0:00 Do you think the women are going to start turning on each other? Immediately. Because they want to see who gets to ████ the gorilla. What? All right. Just Welcome back to the video sweatshop that is the Careful Boys, aka JK News, aka Sweatshop Boys. We are here that better, actually. I do, too. And I don't care if this costs extra. We have to hot topic this video. It needs to come out. Because we're talking about something very important. Everybody online you're at it. Everybody's debating for some reason can 100 dudes take on one gorilla? Yes. The debate got to a point where like real scientists and zoologists started chiming in. Yeah. And they determined there's absolutely no way 100 guys could kill a gorilla. So, what what what what So, what I heard I heard What sprouted
0:51 That removes hope from the equation. Yeah. What sprouted this whole thing? You got to get more creative now. What sprouted this whole So, it's just a random thing that came like people are like who would win? It is fascinating. Man or a gorilla? McGregor talk about it? I feel like it actually started a bit ago, like a while ago, and then it just picked up steam recently. And now it's suddenly like everyone even on sports news channels on like national television are debating whether or not 100 men And it's like average guys. You can't be like Navy SEALs. Stephen A. Smith on the How can you tell me one gorilla can't beat 100 men? Like like that, you know. How That's asinine. What is the argument against the humans? What do you what do you think? They're weak as ████ Scientists that are saying the humans would lose. Cuz well, a gorilla can crack your skull with like one hit at like half speed. I
1:42 I heard the I heard one zoologist say one human, not your 99 Gorillas get tired really quickly, so they gas out. And it's like it makes sense. Like look at how much muscle 40 humans and then gas out? They're not like fighting for long periods of time, right? And like for any human, like, that's their strategy to beat animals is just you gas them out. But then they were But then the thing is that how do you kill the gorilla? You just keep fainting. ████ choke it. Choke it? You make him flinch a bunch. Blunt force trauma to the head. You think you can even get your whole arm around the throat? But you got like all of us holding hands, you go around. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's That's the kind of creativity you need to have. You need like 10 to jump the ████ If you take the gorilla, cuz how do people die during Black Friday? You just got to put them on the ground at Target. So, you get the gorilla tired, take them to Target, tell
2:32 everyone TVs are half off, send 100 Chinese They're all dead. Stampede shopping carts. That's over, dude. You got to be willing to like sacrifice some humans as well. Bro, you got to lose like 20. If we go to Walmart and you're like, "Hey, guess what? The gorilla's hogging all the doorbusters." I I think I think we'll have a shot. Without a weapon? cut That guy cut. I saw I saw. I saw this zoologist I'll just say that it'll take 30 to 40. Wow. Cuz I I think it's unarmed 30 to 40 people must die for it to be defeated? It's unarmed guys without weapons, yeah. Cuz if you go through 99 people, the last person kills the gorilla, it's still the argument wins, though. He gets to write the book, though. He gets to write the book. It was me. I did it I did it all. Robert O'Neill got Robert O'Neill got to write the book about it cuz he was the guy. I would say
3:22 it'll take 100 of the generation that went to World War II, but it would take 1,000 Gen Z. Yes, cuz they're weak as ████ Think about how many people are going to be running around and complaining. More complaining than fighting. Yeah, yeah, a lot. The gorilla's just dying from being tired from killing. From smashing skulls. And then eventually everyone grabs a limb. Limb on limb. it water. It's just like that. He just He just lays down. He just goes home. And then there'll be the some electrolytes. Soy Joy Tubers were talking about like, "Oh, wow, got to do a bunch of men stuff." We're all trying to kill this ████ gorilla. You guys think a average a average size human being, like if the gorilla is dead tired, right? And he's laying on his back like, "Oh, I'm ████ tired." You think a average size human being standing on his chest, like jumping up and down and stomping, could break the rib cage and maybe the heart?
