0:00 [Music] so you guys uh see patty the baddie win at ufc yeah and he he had a powerful message at the end that we were going to talk about want to dedicate this fight to little baby lee i love your accent sounds like hannah that's for you damn right before the weigh-in that's rough dude he still won that fight that's crazy man please speak to someone that's cool great actor wow great i don't know i don't know what he said but it's accidental and at some point i i swear to god he was gonna be like try to catch me lucky charms i thought he's good so that's not conor mcgregor i followed the rainbow i thought he was going to say that but like he did it
0:50 that's good way to mask boys way to mask no no um the best part about that though is him like right after he's he gave that interview he just started crying like he like fell to his knees started crying so yeah like he was like sobbing yeah i was watching the fight he's one of his best friends passed away yeah and like you just see him like he's he's walking back to the the back room and he just like sobbing the whole time like you just see it like it looks like he all that emotion was like weighing really heavy on him so like after that fight cultural context wise right so like us you know we're we're we're um we're west coast fairy boys right we're like more like a little bit more in tune with emotions especially in entertainment and people talk and whatever it's more of an accepted place to do that i would say 10 years ago if i showed any signs
1:42 of like weaknesses or whatever people immediately call me gay they would just immediately just be like your bestest friends would just laugh at you and they're like what's wrong with you dude like they'll actually make fun of you for opening up about any any struggle and some sometimes it's serious struggle sometimes it's you're sad because your parents left or whatever and then it's just a s█████ environment because especially how me and bart grew up um you're around like violent macho dudes who also are masking what they went through and then and the way they hit their pain was just beating up other dudes or whatever and it's like they don't want to be reminded of their pain so if you open up then it makes them hurt so everyone protected themselves by just like being aggressive against reminding themselves of how much
2:32 their life sucks now right like you feel like the world has changed because l.a changed and you feel like though just because this bubble this west coast bubble and maybe your friend circle change you feel like so did everybody else but in reality blue-collar communities all over the world are still like this and then i think also um we do have this idea that white people don't struggle right so like a lot of minority communities think white guys got it good but apparently what hannah tells told me is that in her so so he's from um that side of england scouser yeah they're they're they're they're you know like liverpool whatever they don't get knocked out they don't get yeah so like in ireland the stigma uh in wales and like they're they're like some hard ass dudes
3:23 hard coal mining old school great depression white dude mentality right like like no one talks about how they feel they're out fist fighting all day and it's a stereotype but it's also like i would say 1995 l.a so then in that community they don't talk about how they feel so then um she has family friends that it's like this thing that's going on right now where like dudes just can't deal with their ████ and then they off themselves really and you're talking about tough-ass guys like you're talking about veterans that came back you're talking about guys that like you know they're like they were the talk of the town because they're great at fist fighting or whatever and then they all just one day break down and and and and then they get their families get a phone call like oh yeah this guy you know he offed himself and then so she's like yeah it's like a thing that's happening
4:14 it's probably happening all over the world but like it's a it's a problem in paddy's area too yeah so that's why and it's crazy that a guy like him who is seen as a very masculine guy he's a fighter he just won one of the biggest fights in his career for him to have that message off the jump and for him to deliver it with like he delivered that message very well because you see so many fighters that have post fight interviews and they're just trying to like talk about anything coming out with a new nft yeah yeah like they're just like ████ fumbling at all i'm going to disneyland and this guy ████ nailed it and it's i think it means a lot to that community if a guy like patty the baddie is speaking out about these issues you know so he's the man dude that's why everyone loves them that's why barstool is paying him a got a lot of money yup because if if they think that that's like a sign of weakness right and if a guy still do
5:06 yeah oh yeah yeah but 100 they think that it's a sign of weakness in a man that they think is already weak comes out and says like if i say it you need to talk about it you're gonna say you get knocked out all the time you ████ idiot but then patty batty says it oh ████ it's different when someone that they respect says it then it's like oh ████ maybe i should ████ maybe it's all right then cause then the toughest ████ who beats up dudes who i feel is like a tough macho dude then is like all right ████ well if he's okay with it maybe it's okay to open up about it that would be tight if if like on better help they had an extension if you're a tough guy you call this dude and he's like the ████ is up man how you feeling and he's talking to you like you're a tough guy i don't know man not too great that's how they all maintain that language so you don't feel like ████ yeah that's right or it's just mike tyson yeah so you get that soft voice
5:57 but you also know he's a monster that guy that guy is always ready to cry because he went through some ████ like he you can tell he's like ready to yeah at all times yeah hello what's wrong what's been bothering you watching my grandpa growing up like being taught not to cry and ████ i'm like man there's nobody who needs to cry more than this man you know what i mean like nobody who like went to war and all kinds of ████ and like he didn't want to talk about anything he wanted to just sink into movies every night and ████ drink himself to sleep and like yeah like i wish that guy would have opened up because like he didn't want to jesus like that's ████ ████ i've never seen my father cry come to think of it not once not once what about either sister's first uh baby not even then wow yeah i don't think i see my dad cry either yeah just gaslight the ████ out
