0:00 I've ████ so many times outside on the car now that I'm so ready to ████ anytime. What do you mean outside on the car? [Music] Welcome back to a very spiritual and religious episode of Care for Boys. Today I would like to ask you all, let's talk about God, baby. What's the dumbest thing you ever prayed about? Oh, dude. What's the what? When I was a kid, I wanted a Batman toy. The dumbest thing you ever prayed about? I treated like a wish list. Yeah, same here. I was like, God, you prayed for Batman? Oh, I prayed for a Batman toy. Yeah. And then and then it it the prayer didn't work. So, I called 911. Not kidding. Wait, how did you know that the prayer didn't work? Uh, cuz I waited around for like I don't know for a kid like waiting 45 minutes even. I was like waiting 3 days. So, I was like, I don't think I'm getting my Batman toy from God. So, I'm
0:50 going to probably call 911. What did you say on the line, too? I was like, hi, can you please tell my dad that I would like a Batman toy? Thank you very much. And they sent they sent the a squad card to my house. Oh, they're like, "It's a code. It's a code." Like, "But dad, didn't you tell me when it's an emergency to call 911?" Well, it's an emergency. They hadn't told they hadn't had that talk with me yet. I just picked up the phone and it said, you know, I waited a while cuz I thought my dad would be there or somebody would be there from for my family cuz they always are talking to each other on the phone. And then it said, "Please hang up and dial the operator." And I was like, "Oh, I think that's 911." Perfect. Oh, damn. Over a bed. And then because I got absolutely ringed out for it, I I'll never forget that memory. And then I remember just being under the bed while my mom's talking to the cops downstairs and and then being like, "Oh ████ dude. Oh ████ it's over, dude." I was probably like like literally se six or
1:40 seven years old. Wait, what what was the Batman toy exactly? It was gold Batman, dude. I remember seeing it on TV. It was Batman. He had gold outfit on. He was like a little plastic Batman with gold all over him. It was like anti-lava or some ████ And I was like, I I gotta have the anti- lava. That didn't even handle no lava stuff. This one? Yes. Oh my god. Damn. That's nice. Ker Batman Returns Powerwing Batman action figure. Yeah, dude. So 1991. So 6 years old. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. Show you guys. Yeah, that's a nice one. Yep. That's a real memory. Worth praying for. Oh yeah, dude. Worth calling 911 for for sure. Looks like that. Oh, do you guys think that Bart would have bought it for me cuz I figured out how to call 911? No, no, no, no. You got to do research. You got to do research. How did he figure that out? Wow. He'll buy it for Ryan, though, cuz he just did
2:30 his research. Yeah, dude. Ryan gets it, not you. The value of this at the time would have been like $6. Oh, dude. Exactly. How much is it now? 13 bucks. It's inflation, baby. 13 bucks loose. 112 in the pack. You could still buy it. Yeah, people collect these. Like in the pack. 13 bucks. Yeah, in the pack. Not mint, obviously. But like I just need loose, dude. I just needed it loose. Hey. You know what I mean? Anybody else pray for dumb ████ I uh remember when I was in like seventh grade or some ████ like that, I uh wanted to be on the flag football team. So, we tried out. I didn't make it. I wasn't athletic. I was a little bit fat. Dang. And then I was like, "All right, well, I'll try out for the basketball team." Tried out, didn't make it. So, then I remember thinking to myself, I'm like, "If I don't make it into one of these sports teams, I'm going to be a loser." So, I prayed. I
3:21 was like, "Ple, next next trials was tennis." I was like, "Please let me make the tennis team because damn it, trying out for the volleyball team is going to suck." True. Why? Cuz volleyball is harder. More losery people. Yeah. It's just like I'm just going down the tier of coolness right now. Isn't volleyball above tennis? No. No. No. No. I don't think so. I feel like Well, now did you skip soccer? Hey, Bart, do you know a famous volleyball player? Thank you very much. Stupid. No. Thank you very much. Do you know a famous Andre Agassi? You know so many. You know the Williams sisters. Oh yeah. Yeah. Pete Sampas. There you go. So enough said, right? Okay. Okay. True. I understand. So I just I remember praying before tennis triyouts and I'm being like I just remember thinking in my mind I was like please please let me make the tennis team. I don't want to have to try out for volleyball. Did you make it? I made the tennis. How come you wanted to
