0:00 [Music] welcome back to another godforsaken video of the careful boys well we have Jared and Dr [Applause] Michael today contrary to the last one what do you get the most compliments about oh oh like it could be physical it could be anything personality based characteristic it could it could even be a lie right be a lie people say to me that you have a nice t-shirt on no one's ever complimented me you know what's crazy I'm so ████ Asian the minute I hear the start of a compliment my ears just shut off like I
0:50 don't deserve it I think they're lying huh I think they're lying trying to make you feel better yeah and I'm like shut the ████ up I feel like a piece of ████ inside my own head don't you ████ ████ with that reality don't you ████ with that real keeps me hungry I get more do something I don't know gratitude from fans then I get compliments so like lately I've been running into fans that's watched us when they were kids cuz this is like our 16th year now Dam you guys are like an institution I'm one of those yeah so then they would be like they're like ████ I remember and then I would get a lot of thank you for being a part of my childhood you made it crazy and I remember I had so many great memories watching your videos and me and my friends playing and acting it out and all that stuff my Airbnb host really who happens to be a cherry uh she's a JK fan
1:43 no way she saw she saw you on JK news she saw you on JK news and you led with that I said I better see you in the comments that's tight that's smooth that's good ma chees moo cheeso I don't know if that's a compliment but I do feel like it's something around the same vicinity of a compliment I don't know yeah there's people I meet that like I watched it when I was 8 and I'm 24 now and I'm like shut up don't remind me how old I'm I got I got a complo I finally got yeah finally what ████ are you about to say I don't want to hear about no no construction tools I don't want to hear about it for the record Jared is my literal biological that's the only compliment you ever get your son is ████ great man the best compliment I ever heard God
2:33 damn your son can throw a ████ football that's right um no I was uh uh told on many occasions and it it at first it felt good and then later hearing this felt great um if you say some ████ about cingus I'm G punch you in the face cuz you're full of ████ keep going it was very close advertis Mike the ladies would start oh my ████ Mike oh my God you it's not the smallest I've ever seen the most at Apex tip top of the mountain you know what I'm saying when the clouds like this and you're like cuz you're more tip with the spear like they send steel Team Six type of ████ you give me the most below average mediocre sex I have ever
3:24 had and I'm talking about you want to feel good about the ████ you're like all right L you did no you didn't that was that was and it wasn't a the best of the be you can't even cuz like you're a ████ that gets laid you're going to tell your girlfriends at brunch that's what brunch is for telling the other ho some that's the worst part you're going to tell your your ████ about like yo this ████ plowed me under he had snake tongue did some Demon ████ your girl was up doing this ████ that you can say then you could say yo small wrinkled dick ████ ████ little ████ he sucked he begged for for I denied him I kicked him out that's funny how do you explain when they're like how was it she's just like all right like it's clear that I'm trying but just not much is happening but something happening so she I get her on that that where she's like oo okay
4:16 but then I'm like that that's all I got and she's like the plan's Landing back down to oh it's like you you just can't wait to get to Vegas with your friends and they're like route to Montana or something you're like that's a fine place no it's like a flight from Dallas to San Antonio 30 minutes in air why are you even taking get water instead of soda you could ████ here's I promise you and I'm a married man but back in my single days I could promise you this you could either go home with me or you could go and watch half a Netflix episode of some ████ and have just the same kind of time it's that it's that your favorite show it's a good show what was the plot I don't really remember I was on my phone the whole time but your boy's there 247 it's reliable you want some reliable reliable that's the real compliment here reliable the
5:06 not so yes it's like a episode of turn your brain off yeah it's like a court show it's like a episode of Storage Wars you just have it playing comforting that's how ████ describe me he's in the background doing some ████ reliably like trustworthy Kelsey is like hey Kelsey what' you do like oh my God I ████ like four black dud was incredible oh Kelsey you know J what did you do she like well like I had like three Asian guys go down on the in like oh my God they're so G at right Becky what did you do and you can't say like I just sat at home and watched half an episode of Netflix you got to try to get your ████ to understand you're a ████ that ████ too so you recount the story when you were with me when you were like yeah um and that and that and then she said enough and that's it and they know too
5:56 they're like Mike she's like he was nice yeah he was nice we tried we tried he tried wow that's the greatest compliment you get best in the world of that ████ try having some more mediocre the best below average mediocre apex apex apex of the best yeah it's a participation award but there I mean there's ltimate form timate form yeah absolutely I really participated yeah you did and I got something for it because if you participate like a ████ yeah and you get nothing out of it it's kind of inspirational cuz damn you're still trying and if you win the whole ████ then you're famous your reward was shrugs at brunch that's it that's it my reward was honorable mention at brunch y shugs not even a