6:48 of the family yeah yeah i think maybe don't mask it joe he didn't cry when he saw you cutting his piano streaks yamaha i think maybe one maybe once i saw my decorate maybe once maybe yeah damn what was it when was it which i don't remember i just remember seeing his eyes you know and being like holy just well it up yeah do you think um so like our generation is probably the beginning of starting to talk about ████ like this and then like the younger ones are but even in our generation right there's still a lot of like you're being a ████ and all that stuff there's a ton of it yeah probably that even happened until maybe we were like in our 20s where we started hearing stuff like that so even like we spent half of our lives more than half not talking yeah and not knowing how to process it yeah and the part and then only like a minority of
7:39 our lives we just started opening up a little bit well because first you have to even recognize that you're going through some ████ i remember i'd be ████ angry yelling at people wanting to fight them and thinking i'm not that angry you know like you have to understand that you're going through it first i also remember in high school you know like people would like ████ obviously high school is just wild right it's like a bullying ground for stuff like that and you're like sitting in class people making fun of you and i remember um my one of my friends the same thing he got made fun of he's about to shed a tear but the natural thing to like support him in that moment was that hey dude don't let him see your tears you're gonna ████ kill you if they see that that's true yeah you know what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah and it's like that's that's my way of being a friend right and now i think about that and i'm like you should have cried with him bro you'd have cried first maybe maybe you know what i mean like how do
8:29 you respond in those situations how do you like shake that mold isn't there isn't that in uh what was that uh adam sandler where he puts piss on his pants so the other kid doesn't get me yeah is there still a line though where some people are being a ████ dude for sure those lines are very blurry that's like questions that need to be asked because like even though even though like yeah you know someone's feeling suicidal should like ████ address that some people be feeling suicidal over the most entitled ████ sometimes because they because their starbucks order was wrong but almost nowadays too it's like the phrase mental health and like using the term anxiety is like almost used to the point where it's like a catchphrase these days it's like i think it's kind of a necessary thing
9:19 right so it's like it's one of those things where we went we were so far the other way we have to kind of start all the way over here over correcting and then kind of find a nice balance yeah the thing that people say too would be like like to your point um you know like anytime everyone anyone that lives in like a first world country is like crying about some ████ going oh look at like look at that country like you're so entitled but then i think the thing that people say it's like well that's my experience right so maybe them getting their starbucks order all ████ up is like reason to jump off a building or whatever but i it's hard for me to understand but don't we know that that's not what it is by now you know what i'm saying yeah like like my grandpa yelling about how my grandma um made too much of something and so nobody can eat all of it for example it wasn't about that right but we all go oh grandpa's being stupid again but he's really masking some other ████ probably saw like 10 people die in europe and he's like
10:10 damn why am i alive yeah why why me yeah he watched his whole his whole uh platoon get shot up every single person died except for him every single oh he was the last man standing yeah the only survivor yeah but that's the kind of ████ where you're like you know like it's a it's about the thing that we're all laughing at like a guy at mcdonald's the other day blows somebody away because his fries are cold do we really think that that's why he did it like you know i mean yeah i hate cold fries that like like they go onto instagram to vent for like 10 minutes right and then the whole 10 minutes they're venting about something that at least on the surface seems very like trivial like how do we know what it really is about do we take their word for it or like i don't know man to me it's just about trying to treat people like people a little bit more and a little bit less like they're just
11:00 being ████ riri's you know what i mean i've heard that so long yeah it's just like you know because we'd love to just write somebody off and just go like we're ████ addicted to it as a culture we can't wait to just write somebody off and go that's this person there's like that and he's like i ████ you bye and we keep walking there's also like self preservation though right like um because because you will see stuff like that or like people will will pull out that energy where they're having like the hardest day or whatever not just your friends but just like random people i literally ordered some ████ food that got delivered the other day i go outside and uh the guy put my my food down on the sidewalk and he's in the middle of the street this is that night he's taking photo the moon or whatever right and then i came out he's like oh wow you came out so quick uh i was just sorry i was just taking a photo of the moon it was nice and i was like hey man enjoy yourself then he comes by he's like no dude i can't you're
11:51 literally talking to the person who's like the worst life in the world and i'm like whoa i was i tripped out for a second and i was like all the more reason to enjoy yourself man and then he's having his food he's like no i just told you i can't and then he goes anyways and he hands me the food right and so this what the ████ i have no relationship with this guy so also there's also a part of me that like almost uh i don't know subconsciously there's like a self-preservation mode that goes in where i'm like also like i don't need toxic energy in my life too you know what i'm saying for sure yeah yeah yeah so like i feel like there's you know if you get exposed to it a lot too a part of you is kind of like what i need to keep myself like also healthy and in my way no for sure yeah i also think like that's just weird social skills because there's no rapport with you yeah it's
