0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back everybody to another amazing episode of the careful boys where today we get super super serious we are potentially allegedly I don't know hypothetically on the verge of World War III some questions whether you had those questions or not what are you doing to get ready for us in America going to war with China and Russia okay so I just found out about this so I don't really have much time it's China Russia getting together against America it seems like that right I mean somebody correct me if I'm wrong but that kind of sounds like powerful force right it's it's definitely scary when are we gonna get everybody to do World Peace Michael Jackson's dead bro
0:50 oh we are the world is not gonna work does it make sense for us well I am he makes songs like that too you know who I think can make this happen we are the world and it's Ramen I don't even know what he's doing he already tried didn't he I mean he got us in North Korea he I'm telling you Trump would have never met if it wasn't for Dennis Ramen first being the ████ American embassy of basketball like hey dude you got to meet my dude Kim Jong like he's real chill so you need we need like we need like Trump Dennis Rodman and Steven Seagal in a room to figure it out Steven seagulls he's all Russia now you can slam him I think he's jump ship he I think he's like oh he's starting a new Aikido studio in Moscow dude America has been too mean to him do you want to hear some
1:41 real thoughts yeah well do you honestly do you want to hear some real thoughts because I'm a to be honest I'm a little scared I've been exploring it and just not like thinking about it in the general space so like let's say it's like not too big of a threat because no one wants the whole world to turn into a toaster oven so they might be doing like Cyber Wars or satellite Wars or like that kind of ████ robot war yeah where it doesn't really affect unless you the common person directly like your roof's not gonna explode maybe the economy tanks and the loaf of bread is 20 bucks those I think are make are easier adjustments because we can all still do whatever we do in our life and make small adjustments like maybe Nick has to charge more for personal training or whatever so there's that level where I feel like where I feel like that's when it's helpful to have savings because you can kind of weather the storm and the economic Realm
2:31 if it gets to the point where it's like my white glove slap to your face and then China and us are actually gonna ████ duke it out like as in missiles and ████ if that's the case I wouldn't be opposed to re-enlisting because at that point I personally think the economy might be so ████ up that I might actually need a job so what better than to just already be on the side of already having a job and then at least your family's taken care of they can live on base I feel like you know that kind of ████ you wouldn't feel like like your own friends would turn on you because you're a ching chong nah because I think they'll be like this guy was Korean in the Marine Corps oh okay okay okay so yeah you're racial fluid yeah racial fluid yeah and it's
3:22 pretty cool and then if it's like ████ um like Normandy action but over here oh man like straight up Bridges so the ████ hits the fan hits the fan I might go like and then just go to China and try to blend it how do you how would you do that you have to wear a body sweater or some ████ your tattoos all over there no I try to be I've been Chinese the whole time I don't know I'm not gonna I thought about that and I'm not then I'm I'm ████ around but I'm kind of serious you know like I know I could if you don't know what level of threat it's gonna be you know what I mean I know Chinese families that would house me but I mean I ain't trying to turn tail on right away you know trainers to The Republic that's what I'm
4:12 saying you just missed this whole murder cup no no I know but then I would be I would have to I would have to turn you in I would be like hey call the ambulance but not for me how many Chinese in in like Western countries do you think would run to China when they ran away from China see that's the that's the best question I think in today's generation I don't know how many of them actually ran away from China versus they came here for like certain types of other opportunities they ran away from communism it depends on the beef so if my dad won they ran away from China so if my dad was still alive he would enlist in the American Military because like do you believe that he's had yeah sure because the pain that he has had from China hurts way more and after he came here his life has skyrocketed
