0:00 [Music] so there's a family that's suing apple over airpods because their son had him in his ear got an amber alert and it burst his eardrum oh jesus that's why you gotta turn those off like too loud it's too loud so the thing with uh air pods is they don't adjust the volume for alerts like uh amber alerts no they should fix that yeah they should fix do an apple and it has been a long running thing where they've received complaints that hey the sound level does not adjust right because amber alerts are designed to not adjust because you're supposed to hear it right but not that loud damn yeah that's like when you're at the ████ airport you just chill it and you know the ████ speaker never is adjusted to the volume that you're watching tv and ████ and then be like
0:51 watching this jason statham movie so loud that he's muffled it's ████ loud irrelevant information we're flying in this is your captain gilbert gottfried he's like why what the ████ what the ████ why is it so loud you know it goes if you've been traveling far like i would you like buy something you could go on the air boys i'm like why are you giving ████ advertisements right now are you trying to watch a quiet place yeah jeez that's uh so they're gonna sue over there just did dude i feel like they got a case i think so too especially because it's been a while that people were complaining and they they didn't fix it right because i get maybe that's a little hard thing to fix because amber alerts are supposed to be i feel like dude they can ████ program this thing to recognize my face you can figure out a way to turn the volume down yeah dude
1:41 i think they should program it they should program the amber alert to only go to people who are who could stand a chance to catch the guy yeah like this ████ kid's not gonna get up off his couch and go look for a dude amber alerts i just feel really guilty i'm like what the ████ what am i gonna do no i run to my window we got zach it's gonna drive through here any chevy astros no i do get them like if i get them i'm driving i go oh no i don't see that it's just like white white white pickup truck you're just like oh ████ wait this is the white pickup truck you call them call the place you're like i hate to i hate to be the bearer bed but i'm driving one sir please go away jeez how loud does that need to be to pop into it
2:31 it is so loud it's loud even without airpods yeah even that one uh accidental notification from the other day that said glendale glendale glendale people in the chevy chase canyon to evacuate that was loud what was that was that a drill they ████ up yeah it was a programming error it's kind of like the missile in hawaii remember tattooed the ████ missile that started under attack or something yeah you're like incoming missile alert do that that story kept on getting worse because like they were showing like the picture of the command center where that thing went out on and someone had wrote like the password on a ████ post-it note on the on the computer screen if you were like hey i don't know if you'd be showing that and then at that moment everybody
3:21 realized how an alert like that could have gone out because the guy running astrid is one two three idiots 54. yeah so they they will there's also a bunch of cases where some people have fallen asleep with airpods and then woke up to being deaf in one ear what though because of the uh amber alert yeah and and just different anything alert i would say sue them for all the money why don't they have it like at a decibel that won't destroy your ear ear drums because uh because the alerts are designed to override your decibel setting like doesn't matter like they're all just supposed to go out in a highest it's supposed to max out whoa that's dangerous so imagine if you're like a cholo with a banging sound system and your bluetooth connection all the windows blow out monte carlo parts everywhere
4:12 funny carlos dude oh no you're amp setting that's crazy it's unforgivable they gotta fix that ████ dude that's so ridiculous it sounds like something that you just put like two engineers that you could probably yeah it sounds like an easy cycle at least yeah it seems what about the eardrum technology is that kid ever going to be able to hear again from his right ear that's true it's done yeah that's why they're suing because they said the the quality of his life from now on is he just gonna be totally different i think you could definitely make an argument how much do you think he's gonna get i don't know it depends if he was on track to be a ████ jazz musician oh probably just like saying like oh he was supposed to do this quick uh pick up the guitar yeah quick does this every day airpods i think is one of apple's highest grossing products oh wow i got a
5:02 pair yeah they're cool they're great i like them dollars they're awesome you guys because you keep losing them so you have to buy more yeah they're too losable huh yeah no but they got that feature that tells me like annoyingly like when i've left them somewhere really my airpods or like their pods that i have will tell me if it's like if i like leave them at home or whatever and then it'll be like here it was last seen here so it's a little spooky also that's a good thing to mention when you when you can't find them you can play this super loud sound so you can locate where they are you guys got to show me this ████ that sound is crazy loud so if someone steals your air pods and they have it in their ear you can bust their ████ yeah yeah that's a good feature is it a new airbag feature can i just turn on self-destruct mode get rid of amber alerts turn on self-destruct gotta do this because maybe i'll just be like hey listen to this and then you put it on you go ████
5:53 you ████ yeah as a truce i would like you this new josh groban no no no no now that we're friends i just want you to hear this real quick airpods because i chronically lose things and i just never bought them so i have no idea what that experience is like the big ones yeah usually it's like the big bows what about when you work out i usually wear the even bigger bows get more weight yeah yeah is that why you're wearing your neck out at the same time get the neck pump going gotta max out your i can't wear those i can't wear it i just do air pods too i used to do the ████ string thing because i never lose them but then like it just gets caught when i'm running and ████ and i'm like ah ████ on the door handle and you
6:44 just ████ wait what are you doing you're doing what i hate is when you have a cord one and like let's say you go jogging and then all it takes is like your finger catching one and just whips out of your ████ ears yeah wireless is definitely the way to go the airpods are like is like the best apple invention in the past like five years nothing else has been better outside the amber alerts honestly amber alerts i don't think they even work i'm gonna be broke this might be a hot take i don't think anyone alright isn't it proven that they're like the success rates like disneyland i bet it's it's kind of meant more as a social comforting thing than it is like an actual effectiveness i thought it actually caught people dude you know is it kind of like security theater and tsa or tsa oh yeah it doesn't catch ████ yeah don't catch it i thought the milk carton worked probably better yeah i think so i think so too milk card techniques you don't even drink milk nope nope almond milk almond milk on the
7:34 olive oil you know what's funny is if you did compare the numbers of milk carton and then amber alert mel carbon probably has a higher rate because it's been around longer long time yeah yeah but a lot of people don't drink milk anymore so now we got to do it on soy milk hemp milk almond milk oh coconut milk oatmeal so only the vegan criminals are you gotta put it on the milk that matches your skin color so all the caucasian people on the white milk and then the asians on the soy milk so we own the banana milk who's going to get strawberry milk then native americans i don't know sunburn irish people that's cool do you think a vegan family whose vegan kid went missing would be offended that their kid was put on a real milk carton probably oh that's true they'd be pretty funny we have such a weird woke society
8:26 like these are actually tangibly like they're going to be questions that's not a crazy thing i asked right now that's a jk news can you please remove my vegan son from that nutsense i am not going to support the dairy agriculture yeah dude i think they could actually be pissed about pissed over nothing sounds like you don't like vegans something like you got beef with vegans but you're not full vegan that's like that's like the joke right you know if two vegans get in a fight is it beef no that's impossible [Music]
9:20 you
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