0:00 [Music] Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about how do you handle disagreements in a relationship without letting them escalate. Oh, you just go straight to physical. You just punch him in the face. Straight to physical. Suplex grab by the neck before he even gets there. You choke them. Okay. Cuz they can't say anything. Got it. Hold on. Look at Anthony. He's got the serious one queued up to go. Yeah. All right. Here we go. No, it's too early. You can't do serious answers right away. You look like you got a good one. Yeah. I'm trying to think about when jokes first, then make it real. It's It's It's honestly the Bart approach about stuff. It's You take it to level 10 right away and then it'll never get past it. Yeah. Take it level 10. You smash your head over with a hammer. Probably probably
0:52 not. Probably don't do that. No. What's level? That's level what? Nine. He says like when he's about to get into like an argument or something with Jill instead he just starts being like oh you're a ████ ████ and then they know that that's so that's so far that it's clear 10 just but he also I think he he was saying I do this too. I have the argument in my head first and then I it kind of simmers me down a little bit. You play out the beats. Yeah cuz you can kind of predict a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Well it's like if I say this she's probably going to react like that. So probably don't say that, but I'm going to say in my head and I'm call ████ and all that stuff. I'll sit under my breath while I'm coughing. This way works a lot and I know it works cuz I don't do it. But if you just listen more then you talk. Boo. That is good. But that's what I mean. Like I I don't do that. That's why it ████ works. I try to fix everything. That is very good. But it is like you just take the defensive not defensive stance, but you just go
1:42 passive and just hear them out. You eat your ████ whole. But then how do you do that when they talk so much? Bro, that's there's no girl on earth that isn't going to talk too much. Shut up. too much information. I know that's just women communicate like that, man. And sometimes they say the same thing over and over again. You just have to deal with Yeah. You got to just like don't say the first thing that comes to your head. That's true. Like shut up. What if it's really good though? What if it's really good? Just say the second. You know, dude, I I agree with that. What's the second? That's good advice in general in life. So don't say shut up. Say the ████ up. That happens so much when I'm in text arguments. So it's a sentence fragment. That means he's saying, "Shut up the ████ up." And you know what? That diffuses everything. She'll be like, "Are you foreign?" Okay. Did you have a stroke? Shut up the ████ up.
2:33 Laugh. It might take the tension out. It'll break the ice. Yeah. Shut the ████ up. It'll break the ice and then ice will come after you. That's title of the video. Shut the ████ up. Yeah. Yeah. Shut the ████ up. Shut up the ████ up, man. Great for great for SEO. Be quiet. Listen first. Be good. How do you guys calm yourself down? Be good. What was that? Hi coup. I think I always do this thing same thing where I'm like I'm I'm going to uh leave. I'm going to drive to Utah tonight. I will You know what I mean? So you pack up your bag in my brain. I just do all this real quick. I'm like I'm leaving. It's way better when you actually pack up your bags and you make a big dramatic scene but you know you're not going anywhere. Oh dude. So, I I told you guys this maybe once before, but one of my favorite stories ever about my grandparents is my grandma
3:24 um was told when she was a kid, if a man ever puts hands on you, you leave right away. Like, don't ever take that, right? Cuz I think her mom had to deal with some of that, right? And then uh so one day my grandpa um he comes home and he's he's he's in the the bedroom and he's pulling on one of the drawers and the drawer is like snagged cuz like I think the way that the laundry was stacked it was just snagged. And so my Freda, my grandma, walks up behind him and he he's pulling the drawer so hard that it finally comes out and he elbows her in the back. He doesn't even know she's there. And she immediately just turns around, goes to the closet, opens the door, grabs the suitcase, throws it on the bed, flips it open, and just starts loading clothes inside of it. And he's like, "Fred, what the hell's going on? What the what the ████ are you doing?" And she's like, "My my mom told me a man ever puts a hands on you, you ████ get the ████ out of here." Yeah. And he was like, "I was just trying to open the drawer. The drawer is stuck. I ████
