0:00 [Music] Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys. I uh wanted to ask you if uh you know those moments where you are in class or something and something's so funny but you can't laugh because you get in trouble. When is the last time that's happened to you as an adult where you really wanted to laugh but this was not the time or place and you had to hold said nothing. What? It's a lot of it has happened. Let's talk about that because people will be able to look back at something now because of that. No, it was when Min from what's the mortgage was here or ask men when uh and he was just talking about something he did in Tustin, but he just said it really quick and high and honestly the way he said wasn't funny. He was just like he goes, "Oh yeah, in Tustin." But then for some reason Bart
0:51 just was like that's also because he's talking about all the Chinese people in Tustin. So I just said test in like how a Chinese person will say it like I was like oh but it just seemed like he was just making fun of him real quick but he just said it so funny. He said it so fast and then me and Nick just caught each other looking and I see this dude busting up and I'm just like it was so dumb. But he was just mid story. So I didn't want to like for real laugh but this guy started laughing. That's another thing why it was funny cuz men didn't stop telling the story. I thought I was the one that heard it. These two guys were just like M's like I bet this is going pretty well. He actually looked and was like what are you guys talking about? What's going on? What the hell? M story this like tutan tutan. Yeah cuz I when I it was such a reflex tut. Yeah. I asked him like where in Orange County was it? And M was just looking like Tustin and then
1:41 part right after. Was this a day a day two video or a day one? No, this is like first half. It was like 10:00 a.m. No excuse. We have no scapegoat for that. It was like 10:30. It was so dumb. But I feel like the I feel like editors won't cut to you guys cuz I mean he was he just kept talking so it's not going to No one will see that. That tends to happen. But you might see cuz I'm sitting next to him. You're going to see me looking at these guys like the ████ are you doing? And then at the end I was like ████ it, dude. We already gave too much. I was like where did you say it happened again? Stop it. It's such a like lowbrow humor moment that you had to laugh. Yeah, I like it. Very childish. That was good. That's a good I'm glad you thought of that cuz that was funny. So stupid. Anybody have any others? I
2:31 had one recently, but I think I'm trying to remember the situation. Somebody said something kind of ████ up and I just started laughing, dude. And I just couldn't Okay, this is what happened. Yeah. My neighbor, he has special needs and he uh was taking out the trash cans cuz you made him. Cuz I made him. This is a ████ stupid thing. Okay. Anyway, um but I was talking to him outside and he was telling me that he tried out for um he tried out for Love on the Spectrum and he was like, "What?" Yeah, he tried out for it and I was like, "Oh, cool." So I go back in the house and I'm talking to Tiff and I'm telling her I'm like, "Oh, you know, his name is Nick as well." And I was like, "Hey, you know Nick try out for Love on the Spectrum?" And she looked at me and was like, "Are you making a ████ joke right now?" And right when I right when she said that, I laughed cuz I was like I was trying not to laugh cuz I knew if I
3:21 started laughing it's going to sound like you're doing a bit I said that as a joke and he really didn't say that at all. But in reality he really did say that and Tiff is looking at me like disgusted and I'm like how the ████ do I navigate this? Is that joke would that joke be that disturbing to Tiff if you just made Does Tiff watch this show, dude? Yeah, but it's like in that moment it was just like cuz it's like we're having a normal conversation. It's not like we're not like joking around. Yeah. We're not doing this is just like I was like yeah. But then also imagine he didn't actually audition and he just decided to come and be like hey. Yeah. And but then Tiff was like she's like that. She's like that's a joke you would say though. And I was like no I wouldn't dude. I was like is he like a really nice guy? Is that why he's he's he's the best. Okay then. Yeah. We always the best. No he's the sweetest kid ever bro. And uh I'm always we're always looking out for each other. You know, we're neighbors and ████ right? But she said
4:12 I and I started laughing because I was like, "F███, now you really don't believe anything I said." And and then I told him that he said, "I guess they're only letting autistic people on the show." And I was like, "That sounds Wait, you said that? No, that's what he said. He Nick said this to me right after." And I said that to her. That sounds like another joke. That sounds like a joke. It's like when you go, "Oh, I didn't know only gay guys wore black sweaters." Sounds like that. And I said that to her and then she was like, "Stop." She was like, "F██████ stop." And I laughed again. And then she's I'm trying to like your reputation is strong. Yeah. She's like, "What the f███?" She goes, "What the ████ is wrong with you?" And I'm like And I'm like, "No." And I explained her the whole tagging the joke. That's what I'm saying. It just It just sounds worse every time I say something, but this is just really what happened. And she eventually like I eventually convinced her after 20 minutes and then she goes,
5:03 "Okay." And that was the end of the conversation. But the whole time I was like, "Damn, you think I'm a piece of ████ huh?" And if you laughed, it would have broken off. No, I I did laugh and then every time I laughed, she was like, "Stop making a f██████" And I was like, "I'm not making a joke. This is literally a conversation. It's so factual." Yeah. I'm like, "I'm not doing anything." But I just knew that she had me be ████ dead to rights. Damn. That's what you get, dude. Yeah. And I was like, damn, I got to stop making so much jokes. Probably I got to like kind of chill out cuz that kind of got me in trouble. It does sound like a perfect thing you'd make fun of. Yeah, it sounds like the perfect joke we would do here. But no, we wouldn't though. Especially like all lowanging fruit. I believe we're joking. 100%. But people won't know that. But I don't even want people to know that. Especially when Steve goes and then gets cancelled. How dare you, Steven Paul Green.