4:13 jumping up and down, like yeah, I think it could fracture the rib cage. On a 400 lb ████ gorilla? No. You don't think so? I don't think it's like jumping on an actual rock. I think it's still an animal. we got One, that's a weird question. What if we got Mo'Nique to do it? Yeah, see that. Let's start naming people that would That would crack a sternum, I think. I think it just Lizzo, maybe. Oh, Lizzo for sure. Yeah. Actually lost weight though. Lizzo's kind The question is how do you get her up there? Well, the question is, yeah, how do How do you jump? How do you get her up there? the the vertical? What's her vertical? That's what I'm saying. Well, you have 30 guys doing a launch. I need more than that. Change the hypothetical. What about 100 women? Easily used. They WNBA women? Yeah. They're just your average women? You would need like 10,000 women. Probably not. Yeah, you need And they would all turn on each other,
5:03 quickly. Yeah, I think they would start killing each didn't do anything. I think they would start killing I don't see you doing ████ What You're not helping me. I think one of the I think the women are going to start turning on each other. Immediately. Because they want to see who gets to ████ the gorilla. What? And then they're like, "That's off ████ limits. He's ████ mine. You can't the ungabunga. They want to I hadn't thought of They want to marry him. That's such a good point. about that. Dude, I think it's going to take so much time that eventually night will fall and no one can make a fire and they all just die. For the chicks? I agree. There'll be one chick But the gorilla makes a fire. Can he do it? Cuz you know those like What is it? Those survivor things where they split them up, women and men? Have you seen those shows? And then the men are just having a freaking blast. They're just like horsing around. The women are all crying. That's pretty sad. If she looks like a hippie, she'll probably do well out there though. Cuz the hippie chicks always do well on
5:53 those shows. Yeah. But then but then the driver ladies do well. They won't share. They won't share once they they do their work. That's true. They're They're very They're They're hoarding everything. They're hoarding resources. I think I think the easiest way to kill the gorilla, to be honest, is you just got to plug up the nose and then have someone cover the mouth. Yeah. I would just suck Like this? Yeah. But what if it has a big ass mouth though? I didn't think about that. I think you should just make the gorilla chase you around a tree in a circle just over and over again. Yeah, cuz he's an idiot. Or run into something. And then like pull one of the branches down on one of the laps and he just goes thong. I You have the branch held back and then you let it go and then it really gets And he catapults, he flies off. Easy. Did they say how long it takes until the gorilla gets tired? Cuz they go, "Oh, don't worry, he gets tired quick." And it's like, "What's quick though? Like 30 minutes?" The eight rounds? It goes 30 seconds. Really? That's it? 30 seconds?
6:45 I don't think gorillas do a lot of like cardio. Yeah, you got to go high output burst though. They start killing one human at a time. After 30 seconds, it's like Cuz the way they fight is like they charge and if you back up, then all right, I won. But if you start when they scrap a gorilla, it's like it's all But with that kind of muscle, they're sprinters. They're technically sprinters. So they can just go 30 seconds as hard as they can and then they're ████ just dead. So survive for 30 seconds. just chilling. Like they're just like eating tree like a gorilla run a marathon before? But what if he discovers on the first kill that he doesn't need to use that much energy to do it? Then we're ████ And then he just starts like using 10% energy to crush skulls like this. Or and and he looks at you in the eye while he does it, so he's also like killing your spirit. We've watched so many movies in this room. Jesus. That's Planet of the Apes. The gorillas' eyes, they're pretty scary. Yeah. They're Dude, you can see their soul. They're very cute. I seen a gorilla ████ in his hand and
7:35 eat the ████ Really? At the zoo? On on Instagram. Honestly, if you guys got good animal videos, just send them my way, please. You like those? I love them. doozies, dude. That's all I watch. You'll be like, "Hey, Steve sends me these one every 10 minutes like all night. All night. Steve, hey, can you stop sending me so many?" It's actually a lot. Are you using an algorithm bot? Indians and animals, that's all I watch. Indians and animals. Listen, I've watched What's the closest y'all have ever gotten to a gorilla? Have you guys pet one? You pet one? You don't pet a gorilla. I don't know. You go to like an animal sanctuary. I used to pet one by the grocery store. gorilla reserve, dude. What are you talking about? Yeah, they made a little barrier and you could pet the gorilla. They're totally safe to pet. They have that at Rainforest Cafe. Honestly, I've never even seen a little monkey before. I would love a little monkey. the little Thailand ones or China ones?
