0:00 foreign [Music] Texas bar there's a 38 year old man that's in there trying to convince his father-in-law to sign the divorce papers on behalf of his daughter so it's like you know like you're trying to divorce your wife she won't sign it so you go to her dad okay and you're like hey sign this ████ why would he sign it because that's property do you need the father of the spouse or something I think that's how that works unless she has like what's he trying to convince his father to convince his daughter he might have been yeah it might have been that or was it like you walked her down the aisle and gave it to me I want it back this is the receipt take it back it might have been that it says he was trying to get him to sign something so I don't know so he's in there trying to argue with this guy the um that father-in-law is refusing to do it so the guy headbutts him to death oh my God
0:53 head butt his father-in-law two dead in the bar oh my God I think a total of three headbutts whoa that's a lot of three took three how old was the father-in-law again oh that'll do it what if he was just like he heard his favorite song and he was just head banging and he was doing one of these you know and then it was like oh it's probably coming damn pretty rough Jesus in two pieces that's really ████ up you guys ever been head-butted no I have I heard it's really bad really I have how did the ████ did that happen who had butted you in the middle of choreography no this is such a i i there's there's no moral to this there's no random it's there's no moral to this I was um I had a room in it in college uh my freshman year we were in the dormitories right and then we're friends and then
1:46 one thing leads to another and then we're like kind of wrestling in the dorms you know what I mean just play wrestling yeah and then one thing leaves another again and like it's like the vibe changed you know 10 powered Rangers turned into real fights because you were you were beating him up and he got mad bro maybe and then like when like the vibe and and I think my cousin was there to win the city or something like that um Vibe changes I think it's done and there's this Awkward Moment of pause where nothing happens and then he fully head butts me in like the chest chest no no it's a weird place to have did like a ram move yeah he just ran minty like zidane the ████ out of me you know what I mean um but it's like a head is a very that's hard bro yeah and maybe and maybe also like it was like a shocking experience because like when you you know you don't really see that part of the body coming at you when you're like play wrestling and stuff like that and just ████ hit me in Hell or hurt too
2:36 did you knock the wind out of you what was that didn't knock the wind out of you I think I was more just shocked as ████ you know what I mean because the energy also just changed it wasn't like play wrestling anymore it was like dude what the ████ is wrong yeah you know what I mean but I just remember thinking to myself oh yeah weird yeah and the thing is I was looking up articles uh and I saw this article too right and then for some reason when I read that article uh title and stuff and I looked into it that was the first thing that came to my mind as well my roommate head-butting me you've probably never even think of that yeah I never would have thought about it how'd you guys talk it out after or yeah no it got really weird and then you like left the room and it was a ████ wild and awkward and then for me I was just kind of like uh I think that was just weird I'm just not even gonna worry about it because you know if you worry about something that's like you guys didn't talk about it ever nice not really and then he came back later he's like I'm gonna go get uh
3:26 I'm gonna go to McDonald's you want to come with you know when something's so out of whack that like the easiest way to like you know what I mean if you die don't acknowledge yeah it just like makes it more wax I gotta live with this guy I mean I guess that is that doesn't mean it was just so random guys could do that ████ though that's what I'm saying I have an unspoken agreement that that was weird let's it's too awkward to talk about it let's just be we're both embarrassed by it exactly which is why I'm like I'm like uh not at all ████ relating to a guy who's gonna head but his ████ father-in-law to death but just genuinely I'm like oh human beings do that from time to time but three times they like there's something clicks the vibe changes and they ████ get aggressive dude headphones are real you can even shock the dude it was a surprise attack is it that's what bass rutton said people don't expect they expect the hands yeah that's right that's right and said to come with someone like this and then you can head butt out of nothing he's he's cool yeah
4:16 you're right here you could really damage somebody is that an illegal move so in and like MMA fights there are situations where like people's heads ah that hurts though or people without his boat people's heads Collide like when they're both trying to throw and they hit each other and double cares like there's some serious damage that is done like guys get cut oh cause it's just bones you can't intentionally head butt someone I don't know it's it's not legal at all but it does do a lot of dance from both sides to see what happens yeah he has a head like a Muay Thai Fighter you know what's funny is I do I have something weird in the back of my skull that um because back when I would hit my head all the time my dad would always bug me to go get a CAT scan and
