0:00 I never did coke. I was too poor. Crack just feels like somebody came into your body and started massaging every single cell. You take one hit and then a little elf comes inside and starts massaging every single cell and then YOU GO, "AH, THANK YOU. THAT'S RELAXING." >> WELCOME back to a very zany episode of The Kev Boys where we are we're just feeling wacky today. >> What's so zany? What's so wacky? >> [laughter] >> Hey, >> [clears throat] >> you've had enough. You're cut off. >> What were we just talking about right before we started rolling? Where it's like he was talking about which drug or alcohol gets you most horny? >> [laughter] >> You said you you said you're horny all the time. >> No, I said is it the is it the drugs that make me horny or I'm just a horny person that drugs open it up. And then so but before that you wanted to talk
0:51 about if it was our last day on Earth. >> Which drugs make you horny? >> [laughter] >> What are you going with? What's your go-to? >> If it's your last day on Earth. >> What's your stack to get horny? >> what's your final drug of choice? Okay. >> Yeah. Last day on Earth. >> Do you have a drug that you are saving for your last day on Earth? >> Yeah, what was your what's your favorite that you always do? >> Now, see first of all, I don't it's not favorite, okay, always do. Maybe ecstasy. >> Um no. >> I can't do any of that stuff. I would say if it was a last day on Earth type thing. >> Oh, like by myself? I don't know. What's the What's the situation on Earth at this time? >> How bad is it? >> [laughter] >> It's World War III, baby. Civil War, America. >> Kim Jong-un just dropped a nuke on the US, dude. >> Yeah, and I'm taking drugs. Oh, man. If
1:41 it's like World War, I might have to go with something like like a love drug like ecstasy or shrooms. Cuz you know what? I My my first go-to answer goes to something that I've never taken before so I'm curious. Something like ayahuasca. But you know what? If you also know that the next day is the end of your life, what is that ayahuasca trip for? >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's weird. You did too late, dude. >> Like, I don't need self-discovery if I'm going to go like die tomorrow. I just need good time. >> That seems too deep. It seems too deep. I would Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. I just want to just be like, I feel great. >> I would just do heroin straight up. >> Yeah. >> Because I think it'd be hilarious to have never done drugs and go straight to heroin. >> true. Yeah. That or fentanyl. Like, I don't really know what it feels like. >> to do fentanyl? >> We're going to die anyway. >> You want to get blown up in a bent-over position, dude?
2:31 >> Yeah. Gay. >> That's That's a little That's kind of obvious. >> Gay. >> You know what the ████ I mean? >> That's gay, dude. Yeah. That's crazy. >> I feel like Clip it. Clip it. Clip it. Clip it. >> Yeah, that's funny. >> I feel like you would just do GLP-1. >> [laughter] >> I'll do Ozempic. I'm going to do Mounjaro finally. I want TRT finally. >> Yeah, which one would be like the one? >> I'd probably just go straight to crack, honestly. >> [laughter] >> It's not going to make your muscles bigger, dude. >> Oh, but it makes your muscles feel ████ massaged. >> I smoke crack like a ████ >> How long does um >> [laughter] >> And we got the clip, dude. >> What's What's the time? How long does one crack last? >> One crack? >> A hit only lasts like a couple minutes. >> Oh my god, we can't do that. Back to back though, dude. >> No, but you keep taking hits. >> Yeah. Crack to crack? >> It's the cheapest.
3:21 >> How long does heroin last? >> I never did it. >> I was too scared. >> How long does fentanyl last? >> I never did it. I was too scared. >> I know a fentanyl fold when I see one. >> It didn't exist when I was being a big drug boy. >> I'll say this. I I judge drugs on how much it could destroy your life, you know? >> Yeah. >> And when you look at crack and the way it destroys life, you're like, that must be really >> be very good. >> be so good. >> The harder the life is destroyed, you know it's worth it. >> fentanyl is the best, right? >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. >> No, but I think people don't do straight fentanyl. What they do is they do other drugs and they have fentanyl in it cuz it hits harder. I That's what I thought. >> Oh. Are you sure people don't do straight fentanyl? >> That's what I thought. >> Dude, who's doing bumps of fentanyl? That's crazy. >> No, like I think they're getting crack and ████ and then they're getting >> I think Rue is or Zendaya from Euphoria. >> But that she gets she is a pill popper
4:12 though. >> I'm so drug uneducated. >> How did you >> GHB. >> What's GHB? What's that? What's that? >> That's like it helps you party. >> Drug. Can I take that on myself? >> Yeah, it's the J >> Cuz I'm not >> Does it work >> You know people take you >> if I Does it still work if I don't get >> The J >> Drug. >> Well, some people will take a little bit of GHB so they get a little buzz. They kind of They compare it to drinking alcohol. >> Oh, that's it? I don't want that for the end of the world. >> But you drink too much of it, you ingest too much, then you're asleep. >> You forget what happened and your butt hole hurts. >> So Ryan wants to be asleep though. >> What about What about just like um what's the thing that Native Americans drink? >> Peyote. >> Wait, they drink it? >> No, they smoke it. >> never mind. It's probably a smoking thing. >> You're thinking about kava. No, don't you Don't you buy that at Costco? >> The tea?
