0:06 Have you ever had a friend that like I guess he's let's say he's like a single guy, right? >> [snorts] >> And he's talking about what he wants in a girl. Or he's had experiences dating and kind of decided it wasn't for him. Like he was like, "Ah, she was weird." Or she was um overbearing or like you know, he's complaining about like things that didn't go right. When is it polite or fair to tell somebody that their standards are too high without making it feel like you're telling them that they're not good enough? Or like they're too high for what he brings to the table? Well, that would be I guess like where my mind is at when I'm when I when I'm thinking of someone uh and their standards being too high, I am thinking of that. I am thinking of like oh, but for what you're bringing to the table. But that would like guaranteed hurt their feelings to tell them like, "Oh, you don't you don't bring enough." Cuz in their mind they
0:57 do. My my friend's brother is this exact thing. And like I haven't had a chance to have a sit-down with them. But um you know, he's in his 30s. And he's to me like the type of girls he wants is like your ████ gamer only fans dream girl. Like I'm talking about like those hot streamer girls and then like they're always in cosplay and like whatever. >> even exist in real life. >> [laughter] >> I want my girlfriend to be a cosplayer. When they date guys though, so this is my thing with people is like if that's your target are you the type that's on the radar? And then so for him >> to their only fans. Yeah. We talk all
1:48 the time. >> He's a simp, right? But he's not like Okay, if you think about the guys that they date, they usually date like Viet kind of guy or like you know Viet from ATI. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like goth boys, like they're fit goth bros or like like or they're also like cool mystery like weeby guys. They look like a K-pop >> Or a streamer or something. Yeah. Mystery weeby guys. [laughter] And I'm like, that's my gripe with like people that are like, that's who you want, but you're not doing anything to You have nothing in common. It's like you want an athletic girl, but you're a couch potato. If it does feel funny where it's like obviously if he wants that streamer girl, you're already picking from I guess a selection of women who are very image conscious. So you should be a guy that adds to that image.
2:39 Cuz then they they already think about that a lot, right? So I feel like it's it's it's interesting because I had a situation with a buddy of mine and he uh he wasn't the one that had high standards. This dude normally does, but in our age now, he's same age as me. Um he's been divorced before. And um so he was dating this new girl. And then uh the new girl felt a little bit uncomfortable with uh some of his baggage that he had. Namely uh at the time of meeting her, he still had family members of his ex-wife living in his house. Oh, dude, yeah, that's way too connected. >> Yeah, because at the time that they were married, uh she had relatives that uh he was helping out by letting them stay. Like And And this is the relatives is in like a like a a mom and her small son.
3:29 So like they had their own whatever and he's like, "Oh, it's okay, you can stay with me." But when their marriage didn't work out, he didn't feel right just kicking her out, you know? So he's like, "You know, the marriage didn't work out, we're still amiable. I want to still give you a place to stay for now." So that Who is the family member How is that family member A sibling and the son. Oh, so like Yeah. ex-wife's like Ex-wife's sister and kid, yeah. So, it was a little bit touchy, but you know, that's a its own situation. So, when he met this new girl, the new girl you know, that was looking at it like that's not the most ideal, but more so her family, the new girl's family was like, "That's not a good idea to get involved with him because he still has baggage." But then this dude, and I and I was the same way. I'm like, "Yeah, that's pretty rough." But then my buddy uh was talking to her and kind of broke it down in a way that made a
4:20 lot of sense to me, too. He was just like, "We're, you know, in our 40s. We're trying to date. We're trying to make stuff happen. We're pretty lucky that that's the only baggage that I >> It's true. Yeah, that's You know, like at that age when you're dating and and you know, there's a lot of people you can file through that have Everyone's going to have something at that age. You're going to have something. Like it's very hard to come across >> Don't got kids? He doesn't have any kids of his own. That's cool. >> have any of his own kids. So, he's like saying, you know, like, "I don't think you're in a bad spot necessarily. I think I still think I'm a pretty good catch considering the types of things you have to just deal with as an older person dating." So, then He's a pretty damn good person to like like do this charity
5:10 and not kick out the family after they break broke up. Yeah, I think it wasn't like He's not like uh He's not planning to let them stay forever, but it's one of the things where it wouldn't be fair to them that it's just a hard line, "Get out of my house." Yeah. >> Like I get the sentiment, right? Cuz like your wife's sister, if you guys got married, Yeah. she pretty much became your sister. >> Yeah. Right? So, there's it's like it's so it's like it's definitely connected, and I totally see where he's coming from. So, he's taking care of his sister and his nephew or whatever. Yeah. But then uh when I go into relationships, like if I put myself in the chick's point of view, Right. like if you're trying to build a a relationship, if you can and if you're not too far in like if you're already in love and then you find out stuff, ████ it, you know? Yeah. But if you're starting from scratch, I always feel like it's easier
6:01 to start from a blank canvas if you can. If you can, yeah. Yeah, cuz there are like millions of fish in the sea, too, you know? Yeah, I think that's what he was trying to illustrate is that like it's the reality of dating at the in late-stage dating is uh kind of picking and choosing which baggage is workable. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz there's no way that any it's very rare that you're going to get to that age and not have some You're buying a used car. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> It'll be ████ up or There could be kids in the car. >> [laughter] >> Really true. >> [snorts] >> Yeah, so I thought that was interesting because uh you know, when it comes to standards, it's almost like you have to grade by the curve a little bit. Depending on where you are, right? Yeah, so like is she in her 40s? They're they're around similar age, yeah. I do think yeah, like it's more realistic if you're starting a date at