5:54 There was a there was a thing recently I I had officiated my cousin's wedding in the Philippines. And so, uh, it was I co-officiated with my really older cousin who's like in his, I don't know, almost 90. How do you co-officiate? Uh, because he does all the religious prayer stuff. I do all the jackass stuff. And then so like we're trading off and then once it's time to do like the like a serious uh like ceremony part where they do like some union thing, he uh started he's really old so he started to like choke like he he like went down the wrong pipe. But then he was so committed to speaking and continuing but not just like stopping and clearing your throat. He's trying to push through it. Don't be a ████ And then I'm just in the side like I'm trying not to laugh because this fool's like really hanging on and just like he's just going it doesn't even sound like words anymore. And then I'm looking for anyone
6:44 in my family in the audience who's like not about to laugh so that I don't laugh. And every single one of them was like trying to hold it putting like going like this. And it went for a really long time. And then uh one of my cousins comes up with a water bottle like from the audience to give it to him. Yeah. He's still trying to talk and then my cousin puts the water bottle to his mouth and forgets to tilt it. And so the whole time my cousin's just like and nothing's happening. And then he takes a he takes a drink. We listen on the mic to him drinking water. And then he's he goes It's It's worse. Want to hear it? You record secretly. This is like from the actual wedding. Listen. I join that find each other.
7:41 Please give them strength. What the ████ to keep their bows as they have made changed. Help them to support each other with patience and honesty. teach them to be with. It sounds like someone's interrogating him. He's being watered, bro. And so he's drinking water right now. Okay, listen to how much worse it gets after drinking water. We pray for their
8:33 parents that at this moment of parting that they may rejoice in their children's and thank you for this that's like that's not how he sounds normally at all. He just sounds like a regular person. So the for context the reason why people are going like this in my family right like they're not it's not just that they're trying not to laugh. this dude uh he's a pastor. He's a retired pastor. Okay. So, he has done a million sermons. He um that at one point he in his life he had a heart attack in the middle of a sermon. Oh ████ So most of my family was like if this dude is about to have a heart attack, it's going to ruin this entire like it will immediately become
9:24 about that. So everybody was like crossing their fingers that this was just going to like snap out of it. Yeah. And he made it through. But like maybe he even thought he was about to have a heart attack cuz he wants to finish the speech before it happens. ████ God. So it was like that moment had so much cooked into it that we were all just like looking at each other like god damn, dude. Yo, that is sound that sounds funnier than Holy ████ The reality sounds way funnier. And it's like a beautiful beautiful wedding by the shore. Everything's like like gorgeous and the whole time. And that's very like typical for our family that something funny like this should happen. But we we didn't want to laugh also because the other side of the family doesn't know any of the context or why this is risky or funny. That's crazy. He has so much experience in this and he didn't go like excuse me. He thought he was going to die. Power
10:14 through. Got to power cuz it sound like he just I need to I need to get this out. He's a real pro. Yeah. I think he's he's also very stubborn. So like he's not going to like stop and and you know he goes h that's just a little cough. No more. And he keeps going there's another cough. That's the last one. Yeah, it was pretty rough. So, like after the like the ceremony, like the other family was just like, "Is your cousin okay?" Cuz like I made a joke too that like like we're we're literally like first cousin, but he's like almost 90. He's your cousin. Cousin straight up. Like his mom is my dad's sister. What the ████ You got a 90-year-old cousin? He asked He asked if you dated him. Mind of trouble. You asked if I dated him. No, cuz you dated. And then he laughed his ass off. You're like, we're literally first cousins. I was like, do you date
11:05 him? And this guy looks at me, he's like, you ████ ass. If he has to say that to you. He still smiles. Look, it's just such a cheap bit. Yeah, I'm in I'm in awe. Oh, cheap. Cheap bits. So you can't do I love cheap bits. I love cheap bits. Okay, well the ████ you I just couldn't believe how cheap it was. It was in the dollar ████ rack. Like come on. That's a swap me bit. It was like three for a dollar. This guy's walking in and say, "Hey, our name tried out for Love on the Spectrum." Yeah, that was a That was just true though. That was just true. I'm I'm with Tiff on that. That was just true. Stop. That was crazy. It's not a bit cuz it's true. I came inside and we were literally watching Love on the Spectrum. I told her that and I was like, "Do you know Nick tried out for the show?" That's pretty funny though. We were watching that. We're watching season 3 or whatever. It's pretty funny to imagine you as a cold
