0:05 Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about debating if our chicks should let us take nudes of them or not. Do they not? So some of these don't, yeah. Really? Like who? Your Nikki? >> Nikki doesn't, yeah. Really? She doesn't let me take nudes, yeah. Because she's scared of like you might lose your phone or Exactly. She's afraid of the implications of like hacking or whatever. So I can't take no nudes or nothing. What if you had like a a a nice little disposable camera and you keep a little filing cabinet? Allegedly I could do that, but then I wouldn't go develop that ████ So what am I going to Disposable camera's way funnier cuz somebody for sure has to develop it. >> Yeah, you think there's a scientist at the Kodak center, bro, who's going to see my wife like doing all kinds of ████ You could get one of those digital [laughter] cameras. >> I agree. You could get a digital camera.
0:57 >> get one of the Polaroid ones with the the That too. Yeah. I did that already though when I was like 17. Actually this doesn't apply because you don't have access to your phone, but do you feel like if you were to ask because you're going to boot camp if you could take some nudes so that you had like a spank bank, but I understand it doesn't apply practically cuz you won't have your phone. Or you you you have a printed out one that you could fold and then put it somewhere. Hell no, they're going to find that. >> like jail and get it on your arm so you can ████ jerk off while you look at your ████ wrist. That's crazy that you said it angry. Angry? Some people will jerk angry. >> I jerk angry. >> That's fair. I'd be mad cuz I'm in jail. All right. No, they're going to find that, bro. They're going to find that. Yeah, they will. They're going to find that ████ >> And then everyone's going to be jerking to it. >> Oh, that joy. What the ████ Are you allowed >> of flattering. to have tattoos of uh big
1:48 titty girls on your body when you go to um boot camp? >> It's a good question. >> So maybe not. >> Depends on if it's showing or not. If it's If it's like in in a t-shirt shape, I think you're fine. Imagine [laughter] having just big titty boobs just tattooed on your chest and all the guys are like, "Hey, Steve, take off your shirt." Just stand there. >> Hook it up. >> And you just got to be like >> "God damn it. Just don't get it on me." That's crazy. >> [laughter] >> Does Jill let you take nudes? I never even asked. >> See? He just does it non-consensual. >> we're just both like privacy scared of stuff like that. So we I just never even asked. >> So you just do it. You just take pictures. >> No, I don't. So I don't even have it. Prior to your guys' marriages, did you guys have like videos of stuff? Oh, yeah. With your ladies? Oh, yeah. >> Uh me and Jill had movies, but it's like on a digital camera and it's just for
2:39 fun for us to have and then we just delete it right away. Damn. >> Oh. I do. Yeah, I delete my ████ too, baby deer. >> [laughter] >> I did. >> It's like 480p now. I got all kinds of stuff. Pictures, fake fake, stuff that we shared early in the relationship. On your phone? You're not scared? Mm, I should be, huh? >> [laughter] >> It's in the cloud, too. ████ ████ >> ████ I should be more careful. >> Auto upload to cloud every day, right? I'll turn that off. Mm, mine's on automatic because I feel like I'm very forgetful and things get lost and it's been a big life saver in the past where I'm like, "Oh, I could download it back." But you know what I did think about is when my phone is broken and the and then
3:29 the tech people go back and take it in the back. I'm like, "I wonder if they're going to take my nudes." Yeah. You think they do? They they'll take your nudes? Mhm. Cuz I'm the famous one. Hannah's not. >> [laughter] >> Sick. You know what's the interesting concept? The idea that like unless you're hung like a hog like Steve Not like a hog, dude. Hogs have small dicks. Oh, really? Hung like an elephant. >> Thank you, thank you, thank you. Um unless you're like >> [laughter] >> insanely ripped and hung like no matter what, a guy's nudes are not quite the same as like the generic wide range all girls' nudes. >> If Harv's dick is out there and everyone's like, "I don't I'm good." >> not flattering. It doesn't up your stock. >> Not a flattering thing at all. >> Chicks, if you if it goes out, it ups their stock. >> Regardless, a penis is ugly in general.