4:12 be in a sports team so bad? I don't know. Oh, it's just like a part of like what you thought your identity needed when you're like you're just in you're just starting middle school. That's true. Do we even have teams in middle school? Sports. It's like what club are you in? And it's like dude, how how loser can I be? They only had intramural. But we played flag football though, but it wasn't a team. There was no teams for flag football in my my school. They only played each other like different teams in the school. We did it like PE in elementary school. My buddy was a part of a team and remember like those movies would come out like the Big Green and the Mighty Ducks. He had the full It was like little league. It was like league. Yeah, little league but like football. Like he had the ████ whole armor. His mom put the thing on his eye. I was like, "What the f███?" Like I thought we
5:03 only do two-hand touch. Yeah, it's crazy. It was cool. Like, dude, I remember one of my friends was like in an after school program called NJB and I was like, dude, they got uniforms and stuff and I was like, man, I want to be a part of that so bad. Yeah, it looks pretty sick. I was like kind of chubby. So, did you guys do any of the school sport or like the little league like baseball? I was JV basketball and JV basketball or like you were in the ste team sports? I was on team I was on the team basketball team but JV they made you play cuz you were like Stephen you're tall. Yeah, it was like that. Elementary where you're like it's just like you're a part of a team and your your parents like a soccer mom or Yeah, I did I did little league and I did um I did basketball later. Damn. I always wanted to but my parents I think my parents either didn't know where to go or they were just too lazy to go find
5:54 out or whatever. But my neighbor across the street played in all like like AYSO like all those where they played all the sports. And I'm like I just want to wear a uniform for Halloween cuz everyone wears a sports uniform you know like soccer, basketball, whatever. That's funny. And I'm like I don't get to wear any of this except for this gay ass kung fu ████ Got silk pajamas. Did you ever pray before your fights? No, not like that. By that time, I was like not really religious at that point. Like when I was like in middle school, I was like trying to be a a Christian, you know, because I didn't have any understanding what that was. So I would be like I would mostly do it before like tests and stuff. I know. Please like ████ cuz I didn't study. I'd be like, "Please help me pass this Bible test. Please, I'll study next time. I swear." I would do that in my prayers when I was
6:45 a kid. But as I got older, I didn't I wouldn't necessarily pray for that. I just be like, "Don't get ████ up. Don't get ████ up. People praying for so much dumb ████ I don't feel guilty about praying for nothing, dude. No. Especially when I was at that age, dude, I was praying for all kinds of ████ nonsense. I had a buddy who I used to every time I'd watch sports with him, he gets so viscerally angry when sports people are like, "First of all, I just want to thank Jesus Christ." He'd be like, "Oh, here we go." And all this ████ And I'm like, "What?" It's just such a He's just saying this out loud. Getting so mad, but he's immediately like, "Well, there's kids getting bone cancer right now. Like, ████ you." And all ████ I'm like, "So you're he's just saying like what he's grateful about, like how he likes what he's doing right now." And you're like, "You're equating it to like he's glad that these kids are dying or whatever." I'm like, "He's not the same." The stretch so exactly the same. Okay. I think he thinks like Jesus is too busy answering a football prayer
7:35 that it's blocking a cancer patient's request. Yeah, we all know Jesus was cutting the line to make sure he made his three-pointer at the end, right? Like, come on, brother. We all know that. I always prayed to not get my ass beat. Like I would get in trouble at school and I'd come home and I'd like Neil and I'd please don't get have my mom ████ whoop my ass and I never and never get his ass. I was too busy working on the kids in Africa. He was running out of time. Always got my ass whooped and I'm like, "Dude, that's so ████ up." What up, guys? Come join our Patreon because there's hundreds of videos dating all the way back to 2019. That's right. If you click on the link down below, you can join our Patreon, join us on the Discord, come chat with us directly, have a fun conversation, and this will help support the channel's growth and new ideas. And also tap into our closer community by joining our
