0:00 POV POV you in the bathroom. >> Did you say POV you in the bathroom? >> I can't stop. >> Welcome back to another episode of Gear for Boys. Today we have the oldest living twerking champion on Earth, Mr. Taika Quan. >> 6 billion years old. Hey, hey, hey. Now seven. My birthday just passed. >> Oh, happy belated birthday. >> It's a birthday every 10 minutes. >> Man, you age fast, but you look good. >> You look young. >> Yeah, you look young, man. >> I got the wrinkles. >> You think you got wrinkles? >> Huh? >> So, you have a dead homies tribute shirt going on right there. Your your old
0:50 friend passed away. >> Dino buddy. >> Yeah. >> Do you miss your dinosaur friends? Because there's no more dinosaurs anymore, huh? >> Uhhuh. >> Okay. What do you like about now with humans versus the dinosaur day? And what did you miss about the dinosaur day? >> I know it's a tough one. >> That's a hard one. >> I'm sorry. I'm I'm starting with the tough one. >> You share some algebra while you're at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He actually does algebra >> already. >> Well, I I taught him like some concepts. So 3 + what equals 7? >> 3 + what = 7? >> What? >> You got it. >> For the unknown, right? That's algebra. >> Killing it. >> I messed. He's pretty good.
1:40 >> Here's another one. Uh 4 + 4. Here's another one. 5 + 3 = 4 * what? >> Four. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Two. >> See? >> Dang, that was fast. one side, eight on the other side. >> I couldn't even write it out of my head. >> Mom's like, I don't know why you do that. >> What? That's pretty good, right? >> Dang. I took algebra twice. So, >> I took it like I took like four tonos out on that one. >> Wow. >> Cool. Cool eyes. Those are those are cool eyes. >> My eyes are on a spinning roller coaster. >> Oh. >> What was your favorite roller coaster at Universal? >> The Jurassic Park. Yeah. >> Yeah. What do you like about it? Cuz it was all dinosaurs. >> It's all your homies. >> Oh, he likes fast roll.
2:30 >> Do you like loops or do you like the drops better? >> Ah, cool, man. Hey, what's your favorite song now? You used to like Sunflower a lot, but that was a long time ago. >> Oh, my beard. >> I think it fell. >> Did it? Oh, no. Here. >> Beard. >> Let me see this. >> Oh, my furry beard. >> He's talking about you. You want a beard like your T Ryan or >> You want one like this? >> It's pretty. He has a pretty cool beard. >> Look. >> What if it was all black? What? What if it was no gray hair? >> What if What if your dad grew a beard? >> I'm kidding. >> You don't like it? You don't want me to have a beard? >> Yeah. You don't want him to have >> No, I don't. No, I don't want you to look like Abraham Lincoln. >> But what if you ask me a question and I can go like this and I can think about it. >> Then then people might think Abraham
3:20 Lincoln's still alive and they're going to make you the president. Oh, that's true. You have to be you're automatically Abraham Lincoln. Where have you been? WE NEED YOU BACK. >> Been working out a lot. >> It happens to me all the time. >> And yeah, the the ch the Asian Abraham Lincoln. >> Tell them about that one time we were playing horse and then I farted before I shot. >> Do Do you get Do you get an H for that? >> Your daddy farts stank though. So that means you have to fart when you shoot. >> You had to fart and shoot and make it. You might just have to hold it. Is there a story for that or is that the story? >> I think you really like it. >> He shot the ball and then he farted and then he and then he's like this bucket and then he and then he missed. >> Oh, you missed too. >> And he missed. That's embarrassing. >> Wait, you actually like when your dad
4:11 farts? >> No. >> Hey, have you smelt it? It's bad. >> Really bad. >> What does it smell? >> It's not human. >> What does it smell like, Taigga? It smells like dog poop. Dog poop was my fart on there. Two times worse. And then and then put it together. Lemon juice. >> Put it in the blender. Put it close to someone's nose and bam. >> Yeah. >> When's the last time you smelled my fart? >> Do you remember the last time you smelled my fart? >> Right now. >> No, not right now. >> Yeah, I smell too. Remember yesterday? It's bad. No. Remember? >> Ew, actually smells. Ew. Ew. >> No. Remember yesterday? >> Do you remember yesterday where mama started freaking out? >> Why? Why did your mom freak out? >> Yesterday she started freaking out because Cooper was just wiping his butt