6:47 punchline off that ████ like all the crazy one that has sex with all black dudes and all the Asian foresome and then with Mike just like she says it and they're like so yeah they changed the subject this place is fun for ladies where's our food yeah food's cold you you seen the waiter I did that ████ all ████ day top that ████ ████ we got Apex it's just not fair it's a fronted video better than mediocre sex easily tops it but but in spirit anthon should go next I get compliments yeah dude you get compliments all the time just ████ beautiful I me you had me and him in one episode he does ████ you dude some of us weren't born Wen born perfect yeah you know what I don't get that as
7:38 often as I would like that's very nice that that is maybe it's because I'm also hanging around a bunch of Jerry's that some accusatory yeah but that's that's the number one compliment that I'll receive which is like something I'm not in control of you know Jer that I'm tall but I'm not even like tall I'm just tall for Asians aren't you 6 foot you are tall though 512 baby yes I am 512 is 6 foot man thank you Jo you tall dude are you a mathematician that's that's just the first thing and you know what don't be six I get it most from aune don't be six foot and say I'm not Paul Auntie don't is 6 feet just tall like no matter what you got to call him and say thank you later anyway cuz your mom makes you yeah damn damn dude I grew up in like Russian Jewish culture it's the same ████ ████ yeah all that old world s███'s the
8:28 same then are buddy he's a Ukrainian Jew and I was just like you know what you guys are like Asians but you use reason and logic that's the only difference ████ logic but no emotions though best I got is can you go make sure your aunt I didn't overdose again white trash champion of the world baby she's on the floor some ████ coming out of mou I don't know oh you're turn Jared got big Cals those are hard to grow sh I showed him last time you can see it he does that big ████ it is big man holy ████ in that thing that ████ look like a big old turkey leg right there white trash if I I we're stuck in the mountains we're trying to eat you first but I don't know if we can bite through it you could yeah maybe are you part Ox yes that's good why you got a ████
9:20 Asian recipe to look like oxtail I'm not part dog I'm not part dog Chinese recipe yeah Nails it again dude yo earlier I didn't want to say anything now that we're boys yeah yeah yeah yeah no joke when I first walked in here there's apparently in this neighborhood a little dog someone owns and he runs around he'll just run in here he came in here and he came in here I was like you a dumb ████ dog damn you're you walked in the wrong office come on dog he's tiny he's wagging his Tails I can't I can't bear with was looking at that dog and we were licking our lips dude about to be some fried rice you I was going side eye on that dog you name it he was about to be in it I'm hungry that always coming in here looking little dog he looks
10:11 scrumptious cuz e all the trash of the complex yeah we've been feeding them just stuff them up long delayed gratification that's what we're about here soup is the bomb though just throwing that out there said what oxel soup is the bomb I thought you said something El hey would you hear baby I thought you going to say dog is pretty good that's what do they dog they fre really dog somewhere I didn't mean to look at you guys you're cool yeah yeah they would never guess it there's a dog Festival that they eat them at what Amica sad China that's sad people in China are trying to get it shut down cuz China cool China's great Pro China all right we don't want to get canceled for real so you got big ████ C that's the the number one compl that can't be it
11:01 dude that can't be it are most of the compliments you get about your body and do you feel objectified sexualized I mean I think most compliments everybody gets is about their body on average I've never got a ████ compliment about my body ████ oh look how hairy you are that's not a ████ compliment did you put your head in the head Shin ball you get that one I get people think I have like horns from no my s███'s not yeah whatever the ████ that is like OB I get insulted more than I get if we're Counting YouTube comments the hair come on oh yeah well that's not they're just they hate people hate the hair oh absolutely I really it's only there hair because you guys hate it so but honestly YouTube people there's a specific type of person that really gets triggered by Jared's hair and it's something we call an involuntary celibat I know you're thinking about Jared's ████ Mohawk dud you are zero
11:53 for zero on ████ ████ and while meanwhile Jerry's Mohawk only folds like that because it's soft deep in Latina and Filipina juices holding it together it's a landing strip it is a target I had ████ 10 years too long wa too long 10 should we shave it what was the inspiration of the Mohawk dangle it wasn't Mohawk it looks like a mohawk that that just I called the I call it Flash and Mohawk it is you know dick jokes all instead of it like erect it's like relaxed 100% there was a mohawk and then it just grew a little bit too long and I was like I'm ████ lazy I'm just going to that's cool you know if you just shave it off then you don't have to do anything do you care about how the rest of you looks minus your body AB you take care of your face and hair and teeth I wasn't going to say
12:43 anything about tee I know a popular German character where if you move that just a little bit this way and go all the way that it kind of matches so like a full head of hair Hitler kind of it goes this way I mean you're a lot closer to the Uber MCH than Hitler ever ████ was here was like where a perfect people ████ you're five five and look like ████ is there a point at the end of the spot where you kill yourself and let us all be perfect together that's weird no one ever talked about that ████ what I'm trying to say Jerry is you the real Hitler in a good way in a good way that's actually what it is yeah it's just transplant moved it up do women ever compliment you on your face ████ hair looks my looks yeah