8:25 Discord and get the opportunity to suggest video ideas like the ones you've seen. Thank you guys. Join our Patreon. Help us out. Thanks. See you guys there. Say hi to me. I feel like I always throw really really like quick prayers. I don't even They're like subconscious every time I pick up those two dice, baby. Oh, baby. Now we're talking. And sometimes God answers. Oh, dude. He answered the other night. The Pacers were down ████ nine. Pacers were down nine at the buzzer and oh man, we came back with a minute to go. That was great. You guys ever try to use AI to see the probabilities of teams and all that stuff? That might be interesting. Someone probably already thought of it, but I'm sure. Well, the guy was remember the sports guy I was telling you about, he he just sits there with like a spreadsheet on one of those websites and just looks at the numbers. It's all
9:15 numbies for him. He doesn't care about the team or anything. Damn. Yeah. I also pray that things like Woo and Coogi and Bitcoin go up. Let's go. Hey, that's a big one. You actually really about that? Yeah, but it's not like I think there's a difference between like bedside on your knees, eyes closed, hands together. Dear God, like there's there's there's that and then there's uh there's like the clicking and just being like the Oh, please please please one day, baby. It's like please, please. I'm buying this right now. I'm buying some more right now. Please, please, please. Hey, at least you're DCA. That's smart. People who don't I feel bad for. When I was like, I think nine, I had like a 4-w week like stomach flu. Oh ████ from like and I was convinced that it it was like in my mind the only thing I could think of that caused it was I I ate McDonald's cheeseburger and then drank a Hershey's
10:06 chocolate that'll do it thing. Hershey's talking milk together and I it gave me stomach flu and then like immediately I did that the day I got better and it happened again. I was like maybe that combination just ████ me up but it like wrecked my stomach for like You did it right away. Yeah, for like a whole year. I I was on the verge of barfing every day that year. And uh I had to I was like praying every day not to throw up to the point where I would um I was like, "God, if you if you don't let me throw up today, I'll I'll read the Bible." And then I like made a deal with God in my mind that like if I read one Bible verse a day, he won't let me throw up. And it worked. It worked. Yeah. Dude, it worked after a year of him being like, "Sorry, I got to help the Lakers win." it because I I it developed such a like a phobia for throwing up which I don't know if I I don't think I
10:56 still have it but I was so afraid of throwing up after that like 4 weeks that like as soon as I got a little bit nauseous I would just like hardcore pray and I'm like dude like don't let please throw up. I look so scared of it. Isn't it funny? Every single time we get sick we pray. Like if we're sh especially if you're ████ and you can't ████ like it's always something to be if you're ████ when you're about to ████ yourself you pray too you you dig deep into your soul you find God in yourself when you get that ache that it's coming like when there's like a bubble that's there hey look as long if I don't ████ my pants at this wedding that would be so lit God that would be so and it's like the craziest prayer to you you're like sitting in traffic you're just like if you make it so that I can get to a toilet in time I will devote my life to you and chastise myself word I for eternity. I will go on missions for you and I will convert all of Islam to your cause. I
11:48 will walk through deserts. I will convert on you. There you go. Start whipping yourself. He's answering so many ████ prayers. Yeah, dude. It's like the perfect time though. He's like, "Ah, I got you. I want you, b████." Well, God's also like, "Hey, uh, let's make sure his his spicy taco seasoning is a little rancid today." Yeah. God's juicing it a little bit to get his prayers. Yeah. They're total racket. Anthony needs a little reminder. That's what I wanted. I would pray to ████ cuz I didn't want to throw up. So, I was like, "Please let it come out of s███." I ████ so many times outside on the car now that I'm so ready to ████ at any time. What do you mean outside on the car? From the way from Bartow, I mean from Vegas to LA, I've had to ████ on the side of the road like three times. Really? Yeah. Desert ████ Desert ████ I feel like as a marine that's probably