8:26 Yeah, dude. I would love a I had a a chimpanzee climb me. I don't know where it was. It was in Indonesia. Is that scary though? I feel like chimps are scary. The the chimps in Indonesia, they steal your stuff. They do. They steal He was trying to get go for my wallet. Same chimps that can like rip your face off. You You've seen that. ones, yeah. These were little ones. Remember those There was like a story about a lady who had a pet Yeah. a pet monkey. It ripped her friend's face completely off. That's what I'm saying. That's one lady versus one little monkey, dude. Talk about 100 men versus a gorilla. That's going to get And that monkey didn't even mean to do it. They rip your genitals off, too. They rip your balls and penis off. They go for face. No, not not sexual. Not sexual. My biology teacher in college, they did like experiments on monkeys and stuff and he had said He said he had a chimpanzee, maybe like a 3 4-ft tall one. Um he's super friendly, but when he came out of his cage, which was 2,000 lb, he
9:17 just picked the cage up and went like this and put it down. Jesus, dude. Yeah. So, he was like, "If this guy ever wasn't friendly, like the way he would mutilate my face if he grabbed it would be like incomprehensible." Yeah, that's what Cuz that kind of It's almost taking like a ████ crane and just like you know, like just You almost want it like that versus slow. Oh, yeah. Want to get your face ripped off quick. Are you crazy? That's like that Xavier's sister ████ Remember the bald one? Oh, yeah, from Deadpool? in that guy's face? She's grabbing that guy's face. Fingers were in her head. Man, that was gross. Oh, that's a Deadpool the the last one. That one. Wearing a pantsuit. Do we know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read the comic books. If they showed uh how heavy a of a punch
10:07 a gorilla could take. Like on those like like video game things that like Yeah. So, you start with Floyd Mayweather. You get only professional people. Then you start moving up, maybe like Mike Tyson, Francis Ngannou, and you just start seeing like what kind of you end with like maybe a horseback kick. They would probably each need their own gorilla. A horseback kick is pretty insane. Didn't they do that in like modern Marvels or some ████ Like remember that one show? They would show like the impact of a kick. They do like sport science. Yeah. And it was the dude who like I I don't know if it was the Brazilian like freaking capoeira kick that like comes up on it and he has like And then they'll be like a karate kick or a Muay Thai kick. And then they would like break it down in like 3D. That reminds me of the Have you seen that show where they're playing tug-of-war? They don't know what's on the other side. That's funny. It might be a gorilla. And then one of them was like a cow or something. Oh, ████
10:57 I forgot like what it was. So, they got smoked every time. Do you guys actually think a gorilla one gorilla could 100 people couldn't take one gorilla? I think 100 of the right people they would just get smoked. I could pick 100 people to get smoked. So, 100 of the wrong people. But I think I think we could probably like outsmart a gorilla. I think so. I think that's I think that's where it comes into play. It depends what 100 cuz if he breaks into a senior citizen center, 100 of those guys are probably going to die. All of them have walkers. Yeah, I think if 100 people who all have walkers and can get out of the we settled it on the senior citizens one. Today, I'm glad we We need to do 100 groups then. 100 seniors. We need to do 100 BLM members and they can't organize for ████ so they'll just have in-fighting and then have corruption. did it on an arena? Is it like in a closed circuit or is he just fighting you in public? Cuz in that case Like on garbage target.
11:47 Cuz if he's chasing you around, all you got to do is run to the freeway. I think close It's supposed to be a open space, like a prairie. So it's going to be like street fighter or is it going to be like a background? Start smashing a Toyota Corolla. You just have to go like this with your Like on a mesa. It's got to be flat ground. They can't use tools. Okay. Do you think a gorilla can pass the cinnamon challenge? No. Like two teaspoons of cinnamon? He wouldn't know the rules. Coming out the nose. So do you think like let's say there's 100 of you but you can only go out one at a time. You have 100 lives. Do you think you could eventually One on one? That's That's the story of 300. They fed a million Persians through that one them through the thing, yeah. No, no, no, no. Can't solo a gorilla. Nobody does that. Battle of Thermopylae right there. Did you guys see Did you guys see Eric Andre when he went into the gorilla cage?
