0:00 [Music] welcome back to off the record where we talk about careful things that we won't get in trouble for on the internet aka careful boys welcome back to careful boys where we talk about safe things safe things that don't get us in trouble things that we won't get in trouble for on the interwebs and today we have lauren's cow with us hey guys let's talk about some safe stuff 20 21 guys hello children what do we call it when there's a woman sitting in that seat careful uh careful genders careful careful careful peoples their full equity careful equity yeah is that too far no i just punch them in the face because it's all about
0:50 equality careful boys and ████ yeah because of ████ and i punch them in the face they're the representative of boys b-o-i-z so it's like none what's the b-y-z that's good for boys oh like the boys in the hood i know b-o-i-s is like boys like that's like illinois idaho oh i see that oh makes sense yeah yeah college football you got to feel like a z in there it's like king does with a z or g oh here we go we bit the jab walking is that we wanted to be more than always bringing up jab walking always off camera always bringing up that vlog remember have you never been to a strip club yeah let's talk about that let's talk about it yeah never been why i just never had none of your boys had like a bachelor party or anything like that no you just refused to go it was always the guys in relationships that were like oh we gotta go to uh the strip club for your birthday
1:40 and i'm all like why and then they use me as an excuse and i'm like once you get there you find out whatever yeah and they're the ones that ████ do all this ████ and i'll tell you right now anybody here for an excuse let them they need it birthday they took me to a strip club and then they bought me a lap dance and i was like that's it did you like it yeah and meanwhile they have like five thousand dollar private room stuff in the back yeah they had a good time they spent hundreds of money strip clubs are like graduations you don't ████ celebrate graduation for yourself because you put in work you celebrate graduations for your family so your parents can like be proud of something same thing strip clubs you don't actually go for you right you you're going to go for your friends you go for your friends who are in relationships and your other friends that get no action from women exactly
2:31 i took a buddy to a bachelor party this is like i don't know a decade ago and we go and he gets 14 lap dances holy ████ he's the guy getting married by the way did he bust nuts in his khakis i mean bro 14 i've never seen someone get so many lap dances ever and we all just kept paying for his lap dances so by the end of the night we counted up 14. i'm like dude you ████ cheated bro yeah dude you're a cheating piece of ████ is there a limit though of like at what point where you go man that's no longer a meal that's a buffet double digits is ████ cheating bro that is crazy well is it 14 separate girls or was it like one girl maybe like did a really good job coercing him to like eight songs in a row there was definitely some double dip double dipping for sure but not the same girl every time not say you know i'm an analyst in this
3:21 field or anything like that but you know they they're really smart with their song choice thing because you know it's like a lap dance if you didn't know a lap dance is a song so like when the song plays it's like it's usually just like the hook or in the verse or even shorter than that definitely like the radio reader it's like the karaoke version yeah how would you curate my my first strip club experience like what would you do it's got to be vegas it's better than la vegas well but it's really good too because i heard that it's a brothel when you like really have no expectations your standards are like really really low ellie's like kind of tight and it's called hong kong i heard hong kong yeah that's the strip club in t1 i heard hong kong i heard about that and i heard it's not a strip club it's a brothel it's not a stripper strip club oh because my friend was like about this spot but my friend was a friend i've never been i just went on a bachelor party and they were talking about it oh right well they were talking about tijuana's interesting where'd you go
4:13 so originally we were supposed to go to lake tahoe but it caught on fire was it two weeks ago because i was about to go too it was two weeks ago and then uh and they were like oh you know what like let's they're from atlanta so they're like yeah let's go to san francisco i'm like all right okay cool let's go san francisco but they don't really know the general area that well so they they they sent like the airbnb to the group me and it was san jose what you know dude dude this is not san francisco so we went to san jose so we were in san jose for like three days for a bachelor party yeah for a bachelor party we did go into san francisco for a little bit were they vietnamese um no filipino okay we had some good fun you know the san francisco the san francisco 49ers play in cupertino california do you think san francisco has kind of uh expanded if you will
5:04 oh ████ but call in san jose san francisco that's like calling san diego la yeah yeah yeah and there's nothing to do in san jose so that's true so what'd you guys do we drove into the city a little bit um you went to the strip club we had a lamb party that i'll be pissed at you guys if that was my dancers to the to the house oh sick there you go yeah that's the naked ones not the maids just like yeah but they strip yeah oh time did they have a porta pool it was funny though because they would do games like glow sticks just glow stick games they're like with the is funny so what happens is uh someone gets an erection and they get up no no so what they do uh so obviously a lot of house calls will always they uh they number one house calls they don't send
