0:00 [Music] let me know if this is good news or bad news to you because it almost feels like a mixture of both i think everything is good news okay this will really fit in great with your opinion the taliban are now banning tiktok in afghanistan because they think that it misleads the younger generation wow hey that's they're onto something have you guys heard the theory of it's china's way of taking us down yeah where the algorithm favors like very low iq content yeah so like if we like it and that gets more views then it encourages the kids to do more dumb ████ and encourage the view so it's a cycle of making our entire younger generation stupid and stupid that's so genius if that's real their tick tock it's like if kids are talking about engineering likes go up if they're talking about like political philosophical stuff their
0:50 likes go up so it's like so their algorithm is way different than our american algorithm how come chinese tick tock always got some chinese farm person cooking some dope ass ████ because they need people to be farmers yeah dude no wonder what about the pant what about the panda guy that's running around what's the panda guy do like he's just like a panda suit running around like hitting people that's funny that's hilarious it says chinese unless it's like chinese produced content throwing at us yeah then i'm like i don't like it yeah because i like it there's a weird part of chinese tick tock that just keeps popping up on my ship and it's like well it's not even tick tock it's like reals right but i think it's reuploaded from tick-tock but there's like these tall like chinese like fashion girls that just like oh yeah they slow-mo they slo-mo walk and there's like a ████ huge line of dudes just with photos taking pictures of them what's like yeah what's what's that one song
1:41 that one song [Laughter] we all know the words yeah on tick tock people like doing the slow-mo walking guys and girls i've seen people do that stuff like like these uh like the white boys with the hair that like swooshes up and they always have those other shirts style by the way i've been meaning to ask you oh i'm not i can't wear it so i can't i'm not a fan oh this straight hair little way can get a curl through this you definitely can't you just gotta get like uh you know it's possible that's not natural i have to get a perm yeah a micro perm is that what it's called no can you hook me up with that kit just for you i think the old roman style is coming back do you think if like dance crews were still a thing there'd be like a whole crew of guys with that same haircut maybe yeah they don't have dance who's going balls dance cruise right no not really huh yeah now everyone's like individually doing something because
2:31 it's more it's more financially like plausible to just be a soloist yeah because a tick-tock dude tick-tock ruined vertical frame guys in that good luck yeah it's not gonna work so yeah they're banning uh tick tock i wonder what the taliban ticket would look like if they had yeah what's their algorithm ████ on a pedal swan with guns probably yeah yeah dude that's probably their most viral video by flying yeah but they think that it's uh misleading the younger generation because there's probably hot chicks on there yeah imagine going on a taliban tick tock and it's just all hot asian girls like no wonder dude yeah that's true they're going to all want to leave to china damn yeah that's why yeah they might be like man the western world is really awesome girls dress like this i really believe the thing you said about how their their algorithms geared
3:21 differently for other countries like if they could just make american generation become nothing but influencers and then their generation like they they exalt like people with jobs or careers or like i know they become rocket scientists and ████ yeah but you know what's great about america is we've been stupid and the the whole appeal here is they learn all that ████ out there and then we take all the engineers because they want to run away to america yeah they want to come here yeah let's just let china india all these guys just ████ do all the money and get as smart as possible yeah then we're just on tick-tock and then they're gonna be like one day i'm gonna be smart as ████ so i myself can get an american twerking woman that's the that's the trophy that's the trophy everybody wants a twerking american woman as a wife
4:11 because there's just so much variety here yeah like as in like it could be a black why asia but there's every ethnicity every choice for every human being you know like just like you're ready to go that's true and now it's even more diverse where hey maybe it's a man that you want or maybe it's a buying non-binary trans or something different you want there's every option for everybody everything and then there's a chinese engineer out there that's going you know i've always wanted a non-binary twerking person and where do you find that at you can't do it in china that's bad an engineer do you guys all have a tick tock i don't know i have an account but i don't post on it yeah i don't don't i try to stay away from it because i'm like if i go on that app i see like all my friends even like my ladies she's