4:19 It's like a weird-looking non-flattering Kim Kardashian, an entire career built off of it. Cuz your stock just goes straight. >> If you're if you're sexy if you're sexy was ████ huge, it's not like his career skyrocketed. No, no, but that's what I'm saying. If you're sexy and you're a chick, you're gooch, dude. You're gooch. >> And girls have so many positions that they could be look so super hot. Guys look like they're always showing off like a catch or like a pet or something. >> So so I understand how it's a one-sided thing or why why girls might be apprehensive to like giving nudes because it's like it's one-sided. It's not like the guy's like like, "Yeah, okay, I'll trade you nudes." Like that's nobody wins. >> Because of us. We are the problem. It becomes meaningful. >> No, we are the lovers. >> No, no, we love the women, the female form and all that stuff, right? Obviously and any angle and all that stuff. But like we are the problem because we don't want to see each other
5:09 at all, even a little bit. Like you and me both, we unfollow people if they take selfies. 100%. >> I I 100% unfollow dudes if they take selfies. Chicks, I don't give a ████ You take selfies all day. Yes. That's what I'm saying. Well, even if a chick is taking selfies all day, I'll unfollow, but >> No, no, you won't. You won't. You won't. Well, depends. >> Not if they're attractive. >> Fine. Burn her account. Okay. Send it to me. Send it to me. Here's the thing. Look. When it comes to the idea of like nudes to me uh even artwork. I think that I think the woman's body is actual art, right? >> Me, too. >> So like so like even Nina thinks the same it's same thing. If we see artwork and it's like, you know, like women's like like breasts or whatever and it's non-sexualized, it's just genuinely like
5:59 the art of like a woman's body, she'd be okay having that on the wall. If it was like a a naked dude, none of us are on board >> Facts, by the way, that's facts. You know what I'm saying? So it's like >> Not Italians >> Now it's not tasteful. There's something there's just something weird about it, right? I'm not going to pretend like I'm articulate enough to understand what >> Like a Greek sculpture Greeks didn't think so. >> Even then even then you have like >> Like Apollo and ████ >> But even then it's like you you have like you're not going to put up art of like the statue of David with a dick on your wall, but you might put up some random Aphrodite or whatever with like breasts and stuff because it's artistically beautiful and like it's not the same sexualization. Yep, I agree. It's cuz you can sneak a jerk, brother. Sneak a little jerk. >> They they used to think that the guys were artistically more beautiful. That's why they always carved out guys and not girls. >> Well, it's cuz Sparta, dude. They were all homosexual.
6:50 I'm super gay now. So if I see like a ripped ass like dude's body, I actually if you look at my discover feed, you're going to see more ripped dudes than you're going to see just like hot big busted girls. Chances are because I'm trying to get fit. Inspo. Yeah. Because like to me I'm not saying I'm jerking off to all of it. >> Some of it. 2026, baby. Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Oh my god, goated. Yeah. But the point >> Nutting in your pants, right? Which that in and of itself like the rarity of like seeing a dude with like a eight-pack is like next to nothing nowadays. It's like less than 1% of the general population, but any girl That's They said that's harder than being a millionaire or whatever. >> Yeah. But any girl out there that just happens to be nude, even if you're thick or whatever, there's still some beauty to it. >> Oh, yeah. Jake Gyllenhaal as him in Prince of Persia.