5:01 on the bed and then someone was on the plate. >> We're a s█████ family. The dog The dog was wiping his butt on the bed. Oh my god. I have I have a question for you. >> Have you What do your mom's farts smell like? I bet they're worse than your dad. fart um farted before. >> She never farted before. >> Ever? You've never heard her fart ever? Do you think that she is capable of farting? >> No. >> I bet it sounds like >> You never been to You never royal one. >> How about trumpet? >> How about mama being in the bathroom for like, you know, something she's in there for like a long time? >> Not as long as you. >> And then >> Oh, >> I know why you um your your poop smells so I mean your fart smells so bad. >> Why? Cuz you're like pooping a thousand times a day. >> Does he Is he always pooping? >> Cuz you're like this. Oh, five minutes
5:51 later. >> He's like in there for like 20 minutes. Like this an hour. >> Just going up and down off the toilet. >> Wait an hour. >> Oh yeah. Your mom was in there last time for a long time. >> STOP IT. >> LIKE 5 SECONDS. >> And what does it smell like when she leaves? >> Nice. >> It smells nice. >> NICE. NO WAY. >> SMELLS GOOD, RIGHT? >> NO WAY. Has your mom ever left the bathroom and you go inside to pee and then you see like brown streaks on the bottom? >> Stop. >> One time she sold me a poop that was like this long. >> Wa. >> Okay, >> that's a lot of fiber. Your mom eats a lot of fiber. >> Good for colon health. She's tall. So she has a lot She has a lot of it. >> Hey, kudos. Kudos to you. Do you know? Good for you. >> How much fiber do you get a day? >> Are you living? >> 500. >> Yeah, 500 grams, I think. >> Yeah. Did it smell good though or
6:41 smelled bad? >> Yeah, it's as long as that bread. >> Wa wa. That's crazy. Wa, dude. You're telling me. You're telling me. This is breaking news right now. You're telling me your mom poops this big? >> Yeah, >> she is a tall lady. >> Maybe like this big. >> Even bigger. >> Oh, come on, dude. >> How do you think she fits in her body? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think that is? >> Maybe May maybe maybe when she was pregnant, she didn't have a baby. She just picked me up from somewhere. She just found me in the front of her door and she just had a lot of poop in there. >> Yeah. >> Honestly, I've always thought the same thing. I'm glad you're you're saying this to us. >> That's why you don't look any Mexican. >> Yeah, you do look Mexican. >> He doesn't look Mexican. >> I agree. I agree. >> You look like you're Mexican. You look
7:31 like you sell freaking koncha on the corner, dude. What the hell are you talking about? >> You look like you should >> for scale for you guys at home. This is what Gio's dumping in the uh >> Stop it. >> The porcelain throne. So your birth was just a hoax. Yeah, it was fake. >> So you're Jesus. >> Was just really POV. You in the bathroom. >> You think POV you in the bathroom? >> I can't stop this. >> I can't stop. I can't see. I can't >> I never screamed that before. >> I can't stop. >> NO, I NEVER SCREAMED THAT. >> I need like this. >> What's that? He's on social media. What's that? Instagram. >> He's like riding a roller coaster.
8:26 >> And his phone. >> You're You cannot stop pooping. >> He has an alarm. >> The phone tells him you're in the You're pooping too loud. >> Toilet. He gets alerts. I'll just check from T-Mobile. >> Hey, you've been pooping a lot today. Are you okay? >> How How sad. I didn't know that he had that much trouble. >> Yeah, you got the tummy. >> Yeah. >> No, I think I pooped like maybe three times a day. >> No, like 450,000. >> That is a lot. >> What? Are you okay? >> 450,000. >> I only poop one time a day. >> You do? >> Sometimes I poop zero times a day. >> That's true. Sometimes you do. All right, stop bragging him, dude. You know he's absorbing all the nutrients. That's why he's growing. >> The almost the almost the whole toilet seat just filled with poop. >> What? When you go after your mama goes. >> No, >> it's after your mama goes. >> I went into the bathroom after you were done and I was like this. Oh, it smells
9:17 bad. >> Cuz I went after mama. >> No, you didn't. >> It was mama and then you >> in the beginning of the day. I was like this. Oh ████ bro. >> No, it was mama first. >> And then I got perfume. I sprayed it and it still made it. >> No, it was mama and then me. >> No. You got to light a match, brother. >> There was like this almost smelling really bad and then I just saw a lot of poop like I saw like jump up poop coming down. >> Coming down on the coming down where >> the splashback coming down? >> One time like at like a house you pooped on the wall. >> I pooped on the wall. >> You did. >> He's told a story like that before. >> I did. >> He has told stories like No way. >> Yep. >> You made a hole. Yeah, you sprayed. It kind of checks out. >> And and then he went on the toilet and like that's
