 not properly thought of not really Innovative people consume this ████ at home so why don't you take them they people already are pausing their show to go jack off anyway to come back and solving a problem we were never aware of can I pick you back off yours go ahead you do Choose Your Own Adventure you know what I mean so at some point you be like do you want to go doggy style or you want missionary and then you could pick you know what I mean ass eating or deep ass eating that's true cuz not everyone has the same King and then that becomes replayability results are implied visuals you could watch the movie again and have a completely different path and then you hear voiceovers from Joe he's like wow you're in there the difference is the guy just go oh oh that's the only change deep in the regular mine's really short I would want to make a remake of Warriors but even
18:42 more grittier what nice Warriors is like you yeah you'd love it it's a 1970s film about a New York gang that basically they go into the city to do this big Alliance meeting with every gang in New York and then something goes wrong and they start to get for the murder of the leader and they have to get their way back to Coney Island from I think the Bronx or wherever they started and they have to get through all the gangs to get back home can you count suckers so sick and each stage it's a ████ Rumble so sick yeah and and then the gangs in this movie are all weird they're all like really different yeah they look like a Kiss band mixed with baseball players and they all have bats and then one of them they have a roller skating guy they're all like weird the G corny as ████ but it's a great movie it's so sick but everyone's playing it straight so you
19:32 take it seriously I want to do that again but even greater and even more straight playing but then cast nothing but actors who have played clean their whole lives and are wanting a dirty role like Wayne Brady and Chappelle everybody that you're used to seeing as a nice person I want to put them in that and give them that like shot kind of like Spring Breakers did with the girls like that would it be in the same era too to pay homage of the I would love to do in the same era yeah New York 7s New York New York 70s New York yeah dude the the game's amazing underrated I'm a fan what was the parody was it the was it the uh they did a parody of that was it Bruce Leroy or whatever they they combined that kind of Last Dragon was an a parody of Warriors that similar elements like show enough whatever show enough yeah at the
20:24 is that based off a character from The Warriors or not show enough no that's just a dude that a cool ass dude what that's based off mine would be a horror comedy that I wrote a couple years ago that is called escalator and it's about um there's like a mall in the 1970s that um gets the world's first escalator and um it's during this time of the year called Summer Rush which is just an invented holiday thing but like basically this this likez this like magnet who buys this building who owns the mall he's um he wants to get um he wants to show off his new escalator because he just like got it and stuff and um but the escalator starts killing people so like like people are getting dragged into the escalator and people are wondering like where are people going like how are people disappearing all the time and then um there's a part
21:14 in the movie like towards the end of the movie like these kids start to realize that the escalator is eating people and like it's it's like alive and they go underneath the mall and they find all these eggs with little escalators in them so it's like stranger means and and the the the the magnet guy who like owns the building he's like he's like he's like next uh you know next month all these escalators are shipping out all over the world he's a corpor this is before this is the world's first escalator so by by now everyone just had stairs and then there's people in there's people in the movie like there's a grandma in the movie who's like I don't see why we need more than just stairs stairs is how my gr my granddaddy did it like all that kind of ████ so there's like a a war in the town of like we don't need this kind of new fangle technology we just need to keep it the way it is with these stairs
22:04 like ████ like that going on I don't like what my stairs based in 1910 or some ████ 1970s or some ████ but the it's like a southern town or whatever and then uh and then at the end of the movie it's like the kids have shotguns and they're ████ taking out escalators as they're hatching from this thing and like getting getting moved to this truck to go be shipped everywhere so the kids are shotgunning like these like little escalator babies and the escalator babies's like and ████ like dumb as ████ that's really great the fact that he's selling escalators across the world they're dispatching them everywhere they need to eat people they eat people that's TI man you wouldn't use this freaking chance to make rasca well you said million dollars or whatever I could do M rasca presents kid Fu for like 4 There's No Limit they just said they'll make whatever you want wow you would pick that one over the rasca I would do kidf Fu then truly but I
22:54 already pitched kid Fu recently so I just didn't want to be repeat information you
// end of tape