5:54 one girl by themselves they always have to have a buddy system for like safety and all that stuff right uh and then they both show up and then they like get straight to the point because they always know they're gonna be in in a room full of probably like eight plus like ████ loser guys the loser guy yeah it's a super junk it's like a bachelor that's like whispering it's like a bunch of kids you're like like kids like yeah hey yeah are we gonna play some games don't be shy we're gonna do this they're trying to collect their money right and then there there's this ████ ring toss game we're gonna play ring toss and so they pull out a bunch of those like uh little raver glow stick things that you can like snap into you know and attach and make necklaces and ████ and then they take one that they keep as just a stick and then they go over to a couch and they'll go ahead first and do it like a little just yoga pose oh sticks put in their ass pick a stick of light stick wait in the crack or inside
6:44 the hole in the crack hole maybe whatever's holding at your rack yeah whatever can hold it up and then yeah yeah yeah and then you gotta all the guys all you guys got to get into a line somewhere with like a drone line there's rules to this ████ because you know we're organizing logistical and stuff and you take you know a ring and then you connect it as a glowstick ring and then you do a ring top and we're just ring tossing like horseshoes how have i never heard of this is hilarious this is amazing and then if you and if you make it there's oftentimes a prize like what do they do dance or whatever and they fart and shoot the glow stick out when we were when we were doing it like she was doing it in a circle we're all sitting around like this surrounding her and then we were throwing it in and then someone was like it it built up and then someone was like yeah shang chi in the ten rings and then like and then one of the other dudes right
7:34 dude that's a good advertisement out of the movie that's actually good again you guys at home haven't seen shanghai now you have to go see it one of the other dudes gets like he gets a private later right he asked one of the girls for a private later in the other room and so like he's getting a private and then this girl like put like put like the rings like in her you know like you know in her bra because she wasn't stripping it and then he was saying how like he was she was like yeah do you mind if they're in here and he was like yeah that's fine but then the whole time he was just like thinking about shang chi in the ten rings and then he just he couldn't hold it together he's like all right yeah we can't do this anymore so was he cry like laughing the whole time so he just killed the whole horny vibes he yes he the vibe was killed you know there were no it's like there are no horny vibes yeah the whole time it's just like there's always one guy that's the horned body yeah yeah it's always just good times and then like you know you got you give
8:25 them you got to respect them they're doing their job you typically you ████ feed them you offer water yeah you give them water and then they need to change in a regular room or something you like really try your best to not be like all sexually weird but at the end of the day because they're there for such sexual reasons you're you're actually being even creepier by being so ████ weird maybe maybe that's why i can't hire a stripper because i think i'm gonna be the horny vibe guy i really don't think you would you could smell who's gonna be the horny vibe i am yeah bart's bart's the guy who's like let's get this done aren't we supposed to procreate and the chick's like what the ████ let's get on with this that's what this is for all right that's why he's getting his dick right here he's all semantics wait i can't be hard what's the point damn that's weird point is we're going to take you to a strip club it's really not to disrespect the women or anything it's just to uh you know just give you a more worldly
9:15 experience that yeah i need more experience i don't want to plan on daycare games though does that mean ████ i don't know every time a ring connects with the the stick doesn't she go like ah like isn't that some pressure and some weight basically she's probably like hurry the ████ up she's ████ pissed this one's ████ sucked dude rings all hitting her in the face like ████ aim bro you got stuck in this game we'll play it on jk party this saturday jump down bro we'll put it in bart's ass yeah bart's what's the only ass that is worthy it's whole yeah it's thick enough we need to get like a stripper plus prostitute here like someone that's done both and then we can interview and see which jobs they
10:05 like better mmm that'd be good oh that's true yeah that's actually fascinating server is like less invasive in the stripping world yeah today's video is brought to you by upstar if looking at your credit card statements make you want to scream to the boy like ah you are not alone that's why upstart is here to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel oh i see my life there's hope right there upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online whether you're paying off credit cards consolidating high interest debt oh no or funding personal expenses over half a million people have used upstart to get a one fixed monthly payment that's awesome upstart knows you're more than just your credit score and is expanding access to affordable credit unlike other lenders upstart considers your income
