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Petty Gamer Flies to FL for Revenge After Losing a Game

#sims#playsafe#counterstrike#games#cheat
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 [Music] pretty fun story uh you ever been you ever played video game yep you ever get so mad at somebody playing multiplayer that you want to find them and kill them no you you probably could do that huh if you wanted to yeah but it doesn't mean that you should I mean like some sometimes somebody cuts me off on their freeway you know do I feel and think like you know what man I'm going to follow you I'm going to see where you live and at 3: in the morning I'm going to raid your house I think about it but I don't do it though could good impul control yeah and you done it thousands of times probably he's probably pro at it how would you how I how would I do it how would you do it how would you get in their house oh well no you got to go in heavy I don't care I'm not trying to be ████ a cat burglar I'm going in to the entrance

0:51 going like the SWAT team shotgun to the ████ door hinge boom boom Go in all that noise is going to ████ scare them uh and I got to move in fast find the main bedroom there you go and then you're like hey dude you ████ up in Call of Duty today brother so that's what so there's a game called Arch age never heard of it in my whole life it's oh it's it's gone now it's gone now yeah they discontinu the servers did they really because it is it's old as ████ oh yeah you're right that's what they say the game publisher announced in April they're shutting it down wow and they said because the declining number of active players MMO it looks like a lot of games got it yeah so this guy gets so pissed off he's from New Jersey right he flew all the way to Florida just to attack a player with a hammer who beat him in this game no hammer do you think it was one of

1:42 those things where they're like hey man where you at they're like you'll never come and ████ me up it's like well come over then here's my address and then they're like yeah you're a ████ and then it actually happens here's my address you're too much of a little ████ when they tell you to pull up and bro that's that's commitment because he got in his car I'm assuming he drove he had to get gas Hew he paid for he flew from New York probably got a rental he flew from New York New Jersey paid for a ticket dude but even then you're mad you're you're you're in the ████ checkin you go through security TSA you're still mad you're in the plane you're mad you get out you're just this the whole time take a piss like hey do you want any water or anything you're like I'm fine yeah I'm on a mission how bad did he get beat I'm locked it he must have got destroyed he got hammered he probably got killed multiple times he probably got he probably got a player team killed yeah yeah over and over RJ

2:34 is that's a a co-op MMO so maybe they were just like beefing on who supposed to do what yeah oh ████ I bet that's even worse sometimes it's not like a PVP kind of ████ I don't I actually don't know you said he got beat with the hammer I wonder if he checked that in yeah yeah yeah he bought it at Lowe's when he got to a Florida yeah he pulled some he pulled some amateur ████ and bought it retail left the paper trail everything I guarantee you he was a mage player yeah got to be a mage he has a m Mage Vib m ████ wizard ass ████ he's definitely not a tag or he's a ████ Paladin dude ████ some kind of they're ████ boys I never knew what they were a paladin like any guy that chooses ████ any guy that chooses healer yeah you know he's a ████ for the group though and you're

3:24 weird now you're Paladin yeah but the healer's always like the ████ of the group though what happens when you're there dwindling player base you don't have anybody to heal it's like that's like not getting out of the military it's like I don't have a ████ purpose I I can't I can't do video games anymore I used to be hardcore into the video games like I remember I I would wake up before before my wife is before I had kids it just my wife and I I'd play Battlefield I'd ████ she'd wake up feed me breakfast why you play me lunch I take a break we watch a movie on Netflix and then I go back she'd go to sleep i' still be playing and I did that over and over um and my my buddy one time like I'm going to look you up dude like what's your gamer tag or whatever and and he's like bro you're in the top 4% of the world ████ and I was like oh I didn't know I played that much and then ████ but then I deployed and then Battlefield 3 came out or

4:15 whatever and then he's like in the had of my first kid he's like bro you going to play and I was like I can't dude I got a son now and I know how I am I can't do it man so I love video games but like I I I tried to play recently just a little bit and I got ████ SM smoked 12y old yeah they're all 8 years old now and they're kicking everybody's ass and I was like you know what I can do in real life yeah exactly smoke you real life bro I'm special op and every was like yeah right ████ Delta that's what I keep saying funny as ████ cuz nobody believes you online nobody's going to I wouldn't believe you if you say that ████ on a headset I was on Special Ops like yeah right dude my mom was special op I love hearing those little kids ████ talk ████ cuz they don't their voice hasn't even cracked yet and they're like yeah it's like your mom ████ you and it's like a soft little

5:06 cute voice and you're just like shut the ████ up dude F yeah ████ you you got own ████ you that impression as an adult if I'm playing video games I'm not going to put the headset on cuz I'll get intimidated by those kids really really yeah dude they'll ████ talk ████ I'm like ████ dude I can't even threw in my head yeah ████ I can't even play now dude you talking too much ████ I can't even aim maybe I am gay everyone seems to call me that 12y old my head why is everyone calling you that yeah the craziest thing is when you play with random people and you can hear their baby crying in the back yeah that's a good one you just hear their whole domestic fighting and ████ like bro take care of your life it's like hey you got you should replace the batteries of your smoke detector I know somebody has a fan pulling right into the this s███'s crazy I'm like dude