10:07 like this is the best roller coaster ever. I don't want to go to Universal Studio. I don't want to go. >> Bart, are you okay, man? Are you okay? >> And he like does Oh, it felt so nice. And in the shower, he's like >> again. I poop in the shower. >> You told me. I've never told you. No. Oh, >> that universal thing. >> That's when me and mama first started dating. >> Yeah. That >> you weren't EVEN BORN YET. >> MAYBE THAT'S MAYBE THAT'S why she said she doesn't love you sometimes. >> RUINING HER HOUSE CUZ YOU'RE RUINING her house. >> You're ruining >> ruining the plumbing, man. >> That's why you say you don't love me. >> Sometimes. Sometimes. I >> Sometimes that happened cuz I had food poisoning. >> Mark just poops too much. You have to
10:58 take him to the hospital. >> Hey, that's your title. That's your title, dude. You're welcome. >> Hold up. I want to call 911. >> Oh, >> okay. Let me fix your butt. Oh, dad. >> Oh, 911's a butt fix. >> No, he can't poop at all. >> Wait, Tao, are you actually worried about how much your dad poops? Like, actually, >> yeah, it's cuz health concern, huh? >> Yeah, >> I might need he might need medicine to not diarrhea. >> I don't think so. I think I think it's cuz I eat a lot of protein. See, >> you're not going to want to go to >> Yeah, you got your protein. No, you don't want to go to That's why you only went to Universal like two times in your ass cuz your poop. >> Yeah, he's got it at home. He's got Universal >> cuz Yeah, cuz you like you have you build like a bar so you can hold down like that. >> The bar on the toilet. >> You install a bar on the toilet. >> You have to you have to lock it in. You lock it in >> and then you have to check it. >> He puts a lap bar down.
11:50 >> Okay. All right. You take out the toilet paper and wipe it. Get out and he's in there for like 1 hour. >> Wow. >> Do you Do you take a long time to poop? >> Yes. Really long. >> Sometimes. >> How long? How long? Well, >> cuz like >> his longest was like 2 days. >> Oh, not two days. I didn't eat my meals in there. >> You got to help your dad out, dude. You got to >> be helpful, man. >> He's sitting there for two days >> in there. Two days. Oh, he's asleep. He's pooping in his sleep. That's amazing. >> Yeah, cuz you know how sometimes when you dream >> Yeah. >> and you're pooping and then poop actually comes out. >> Oh, yeah. That happens to him a lot, huh? >> Dream, dude. >> Stinky in the room. >> Brown dream. >> That's not true. >> That's why the elf on the shelf is never in my room except two times cuz he's
12:41 like on the shelf. >> Yeah, he's like this. Oh, you >> the elf. He's supposed to watch Tao to make sure he's a good boy. He leaves. >> Can't survive. >> That's why sometimes That's why sometimes sometimes I don't That's why sometimes I just see him at like 11. >> Yeah, >> cuz he's like this Santa Claus. That >> T's dad put him on the naughty list. The elf is reporting. >> Ta's okay, but his dad put him on the naughty list. >> Put him on the Put him on the naughty list. Oh my god. And then he threw it up for two times day. >> Oh no, man. >> Haha, how come your dad? >> You got to move the elephant.
13:31 >> That's why he's like this. >> He's sad. >> You got to move him off away from the bathroom. >> That's why his eyes are like this. So when I'm walking away, his head is moving. He's like this. Help me. Help me. Please just get me out of the stinky house. Give me give me head out of the the Kasan family aka the pooper team. >> Pooper team. >> So, do you help the elf on the shelf? Do you get him out of that? >> No, I can't touch him. >> You can't touch him. Yeah, you're right. >> Yeah, cuz you ruined the magic. >> Oh, yeah. Right. >> He touched him. >> The poor elf on the shelf. >> Yeah. His eyebrows fell off. Huh? >> But I don't get presents anymore. So, adults, you know. >> Yeah. He feels like this. Thank you. But but I but it makes me love you less because you still smell stinky. >> Oh >> and sometimes one time I I woke up and
14:22 he's like this >> flying away. >> That was on the shelf. >> He's like this >> to get away from the pooper team. >> Yeah. >> What are your poops like? You're talking about your parents poops. What are your poops like? >> My poops are like this big. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Right. >> You hold them and stuff or what? >> How come every time you poop you go How come you can do that? >> Cuz it feels nice. >> It feels nice. Yeah. It's called the push. >> Yeah, you got to push. >> Cuz it feels nice. >> It's quite satisfying, isn't it? >> Yeah. It helps him. >> I'm like this. >> Yeah. >> Sigh relief. >> He spreads his butt cheeks. >> Why you got your hand back there? >> You got to spit your butt cheeks. >> Sometimes I like that. It's a spray.
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