0:00 [Music] so december 4th of 2003 a uh a father tells um you know he goes out for a night in the town and he he um he was on his way back to pick up his kids from the babysitter's home and then he disappeared completely disappeared this is 2003. picked up the kids he was never seen or heard from again and just last week they found uh his body in a car that they fished out of a ████ ravine whoa damn sucks for the kids dudes we're matching those kids it's like dad's coming to get us and you're with the babysitter and then you never see that ████ again and then they just found out that he he did he died from like he didn't disappear like ████ abandon his family like he died how long was he
0:51 in that car 2003 2003 holy so that his like bones and ████ was on the steering wheel like that it was yeah bones on the steering wheel holding the steering wheel yeah yeah bonus bone hands like they risk dig the car out skeletons ████ with a hawaiian shirt sunglasses yeah well looking like fear and loathing and ████ because he was going to go on vacation that's how they found him and then finally the babysitter was like clock off that's a good movie called the babysitter like she's like she had one job and she ain't gonna ████ it up she had one job and then she's like still the babysitter till adulthood yeah she adopted the kids she had no choice yes and now the guy owes her millions of dollars but he's dead mr boneham and that's what she was
1:41 looking forward to the whole time she's like once the dad comes back i'm about to get paid like it's like a lien sale when you leave your car at the mechanic they just own it after a while with a sign that says after 30 days yeah happens with kids and babysitters babysitters especially we're all laughing about this tragic story yeah what else would we do yeah it's a dead deal was there was there a sign of like uh an accident or the car was just found they just they found the car in the in this um waterway and they um they uncovered well first they they were inv they were investigating waterways just in general just for maintenance and they found using technology they found there was there was this vehicle in there and then when they pulled it out they found his body and then they connected the license plate to a cold case from 2003. i wonder if they just like to the forensics to find out if it was suicide or if it was an accident they just look at the expression of his
2:31 skull if he's like versus a smile versus like relief or maybe he falls asleep with the wheels he's just like that not only did the skulls just here handing on his tight though do you think there should be like a giant initiative now that there's this apparent technology for like everybody to check every ████ waterway and lake and stuff i bet you they find a ████ ton of dead people did i tell anything i'm like what if we could empty the ocean like in one second like imagine all the ████ up ████ you'd see in there dude that shouldn't be a bunch of dead fishes yeah well that too i would definitely unfortunate part but if you could just like for some reason remove all the water real quick and just look at it it'll be sunk in cities you know they found one in india when i don't know when but i saw a documentary where on the coast of india some divers were going down looking for some oil ████ and
3:21 they're like hey this looks like stairs and then they ████ uncovered a whole ass city that sunken that used to be on the coastal area which they say like oh there's a mini ice age and when that ice cap melted it just covered up a lot of the coastal areas all over the world holy ████ well they found one next to brazil too and when they looked at it it was because a guy left his sink on the whole ████ city wow crazy what bandits i think they plugged by the time they found out it was too late it was already going down it was too late it's too late for the city yeah just leave it on yeah that water bill must be crazy dude it was over sixty thousand dollars sixty thousand it's never been paid yeah i heard that's what i read you know they say um what is it venice venice is sinking yeah
4:13 in italy oh yeah yeah oh we gotta go there before it goes underground that's gonna be gone within a hundred years apparently you see it when you go there there's like parts of like the cathedral that's wet you see the tiles going under the water i heard there's like times in the year where the whole place is just like knee-deep in water all the venice already yeah there's footage already during like the pandemic they're like oh it's been crazy flooding and then we saw the footage there where during the pandemics nobody was out like ████ fish were like swimming around and stuff there's no reason that's right i remember that i heard miami sinking too my sister lives there and everyone that lives locally they're like yeah these waters are way lower than it used to be higher sorry or higher the cubans are twerking too hard and then every time they shake the ground gets pushed down because it's like a jackhammer effect you know is that really happening a lot of cubans like to twerk the bush
5:04 the books the butt shapes yeah do you think this guy died of foul play or you think it was just like a total accident oh there's they're investigating it still because his body was in such a strange condition i remember as a kid you know in the mail you'd always get that card that's like disappeared or whatever yeah and like you get one every week and i'm like why the ████ people disappearing all the time i never got it remember the milk carton faces the missing milk i'm like are these ████ people really disappearing this much i started seeing it so much i actually thought it was a fake as a kid i was oh this is like ████ national enquirer type ████ they're just trying to scare me especially when you see the dates have you ever looked at that yeah some of the dates are so far back like this dude doesn't look like this anymore they show a picture of a baby and they're like this chick could be 25 now i'm like too late there how the ████ am i supposed to match this face to a 25 year old it still looks like a baby though let's
