0:00 yeah dude dude I didn't even know you had one on your neck [Music] welcome back to uh amazing episode of Hot Seat today we have in the hot seat Mr Sub and Choi so uh in case you're not familiar with how these episodes go we're just gonna ask you some increasingly hot questions we're gonna start with a very cold question from Bart take it away if you had to stuff caterpillars into themselves how many do you think you can fit into one realistically five like a Russian doll like a Russian doll of caterpillar yeah but one has to fit like into the other one perfectly yeah that's a lot
0:52 perfectly two caterpillars fit another caterpillars female [Laughter] what gives you so much confidence you said five like that you didn't even think about it um well first of all they're squishy so you shove one in but make sure the one that's outside is in a nice little layer of hard layer tape them around open it up squish them tape them around that just sounds like tape them around open them up the one that's going in yeah shove five in there that just feels that just sounds like I'm playing with my foreskin the same idea same idea same idea it's like you're stuffing a four skip I have that so I know I have that so I know so
1:42 it's definitely possible what's it like uh having your foreskin still yeah you're a fan of it did you wish it was a five skin damn no I wish it was cut to be honest really even now even now not now but when you're growing up but when I was growing up everyone's like yo what the ████ is that I was like what the ████ that's how I felt I begged my parents to get surgery because I wanted to be normal like the other boys I did too but then I realized that it's probably not a good idea well Elementary like back in my days why is everyone looking at your dick though well because back in my days you know when you use the restroom it was a it was one of those tensions I tell everybody this we all pee together yes and then but no one remembers this I remember right now yeah you guys did it other people look at me like you didn't do this as a kid no yeah we all just trenches we all look well you guys playing baseball today but uh
2:33 basketball and I was like yo why does your look like that I don't know what the ████ Minds look like this yeah it's more like this you never had that where it's like everyone everyone's like oh I have to pee and like I had to pee too and then you have like five boys going into one stall ████ surround and peeing together someone can understand you you did that too yeah dude our brains were we weren't even thinking like it's okay yeah you guys are not out yeah yeah no we just haven't came out not even that what are you talking about we're just like everything together hell yeah let's go back to class you just wanted to do everything together yeah yeah it's just a homie ████ if we could ████ together and like talk and hold hands and like while we're all like if all
3:24 there was no doors right if boys could just sit next to each other and hold hands like this and found his limit I think we would have because pooping is you time though right well I didn't mind probably like staring at each other pooping when we're younger no like all in a group like this all like holding hands like this one two three and then squeeze together you don't think so pinch them off all right I would have done it yeah great so five caterpillars huh like we didn't pee together I thought every friends yeah this one did Mark did too I did too yeah you know none of my uh schools I remember vividly like me and all my friends for probably like maybe seven or eight watching Baywatch and then like
4:14 sitting in my living room and they're like oh I think my dick swollen what about yours oh I think my dick's swollen too this one like mine and we're like squeeze each other's Disney is that boners from watching like Baywatch and ████ and we're like oh ████ I'm like oh we should go pee because then we like let's go pee with swollen dicks and then we're all just missing out the back of the toilet not even into the water yeah because you did not control it yet yeah because you're trying to force force it and you're like oh ████ everyone's dicks pointing upwards yeah yeah he's just like what's happening when did you lose your virginity 13. oh ████ was that like what's the story and what was his name her name her so he he identified as a hero no it was a her name was Jeffrey she
5:06 no it was just uh I forgot uh I don't even know it was a smaller man you don't know her name anymore he's he's taking it easy right now I'm saying it was a check Filipino chick in Hawaii everybody we did it in her dad's uh bed wow dad's bed yeah her dad's bad oh we're doing it and I was like whoa this feels crazy I was like this is nice you know but I didn't know how to act oh bro oh brother this is called slippery but it was cool that was my first time yeah for the first time who taught you to how'd you know what you were doing it was natural oh if you think about it like you guys are just making out and then yeah yeah the first time I uh I figured out about coming was because my Grandpa would have been in
5:57 his room smoking cigarettes watching porn with a vibrator [Music] oh he wasn't doing it publicly you caught him yeah I caught him I thought he was like in the living room just like chilling no he was in his bed every day oh [Laughter] [Music]
6:54 I don't know anyone that smokes cigarettes and jacks off at the same time that is some gangster ████ what a legend when we had cable I forgot what channel it was like 999 or some old the last channel is always porn the last chance yeah but then for my lady it's just like you know when you rub kick on their butt you're like oh yeah is it time is this what my friends were talking about that's when I was like let me oh that's when I first found out are you more uh are you more Sacramento are you more Hawaii Hawaii baby all the way all the way how old were you when you moved uh from Hawaii 15. you went as your whole family just well my whole family was me and my uh my brother and my mom yeah we're stuck in this one room at