5:01 like scrolling all the time and she's like yo i'm like i'm addicted to like two hours bam i'm going like that well it's like and i i know if i have that my position it's over bro so i don't even go on it i can't i love chinese farmers uh showing off their crop like the big mangoes and then they'll be having a whole ████ mango display and i'm like that's so wasteful you got like 50 open mangoes and ████ and then you get an ice cream scooper and you scoop the mango and you like look at it i know man i want that album i think it depends on how you uh like your videos and what you watch longer right and the algorithm goes oh you like this but like if you have like stuff you really like like philosophy tick tock or like ████ anime ticked out or like things you actually like it's like cool i'll look at it once in a while but i won't get addicted to it but i think the people that are getting addicted to it are watching the trending ████ and they're just hooked on that yeah but if you
5:51 actually curate what you like you're you're just gonna view it like oh cool this is what's happening in the ████ anime world cool and then you it's impossible because tick tock will still suggest things right variety so you're on up to yeah you you like like four philosophy ones right then the bouncing booty comes on you're like oh oh and you click on it yeah that's a great stimulus one bouncing booty two bouncing booty three bouncy and then oh where's all my philosophers go it comes it comes around though it comes around that that's that's the thing because i purposefully tried to do that and i was sick of like every time i open my instagram in front of my girl like it's gonna be ass yeah it's gonna make me look like i'm ████ jerking all day yeah yeah so i tried to sing it to you yeah i know so i tried to like un like i'd be like don't want to see that don't want to see that i did it for like months how do you click you don't want to see it my feet my three dots my feed finally became nothing but
6:41 cars rabbits and uh video games finally ████ because it knew that i'm a guy and it's like yeah but you're gonna like it you're gonna like it it's because it's not always what you have but it's who you following your friends that too that's who yeah yeah if your lines are pervert you're gonna it's gonna taint everybody dude mine is like asian girls chihuahuas which one's which [Laughter] just those two you only get that's a pale chihuahua chihuahuas oh yeah asian girls and chihuahuas it's very specific mine's gonna be ████ oh man two things i love most oh my god terrible how do i even i don't even know what this is okay
7:31 i got trucks memes motorcycles girls and chinese peasant boys packing things like noodles mine's a german shepherd wearing a hat dude that's pretty accurate right and then a ████ ton of mma ████ this is this is mine all right there's a dr pimple popper i don't really watch much of that but it's interesting uh some muay thai though bruh has boula and then this giant iranian dude and then like some other fish on brand i would say i'm surprised my ████ fee doesn't have more women it used to have mine has a free cane velasquez shirt for sale you do believe in that cause this i do actually a bunch of scripts unusual ocd obsessions you cannot co-parent with a narcissist
8:21 yeah fitness fitness tattoo stuff that could pop oh interesting i guess i really like dogs i have a golden retriever eating a baguette and then the other dog trying to eat it from him and he's like no mine's all girls video games bunnies and then vanilla ice got a little baby you got a baby you like it i'm actually kind of worried how much bullet stuff i have i think that's great i get a lot of husband yeah dude joe sends me hospital the videos ████ ryan sends me all the house bullet videos if this was your feed as a teenager exactly the same ████ do you would you feel like you're being misled what just hot chicks after more and more if you could talk to your teenage self and they and this was what your teenage self was gonna be seeing would you think hey you're going the wrong way or would you would it be totally acceptable
9:11 mine's all right it's just like mma dogs fitness yeah cars that's like similar to me that looks like michael jackson look i was just scrolling i'm just looking at our contacts yeah now i'm just like wait what is this rabbit doing it was too good he's in the vortex you gotta pull him out you know we're getting sucked in yeah pretty crazy because sometimes i'll wake up right i'll wake up and i'm like all right i got like five minutes to kill so i'll just be in bed i'm just like scrolling around and then i'm like oh ████ that was 30 minutes yeah yeah i try not to do that when i wake up i just don't i don't go on that's the hardest challenge you win that challenge for the day what do you do what's the first day when you wake up then i go brush my teeth you get out of bed yeah i get up yeah i don't i try not to do that or go on i hold my breath and do push-ups really hold it as soon as you wake up i
10:01 just one of the methods i have several you up minutes yeah because i need to i realize that that half a sleep state um you know like our minds so like for example right when you're in the zone your mind's at a i call it a different frequency because you're just firing at a higher rate but that for me that moment of waking up to feeling fully awake my mind is ████ dude because i'm like a nightmare zone or like half a sleep zone or like i'm like awake by physically awake but i'm not like alert so then like my mind thinks scattered negative paranoid whatever right or like i'll wake up with like crazy shock like oh ████ this ████ tiger's chasing me and then i'm like in a hotel room or like whatever so i had to figure out how to snap out of it quicker so then i did uh like i would do like wim hof breathing i tried that i just