5:02 China's like his why do we watch the Chinese military parade on repeat I think he watches it as a cultural it's like us watching like old dog you know it's like me watching the Nazis March no no it's like us watching it's like him watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon it's just like a cultural oh so it's not like it's celebrating the Chinese blood but not Chinese politics oh God I got it got it yeah and this isn't necessarily a war on polit I mean obviously it is to a degree but this isn't necessarily the same as like communism versus democracy we're talking about like it's just world powers yeah it's like world power right and economies and stuff so it seems different I think my legitimate answer is I go in the ground like as much as I can go underground like like what you mean like you would end up in China not that deep that's way too deep Bugs
5:52 Bunny said uh you know keep digging no I would I would try to you know there's tunnel system under Vegas you know yeah I got a question okay so let's say China obviously outnumbers us like crazy and then for the us if we're not going nuclear they're like we need every able-bodied man that we can get because our military is just not big enough and then they're just like from the ages of like 14 to like fifth no 60. you can if you can pull the ████ gun you gotta go oh that means all of us are in there right that means Dante Bosco is going to yeah would you go would you go I mean we know bar will because he's been in the military I'm familiar with the system yeah but isn't
6:44 it you can't get in if you're 39 or some ████ there's uh yeah that you can age out but he's in his scenario you're like that's what I'm saying like from 14 yeah to ████ 60. it's like the ending of Independence Day let me do careful boys you if you got a beating heart and you can pull a trigger you're in you're gonna be drafted geez okay well he's drafted that's not much of a choice right draft is yeah if it's drafted and then you're drafted here's the trick if they're gonna draft but you volunteer first you can choose your job yep and if you choose your job and if you choose in the medical field you're not in a non-combat Zone hacksaw Ridge right up top if you want to stay alive you want to be in a non-combat Zone well what if you're like they're like okay perfect you're a combat medic and you're like oh no it's not technically a medical job in the military do you need like a be like a nurse or some ████ like what's that considered a combat medic is technically
7:34 you're still infantry man but you just it's like the radio operator yeah a combat medic is still technically an infantry person does anyone even coming that's that guy yeah that's see you know there's there's that also that feeling uh again drafting it's like you don't really have a choice you know so it's like but if you had a choice let's just say America needs you 14 or 60 year olds America needs you it's not a draft but you so you have the choice if you don't go to your draft Dodger social shame social shame for how long it would be complex to answer that at the moment I do have beloved ties to the motherland of China in different ways uh however I will say that there's
8:25 always just like when 9 11 happened and yes I don't deny in this hyper in this case you don't deny it yeah yeah but there's also an extreme feeling a patriot patriotism when you're like your motherland your your home soil gets attacked some like ████ treacherous way right let's say like China actually started bombing like metropolitan areas like our my family was actually under threat then at that point it's not about you don't ████ up yeah it's just like I'm gonna go ████ fight whoever's bombing my my family yeah you know what I mean that has nothing to do with like my blood Heritage that's like no my family's getting bombed I must stop that person where do you think you would fit in in terms of like what you could contribute based off of his secrets I'm just gonna ████ apply for the non-contact yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh maybe oh no sometimes cooks are sent out do you think you can eat because they need to entertain me you think you could like get away with like just doing some dances and stuff if I
9:15 could do that like how some of the guys in Korea do when they sign up for like their army because they have to go for like a year and a half nowadays yeah but they're like entertaining people they just go to the different bases and perform ████ yeah I don't give a ████ I'll be dancing like a monkey jeez but if I gotta go over there dance like a monkey oh man what dude guaranteed if you guys look Chinese speak Chinese they're gonna use y'all for like Espionage ████ do you think I look Chinese a thousand percent I don't speak Chinese though ████ in general you look Chinese as a mother all right he told me in the Espionage in Russia man do you think I look Chinese yeah to General Eisenhower we all look Chinese dude man I thought I was Korean dude they can't use it on the battlefield because they might get confused that would be