12:37 No. Did the prank where he gets ████ by the gorilla? Like a real gorilla No, he had a like a It was like it was a setup. And all these people were like, "Oh my god!" Like they were freaking out. trying to take selfies in the gorilla cage and the gorilla came and started bucking So the only physical solutions to how you would attack it is Gas it out. Plug its breathing. No, that won't work. Choke it. After you gas it out, step one you have to gas the ████ out. Yeah, you got to just fight the first 10 humans. Everyone's got to jump. Three people on a limb and one person on the neck Like two people on the neck and they got to start going. That's why I think we have a shot. I don't think That's pretty good. And I think it's I think it's like a I think it's like a bull in like a bull pen where you know everybody's ████ playing toros and stuff. You just keep running around until it tires itself out. You're trying to avoid it. I don't think you just go in and start attacking right away. space is there for like how many people
13:29 do you think could be attacking it at once without someone just like waiting for their turn? You know what I mean? People are going to be waiting. 100 people can't have access to the gorilla. No, people are going to be waiting. It'll probably be like 10 or 20 attacking. I think you're going to lose 30 people from just seeing the first guys get smashed. Like when you see the first guy people are just going to be like yo they're going to be three people 30 at least 30 that are just standing on the sidelines. Yeah, that's the biggest part. I think when you talk about 100 men versus gorilla you're not saying 100 warriors that are all committed, you know? It's like the first like three or four humans that go down by getting their brains smashed 30 other people are like Yeah, but yeah. People are going to panic. But if they're like dude if this gorilla goes down he turns into a bunch of coins. That's true and that's a lot of coins for all of us. Everyone's going to be like okay. big ones too not those little tiny ones. I think it'll take about 25 zookeepers.
14:19 Zookeepers are better. Cuz they know how the gorilla moves. But zookeepers to me just remind me of rodeo clowns. Like they're just always like Like they're trying to get the They're trying not to kill the animal. Cuz like there's always like a kid who fell in the gorilla habitat thing and the zookeepers are just going like Hey come at me. Yeah. I also think you got to like attack the gorilla where it never thought of. So if you got five dudes on one arm and then one guy's just in charge of bending all of breaking all the fingers backwards. I think the gorilla once it starts feeling pain it's not going to be as aggressive. kind of like when pitbulls are attacking you got to like aim Yeah and then the gorilla. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And he'll be like oh ████ DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GUYS OH YEAH. Do you Do you know how many guys went to jail cuz they were like they were like oh no I I the pitbull was attacking I swear to god.
15:09 I SWEAR TO GOD. I HAD TO. HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME. DUDE THOSE VIDEOS ARE CRAZY when they're really They're going like they do it a lot before the dog stops. There's a lot of rhythm in there. The easier way is is just picking up the hind legs. Yeah yeah. Cuz it trips them out that they're that they're like this and they go, "Oh, s███." Like, oh, yeah. I feel like there's a million better There's got to be a million better methods. Hind legs is probably the best you can get. Pitbull's getting fingered up Yeah, you got to go, "Poop." And then they go, "Huh?" You should go to jail for that, honestly. Damn. Legit, dude. You should do a little bit of time. You see the gorillas go like I think without a plan, though, we're ████ You got to organize before you go in. There's a plan. And it depends on what 100 cuz a 100 elementary school kids That's just food.
15:59 What if we all kicked them in the nuts? Oh, ████ I don't know what his nuts look like. think 100 legs can get close enough four people kicking him in the nuts. But he has leather nuts. He's going to be on the ground after that. Or or you do the Rick Flair thing where you're like pretending you're on the ground and then as the gorilla comes up, YOU JUST GO, "BAH!" AND THEY GO AND THE GORILLA DOES THIS, FALLS TO THE KNEES. DO animals react the same way to being hit in the nuts as human beings? Yeah, or you do eye poke and they go, "Ah!" Did we just come up with a billion-dollar idea? Is that a billion-dollar idea? You can't do it from the front. You got to do it from the back. It's like animal nut shot videos. That's like human nut shot compilations. But nut shots would do well. getting hit in the nuts is a societal construct. No, but if you're if you're a monkey, if they want to kill you, they come for your nuts. So, But if you're a monk and you get kicked in the nuts, you're fine. pulling kick a parrot in the nuts. I want to Turn into a bunch of feathers.
16:50 I don't think they got nuts.
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