0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys everybody we are currently off the record so anything you say or do cannot be used against you in the court of law i like that in that case nick i hear uh you got some food poisoning lately what a little bit only ████ get food poisoning dude yeah you look like ████ what this just turned into a roast and it just ████ dies in me and i didn't even get food poisoning like a cool way you lost to a germ dude i did i got kind of wrecked by this germ so what happened what'd you eat i went to um i haven't been to my my mother-in-law's carne asada like in a while or we all kind of gather as a family and then we kind of just eat carne asada and like we haven't done that oh she makes it she makes it okay so we all went and then uh
0:51 one of the aunties brought some some chorizo right ooh and i had a piece because i was like oh i'm excited i haven't had a choice in a while so i ate some of that homemade tortillas or i don't know i think it was store-bought but i think what the issue is is that maybe was slightly undercooked and you had just taken the ████ and didn't wash your hands right no that's not true no okay just want to make sure he took a ████ wiped it bear because he forgot the toilet paper and he went i don't really wipe i take ████ i just don't wipe oh you save the planet but i saved the planet dude nick white his ass without toilet paper just bare hands i just shake it off nick done wait man i cut it and i shake it off if you can wipe and there's nothing there that's good luck it's sick yeah it's a good day and that's why luna is up 8 000. that's true no anyway so so i it was fine i was totally fine and then the next morning i woke up and i was just sitting up in bed
1:42 and i was like yo i don't feel good my girl's sleeping and then i i was like i kind of had the urge to throw up but i was like nah nah i'm not a ████ that's right you better not push it down you suppress it and i'm sitting up and i'm like fighting with myself digest that ████ yeah you digest it you fight it like a man and then you look at you're going like yeah well ████ that's kind of what happened where oh where i'm in bed and like i'm starting to get up cause i'm like oh no like i'm about to yeah oh no no no no no no yeah and it was like that worked and my cheeks filled up is that your nose oh ████ and then a little bit came out of no return right there so a little bit came out but it was like it came so quick it like it just filled up my cheek so quick that i ran to the bathroom and i just started like laying waste just puking oh you made it i made it to the toilet except the little that came out a
2:32 little bit came on i went prematurely evaluated yeah honestly and i was just i was just puking in the toilet i was like doing it for like 15 minutes and my wife was asleep and all she hears is like just like the loudest vomit all your masculinity leaving your body dude it was awful but you know nobody likes throwing up but then obviously i was kind of laid out for a couple hours and we're we're laying in bed did you have another episode was just one hard one it was one hard one and then i was like kind of ████ up so i was like nauseous all day and then it was like midday like four o'clock my girl's like let's there's a donut shop by our place that we like and it's very good good idea and she goes hey i want to go get a donut do you want to come walk with me and i was like yeah i could probably use some fresh air right so i'm like i need probably to get moving a little bit so i get up i start getting dressed but while i'm getting dressed i'm kind of feeling like i gotta
3:22 like take a seat i was like oh ████ like i'm getting nauseous but i was like don't be a ████ dude you're ████ don't be a little ████ don't be a ████ walk your girl to the donut shop and then come back like a man i'm like yeah i'm good so we walk we walk all the way and then i'm kind of like oh ████ i'm like getting hot i'm getting like nauseous i'm like sweaty a little bit but i'm like i'm totally fine i'm fine and we're walking to the donut shop and i go you know what i'm not going to go inside i'm feeling a little something's going on so i give my girl the cash she goes inside and then i'm standing outside i'm just trying to hold it together did you feel it coming up not really not really i just felt like really easy no i just feel nauseous and then there's a laundromat that comes out that's like right next door and there's a lady comes out there's white lady and she she's walking by and then there's another guy that comes out
4:12 saying man man ma'am you you left something in the laundromat and as soon as i heard that i looked and then all of a sudden i just started yakking this little trash can dude it was there there was no there was no there was no grass anywhere like it was it was as immediate as it was in the morning it was i swear to god like i i hear them go ma'am you left something and i'm like and my dumb ass is like oh would you leave and i look over and i go oh no and i start walking and it's dude i felt like i felt terrible i felt awful because i was like dude this is the side this is the worst i'm outside this ████ places business it looks like you're reacting to chivalry yeah and i was like this is making me sick to my stomach and i'm just throwing a like gatorade at this point right why didn't you do the covert protocol like this yeah elbow hold your