12:42 like it's like a cashier yeah ralph's is like how's your day going and you go i almost killed myself you son of a ████ you know like it's like that's like i mean that's not normal social skills it's wild and it's fun to like go look at it and just laugh at that because that's where my brain usually goes right but then it's it is really interesting to think about what's behind it like i i i sure yeah like they're at a breaking point that's why they're they're not being you know you know like like something that i'm trying or whatever to do more because i definitely did the first thing more in the past what do you mean just write people off well i'll just laugh at something and because it's funny and and then move on i do think that um when someone is close though like that when there is the rapport when when we have years together um to me if they're acting out of character
13:32 then it's like oh something's really up but they can't say it or maybe they don't recognize it and then i'm just like i'll dig but if if i don't see that then it's hard to dig you know what i mean like if people are masking and they're really good at it yeah then it's hard to even know to reach out of course so then if if if patty is telling people to just like open up a little bit and if someone does open up and they never did before that's when i'm like what's going on that's huge but if they're complaining every ████ day yeah then it's like shut the ████ up you're over extending your ████ venting can you mask some more yeah a little bit more or just try to deal with it first yeah so it's always easier to talk about like an issue before it explodes as an issue right like yeah if something was like bothering you even though it's like kind of trivial
14:23 it's actually easier to talk to somebody about a trivial problem to get over versus like you're like oh it's trivial i don't want to talk about it then like ████ three months later it's not trivial anymore it's ████ you up you know what i mean and then there's it's harder to dig out of that hole it's harder for your friends to understand where you're coming from because they're like i had no idea how do you you know what i mean so it's like there is there is that line where it's like am i being a ████ but at the same time if you can kind of like nip something in the bud and you know you can get through it or you you have the support system get through it faster so you can move on you know i mean otherwise things can build up with with lack of communication or lack of just that channel there's also weirdness with when you when you think of the idea of like somebody asking for help in your mind the optimal tone is very eloquent but most people everyone's different so they all have a
15:13 different way of expressing like yo help me out especially when it's wrong some people honestly sound ████ annoying some people sound really like like people attack you exactly yeah they have like different ways of doing it it's never the way that like like when patty's saying it like our instinct is to imagine a friend that we already trust saying like yo like just bringing it out but most of the timing and come out like that it's not well packaged that's kind of like a lot of the time that's like you know why you're ████ up it was like what the ████ and then you dig deeper and you're like oh it had nothing to do with me but they attacked me to mask their own pain like some people probably already know somebody like that and they're like in their mind they're like oh if anybody ever came to me i would help them but yo you probably already know somebody that's been expressing it but you don't recognize it because it's not it's not in the way you is the hardest thing to actually get to the words like hey i need help exactly yeah that's so
16:03 ████ difficult you know it's even admit it let alone say it and manifest because you also end up like getting insecure about the idea of like man if i say this then i really do have a problem yeah i'm vulnerable now you know what i'm saying so like it's a whole ████ slippery slope of that stuff but that's why getting it getting at it early recognizing that you can be vulnerable that's why honestly anytime somebody's like hey how are you doing like i'll just say it i might not be sad about it but if s███'s hitting the fan things are good i'll be like oh s███'s like kind of bad right now but it's not like yo whoa was me it's more like i need to be honest yeah before this turns into something else versus the small talk like oh s███'s cool it's time when it's not you know what i mean right it takes so much self-awareness though because i remember being in that state of mind and getting so used to deflecting so that that became my autopilot to the point where you're you're in you don't even
16:54 recognize that you need help because that becomes a part of your personality where you're really good at bearing everything that's painful yeah and then so like if you're like these guys who's in the macho world um then everything's a ████ joke and or everything is just that doesn't happen to me i don't get depressed none of that stuff those are weak people not me so then even if you do need the help i think it's hard to even talk about it and say hey i need i have a problem because if the problem doesn't exist in your head then why would you reach out for help so i think it's like a group effort of like people being like man is that guy all right maybe we need to talk to him well there's hella branding out there too it's like it's like hey you're a toxic man and so it's like you know there's like all this ████ out there that's like man i'm just being i'm just trying to be like myself and then oh i'm branded as
17:44 this person now and so now if i'm supposed to say something i'm being a toxic man or something like there's just confusion out there about terms and like it's like oh ████ i'm a nazi apologist what the ████ did i do there's also um adding to that is like i remember um being told like oh you could tell me anything whatever and then i open up and i get punished for opening up and not communicating in the way that they want to hear and it becomes about them that are hurt that are hurt or whatever and i'm just like dude we'll ████ it then i'm not going to open up yeah yeah it also doesn't help when i mean like even on like fresh and fit podcasts they talk about like any man who's opening up like that women do not want to ████ date you it's like yeah it's like maybe some women don't like dude it's hard too when like yeah if you're on the first date and you're ████ crying yeah yeah yeah red flag for sure
18:34 unless the first date was titanic too then we can understand that [Music] do
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