7:41 19-pack. Unbelievable. No, Jake Gyllenhaal in Road House. >> Road House and Southpaw. Dude, but Prince of Persia? Prince of Persia though? ████ ripped. >> Yeah, but Too close. Too much clothes. You need to get to get a six-pack doesn't get the same payback and appreciation as a nice round butt cheek. That doesn't take any work. >> Or big fake titties that take no work at all. And respect to my neighbors, they're only fans chicks. They got the big old fake balloons and they're rocking it, dude. They buy ████ all day. I see Amazon packages arrive at their house morning, noon, evening, night, middle of the night, early morning. Like it's like they're just killing it. Just buying nothing but >> Whatever they want. >> Yeah, you know somebody's wealth by how many Amazon packages come in. I'm telling you. But that's that's the point. The woman's body is poetry defined. It It's art,
8:32 period. Titties, flat ass, and then let's say their shoulders are broader than their hips. That's actually more artistic. In the in the right in the right body position and body art, it's still art. You know what I'm saying about You know what I'm saying? I do. Even even you go to like ████ the Musée d'Orsay or the Louvre or whatever and you just see like thick ass chick, but whatever, you're still like I could see that as art. >> You see a dude, you're like roast beef sandwich down there. That's art. >> Okay. ████ where that What's fire, bro? That's avant-garde, dude. roast beef sandwiches. What are you What are you talking about? Down there, roast beef sandwich. >> [snorts] >> You're putting it on your head like a necklace? >> If it flaps, I'm wearing it. You rarely You rarely look at any version of a vagina in any situation and can crack up the same way that you can look at versions of a penis and can crack That's true. That's facts. That's just That's
9:22 just how we're wired. penis and I laugh. >> [laughter] >> I don't know about cracking up. I'll be pissed. You'd be angry? >> I'd be angry. I'd be like, "What the ████ What is this?" WHY YOU NO BIG DICK? He looks in the mirror, he's pissed. That is like okay, so like when I'm watching a movie and just out of nowhere two dudes kiss each other, I'm always like, "What the Yeah, why'd you do that?" >> I just and it's not because I'm homophobic or whatever. I'm just like you sneak attack me, dude. It's like it's like watching a dog's ████ give like poop and I'm like, "Oh, great. I'm glad I got to watch that. Thanks a lot, dude." Like it's not fun to look at. >> It should be like a viewer discretion advised or some type of warning. No, not in the movies. I'm pretty sure they do in the ratings. Sure, sure. Not when guys kiss though. Oh, guys kissing? That's the funniest Instagram memes right there. Like like when Tom Holland was getting back shots
10:12 from the dude that looked like Jason Derulo. Like, yo. >> webs, dude. Uh, more than webs, bro. I saw that, dude. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. For sure. You know Green Goblin's watching that ████ too. He's like, "Oh, yeah, good." >> [laughter] >> I just think God did an intentional thing. Made the woman's body art. But why won't our ████ let us Why can't we take pit pics? Do a neck down one. And I'm only saying this because that's that's why it's even like worthy of being a conversation, so that all the women out there understand. It's not that degenerate. It's that God made the most beautiful thing in the woman's body. That's what we always desire news. >> Dude. That's why we always desire news, which is why the the man's body is not
11:02 the same. So, it's like it's it's a one-sided thing, and you got to be okay with that. There's a realistic understanding. A porn collection? Is that why you have hard drives of porn like big time and then I got terabytes, bro. Terradactyl bytes. I have terabytes of Frozen DVDs. I have a public storage just for Frozen DVDs. I even have it in VHS for the classic. >> Just so you could ████ By the way, and that credit to you, that's tight. Yeah, also Joe, take your hands out of your pocket. You're making me weird. That's not even your pocket. You're Al Bundy right now. That's just your pants. That's not your pocket's over here. But this one Can you take your hand out of there, bro? He's Al Bundy. Jesus Christ. Massaging your dick, man. My dick is here. Now we got to put a ████ warning before this video. I was I was doing a whole strip tease. I was doing a whole strip >> Jesus. No, dick. Joe, your ████ probably slanging. But you know what though? The people that appreciate guys and girls
11:54 are just guys. No one Women aren't paying I'm listening. I'm listening. for the physical attributes of a man. Men are paying for men, and men are paying for women. You talking about only He's talking about only fans stuff. Like the guys that would actually pay money to see a man's body, it's not women. Yeah, that's true. It's all guys. It's It's only chicks. >> [laughter] >> No, I Nobody thinks that. Chicks are not the number one consumer of guys. Guys make money. 1,000%. They do. Well, guys are always the ones like taking pictures of their dicks in the mirror, too, and like nobody wants to see Dude, those guys are weird, man. They last for like a week. Relax, guys. Nobody wants to see that ████ But other guys do? Exactly. >> The gay ones. Dudes in weho, bro, they be wilding. That's what I'm saying. Why is it that a
12:46 gay male porn star makes way more than a straight porn star? Hey, but a straight porn star sometimes they'll go into gay porn cuz they're like, "Brother, I'm going to make the money, baby." It's like working night shift. Yeah, >> [laughter] >> and you get a little bit more money. Cuz the gay dudes get paid more.
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