4:14 didn't even know anything." But he was like, but he was like yelling, you know? He's like, "F██████ thing, piece of s███." So she's coming behind like, "What the hell is he dick yelling about?" You know, and then and then that was it. That's ████ hilarious. She was leaving, dude. She was going to get on a ████ train and ████ She was looking for a reason to go. She was just like, "No, Freda, the ████ clothes are so high. I don't know. Freda Freda dick and freedom. What the hell? That's incredible. That's not hilarious. So then how did he get had to end up on the winning side of that? He was able to use reason to be like I obviously didn't even know you were there. I was just yelling at the ████ draw. She's like, "You're just yelling at He's like, I do that all the time." She's like, "Yeah, yeah." It's like that. Just going back with the drawer opening, hitting her with his elbow. She's like, "Huh?" Nope. Holy crap. That's fast. That's so dramatic. So I think it's like
5:05 the sensible thing is easy to do when you're sensible, but obviously when you're in the you're people just got to learn how to calm down so they can think sensible or how do you think sensibly when you're heated? It's exactly like when people watch videos of like robbers and they go, "Man, a guy like me would have taken him down." I love it. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, not in the moment. That's a different guy. Nobody's waving a gun at your ████ face. I have moments where I snap and then it's not I don't even know why. And then like like the other day like we were ████ mad about some ████ at at at work, but then I wasn't even mad at Hannah and then she went um to the bedroom and I was so ████ mad I grabbed whatever was close to me. I had this ████ rainbow mug and I ████ chucked it and ████ it broke at the door and I was like, "F███, man. I like that one, too. It's like one of the happiest mugs." And I'm like, "Happiest
5:55 mugs." Every time I do that mug, it puts a smile on my face. Now I got to go back to the ████ little 7-Eleven and get the same mug. And I thought that I was pissed at her because we were frustrated trying to figure something out. I was pulled out her suitcase. She's like a rainbow mug in the And then I was like, man, I got to blow off some steam. I'm going ████ I'm just getting out of control. I got to lift some weights or something. So then I was like I was like going to the room and and then she locked the door. She goes, "I'm not opening this until you calm down." And I'm like, "I'm not mad at you. I just want to like put my clothes on cuz I'm mad at myself." He said while screaming. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not ████ mad at you. Yeah. I was mad, but I was like, "Not mad at you." And she goes, "You need to you need to calm down." So, I went outside and I was like, "F██████." But then the more I'm
6:45 in this room, I feel like I'm in a cage and I need to put get my gym clothes on so I can work out and then I feel better. But I'm just like, I don't know, man. I don't Have you talked to David about this? David, your boss? Yeah. He'd be like, "Why? What the hell were you doing?" David's just like me. He'd probably be like, "Yep." And did you push the door, too? Think the last uh thing I was fighting about smack fighting with smack about was so stupid. And it was like we were coming back from uh Home Depot and uh we we put all the stuff in the back of the truck like in the truck bed. One of them was like a bag with like some for sale signs, like plastic for sale signs that we're going to put on the truck. And um we were driving back and I'm and she's like, "Oh, take the freeway." And I'm like, "If we go on the freeway, like don't you think the s███'s going to fly
7:35 out the back?" And she looked and was like, "It'll be fine." I was like, "All right." Sure enough, we got the freeway. She just fly. And I was just sitting there like, I told you. And I was like, "Next time you want to go against my inclination, how about present instead of just say it'll be fine." Yeah. Yeah. I got so mad. I was like I was like, "Just give me one shred of evidence why it's fine." Cuz if I'm right, I don't want I don't win by being right about that, right? We both lose. And then like I just remembered that like the thing that calms me down the fastest is just road recognizing who that's myself. That is a I need to blow some steam off. Give me a second. I could do it myself. Grab the wheel. Hold the wheel. Hold the wheel. I'll take care of this. I'm still mad. Yes. Self, road head. No, I just I just It's
8:25 probably the same thing you do. Like I just have to remember who I'm fighting with and that this person is just such always has good intentions. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm the villain every time we argue. So I just go, it's fine. It's 69 cents. Who cares? That's how I feel. To me, it's like I'm arguing with a like a a flower bed. Yeah. It's like ████ scum no matter what's happening. Yeah. Oh, you're going to stomp on the flowers? Really? Yeah. I would like this person is not out. They're not out to get you. They don't care about being right. They just want you to be happy and you're the one on the flower bed. Man, I like those flowers. I would I would ████ pull out a sun a sunflower thing and chuck it and I'll be like, "Oh, the seeds. I've been waiting to bake those." David, did you what what kind of stuff did we lose in this little um argument? You