10:06 that'll be crazy I've been married a half asian lady is the other guy throw me into it yeah yeah I just tell on her I'll be good right yeah I'm just like hey you gotta pick this one up she's gonna be like I'm calling the ambulance but not for me oh I have another football so oh how in Arizona and uh we had some fans that were serving us at a restaurant and she was like oh you should come check out our reservation and then I was like oh what because she's a Native American and I'm like oh cool and then um I don't know we could just come and they're like oh actually you can't you have to like wear a mask or whatever but like all the rest of Arizona they don't wear a mask anymore they're like oh we actually have our own president and our own I was like oh ████ I forgot their like their own Sovereign Nation yeah so if we got some Native American hookups maybe we could sneak into the reservation and maybe we could become a member of their truck
10:56 Marianne knuckle they're not gonna that you're gonna be like who's gonna available Pocahontas yeah but technically Asians cross the Bering Strait and came to the U.S uh anciently so we might have close DNA somehow you know what I mean like something you say before you get shot dude yeah you never know yeah we might have to hook up we'll see okay I'm gonna try to find every loophole though if ████ hits the fan I gotta I gotta explore all options and then what's all the loopholes and then try to figure out the best ████ I saw Nikki's wedding ring immediately did Wayne do that for a long time anyway then we take the cash and we try to get we try to leave leave the country you guys would literally go to a non-conflict area so okay so let's say that was the first thing let's say let's say there's war on U.S soil California is being invaded
11:47 Hawaii's ordinance I say good get go ahead and get California you can spend time there if you want newsom's house first dude they might do a better job California sucks so they got Ryan Anthony all these stragglers that decided to stay in California you guys are in Vegas you already did for sure I'm dead for sure dude I'm ████ out there serving a Waikiki punch and we got nuked you turned into a skeleton whoa that's what I'm saying she turned to a skeleton I'm I'm actually live I was teaching workshops no Shadow dude you're in California Chinese wise do like workouts you know who won't be a shadow holding the ████ boba tea David so because he doesn't the ideas guys yeah yeah is that some fancy fancy restaurant somewhere is it some Hollywood ████ rooftop party having all these uh
12:38 Hollywood Asian guys tell them I secretly like you but I can't talk about it is it relatively safe to be like a tank Tech or something hey what job will we all have in the military what could you see us like with our skills be nice be honest be nice be honest skill is a monkey he said like a monkey it's hard to be honest he's looking for every loophole in the game I know what I'm gonna do but go ahead if I were to be honest Nick could be a combatives instructor so self-defense hand probably get knocked out oh he's not gonna get killed because he's an instructor deflector I feel like Urban Shield I feel like Steve would be some sort of
13:29 like encrypted Intel specialist someone that can crack the code see what the ████ going on yeah look there's Matrix zeros Computer Guy this is the hottest you've ever been in my life thank you what about combatives instructor Anthony I think would be the chaplain the what the chaplain what the ████ is that like a religious figure the guy who does oh yeah the guy who's like who's like praying while you're dying yeah before people go out to die oh ████ that's what I was gonna do yeah the reason why is I think you're a very emotionally intelligent person and you empathize so much with everyone so I think when people have hard times you can help them that's what I was gonna do Escape escape the war it's also the sweetest thing you've ever said to me it kind of look like a cool Pastor anyway dude or Anthony could be the guy so like you know how they they do not intelligence
14:21 but you know how they do like shows like to like propagandize and Inspire the military yeah like Uso shows like Captain America no no you're like the the Chinese guy who's dancing like running away from the the troops were like oh and the Captain America kills him yeah exactly like and then you like going like but it's a dancer and they're throwing eggs [Applause] I'm walking backstage ████ joke off my face you're like another egg I'm like yeah two dozen today just go over the salad that's so funny yeah make sure when you're ████ dying on the front lines I'm not praying for you okay oh make sure not to crack any of your coats I can see Joe as a machine gunner either on the top of a tank
15:12 it's that rage mode he'll go ████ ham and he's good at games too so he'll just go destroy it like Berserker like he killed his old Squad [Laughter] there's just no one left he just like saw man there's just no no left it's like he turned our whole Squad into chili dude everybody everybody oh there's not even pigeons dude I got him out of the sky everything last man standing Wildlife pigeons are extinct and I can see a rhino may be in some sort of special ops like disguise ninja guy where he has all these special tricks and knows how to like is he Indian or is he is he Mexican who knows honestly I see