10:55 and your current employment to find a smarter rate for your loan with a five minute rate check you can see your rate up front for loans from 1 000 to up to 50 000 and receive your funds as fast as one business day after being accepted for your loan wow that's very fast find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today by visiting upstart.com off the record that's upstart.com off the record and don't forget to use our url so that they know we sent you loan amounts will be determined by your credit income and other certain information that you put on your loan application go to upstart.com off the record very good did you guys watch that uh movie zola no it sounds familiar it's like it's like uh isn't that the rock's energy drink no
11:47 i love it it's there is there interesting she go like the movie is basically so she had a night of being a stripper with with a friend that she just met and she tweets about the whole adventure yes we did that here it's going to be a whole movie or did they made it all right yeah it's an 824 movie it's good you should watch it wait what wait what what is it what's godzilla girl had this huge crazy like experience with this girl she just met who was like yo let's go dance like and i think was in florida and so she goes on this crazy adventure but she's like ████ what the ████ am i doing she's tweeting oh she's live tweeting she's live tweeting the whole time and then and then you know it's such a it's such an intriguing story and so many crazy things happen that it's they they made it into a movie and then it's it's funny too because they utilize her tweets throughout wow and she says exactly what she's tweeting
12:38 so there wasn't a part in the night where she was like actually maybe i shouldn't strip right here randomly with this random person um yes there were a lot of moments like that but she couldn't get out of it wow it's intense just reading the twitter story is pretty nice can we watch this movie is it it's coming out i think you can is it on amazon it might be on amazon you can rent it zola zola sounds fascinating it's too bad we can't go to the blockbuster and get a vhs of it yeah the good old days i know man look at that last one i think it's in oregon there's one more yeah there's one one last one dude who's going there though do you guys have a vhs player i do not i want to see what this vhs tape is that i have saved up but i'm afraid that it might be a porno it probably is for sure what do you think it is like your childhood bike riding or something challenge porno yeah and i remember my ████ couch
13:29 yeah and i recorded a porno on it or something i want to see i want to see it yeah i think it'll be in you know their stores where i think i don't know for vhs's but you can kind of give them like old tapes and be like hey can you put this on a dvd oh yeah they could do that do they watch it though yeah they're watching dude they're for sure like being creeps about it yeah i don't know it's i have found i found a vhs tape zola tells all the real story behind the greatest stripper saga ever tweeted i didn't even know there was like a category of stripper i think it was the only one tripper sagas i don't know it was pretty good though i liked it you said you read the i read though yeah we did the whole story here on jk news oh yeah yeah yeah you guys yeah you gotta watch the movie it's pretty crazy it's wow you sound quite intriguing dude yeah that's her friend i'm literally looking october 28 2015.
14:21 everything's just happening in in this this i don't know what the ████ is happening what's happening i just pulled up all the tweets right now for the first time because i've never heard about this so what's that what's an example first tweet says y'all want to hear a story about why me and this ████ here fell out it's kind of a long but full of suspense me and this ████ right here next one okay listen up this law is this story long so i met this white ████ at hooters waitress she came in and this old ass big with this old ass big ass black dude this is already funny tweets this is great so you know as a hooters girl we have to talk to our customers so i sit with them and we get to talk and she tells me she dances so i'm like oh yes ████ me too then she tells me this whole king black man is a sugar daddy i'm like oh yes ████ um oh i'm like oh yes ████ my sd at home i feel it i feel it sugar daddy yeah at home i was saying san diego in my head so we're vibing
15:11 over our hoisin or whatever and we exchange numbers and we like next time you dance come i'm gonna come dance with you and they leave so the next day i get a text like ████ just go to florida and i'm like huh she's like i'm gonna dance florida let's go now sketch was skeptical like damn ████ we just met we already taken hoe troops together but i went to florida two months prior and made 15k so low key i was down so i was like okay i'll go let's go and when we leaving all this ████ says is be ready by eight so i called her like ████ i said who's all going she says my boyfriend our roommate and my roommate uh and my roommate has a place in tampa so i'm like okay okay okay i'll be ready so i packed my badass stripper where and i'm ready now my n-bomb did not want me to go he was so hurt so i had to ████ calm down and then i left good this is exciting