5:02 breath is that what i swear i make a little well yeah but i just was like dude it's going everywhere you gotta make a ████ yellow stone dude yeah dude and i'm like well we've gotta go you gotta go so i'm like puking like i puked like four or five times and then my girl comes out it was all gatorade fruit punch and then my girl comes out and she's like with donuts in her hand she's like oh my god are you okay and i'm like tears running up my face like just just families bring that third world country ████ into my house exactly exactly so i'm just yakking and none of them got sick and that's why that's why they think you're a little ████ because they're like ████ only one and then my girl asks our uncle and she goes because he was one of the only ones that ate the chorizo too and he's like no i'm fine and i'm like ████ i feel like it's a
5:52 whole ████ probably just got the undercooked pieces man oh yeah and i had i was the first one to eat it so there you go she should have waited as soon as i'm throwing up and then my girl comes out and i'm like all right let's walk back home i see this lady in this uh like jag this jaguar and she's this asian chicken i feel so bad for her she's she's facing me right and she's literally trying to look away because she's like mortified because i'm you know like when you sometimes for some people when they see someone throwing oh yeah i don't like that like projectile vomit they can't i didn't see ████ chunks on the ground yeah i think that it was a just gate right it just looked like blood i was vomiting blood and and this poor lady is like i felt so bad right in front of you she's looking away just trying her best to not throw up she's like i was gonna get donuts and it looks like she was waiting for food because there's like a really great she's inside her jaguar
6:44 and i'm like hey we gotta get the ████ out of here did you try to piss your vomit off at least piss it off like whip my penis oh piss it off just get mad at it yeah do a little power washing honestly i probably should have had like maybe bought a water or something like but it was just like there was nothing i could have done and it was mostly just moisture you're like a dog walker that doesn't hold ████ bags yeah and i kind of feel like a piece of ████ because that's like one of my biggest gripes is like people that leave their ████ everywhere or their blood vomits yeah dude and i was like i'm really embarrassed and well that's why you pay your taxes that's why who says i do that you made a job and you created a job you're a job creator i was walking with you so embarrassing and there's an alleyway there and i was like oh ████ what the ████ someone threw up and i could tell they had carrots and stuff and then i walked a little bit down and i'm like maybe like three to four feet
7:35 away i'm like oh damn this will ████ throw up and ████ ████ all over the place and then i walk with that you can see like the dry piss mark and you could just tell like the person's whole night like this whole night i'm like dad's gonna have a rough ████ few steps later you see him on the floor with an empty 40 ounce like oh bro nah dude if he got the ████ and throw up he's actually probably on the street corner like hey how you doing he got it all that feels amazing yo when i yacked i felt way better yeah and i was like kind of on the other side of like that the the third time or that was just that was it that was it just the big finale does this happen to you a lot no not to the point where i like just through like you know i don't get food poisoning that's the last time that you threw up like that or just at all when's the last time you barf previous time i don't years ago i remember one time i threw up at a gas station when i was in
8:26 uh coming back from san francisco and it was i had food poisoning from like crab cakes i think and i slept the whole car ride because i was like i don't feel good and then like the halfway point i get out the car and i'm like man i'm totally fine and i felt like like kind of nauseous but i was the whole time i was like fighting it and then i just yacked and i was like oh my god i just threw up and i just go in the bathroom and just did my business and i went back to sleep and i got home three hours after that midpoint and i just started unloading everywhere and that was like the last time i got crazy food poisoning dude i was hanging out with the buddy and he and i didn't even feel like throwing up at all and then all of a sudden he takes out his phone and he shows me his cardana portfolio i thought oh i just start projecting all ████ thrown up all over the place [Laughter] and he still thinks it's going to pump yeah he's still thinking he still thinks cardano's going to pump yeah i have such a phobia for throwing up i haven't
9:17 thrown up in 21 years that's a man right there you're just surprised what are your techniques like i ████ threw up two weeks ago ice cold uh pack on my head and then and then just like sleep and then i'll look i wake up and i'll have the ████ worst diarrhea on recorded man's history but i don't throw up throwing up is rough you have a chili diary because of that a what a chili diarrhea like no like it's cold uh cold one spicy no cold every time i have a cold diary i'm like oh okay i was definitely using an ice pack last night today's video is brought to you by tushy now big thanks to tushy for keeping my tushy clean because i've been using it for several years now and not only does my booty hole feel immaculate after a nice little cocka you know what ends up happening i actually saved a lot of