10:52 jump into the cold shower that works um i would just get up put on some shorts and run around the block that works so anything that can like get my body moving physically that works a lot but then the easiest thing was to like like move over hold my breath and just start doing push-ups and i just yeah just like just like do 20 and then stop take another deep breath 20 i'm fully awake what's the breath holding have to do with it i think it's for adrenaline oh it's to shock you yeah i usually do the stuff and when i wake up too in the morning just move yeah or the wim hop breathing oh yeah yeah that stuff is really really good it's really good yeah dude this morning i woke up like right before my alarm i was telling him normally i was supposed to wake up at eight right and i woke up i was like oh ████ it's 8 30 so my body was just in shock like i have to leave the house now but then i was like wait a minute i'll get there on time so
11:43 i just went and i just did a quick deep breath and then tried to calm myself down because i was like up here dude i was like holy ████ because you see how breath can change that level of anxiety for you yeah it just completely like reset me and i was like oh i'm on time you're like underrated i wake up i hold my breath too and i do breathing work and i go i wonder what hospital is doing and i go [Laughter] he's eating burgers again good man oh you're literally right that's how you do it that's how you do it hold your breath that's what tony robbins does that's why he's so rich yeah i read his book though do you watch his hospital he's in the ████ ice bath every morning though like he's strong built into his house yeah he goes straight into an ice bath it's like i don't want to wake up to that oh my god i'd rather wake up to a ████ and then i take a cold shower that's fine and then you go back to sleep
12:35 what's your trick for falling asleep though watching that oh i don't need no tricks he goes it just turns 7 30 pm and that's it dude i knock out i can what's crazy is like um i just have to think about something and then you know like how improv show someone gave me a place a location or whatever right yeah when i'm sleeping when i'm ready to sleep i go like this i just need to have a thought about anything that was your improv show red what if it's a ████ i can fall asleep to any word in the audience i'll think about literally anything okay bread and then now yeah that's floating in the sky it's like wheat bread and now i'm dreaming about bread and it's i'm instantly within a dream in like 10 20 seconds that's the superpower this is just the most lucid wheat loaf you've ever had in your life and then it goes and then it goes somewhere else and then
13:25 it goes somewhere else and then now i don't even know that but your mind wanders that's it yeah yeah my mind wanders i'm sleeping if you told me bread i'm like okay bread wait sliced bread wasn't normal when did that start hold on i need to ████ reese [Music] did slice bread come into the picture oh wait white bread wasn't always something we ate damn food i like you too though like if a thought comes i just let it go and then i just i just go to sleep just drift yeah i just dripped into it y'all some ████ booty like me and jill will get ready me and jill get ready like um for bed and then i i knock out probably less than under a minute and then later like i i still feel the light or like the bed moves i'm like oh ████ and then it's like an hour later and she's still trying to read a book and ████ i'm like damn it takes you that long to fall
14:20 dude have you ever closed your eyes and your mind is still awake and thinking about stuff but then when you uh try to open them you're like holy ████ my body feels tranquilized oh you'd be talking about like the sleep paralysis no like like it just feels super relaxed like you're you're halfway to falling asleep like you ever felt that oh but you we were able to open your eyes during no no you open your eyes and you wake up but you're still your body was just about to fall asleep oh that's that's a torturous that's edgy dude yeah basically yeah you're edging your sleep yeah yeah that's not good that's a drug like a sleeping pill or something because your body's like kind of awesome it's so hard for me to get to that thing you're talking about once your mind starts to flow into weird realms and that's how you know you're sleeping yeah it's hard for me to get there because i i maintain logic too long so the way that i ████ force it when i need to sleep is i think this has worked for me my whole life i think of a
15:10 movie that i know so ████ well and that's always back to the future one i watch it in my mind from the intro credits and i try to get as far as i can without my mind wandering without fail my mind will wander your mind will absolutely work because if you ████ up and you think of something else and you straight for the movie you gotta start over so the idea that game the idea that you have to start over is so stressful that you're just like ████ this it works great dude right when you see robert zemeckis producer [Music]
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