5:02 >> No, I thought the No, I think Polynesians drink kava and then that's like you get a little high and ████ >> A little bit. >> No, we're not talking about getting a little high. We're talking about going like seeing frequencies and going to the other ████ spirit world. >> And you get like hundreds of years of wisdom in one, you know. >> Oh, you know what? I would probably do DMT. I would >> just do it. I would try that. >> Those letters sound good. >> But ayahuasca's the better version, I heard. >> But I don't want to I don't want to throw up and ████ I don't want to do that. [laughter] >> I'd probably do DMT. >> Cuz you know when you do ayahuasca, what they tell you to get the most out of it? >> What? >> You got to You got to Yeah, well, purge. >> like 7 days before. >> Oh, that's too much. >> You got to go Yeah, see that's what I'm saying. Just give me the DMT. >> Dude, I want DMT and then I want to do a DDT on myself. >> [laughter] >> With Jake "The Snake" Roberts, brother. >> But then if you think about ayahuasca DMT, you're right. It's like you're going to die anyway, and that's what
5:52 you're going to do 24/7 when you're dead. You're going to be in that world. So, it's kind of pointless. >> But then also also you have to be you have to be high on this thing when you go out. And the go out can't be asleep. You get to choose though how you go out, but it can't be like asleep. >> full acid then. But that's kind of like DMT as well. >> That's how you're going out? >> Yo, I don't Is it weird that I think it's ████ up that to be high on crack when you die? Like when a bomb drops, that'd be crazy. >> That's probably a really ████ up way to go out. >> If you know it's happening, I would rather do it. >> Like if you can see the bomb? >> Yeah, like if you know if it's like if they're going like 10, 9, 8 and you can't escape the bomb blast radius and you know it's over. ████ it. >> Well, they'd be counting in Chinese probably. >> I also think that like if there if we talk to God before when you go up to heaven or wherever,
6:42 >> [laughter] >> it's an embarrassing like you're doing crack before. Like that's kind of a tough combo to have. >> [laughter] >> You end up in front of God, he's slapping you. He's like, "Hey. Hey." He gets you with a Narcan. >> [laughter] >> Oh. Oh, ████ He's like, "You were doing crack before you died?" >> How come you're choosing crack over coke? >> Well, my reasoning was is just it seems like the best. I'm a value guy. >> Coke's too fancy. >> Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to do coke. >> Isn't crack just going to take you outside your mind? Or is it going to be like coke but just different? Is it like coke? >> I never did coke. I was too poor. >> Cuz coke is just going to heighten your understanding that the bomb is really coming. >> [laughter] >> Like why would I do that? >> Crack just feels like somebody came into
7:32 your body and started massaging every single cell. >> Yeah, so maybe crack over coke for for this instance then. >> Crack seems like the choice, man. >> Crack seems like the choice, dude. >> You take one hit and then a little elf comes inside and starts massaging every single cell and THEN YOU GO, >> [screaming] >> "THANK YOU, THAT'S RELAXING." >> YEAH, just ease the tension in my neck a little bit. >> was it that told you no, you never need to do this ever again? >> Keep smoking me, Joe. I'll be your best friend. >> crack has to be the choice because if crack is the the number one dis- like that's the what everyone loves when their life is absolute ████ That's got to be the best ████ >> If it destroys community and neighborhood >> Which one gives you a bad trip, though? >> to be the best one. >> Doesn't doesn't Don't some drugs give you bad trips? >> Every drug can give you a bad trip. >> I don't believe crack does. >> Yeah, I don't think crack does. >> Nah, dude. >> You don't think if you over crack,
8:22 you're going to have a bad trip? >> You're a bad trip when you're in the real world. >> Cuz like is it that >> Okay, but it's very easy for like shrooms to give people a bad trip. >> Well, you If you want to ego death before you go out. >> you're going out anyway. All I'm saying is I want to just like let it go and like accept it. >> I think your answer is >> crack, dude. >> You know something? You want to know a really funny [laughter] a really funny small story? All right, and because you know almost everybody in this story. But we were at a dance competition one time and you know, I don't I don't like to go out and do drugs or whatever. So I'm chilling in the motel and I'm just watching a movie and then you know, like at these things people always group up and then they raid different people's rooms and they're like, "Hey, what's going on?" So a bunch of these guys came into mine and they were all high. Like I think they had done ecstasy or some ████ And all You know every one of these guys cuz