5:55 sketch it or they have to really give you like this is what they might look like but you know that that tech back then this is like 25 years ago you don't know if they've been eating too many sandwiches and they got big or whatever exactly chances are if they're kidnapped they're eating tons of sandwiches yeah they should they should have like they should have gave three different photos like if they ate too many sandwiches if they're average size like dude if you live next to quiznos you're gonna eat a ████ up sandwich because that's just how it is that's that's on the list like you got the sandwiches all right let's kidnap this ████ if i did get kidnapped though i hope i got kidnapped by a culinary genius and not like a you don't mean like what's this that's probably best case scenario ████ yeah man try my new menu joe the person comes and goes four forums like are you a culinary genius pretty sure nobody's ever thought about this joe's the guy that they like kidnapped
6:46 him but then within like 30 minutes they drop them back off like ████ this i think that's exactly why i never got kidnapped as a kid did you ever did any of you ever come close to being kidnapped as a kid uh i was one time jealous because i wasn't abducted while my friends almost got abducted i'm like how come they wanted to ████ play with you guys but not me you know you felt insecure it's the jealousy of not getting abducted yeah i was a stranger at the park you know having conversations with all my friends except me and i was just like when am i going to get any attention from this weirdo dude when the kid ████ that teacher remember the hot teacher and i was like mary kay later or some ████ though the little the samoan kid yeah yeah she was funny and i remember a utah lady oh yeah oh the one that they got married and had a kid yeah wait is that texas she was a lg one i remember i was that age where it's like
7:36 god damn i would love to ████ a woman like that yeah you know what i mean it's called is it called like uh jail baiting yourself like reverse molestation because i remember having fantasies like as a like fourth or fifth grader right and then you're just like man like girls my age so weird looking but like college girls or like women or like the teacher they're so beautiful they got like big boobs and they don't have like braces and stuff yeah yeah exactly right you didn't like girls your age at that age you're like watching portals for the first time you're like dude i don't want my dick sucked you start fantasizing about the girl next to you she's got braces you're like oh yeah weird no it's always women for me and like like a grown ass woman yeah but like it was like especially our age like ████ we all wanted to ████ madonna and stuff madonna that's weird now i i had a thing for paula abdul back then oh yeah i
8:27 thought it was hot yeah my elementary days paula abdul i wanted to have orgy with the whole baywatch cast yes baywatch was my ████ dude pamela was so i know baywatch was so even apple off i saw her uh in a magic show in like 2004 yeah she was like doing it was called hans clock the beauty of magic and i was in vegas and i ████ saw the show and pamela anderson was like the magician's assistant did she get cut in half yeah she got all that ████ she got cut in half saw it in half they cut her hand cut her head off was she introduced as the pamela anderson or she was just like no they picked her up from the audience then she did 14 shows no yeah it was part of the whole thing like it's like hans clocked the beauty magic with pam anderson which is such a weird thing but yeah i remember um married with children always had the hottest oh dude and it was it was not i wasn't that much into christina
9:17 applegate or kelly but her friends yeah the other like side characters how are you not in the christina applegate her friends were hotter yeah the guest star yeah she had this redhead friend that was always always like damn i forgot your name but she's one of the hottest girls and i was like you should be on the show that's because they casted the side characters on looks alone so they could afford to just pick the best looking and not the best actresses like you know they always played the bimbo yeah pam was on uh tool time too right yep oh yeah she was she was the tool time chick yeah oh you're right she was the assistant she replaced her with like someone got too big and they like they they switched it out yeah did tim allen ever get in trouble for stuff no way dude yeah dude you know tim allen was a gangster right he was a drugstore drug dealer but it was pre-career right it was like pre [Laughter]
10:10 same with the harrison ford was a drug smuggler yeah no he was a dealer like uh when when he got through with his millennium falcon do you remember do you remember the the um the singers the mamas and the papas yeah yeah all the leaves so they were friends they were friends with harrison ford and they only knew him as their dealer and then when he was on star wars and they finally like they're like so like don't watch movies when they saw it they did an interview and they were like that guy's my dealer they outed him but it was like years ago that he was selling them he fits that role very well yeah he's a smuggler bro we need we need more of those uh success stories yeah i know that's great it's like past the statute of limitations too well the good ones out there because there are good smugglers out there and good drug dealers out there but they're they're they're they're doing the gel method
11:01 [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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