7:44 someone's house why why did you guys move to Saka Tomatoes uh I'm gonna be honest with you my mom one day woke us up from my Pastor's house this is when we got evicted we got Pastor's house and she's like packed your ████ and I was like what the ████ going on just pack your ████ we gotta go and I was like what so she just grabbed us didn't tell us where we were going she just drove us to the airport damn yeah and then we're in the plane I'm in shorts jacket as soon as we land Sacramento it's snowing I mean not snowing but it was hailing no just you and your brother me and my brother and my mom oh my auntie's picking us up and this is where we got to stay and I was like yo mom if we're staying in ████ Idaho or somewhere with cows and ████ I'm piercing my whole ears and I'm gauging it the whole time he's thinking about piercing his ears where's that I need permission yeah because
8:34 [Music] everyone is mine I just want to pierce my ears and ████ Hawaii the Filipinos were like gauge The Quest Crew hair middle piercings everyone had bands and stuff but so on the way to um our home in Sacramento I see cows and I'm like Mom I told you if this is where we stay I'm piercing my ears and you got him piercing I gauged it in Sacramento Sacramento that's crazy were you like finally I could be free I could be myself yeah but just to realize the whole in Sacramento looked whack yeah yeah Sacramento was just like because I used to you stand out yeah recognizable no one knows what the hell it only works during the summer because in the winter you can't be too Hawaii swag you can't that's why I was like whoa what is this
9:25 because it was a USC uh it was just like a college sweatshirt with short pants and vans that was a swag and I was like yo what is this this is lame everyone was dressed like that True Religions Converse and I was like dang I'm the minority in the school now wow well they didn't look at you and be like what's that that's so cool oh they say you're from Hawaii did you serve hot to hot and I was like holy cow that's kind of a bloody rooms are serious did you swim from do you drink coconut that's what kind of Asian are you and I was like what kind of what is this I was like Mom tattooing myself [Laughter] do anything did everyone started wearing diamond swag and I was like yo
10:15 what do I get these outfits yeah did you ever talk to your dad about why you bounced uh nope because I knew from my cousin but when he he called you no Facebook how are you how are you doing how are you was this big Facebook picture like this his Facebook business is a no user assistant oh yeah so he said are you taking care of Mom I said who the ████ is this oh ████ how are you so what what did you find out from your cousin oh so my cousin called me three years ago he said yo you know the reason your dad left was because he got chipped by a lawyer saying you're gonna get your citizenship so I need about ten thousand dollars and back then is a lot it's 2008
11:06 2007. yeah still out 2008 2007 that's when the whole Market crashed too you could have got citizenship for way less than that yeah but my dad hopped over Canada to Washington where the ████ did you do that Dad how did he end up in Hawaii he he flew Washington to Hawaii yeah but the lawyer said I could get you a citizenship for 10 G's but really because he knew his situation because he came over illegally you couldn't have gotten it but the lawyer was playing him wow so the lawyers took the money they took the money and said peace out that's the first time I ever seen my dad cry on the phone to the bank yo give me my money back you know look at my dad like you ████ why are you crying but I didn't know at that time yeah damn holy ████ so why did he go to Korea because he had nowhere
11:56 else to live where he couldn't face his family all his money was gone yeah from Hawaii so he had no choice and then the market crashed everything was ████ yeah business went down he had nothing left so he wanted to go to Korea to make money to come back to come back but never could never how come how come he didn't take the whole family with him I don't know man that's what I'm saying yo what the hell happened but I'm glad you didn't this life is better here it is weird though I feel like a lot of Asian dads the way they solve problems is by themselves yeah it's not like we're a unit so if I'm going through this together the whole unit moves it's like I gotta go solve this yeah and then I think if you create a bigger problem that thing I realized we had ████ ████ s█████ dance yeah no cause solid
12:46 Asian dads are they they know how to solve ████ with their families like we just had deadbeat dads yeah yeah he just dipped that they didn't know how to solve ████ in general yeah like that's why because I see other people's families and they don't ████ they're not as stupid as our dads no they're not I don't know but I did the same ████ ████ all right that's Asian you all should have been smarter but we're they're like The Losers of Asians like they're not they weren't the ████ actual mover like our dads are doctors and politicians and like top level people you know what I mean like they're like they didn't make it they had a ████ you know what I mean like they didn't yeah that's what happened yeah I don't know that's just my take on it because I'm like every all of us have the same story with stupid ass problem
13:36 solvers they don't know how to ████ solve ████ they're like they make up stupid reasons you know it's like yeah just running away less less weight on them how does your mom cope with like raising you and and uh by yourself just drinking just drinking no she knows she would have to go work like what do you call non-stop but she was always figuring out how like that's why we moved to Sacramento because my mom was like yo can you get us a job can uh to her best friend can you get us a job and then we'll start our life from there so we moved to California Sacramento and then my auntie gave her a job but my auntie's business got broken into so they had to file bankruptcy so my mom's like damn we gotta go somewhere else which her best friend was in L.A in La you could get job anywhere