12:38 not even desert. Now I have a routine. No, but there's other cars I can buy. But now I don't even have shame anymore. Yeah, but like you got to I think there's a problem still with that. You can't go. You couldn't make it to the gas station. I thought I had IV. No, sometimes there's no gas station. I'm ready to ████ it. There's no So you're just like you're driving, you don't need a ████ at all. Not even 1%. And then suddenly 100% you need a ████ Sometimes it's like that and there's no gas station for 30 miles, right? Or I can just go. So I'm just like, so before I used to go, oh ████ what do I do? And then now as soon as I get that feeling of I'm ready. Just let me know when to do it. If you had that feeling here, let's say you had that feeling right here in the office and those are packed with two people that are taking forever. What's your answer? Oh, dude. I was ████ I exited the 710 the other day. And I was ready to What's that street called? Ramona. No, no, the
13:28 one that goes up the hill at the bottom of that stop sign. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know. I know what you're talking about. I was ready to just ████ ████ on a Monterey Park sidewalk. Monterey Road. Monterey Pass. One of those. Do you have to take the 10 to get there? But before I would have the decency to go chevron like shell whatever, right? ████ Now I'm like if he just opens the door traffic and ████ Now if I feel it I'm like ████ it. Let's ████ go. So what's the setup? You pull over. You open the doors. What do you do? Like you sit on the ground. No. So I pull over and then I go to the side of the curb. Of course. You got your e lights on. I hope side of the curb and then the you know the sideep thing that you step on. Yeah. I ████ just hold it like this. I just ████ go bam like that. Whoa. Wait, what do you wipe with, dude? Oh, I have a ton of wipes. I have what are they called? Crocodile tears or crocodile wipes. Crocodile tears. What?
14:18 What? You know those things? Those uh ████ crocodile miles. Those hardware type wipes. Are you just chucking them on the side of the road? No. You liar. Liar. No, I was thinking no. I don't see his face. ████ liar. You just turn off the camera and give us the truth. I hate littering. I don't do that. Mark's like, "Hey, more work for the chain gang. I hope they come soon. My ████ stained crocodile tears. I picture Barb pulling over, swinging the door open, and then he just swings his ass out and it s████ and then wipes and closes the door and it keeps going. That's what I thought doing that. And the rest stop is like 500 ft away. That's That's pretty impressive. I do get grossed out though. I rather ████ in nature than a rest stop. Like public bathrooms, you're not I feel like that ████ got AIDS and bacteria. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you're ████ on someone else's ████ It's kind of weird.
15:09 And it smells like piss. Like I rather be in nature where I ████ on the ground. Even just breathing in those places. Smells like ████ So you want to ████ but you smell the air and now it makes you want to puke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's bad. It causes more problems. That's pretty cool that you develop that skill. I can ████ anytime. To ████ It's directly the opposite of like, you know, I could ████ whenever you want. I can't even use public restrooms to ████ sometimes. Damn, dude. Bart's like, "Hey, pull my finger." And he's like, "Not so fast. Be very careful. You better watch it. I'm ready to ████ at any time. Damn. Take it easy. Woo. This thing's hot. You don't even need bread. That's crazy that you ████ on the side of the road like three. You don't have to. You never have to do that. Yeah. No, I feel like I have to and I go I can't do that. That's not right. He does box breathing. Well, he can't he can't afford to be seen though cuz his reputation Well, cuz he's a sex. Well, cuz he's ████ This
15:59 is going somewhere so different. America's sweetheart can't be seen ████ on the road. blades you'd be ████ all over the room. When the last time you had sex? Two weeks ago. Oh, ████ I think that's where you got fallen soldier. I got the sex beat. See, when was the last time you had sex? Oh, Nikki Limo was bouncing in my lap like two nights ago, brother. I don't like when you say her full name and then you look at me like that. So funny to brag about, you know, she has trading cards now. What do you mean? She has poker trading cards. Really? Like she's on a trading card? You don't have a ████ trading card? Yeah. You think other people are bouncing that trading card on their lap? Hey, what the ████ did you just say, dude?
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