13:33 what do they say they like about you I'm like they're ████ lying you kind of got cute eyes shut up and I get that hey nice got cute eyes I'm always like you're ████ full of ████ I can't tell if other men are how goodlooking they are same give me 10 yeah 10 10 women 100 women I'll line them up as to my preference hottest to least hot no problem it's algorithm just happens automatically it's ████ just that's it they it'll line themselves but with dudes the ugliest ████ I'm like I feel like it's that guy it's usually correct and the best goddamn looking ████ ever I'm like yeah there's something to it every one of those eight guys or 89 guys or whatever in between I'm like could be this way could be that way so I asked like my wife like hey is that guy good looking she's like no and I'm like what there's no Rhyme or Reason figure this out when I saw you I was like yeah yeah yeah straight beautiful
14:25 I'm straight stra I'm straight say if I he's the most attractive man on the podcast comment comment and agree please that's why he's the he's the sex don't put me in this position abely somehow the fans are going to turn it ████ sideways all over you're just lucky Steve's not here this is not going to be politically correct okay we already talked about us e dog so it's okay look how put together he is yeah you call them the right Hitler the correct is it correct for me to assume this is going to sound so perverse and so wrong oh great here we go even better here we go I don't know if you guys know this this may be news to you Fells FS the typical what I imagine to be a female jking news lover is like the Pinnacle of what all white men like slob Orcs try to climb the mountain to a cheat but just some Dime
15:16 Piece Japanese racer girl ████ who does the Midnight Club you know like one of those ████ with the race like you know you know what I'm saying you clearly must just like bomb through fields of that ████ that's what I'm saying dude that's what I've been trying to say like I've been my whole life was a sex yeah my my wife my wife is a ████ gorgeous little ████ thick ass Filipina ████ I love it but that's my barely just try my ████ out phds and make a s███████ of money and be all Innovative and ████ just to get my one and I got it like never let go you're like living free in the ████ world and just batting them off like excuse me ma'am please take your perfect body way my man's chilling right now he can't he's in overdose mode for me that's why he back Filipina himself how I did and
16:06 uh my sometimes my mother-in-law watches this but uh back in the day back in the day but only with your daughter only the only one yeah only never had any show them the tat dude show to oh yeah just just do the song now it's now it's almost regretted that's for Nick almost it's for Nick for me it's for Nick for Nick he's straight though he's straight I'm also straight yeah hey I appreciate that's probably the best compliment I've ever had in my life you go hey we say the same exact thing and you get this sex is just not as poetic it's not we not poetic people dude you think you think can put that together that guy has a PHD I'm not smart like that I can't even say a sentence without stuttering dude vomited poetry in ways that I never knew existed this guy shakespear me with math he's a doctor dude he's PhD I need him on more
16:57 often speak with crayons he speaks with ████ oil PS that you got I get bored dude he's using quill and cursive feather tip pin can I be wearing one of them 1880s outfits and ████ like that like Shakespeare but the crazy thing is he brings it down here first he's like I don't want to be politically incorrect so you know your foundation's like what is he going to say I like the modern look with the quill I think yeah hot that's like some 50 Shades of Gray type oh your turn clean the best compliment absolutely we still got I feel like you always get you got you got super fans that compliment you all the time here what do they say oh wow that you're their favorite uh favorite's not necessarily the word they use what do they say I think they say things like hot fine
17:49 beautiful that's what they do probably the best compliment was like you're not what I expected huh that's kind of like Mike's uh Chinese yeah his sex they're talking about my Chinese part of you real part Chinese yes I can kind of tell yeah it's the cheeks mhm it's the cheeks still I'm never going to believe you I'm sorry you don't have to be cuz I will be Chinese whether you believe me or not I don't know if I'd make claims like that you see if you register on the J radar you might not actually be any part oh yeah there's 23 in Jerry you can't pass the test be born in Asia I'm only sensing Jerry force in this re little bit right here yeah yeah yeah yeah little up on that side of the room
18:40 that's the Asian table we can't tell the people we can't tell the people that that I am now 34% Chinese is it growing yeah the the stats change depending on like the world's not so black and white you know yeah it's not so white and Chinese yellow it's only black and white when you yingyang yeah but the black and white has more black and white inside you don't want to make this too racial black and White's toxic no I'm fully white you're right are you pure Caucasian I'm pure all things European [Laughter] yeah did you do a 23 me I did wait how can you be a third of some ████ what the ████ you have three parents I never said that three but I thought the ████
19:31 was holy ████ I never thought of it that way two things in quarters and eights drugs you buy in San Francisco people buy the bridge and ethnicity and ethnicity would it would it work if one like one parent is so like your grandparent is full and then the other parent is a quarter and then so you can have 33% he's just being an idiot I've been familiarized with it um but like all totally all jokes aside like zero humor yeah cuz I can't tell you're for real a third I'm for real not a third 34% yeah yeah 33.33 it actually just went down I think let me check down to Z now oh it's went through me updates every from it's 1% indous it's true
20:24 33.33 333 that's exactly it says right here 34 34.3 now fascinating I think it's the room it boosts up your Chinese depends on who's guesting and who's who's squinty enough so you went up a little bit yep I guess so been wither you guys let him say this about your people what the ████ man what you talking about I'm just talking about my eyes we're boys now right [Music] right for
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