14:26 so my mom's uh moved to LA but we didn't move to LA at that time so you guys stayed in Sacramento he stayed in Sacramento were you already older or yeah I was already 16 17 but so you stayed with like family friends I stay with my homie that I was dancing with their family which was Mexicans it was cool staying with the Mexican families I was like this was cool because the Mexican family had a dad only a dad not the mom they were switching spots all the time I was like this is cool at least they're in the same area switching spots oh like they're were they together or they're just like working and then no just baby daddy stuff oh okay okay but the Dow was cool because he was Ty raised with Mexicans whoa so the the time yeah what the ████ it was America bro what the ████ is going on my whole life was a trip so my my homies down which I call
15:17 him dad till this day oh that's dumb took me in but he was he only knew a bunch of Mexicans like ex nortaniels and all of that so he's a Thai guy that uh not married but had a kid with the Mexican lady so your buddy was half Thai half Mexican half Ty half Mexican and then you stayed with their family the mom at first and something crazy happened and then I moved in with the dad dad didn't want me at first because I teased him about his toilet [Laughter] ████ you need a you need to clean that ████ up you know I think about I'm like damn that's ████ up but was it really a s█████ toilet was it a broken toilet it was just a toilet flood all the time I was like was it dirty you gotta snake that thing dude I can't even take a ████ this is a problem and
16:07 he was like all right never insult a man's Choice whatever I need to tease somebody with and for them to be so mad to be angry toilet that's my toilet he was mad because he was insecure he's like God damn it yeah so my buddy came to me he's like yo my dad don't like you because you tease about it you tease his toilet toilets [Laughter] how's your relationship with their dad now cool I guess I don't really I mean I talk to him here and there but every once in six months is that something you're trying to repair no it's just it's just the way it is or well now that I heard the story I'm cool with him hey Dad hey what are you doing cutting hair that's what you're gonna do and then I just leave it unrest don't tell me what
16:59 to do oh yeah I'm Gonna Leave It unread but yeah that's funny I know like who's here to tell you yeah I mean at this point that's the crazy part I'm not really close to my dad anymore I even with my Grandma Grandpa died I didn't really there was no emotion yeah yeah it's what I'm saying you didn't save your grandpa's vibrator that's why I bought one wait your jack off Grandpa was his dad uh my mom's dad okay but that you're close to those grandparents traditional life I I I was I was so they passed away from butt cancer oh blood cancer you should have played with his booty more butt cancer that's what he calls that anal cancer you could get butt cancer damn that's crazy I didn't know that yeah I don't know ████ I didn't know ████ man wasn't dick
17:50 cancer though that's for sure just growing up trying to survive you know yeah because because really like jacking off great he's very I would say super Dependable just as a person yeah what traits do you want to have as a dad when you have a kid like what's most important to you when I have a kid yeah it's culture just respect you know stuff like that just I feel like if you just teach them respect and culture a kid can go far like the way you you make fun of your friends dad's toilet yeah that's why I'm teaching you cultures I'm gonna be nice don't say some dumb stuff like that but what's which culture are you gonna Center more on because you're with uh because his wife is Russian right Russian Jewish Russian juice yeah so
18:41 what's the household gonna be more of probably gonna be under her sick you're gonna be Jewish you're gonna get connected bro my kid is yeah because I thought that like the Jewish is connected through the mom so the mom has to be Jewish to be Jewish culture yeah but technically yeah technically I can't still you still can't I still I don't know what I gotta do but if I do they probably gotta chop off the oh top to foreskin yeah and I mean but um my kid is hey my kid's gonna be so I'm gonna try to send him to Jewish school and be like be friends with all of them oh yeah yeah you better get in the so I can do my stunts yeah no so I can just chill I'm on a yard I want a yard
19:31 and a dog my lady that's it that's tight that's your future you want to you watch your watch your lady Garden while the dog runs around the birds that's peaceful when the AR next to me buddy let's see nah oh yeah where do you want to also with the AR they're not going to jail that huh you can't have AR in Hawaii though right yeah you can you can have all you can have any guns you want ARX in Hawaii yeah it's just harder to get it's harder to get check in all the time with HPD oh yeah yeah who's got the hottest question Nick how did you meet your wife Instagram she hit me up first oh we're supposed to just be you know what'd she say what was her introduction can you teach me how to break dance and I was
20:21 like I sure can no no no it was supposed to be just this we're supposed to be just this but you know seven years in now and we're married it just happened she grew up here she grew up here uh Ukraine Israel here wow she's really cool she's she's a tattoo artist yeah yeah in Hollywood yeah did she do some work on you in my whole back can I see show your back ending with your back yeah dude dude I didn't even know you had one on your neck wow snake in a what tiger a snake around a tiger that's a Royal Rumble it's a snake tiger and uh what is it
21:12 Dragon it's back there tiger and what the ████ is that it's like a griffin thank you [Applause] foreign [Music]
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