5:06 I'm like all right fine let's see if there's any hemorrhaging doubt it so I went in there I know it just caught the cockiest guy in the machine so I get it scanned and then the doctor's like huh that's weird your head's shaped like so it's like a circle but right in the back I have an extra lump like this oh ████ he's like normally when you when people have that you know like the line into the where their brain is it'll it'll go like that like that's the whole like shape of the skull but he said yours goes like this whoa so he said that I just have an extra bone layer like bone yeah like a little bone knee pad at the back of my head because I I've hit it so many times on accident holy ████ like whiplashing onto the ground and ████ yeah yeah he's like you're lucky you didn't get uh internal bleeding but you did develop just more bone bonuses like your elbow so it's
5:56 your super exactly like my elbow yeah same ████ damn you got an extra bone we also got extra bone huh I have calcium deposits they're like turtle shells isn't that a good thing if it's just enough to protect you more because your body's like this guy gets a lot of damage yeah but it's it's kind of adaptation it's it's that you got to hit that sweet spot you're a ████ mutant dog Ryan is wild but yeah that's why if you look back like that's kind of why I like grow my hair out back here because if I had a bald head it would just look like I absorbed my twin in the womb they look kind of weird yeah I never broken a bone like a hardcore break where I needed a cast but I realized I I think I broke a lot of things like fractured a lot of things like hairline fractures or like yeah because like um my my my toes I couldn't close it for
6:49 like six months and it was like sharp pain and I'm like what the ████ and then I read up and it was like oh yeah that's kind of like a broken toe and I'm like I didn't even know when I did that well like when I got kicked in the rib um I read it as like oh my spleen got uh sprained I got kicked into spleen I got sprained is that a thing but then the spleen got spring bro cake that's close it was good there's another word for like a bruise like a rupture or something that sounds like something Mike Tyson would say if spleen got ruptured it went from like casually like I had a broken rib for because they said that after two months if it doesn't heal whatever the connections tour or whatever and then I'm like all of it is
7:39 though at the end of the day it says how they're gonna what they're gonna do is give you painkillers and uh and that's it well broken rib you can't do a whole I can't cast this stuff you can't so I was just like what's the ████ point so then the point of these yeah I I throughout life I had a lot of uh injuries that I just thought were bruised or like just something ████ up and I was like oh maybe it'll go away but then now I'm like oh ████ they were actually broken bones but I didn't know the difference between fracture Splinter whatever all that yeah strain spring I just never snapped it because it wasn't like a traditional break and that never snap in like a skater break yeah interesting yeah well ribs are the you can go a long time without realizing you have a broken rib you like really my dad fell off a ladder
8:29 one time and he didn't realize it forever this fool does x-ray for a living oh what he didn't even go he's not in the X-ray he does x-rays for a living but he was on a ladder I'm confused there's a really big x-ray okay a dad who yeah but he just was like oh funny and then he just checked it out himself and I was like well there's a line right through the old you know so you can go a long time because even healing it you just like there's no it's just time yeah so you just like don't watch comedies for a while so if this guy killed the father-in-law I bet you him and the chick are going to divorce now what he wanted it's crazy that she wanted to stay with him a ████ Maniac like this she's like I'm not signing it well maybe not until like her demands were met or whatever yeah that's probably what it was it's really like down to alimony agreements and ████
9:19 right have you guys been through a divorce before no okay just checking would you like to share something with the class well it just reminded me because like um my friend she's been divorced totally ████ forget because like you know when they're with a new person like oh yeah you forget their past life especially if you didn't know them in their previous marriage right so I was just talking I'm like man like I made a joke about divorce and stuff she goes oh yeah like me and I'm like oh yeah that's right huh so I'm like how many more divorced people do I know dude I totally forgot because that part caught me off guard divorce is for horror [Music] could you imagine was it like what Steve thinks an Anthony joke is where he's like people get divorced sure got smelly
10:09 ████ [Laughter] Paul got divorced because he's a dancer [Music] foreign [Music]
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