5:57 I'll send you batteries this is very dangerous what's the most angry you guys have gotten playing a video game does it make you guys angry uh probably wasn't when I was in like high school probably yeah when I was a kid I think yeah when I was a kid I choked my friend uh playing Mario Kart cuz he kept talking ████ ████ while we were playing and I couldn't focus yeah my my whole thing when I would play Bart Simpson choke you know when I was playing video games a lot with my buddies online it would be like I ████ shot him and he didn't ████ die like what is this I'd say stuff like that and I'd sound like such a ████ ass but you don't get mad after right like not really but in the moment where I was just like what the ████ ████ this game I blame everything on the game you know it's not my fault it's not my lack aim it's not me shooting the wall while sh you never got in a fight from a game like a fight fight you ever steal a star in Mario party I'll ████ you up if

6:47 you still my star I will I will ████ you up my friend got shot over a game no uh Counter Strike he was at one of those um like those PC bangs and then uh got into an argument with some other guys that were Gang Related and then they basically were like I think they pulled guns or something happened and he ran and he ran out and then once he got in the car they started shooting at his car so one bullet hit the side of like it was a 22 so it wasn't big enough and it went through that little metal part so it slowed it down and it went back to the back of the the the headrest and it went through his head what and then um he still has it in the back of his head oh my God yeah it's like in his skull cracked the skull and then they just

7:38 stitched it on top they didn't pull it out cuz it cracked it yeah is that what they usually do they just leave ited yeah banana I know over a freaking Counter-Strike game but Counter Strike Back in the day though that ████ was head in the early 2000s especially at those computer lab places that's crazy you know a lot of gangster ass kids went to those places too so they were always St there tons of vet gangs at those I was always I was always ████ ████ with my own team it was my favorite D I would chuck a smoke bomb at the wall and then my whole team's like no just get melted by theam i' be flashbang on my team and I'd be saying oh ████ sorry dude she was so ████ pissed playing a game totally by myself offline Oh by yourself yeah cuz you're not doing story mode

8:28 like like back the day I'll be playing like Sims like Sims 3 Sims out of and like so there's a thing that happens with Sims 3 basically it's such an old game but if you try to run it on a newer computer it it's unable to use the max amount of ram it sounds really nerdy but basically it'll shut itself down and it won't save past the point so if you're playing for like 2 hours right and you forget to save you're screwed cuz it just can't save once it accumulates so much data that it'll be like I can't save it's too much data so everything you did is just wiped out you have to constantly Play Safe Play Safe Play sa W Play Safe And then you have to look at your RAM usage to see if it's past it if you see it past it then it it won't save so you got to save right before so it's like a weird thing where uh if that happens and you lose your progress like I've had that happen to me where I just forgot you ████ overed the game I

9:18 spent the rest of the day in like brain fog where I'm just so pissed that's crazy I'm just like I can't believe it's happened to me man probably like if you're trying to do a painting that you spend 12 hours on and then you knock coffee on or something oh it's that it was that important to me this one year for some reason I would run from like I was doing LMFO tour I would run from right when the concert's done I would run to the tour bus and I love how you're in the middle of a like the peak of your life dancing party rocket and then you're on a you're at a concert and you run back to play video games that's ████ ████ USA laptop I was that into it and I would be like distraught if it didn't save a like oh ████ I don't think I can go to Stage today what are you doing on the Sims dude yeah yeah you don't you want to know this ████ yeah I do want to know

10:08 that so like so like Sims 3 was was um it was cool because it open world so that means like let's say you make a family right and you finish whatever they were doing and you you get all the guys to their top careers or astronauts and ████ you did a good job you can move to the next house do it over again while you're doing that this these people still live their lives and they go and they do their own thing and you can add mods to make them really make bigger choices so as you're playing you could come back to them and they're already a whole generation next they've made kids that are based off the people you make wa what the Imagine doing that over and over and over this game bu the whole city kind of this game's been out 10 years I probably have five or six Generations down from people I made years ago does it still evolve while you're offline no that's crazy man and then you come back and you're like oh my Gody like a 100 years old so it's like

10:59 it's almost like playing God in like a weird way where you like made all these lives and then they they can meet the people you made at another point and they could connect with them and have kids and have jobs and so it's you're ████ everybody in the neighborhood and making families is it kind of incestual no because this game is so big that like people can move there from China in the game you could have tourists that meet your domestic people and they somehow link up it's Limitless man wow so what so what would piss you off is like you're like a he finally is an astronaut and now it's gone like that kind of ████ no I would just be pissed off at like the cuz it takes hours to like do anything MH and so that's real life hours that you're like losing you're like what did I just do with that time then got it if it just didn't got erased yeah it just feels like man I could have been doing something productive but I did this Sims always

11:50 bored me cuz I immediately cheated everything and so I immediately had infinite money that's the hard part no I'm not I don't I haven't cheated on any of the games that I have saved but I only cheat at games that's it you only cheat dude dud my friends hate me cuz I I we played Nintendo 64 Mario Kart and I can do the Wario Stadium jump oh yeah yeah yeah with the first bump and oh I skipped the whole ████ track every time we played this one cup they're like ████ Steve's going to cheat on this thing cuz I cheat I cheat every I cheated everything if I could bro you still got friends yeah hell yeah I got every story is like I screw my friends over sabotage you got to get used to it FL

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