11:55 joker in that moment. Well, just Tiff just looked at me with such disgust, bro. I was like, "Oh, I see what's happening here." Yeah, she thinks I'm a piece of ████ And she's right. This never happened. I didn't talk to Did you date? That's pretty funny. Anthony, every time I think about not laughing, not laughing and being like, "Oh s███." is I was like seeing this girl and she was having like Hanukkah thing and then her whole family's there and her grandma's there and her great grandma's there and like the whole family's there and then like they're doing the lighting of the manora and someone left the dog in the room and the dog he's so happy and ████ that he starts wagging his tail and this is on the dining room table and he just puts out every single handle in the manora and I just started I couldn't believe this was actually happening cuz that's like the whole thing about the religion is like the oil survived. Yeah. Like a cartoon. And so I started I was
12:45 laughing so hard that I was crying and I could but I couldn't stop cuz I'm a child in my brain. Yeah. And I just laughed and laughed the whole time and it was really weird cuz I laughed the whole time. What happens? Do they just relight eventually? Yeah. Once you know I stop I was done howling. Oh, you were the only one laughing at No, I thankfully I had another buddy of mine who who was there who was also finding it very funny. But we were It was just so rude to laugh. Yeah. As hard as we were laughing. The Nordic candles going out. Damn. Dude, it was insane cuz it was also like perfect, too, cuz it was like day six or some ████ So, it's like a lot of candles going out. Happy little dog at the same time. Yeah. And the dog's just a golden retriever just being like, "Hey, hey, everybody. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." And like just wags the Almost like a That's almost like a meet the parents scene. I know. Exactly. I'd never seen anything like it in my life.
13:35 And it was just so actually awkward that I was laughing at how awkward it was. One time I had to go to the bathroom. I was training somebody and um cuz I had to leave cuz I had to remove myself from the situation. And it was something small. It happens all the time. Um but my client was picking up something and he just let a little fart out and it just Oh no. It was just a little and I just Oh no. when he picked it up. I just, bro, I just couldn't like He didn't acknowledge. He didn't acknowledge. He was like, "Oh, excuse me." And I was like, "Oh, that's even worse. That's even worse." When you're polite, don't say it. But But you could tell he was a little flustered. He was like, "Oh." But he felt a little embarrassed. And I didn't want to make him feel bad. So, I just was like, and I had to like cover up my my face. And it's like, it's hard cuz you're trying to be professional and ████ You're like, "Yeah, yeah, just like 10 reps there." And I was like, "I'm going to run to the bathroom really quick." And I had to just ████ like cry in there for a sec. I like game cuz it's like
14:27 part of the reason why I'm laughing is like god are you a like like you Steve like are you a ████ child like it was just a little it was a tiny little fart that's all it is it happens you laugh though are there people that like to be honest are there are there people that just don't laugh at that at all when it happens for real I think when it happens to them when it happens for real it's like when they're embarrassed and ████ I thought that's like a genetic thing that when you hear it your carnal side just wants to it's just hearing that out of nowhere that's like passed down through thousands of years. This isn't the gen that it's freaking fixed. I feel like if you lived in Malibu in one of those beach houses, you wouldn't laugh at that ████ Yeah, you have to. What are they laughing at then? Those stiffs. Not when they're farting. If they're farting, that's a different thing. If I'm picking up a kettle bell, then I fart. And I can I can imagine that. Like, do you think a room full of
15:17 girls don't laugh when one girl farts? I think they have to laugh. Wait, for sure. Cuz they've been also been holding it this whole time. They don't want to let in ████ guy. But are girls better at like, you know, preserving your embarrassment? Are girls? Girls girls might be better at preserving actually in that moment and then talking mad ████ in the locker room. That's not so so I think remember imagine like a chick sitting in a wedding dress or some ████ and her bridesmaids are there and then she like tootses real quick and then like one of the bridesmaids laughs and they go through the wedding and stuff and then like later on during the night she's like ████ crying in the corner and ████ and then she's like ████ Macy was ████ laughing when I ████ farted on accident this ████ and all the other girls are like joining in piling on like oh my god this ████ ████ I can't believe this ████ I would never Oh my god this is your ████ day girl I would never laugh That was ████ crazy. And then and then she's
16:07 like, "Yeah, I was I can't believe she said like, "Wow, sound like a wet one." ████ what a ████ little ████ Wow, that was a wet one. And that girl just gets excommunicado for the whole thing. And she doesn't even know it yet either. She's just like enjoying your time with her boyfriend. It's so much fun. Hope I catch the bouquet. This ████ throws it diagonally the other direction just to make sure she knows like subtly. Oh, I'm not cool with you anymore. diagonally the other direction.
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