10:08 money on toilet paper and that was a surprise that i was like wow i didn't realize how much toilet paper i was using yeah because before if you have poops like me you gotta wipe i don't know maybe like 12 times or something but with two she you just gotta dab like a gentleman right here because it's it really does all the showering for you it just ass blasts you and then you're just like now i just gotta like dry up and dab the moisture yeah it cleans it up it's easy you don't even need an electrician you don't need a plumber like some of the other ones so it's super easy to use you save on tissue paper and you feel fresh like you could you know sometimes the things that i hate is like you take a shower and then you gotta poop right after you're done this feels like you just took a shower on your butt yep and it really cuts down your tp usage by 80 and i was wondering why i'm not buying
10:59 toilet paper and i'm just like especially during the pandemic when everyone was hoarding ████ toilet paper i'm like ha joke's on you because i don't even have to go to the store so we want all of our listeners which is you guys to have clean butts like us too so go to hellotushy.com off the record to get 10 percent off plus free shipping that's hellotushy.com off the record to get 10 off and free shipping i feel like when i hold in my throw up though and then i finally do it actually makes like i feel like that s███'s been brewing for some time all the ████ bacteria has been spreading so i feel like it makes me sicker yeah i mean you're supposed to throw up what you have to throw up but i just can't bear to do it why i'll do whatever thing i hate the feeling of throwing up but after after you do you feel immediately better why did you throw up
11:49 two weeks ago i just drank too much [Laughter] i've done that a long time but you know sometimes life just asks you me and steve will you'll be taking shots but sometimes you take shots sometimes you need to you know oh you know that's the last time i threw up actually was a friend's giving at my buddy's place and everybody was like let's take a shot i don't drink right and it was like one shot of uh patron i think and i've taken that before and i felt fine but for whatever reason this one just obliterated me like it completely obliterated me and we were like eating dinner and then i was like oh my god i have to throw up and i'm like one shot it was i remember the moment like i felt immediately drunk i was talking to a friend and then all of a sudden i feel everything start like shaking and kind of coming together and like just feeling really like oh my god like that's on some other ████ though
12:39 then yeah it probably wasn't just because there are times where like um i can ████ drink like a tank and i'm like barely buzzed there's just time well i don't know if it's something i ate that day or just or didn't eat that day didn't eat right and i'm just like i'm just a gangster but then there are other days when i feel like my throat's closing i take like half a shot i'm like oh man it's gonna be difficult today maybe you shouldn't drink any more alcohol i can't drink at all at all purple there you go why you gotta say it like that you ████ perky little guy look at the judgment look at this okay maybe you shouldn't drink the thing that makes you throw up it's just all i'm saying quite logical it's a poison no but i mean if i drink every day and i throw up like once every three years i feel like the ratios are good pretty good that's pretty good i took joe to the sushi restaurant i found it was really good and then i don't know what happened but that day like the uh
13:30 it's really good but they they forgot like half the order and then so we kept asking like we have the order and when they finally brought it in it was good and then when i went home um i started like feeling nauseous like i could almost feel like in slow motion like if my stomach was a balloon like it was getting it was bloating it was feeling like that and i'm like oh no this is going to be so ████ bad and i don't want i hate throwing up too so i just chug like a bunch of pepto-bismol and i'm gonna keep it down my ████ keep it down so i went in bed and i laid there and i started having like ████ a fever and like chills and stuff because i think it wants to come out you know yeah but then i slept it off and then the next day it felt better but ████ when i uh but then when i burp like it still has the taste of yeah because yeah it sucks i ████ love sushi so like like the last two weeks i
14:20 haven't ate sushi at all because it just kind of i don't know how that should hit you harder too because i woke up at three in the morning just to take a ████ and it cleared digestion we ate the same ████ and i was like damn dude i thought i was being a little ████ but sushi yeah you got japanese blood in you so you can true it's a little bit more like more cultured into my culture have you ever been at a friend's house where you're like all right i definitely don't want to take a ████ here yeah so you're like but but i definitely experienced a food situation like a food planting situation so i was like i gotta get the ████ out of here i live like eight minutes away but it's la so traffic sucks so i was like okay i can make it i can make it so i get him i get in my mini i start driving and i just ████ ████ my pants shut the ████ up like with it dude within like 45 seconds as soon as you sat in and you closed the door oh ████ it's coming out you could