9:16 lose a mattress, you lose a plastic for sale signs. Oh, that flew up. Nothing. It just It was just those plastic for sale signs. Oh, there two of them. It's like a literally a value of a dollar or something. You could have just brought them in the car. It's nothing. Yeah, that's why I was like, "Oh, that's lit." But you know what? It's the principal. No, it's the it's the I listened and trusted to you, but then like I I knew it not to listen to you. No. Yeah. I was just mad. Shut up the ████ up. I was mad at like the fact that she looked like she checked on it and then said it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's it's super petty. Winging it into the song. Super not worth being actually mad. No. I This person loves me. Why am I getting mad at that? You're like that's what I get for trusting women. So you saw him fly. We both did. Oh, cuz I was just going in it. It just went And then and then we were both she just we looked at each other. We were just
10:07 like well there they go. You could have uh doubled down and been like told you it was fine. Yeah. Here's what I don't get which I probably need to have therapy for is that same situation. That same that same situation. There'll be moments where I would bust out laughing and it would be a great moment. But I can also empathize with you. And there will be a moment where I'll be like, "Motherfucking ████ I told you that ████ You should listen to me." Yeah. And I'm like, "What the f███?" And I look back, I'm like, "Why don't I consistently act to the same thing?" Dude, we had a sad one like the day before that one, which like I ended up paying the price for being right cuz like we were trying to sort out electronics that we had left over and there was this iPad that had like a pink
10:57 stand and I was like, "Oh, there's your iPad." And she's like, "That's your iPad." And I was like, "I've never had an iPad. That's not my iPad." We were fighting about this and I'm like, "You got that iPad for the studio back in the day because you said you wanted to be able to have a quick way to see the camera." She's like, "That's what you said and you bought that." She and we were having this argument and so I went through my text and I'm like, "Don't do not make me feel like I'm having CTE right now because I've hit my head a lot and if I'm really reversing this memory, I need to go to the hospital." So, like I looked up the text. Sure enough, our text from like 2019, it's her telling me, "I'm going to get this iPad because I think it's" And I showed it to her and I was like, "It's not ████ me. This is you the whole time." And she just got super sad and was like, "Is something wrong with my brain?" Oh, no. Yeah, it is. Argument one. I was like, "Oh, f███."
11:49 Also, how long did it take you to scroll all the way back to.3 seconds dedicated? I just searched the word I searched the word iPad in my text cuz I'm not talking about it with anyone else. And then and then it I had to be like, "No, no, no, it's not you. Sorry." like a good time like cuz then she started to freak out and was like I can't believe I thought once you start feeling bad does she turn around she's like skill guy 100% hell for it she was like heavily distraught but that's normal though cuz she like she believed it in her heart that like it was the other way around but humans do that all the time it's not special like people believe ████ and then they just cuz it's in passing right it's not like something crazy that she should remember right it's something so small and like not important, but like it's like remembering where she parallel parked yesterday. It's like the ████
12:40 But my Nikon the one iPad. I don't know. It's kind of big deal. My Nikki's brain's like a computer. So when I do get one over on her with that ████ I could come to it. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah. Unbelievable. That's a hard one to beat. She's like tripling down on Granted, I lose like 75% of these. How often is it? Oh, okay. Yeah, I lose 75% of these. But when I get one over Damn. And then I I ride it for like 90 days. Damn. Damn. It's the best. Her mind is really sharp, man. It's real. Dope. She's a psychopath, dude. Remembers everything. You know what I mean? Getting mad at me. She was She was not serious at all. She was not serious. No, she's just busting balls. Nikki sometimes Nikki sometimes bust balls but she doesn't put any gas on. Oh, because he because you keep
13:31 making Explain the context, Stephen. Yeah. So, me and Anthony were doing shots at the what's it called? The sports book. Sunost sports book. And we were doing like ████ shots, brother. And I really didn't eat that much that day. And so by the time I got home, I was not feeling very good. And I absolutely So Nikki has a sink that is like she has like this particular faucet that she installed that like decalcifies the water and ████ like that. Soft water. It's like her favorite like ████ sink. And I like I guess in the middle of the night and I don't remember this obviously. I absolutely just emptied my ████ stomach out into it. Why not the toilet? I drunk. That's what she said. Oh, you're too drunk. Yeah, I was too f I was just I just don't even remember anything. I see. And so so then uh yeah. So then uh you know the next morning she's like you ruined my l just