16:04 now when i got in the car it was a white boy her boyfriend and this hulking black guy not the same one so i texted her on the slick while in the backseat like another sugar daddy you got a tight ████ and the black dude had her damn phone so he starts laughing he goes i'm using her gps no i'm not at sugar daddy i've known her and her dude for eight years we all lived together so jessica the white ████ pulls me to the side and is like we're gonna be at the club all night this room for jared not us don't even trip so i was like yeah ████ okay but trust i am not laying my head here so we leave our shed at the motel with jared and head to club so we working it was kind of slow it was early friday night the club had hell of rules which is why i'm not used which i'm not used to i'm full of new type ████ but this club requires paceys and boy shorts and all this other ████ whatever so after making about 800 i was ready to go she was talking to some dude trying to talk him out of his wall and they exchanged the number so i was like call
16:54 your man i'm ready she calls the black dude i'm like um that's not your man but okay so i pulled it to the side before he pulled up like what's up with your roommate and she was like oh yeah we're really close before i met jared i was with him he was taking care of me i was like oh well i don't need that she's like taking care of me and stripper language means that was her pimp so i was like does jared know and she goes of course not strike one so then she goes i didn't make anything tonight would you make because he's gonna ask i said um that's not y'all's business jess chill so he pulls up and as soon as we get in he goes what y'all make we said at the same time nothing so he goes damn my girl said she had a bad night too we finna go pick her up his fiance who lives down here we pick her up and he goes nobody made ████ y'all want a trap trapping stripper legal means trick so jess goes hell yeah you got some clients i'm going to back on you he was like you can get some so jess is like yeah i need a trap but jared is at the room and he goes i
17:45 wasn't putting y'all in that ████ hole that was not for him not y'all that was for him not y'all i'm still quiet we pulled to a nice ass hotel on the other side of town he goes i'll get the clients together and text y'all all this he handed her a trap phone so i'm mind blown at this point so let me get to the room nice as ████ just me and jess and i started going off ████ you got me ████ up i'm not about to play with you hoe i'm going home she starts crying and she's like i didn't want to take this trip alone please don't leave me i would be so scared she's ████ sobbing i'm like omg really now i'm feeling bad for her though she goes you can just check the guys in he's not going to force you to trap i said oh ████ i know he not i killed his dead ass kill you i know i know he not i killed deadass kill y'all this is really hard verbatim so she cleans herself up and there's a knock at the door i open the door and some fat white man goes i'm here for the white girl so i check his pockets take his wallet and let him in
18:36 they start ████ right on the bed next to me it was a ████ mess a mess so when they finished he gave her 100 bucks i said what you selling puss for a hundred bucks ████ is worth thousands you tripping she's right though this is like really really good writing though so she like actually starts helping her like make more money throughout no way she's like stuck in this situation where this dude won't let her leave chelsea's work because that's bad for the guy for the girl you saw the movie yeah i saw the movie end so is it pretty like oh yeah it's pretty accurate did you read the tweet first or did you i watched the movie first and then i that she read the tweet first this is all one tweet a great like it just does she say ████ that much in the movie too what because she's saying she's saying ████ is she playing herself she's saying these lines whoa is she playing herself no damn we got to see it faster
19:26 it sucks you went so fast oh yeah because it speeds up so ████ it moves fast in the movie you're like this is all ████ so far tweet wise this is all in uh the span of one hour holy ████ tweet wise yeah so it goes for like dude doesn't she have time to do this she's making 800 bucks because she's telling a story that happens it's not live tweets oh okay it's it's later she she is like you want to know why we don't hang out right so then boom she's writing it all out that's right i wonder if they met up with her and got more details um yes to make the movie yeah yeah wow like to hear all the stories oh i gotta watch this ████ like it just keeps getting deeper but you know it's really everybody should just watch the movie yeah just watch the movie dude i would be like here's 20 bucks don't even give me a lap dance tell me a good stripper story
20:17 all i see is a slit she says we're doing this all night she ████ about 20 dudes and her sorry ass pimp only sent three of them so around 1600 so she really hooked up she hooked her up she got her like 17 dudes wow killing yo and then was charging them like way more good for her she got paid out i mean that's that's a very powerful story i gotta admit i'm a little bit um intrigued but i don't wanna i really wanna watch the movie yeah don't don't don't watch anymore because it gets it gets crazier my favorite phrase is ████ him calm yeah ████ no i know hey babe can you ████ me kong cause i'm not calm right now i'm manic that scene is good too
21:19 i'm
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