15:10 feel it you can control you at least my body hooked me up enough where like the door closes i ████ my pants [Laughter] it was all over you had to drive in traffic hot la for a whole hour with ████ in your pants unfortunately it was night time did you soil the seat or did it stay contained in your wranglers i didn't even i thought i i definitely because you you can't tell right in that situation you don't know how much is bleeding through true yeah you just know it's the fog of war but when i stood up expecting to see like uh you know a wet mark or something nothing i was like wow diesel jeans bro you get diesel jeans and you can ████ in those things and you also got some good ideas too they're designed for the for the average ████ yeah that's they got to market that more honestly yeah there are times where like you you feel that feeling and then you're like i can make like i
16:01 don't want to ████ ████ myself and you're like i could ████ make this i could make this and i'm going to hold it as hard as i can and then but but then also in my mind i've already surrendered i'm like if i have to pull over on the ████ freeway i'm just gonna ████ on this ████ even though i surrendered i'm already like it's gonna if it happens i'm not better than nobody yeah i like to surrender who the ████ am i but i already surrendered but thank god i never have you guys ever been in a situation where that's ha like you had to like poop like that i almost ████ on bart's bush the other day goes oh my god i got a ████ yeah that's true bart was taking his sweet ass time hey guys and he's open hurry up and open that ████ door i'm gonna take a ████ on myself i was actually uh going through and then hannah was like he does
16:51 i was going to an airport with mike's song one time and also food poisoning um this is also on the same trip it might be a frame food poisoning while traveling is the worst on a plane so i couldn't even teach my class so he taught it uh i i sat down and i was just like telling stuff and then he was like my body um and then we had to go we had to travel to go home and this ████ uh long ass terminals right really really long terms you're sweating balls the whole time this was coming back from france i think the super super long terminals and then for whatever reason for the international report that we're coming out of um the men's bathroom was closed of course right men's bathroom because women's bathroom was open and then bathroom was closed ████ friends so i had to go to the ████ thing and look at the directory to see where all the other men's restroom is men's restroom on the other side of the terminal i go all the way over there
17:42 with my rolly and i'm sweating you know when you're like traveling it's very who cares and when you're when you have to poop you're sweating too yeah so it's really really difficult well all the way to the other one also closed oh so they closed both men's bathrooms they closed both why'd you gamble like that you wanted to ████ anthony lee over there so then i went halfway back and i was just like there's a family restroom uh for kids oh the one with the koala on it that's fair game though that's very pleasant but the toilet's hella small but it's a locked one where you could just take the pipes or regulations so rather than going into a women's restroom obviously the men's ones weren't available i've ████ out of many women yeah why are you so classy what the ████ up with that i i decimate a ████ chick's bathroom if i had to go i think the kids restroom i just felt like it was a little bit more it had the the male figure still drawn on the wall so i thought it was okay but either way it's funny though because you have to
18:32 take a huge ████ and then one in the women's yeah just take your porn down exactly when you have to take no when you have to take a huge ████ and then it's a small toilet your ████ looks way bigger oh yeah like like it's coming out the water that's available on the thing so man it was the craziest feeling just trying to like fit my ████ on this little thing my like knees are in my chin because like it's like down to the floor but that probably feels like the oh yeah squatty yeah yeah that feels good but i ████ filled it have you ever ████ on her shoes what i was i was in taiwan doing this ████ like little like tour trip thing and that's like bark questions and then we went to uh we went to a night market and we had the most delicious bowl of beef noodle soup but i don't know what happened didn't feel good and i remember they're like taking us into this one like small little town that's on the side of a mountain and like oh this place is
19:23 for their pineapple cakes i'm like i don't give a ████ i need to ████ ████ my brain and i was going and i was going to and a lot of those shops they're like they're like they they live there you know like the bottom is their shop and then and then their house is upstairs so you can't really use their bathroom because you're going into their house home yeah yeah and i finally found one that was one of those bathrooms that's kind of like here's a restaurant and you walk outside it's like an outhouse there's no house it's a hole in the ground yeah okay and then even the tiles are uneven because it's just kind of like rural janky yeah and but i just had the craziest ████ diarrhea so i try to get him like the widest horse but man that ████ just ████ came out and i was like splashing the insides of my shoes [Applause] not a ████ and then they didn't have ████ toilet paper i don't know why
20:14 and then so i came out with some customs on and i took my underwear i wiped my ass and then i wet i wiped my shoes it just smeared all of it and i tried and when i got back on the tour bus should have had a tushy i know i had a backpack i was trying not to like i was trying to like sit on the tour bus like this so i don't have to like touch it with anything oh god and that's the end of our ████ show [Music] you
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