9:12 you know, they bust in. Little did they know I was in the middle of watching Full METAL JACKET. >> [laughter] >> OH, NO. >> They all started freaking out cuz it's the part where the guy's like, "Hey!" And he's like he's legs are shot and he's like in the middle of the field. >> [laughter] >> And then THEY'RE ALL LIKE, "BAD TRIP, BAD TRIP, BAD TRIP." >> [laughter] >> THAT'S probably shrooms. I I that's shrooms or both. >> I might have been shrooms, yeah, but they all freaked out. Like, why are you watching this room? >> It was on TBN or some ████ I don't know. >> Also, it's Ryan. >> Yeah, yeah. [laughter] >> It's a good movie, though. >> That's kind of like a really >> Ah, ████ That's what I imagine it would be like end of the world, you know what I mean? Like, what what can you take while watching Full Metal Jacket? >> Yeah, I think you got to take things of like, yeah, I think I'm just down for crack. I think I need to be in full acceptance. >> Maybe I want to be sober cuz it's like
10:02 if my last day on Earth, I want to enjoy Earth. >> Come on. >> No, you don't. But then maybe crack would be good because you feel good, but you're still kind of sober. You're not like It's not It's not like a psychedelic. >> I'll probably start smoking cigarettes. >> [laughter] >> Just chew tobacco. >> If there's a moment on the line where I like remember this moment right here, this conversation. It's about to happen in the future, and then I remember this conversation, and then the first thing that comes to my mind is, "Damn it, we joked about Nick smoking crack, and then God was like, 'Why did you do that right before you died?'" >> But do you think >> [laughter] >> Do you think God sees crack as a sin? >> I feel like, look, I already have sin, so instead of sinning a new sin, how about I just stick to one of my old sins? Let me just do some ecstasy again, and feel and feel nothing but like, fear, sure, but also >> A new drug is a new sin? >> Also, love.
10:52 >> You doing a new sin before you die, before you see God, is ████ up. >> That's That's pretty funny. >> He's like, "You just started doing crack just now?" >> Yeah, ecstasy might be good because it's like, it's something that I've already done, and I know I like >> It's like a steak, right? >> But I'll snort it cuz it's got to hit real fast cuz we only got 30 seconds. >> Is snorting it way stronger? >> I've never snorted it. That's hardcore, dude. >> It hurts, but it's It It hits you right away. >> I've only stuck it up my ass. I've never done that. That's too hardcore. >> You sticking it up your ass is way more hardcore. >> That is That sounds way more hardcore than snorting it. >> [laughter] >> You have to stick it in your ass, so you have to pull your pants all the way down? >> No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. The hard The what I did the the was chew it. That would hit me harder. >> Oh, I heard well I heard allegedly snorting hits it fastest, but it burns the hardest.
11:42 >> Yeah, but I don't know. You know what I really like though? Ketamine. That was wonderful. >> Really? >> Never did coke. >> How long does that last? >> Oh, it could last a while, especially if you're in the K-hole. >> I hear people using ketamine all the time nowadays. >> And you get like vertigo and ████ Like you're just WALKING YOU'RE LIKE >> [screaming] >> AND THEN YOU GO OH ████ >> THAT'S THE K-hole though, isn't it? >> I don't think that's the one for the bomb coming down. [laughter] >> Joe, what's a K-hole? >> You just lose like balance and ████ but >> So that's the vertigo cuz the K-hole. >> Yeah, so you're like walking and then you're just like yeah man oh this so so good it's so nice and then all of a sudden you're like why am I going sideways when I'M ████ SITTING DOWN? NO. >> HOW ABOUT THIS? You know when you're you when you're rolling hard on ecstasy and you like fall or something and you like eat ████ but it doesn't hurt at all? It
12:33 doesn't hurt. >> I I think feelings-wise and then if we could peak because there's music and then the music BUILDS YOU UP >> [laughter] >> AND THEN THE THE ATOMIC BOMB. >> IT'S THE DROP. No no but we don't even hit the beat that's the drop. Yeah yeah yeah we don't the drop is the drop. I'm down. Yeah. That's the one. >> You're trying to have a pleasant death. I understand. >> Yeah yeah yeah. >> Yeah and and it's the old sin. >> Yeah it's the old sin. We've done it before. God God can't judge you. >> Yeah well he's judging. >> Well he's judging but he's like well you already did it. >> I'm just saying the new sin is new sin is a crazier judge. Like you just started why did you do peyote? >> You start well that sounds kind of native though. That's I feel like that's like safe. >> That's of the earth isn't it? I feel like of the earth is like you can't get too mad. Like no you put that there. >> Oh okay okay okay okay. >> Crack is of the earth sort of? >> Well no that's a lot more like you put
13:24 these things here and maybe we weren't supposed to do that. It's a product of human ingenuity. [laughter] >> It destroyed Rick James. You know what I mean? >> You helped us make this happen. >> Yeah, God made everything. >> Yeah. >> Actually, now that I think about it, I think God would be chill with me if I did crack before I died. He'd be cool with it. >> he'd be cool with it. >> He'd be cool with it. >> Yeah. >> I think God has other worries. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, he's like, "I was trying to stop the bomb." He's like, "I bombed you." >> I don't even want to do drugs no more. It's too crazy.
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