16:05 Ryan too doing like something musically to inspire people like who are in the field and ████ oh yeah look at Mad Max guitar guy well dude because you were on a flaming truck um you were off camera yesterday telling us about how or no you were on camera but you were talking about how you take the intensity of like when these girls are doing oh oh okay like ████ score into it but yeah like on the battlefield you're like pumping everybody up scoring to the floor everybody's got one airpods that would be an American tactic it's like back in the day they had the drummer boy that's like but you're gonna do some Gangsta ████ it's gonna be like and then we're all like ████ yeah we're gonna like send me all the dying people so I can say something nice to them right before they die but I can't take
16:55 it anymore Anthony talk to me all right let's see I think China's fully invaded right we're just ████ like we're not even addressing Russia by the way oh we're on the ground their troops are on our ground now yeah and we're just like ████ now what are these rushes on the East Coast yeah Russia's on the East Coast China's on the west coast oh now we're just kind of like post it's just like yeah yeah we gotta go it's like imagine like when like it's like Nazi Germany right and then like it's just in the middle of War just soldiers everywhere we're just regular civilians what would you do would you join an Insurgency group like a rebel group like our military is failing I don't know what we're gonna do how
17:46 crazy is a situation like are we still getting broadcast on TV like there's still General infrastructure or it's like all traffic lights are just flashing red probably be like yeah you go to downtown it's just internet doesn't work for anybody yeah China um believes that um you can't really go to war in mainland United States because there would be a gun behind every blade of grass yeah I think that was like maybe 30 years ago yeah now there's like say there's like a coward behind everybody like we're all talking about running away and ████ hiding and going on a ████ talk ████ on the internet though we're gonna be like what are the serial killers now where are the mass Shooters now come out yeah come get some yeah exactly like if if China was to invade us where would a good point be to like to take first if I was helping them yeah in the entire country where would the where would the Normandy be well you
18:36 probably for sure take out Hawaii I know but you can't get to California unless you get to Hawaii you gotta destroy the entire Pacific food the reason there's so many babies that is like their point as like the whole Pacific Theater and it's far enough yeah it's far enough where if you hit Hawaii they can get everyone ready on the west coast and have plenty of time because it's like five hours away even by flight you know damn or you skip it because like jumby's there and yeah they respect matcha too they respect Boba and Macho but they have it bro maybe what they could do is dress up Catalina Island like Hawaii and like them when they can play Catalina one yeah yeah damn yeah people pull the dancing on
19:26 ████ Catalina yeah and then they blow that up and then they're like we got in Hawaii and then we're like oh you're in Catalina Island how did we ████ that up that would be crazy I wouldn't know I think the best way to invade the US is hire all the hottest Tick Tock girls and only fans girls that was the game the whole that was the game and then get them distracted because you just have one event it's called it's called the D-Day because it's you get your dicks out it's a double D Day right and then all the girls show up at the beach Santa Monica Beach right because that's where all the influencers go and then everyone's go like oh ████ what the ████ is happening there's just so much and then they have uh synchronized torque session and they
20:16 don't know that they're getting paid by China it's just Tick Tock is sponsoring them right right and that's when the Chinese go okay they distracted go and then like well everyone's like mesmerized from the booty shaking they ████ run but where were they the whole time Chinese people are bum rushing it down up the beach they're finally invading right but Who's Gonna Save Us is the Gaze of West Hollywood because they're immune right yeah so they're like wait what what do these Chinese guys doing yeah and they're immune to booty shaking so they're gonna be like hey does anybody join the bully there's there's Chinese guys and then they're gonna be they're gonna snap out of it like oh ████ we're getting invaded see it can I ask you can I ask you for this question have you ever have you ever seen gay guys in West Hollywood actually reacting
21:06 to chicks twerking no because they're like get it honey let's ████ go I think everybody would probably be distracted they they get on their and put their legs on the wall and start shaking too and it's a big party that's that's white if we're talking stereotypes China's gonna win [Music]
// end of tape