14:21 so you know you ruined my life last night. And I was like what are are you kidding? Cuz I had no idea. And and then you know what's funny too about about 15 minutes before that I woke up and I was like damn me and Anthony drink a lot. How come I feel so good right now? I like had that moment like I'm like yeah I'm kind of ████ tight. Still got it. And then No. And then um and then she's like, "Put the ████ bile. Are you serious?" She's like, "Go look at this sink." And dude, the sink just looks like I filled it with mud. Oh my god. It was crazy. Oh no. She didn't clean it up. She just left it. Oh yeah. No, she's not. She's not supposed to clean it up. Like in some version of the story, it's like what happened? And this guy's probably like, "It was Anthony." No. My life that did not happen. Well, somehow she got the information right when we showed up at dinner. Nina hadn't
15:11 even seen naked in a long time. Oh, good see. She's like, "I got a bone to pick with you." But that's her goose in. She just doesn't do any doesn't like it when I drink that much. Oh, so I got you busted. Oh no. No. She knew. Come on, dude. Who bought the shots? No, he brought the shots. Oh, brought. So, it's your fault. To save money. Enabler. You could bring your own alcohol to the casinos. I never even thought of that. DJ's like us. That's crazy. Yeah, we honestly just went back to the car. We got We had the camel backs, dude. We're walking around. You guys are like teenagers before the club. What's your way of deescalating them when you were fighting with the club still? By the way, real quick, I cleaned the sink up. It looks better than ever immediately. Like within 30 minutes. So, yeah. But why did she think it was you?
16:01 No, no, no. She's just busting balls. Oh, okay. Where'd she get the info? Enabler. She was like She was like, "Why couldn't it have been Ryan King?" No, cuz she already knew that we were going out together cuz she saw you earlier. cuz you said hi when she was last. You're the enabler. You're the cause in the effect. Yeah, she's just farting. Right. Hey, it was funny. You're You're an adult. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Can't be having your By the way, thanks for saying that. Like that's all he wanted to say. That's nice. That's nice. I appreciate that. Really felt that one. Wait, what's your thing then? Huh? What's your way of of deescalating arguments? Chokes Nina. What? You don't have a way of doing it? Hey, the time's up. No, you know what's funny that so that night we were we we came home. Keep saving him. After we all had dinner, we came home and Nikki was like, "Hey, did you not want Anthony to know about the sink thing?" And I was like,
16:51 "No, I was just joking about how like I was just trying to let him know that you were joking about the shots thing." And she's like, "Oh, I thought he already got that." Oh, no. No. My balls are sweating because Nino was there. You already know. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. I've toned down my drinking a lot. I just haven't fully stopped. Yeah. So, I just pick and choose my occasions. We're betting on the Warriors, dude. We had playoff season. Understandable. It was different. Do you solve all your problems sexually with in your relationship? That must be a nice movie. Answer what me and Nina do. Anytime it like starts to escalate, we the somebody quickly just goes like somebody just quickly goes, "You better say sorry to me." Oh, that's cute. And then and then the other person's like, "Wait, I'm mad. You say sorry to me and then that's the argument. We're not arguing about about
17:41 the thing anymore. We start arguing on who's going to give in first and then it becomes deflated. So ████ cute. This is why you're undressing. This is why I'm putting my clothes back on. Arguments always start. I have to apologize after sex. Sorry babe. She's like you didn't make me come again. Has that happened to you where you guys were angry with each other and then you had sex and then you said sorry after sex? Sorry about the sex. Sorry. So great. Like you have sex while angry at each other. Maybe early in the like an usher song or something. Sorry about that. You anal just angry sex. Sorry you barely came. Sorry. Sorry you barely. Barely came before resolving the issue. You know what I mean? I think like that's the resolving cuz she was like, "You never make me come." And you're like, "Oh yeah." Like what was all that you were dribbling? Why were you dribbling
18:31 out of there then? What was dribbling out of there? Dribbling. Don't ever say that. Look at the white stuff that came out. Trippling. Sick. Don't ever say that. I know how to talk to girls, don't I? You're Danielle Steel. God, you're lying. There was white stuff. I seen it.
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