6:53 that age that there's going to be a lot of divorcees. Exactly. >> Most of the people that are single at that age are probably divorced or if they never got into a marriage, like then there were there were complications. Yeah. You know? I mean you got a whole life story behind you if you're 40 and something and trying to date, like that's a lot. I think like you know when you're younger and you're dating, there's only so much you can find out about somebody. Yeah. >> But after 30 more years, like damn. I think there's like I think there's like two ways I could look at it where like you try to do go with the blank canvas, right? So I was like, "Okay, if I go with a blank canvas, if I'm like ████ 40 something, Yeah. ████ it, I'll go I'll try to look for someone that's maybe like 27 or 30 or 33 or whatever, like a little bit younger where maybe I'm not a blank canvas, but they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:43 >> But then also at the same time, I also feel like if I've been divorced and I meet someone that also been divorced, maybe we'll both cherish this marriage 10 times more and not deal with ████ Cuz you know with blank canvases, there are blank canvas ████ too. Cuz they don't Cuz no one know No one knows how good they had it, either. >> real. Exactly. That's true. >> Cuz you Sometimes you do see two divorcees, they come together and it's the perfect thing now. Their perspective. >> like, "I ████ up." And then they're like, "Yeah, I ████ up." And then we're not going to ████ up ever again. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The experience. >> Yeah. Yeah, I found it pretty uh interesting cuz this dude, this homie of mine, I've known him for over 35 years. And uh Wow. And I've watched him go from like He used to be a very high standards guy. Like he'll just So he dropped his standards each decade? Well, I think he I think his standards adjusted because he saw himself. But I think like it's one of those things where like when we were younger, this fool would look at
8:34 hot ass models and be like, "Eh, her forehead's too big." "Eh, her teeth are weird." Like, you know, like that kind of guy. [gasps] And then like over time, I think like once he started to learn, you know, um Teeth don't matter that much. >> [laughter] >> Or kind of like I guess like it depends on what that's weighed against. Yeah. You know what I mean? If you just like a person and they give you that warm feeling and and you secure with them and you're fine, I mean, maybe that stuff really doesn't come into play. >> stealing your ████ >> Yeah, it's not like it makes their teeth look better. It just, you know, it just kind of doesn't matter as much. >> Yeah. In the way that he's having to sell himself now as like, "Hey, I got these things that are weird and they're not ideal, but you know, look, weigh them for yourself, total this out, and if it's worth doing, then it can work."
9:24 kind of a deal. Yeah. standard I think values change with age. So like what you value in a partner when you're in high school, there's nothing in on the stakes, so you just want someone you find really attractive. Yeah. And then like you're not getting married. Like you're not really at high school you're not thinking about that. >> Right. Then like as time progresses you you start going I can't I kind of want the mother of my kid to be smart. Or like you kind of want Not kind of. Yeah. Or like you you start thinking of other things where you're like maybe she doesn't have to be super hot but damn dude I I hope she's smart enough to be able to like work through issues and I don't have to deal with like a ████ ████ you know? Yeah. Or like someone who's may maybe like mean. Like some
10:15 people could be really mean mean-spirited and they never like learn. Yeah. You're just like yeah she's hot but god damn she's a psychopath, you know? >> [laughter] >> Some people will deal with it but I'm like at one point you're not going to see her hot anymore cuz you're just like so ████ frustrated with how crazy she is. Yeah, that's true. >> you're like I just want a ████ that doesn't get seasick on cruise. >> [laughter] >> The simple things in life. I just want to go on a ████ cruise and chill, dude. >> [laughter] >> And I think by the time you're at that age if you meet someone you mesh with at all, I that's extremely lucky. I think that that's great for you. Why would you let it go because she had like a weird nose or something, [laughter] you know? It's like you got to meet someone you vibe with. change when you're thinking about long-term and like who's going to be the mother of your child. Yeah, yeah,
11:05 yeah. Cuz like if you're still caught up on like wanting a stripper for a girlfriend >> [laughter] >> you know, you're just like you want her to look like a porn star. Yeah. You know, and then it's like yeah that might be chill and all but then after a while it's just like yeah but you only chose her for looks. That's it. You didn't choose her for anything else but someone that makes you hard. You know what's different, too, is is when you're younger you just take you know, you tend to have more people in your life when you're younger, right? Fair to say? And I think like you think about other people's reactions on who you end up with like an earlier age. You're like, I want people to be like, "Damn, dope, bro. Like you You know, you got a good one." big ass crush on this tomboy. And just because um I thought my friends were going to clown on me. This is like maybe 6th grade, 7th grade. I didn't like make any
11:56 moves even though I found out she had a crush on me, too. Wasn't that your friend's sister or something? My friend's cousin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you care about stupid ████ you know? Yeah, you care about it. But I think as life goes, you know, you know less and less people as you get older and that's also less reason to care. >> I could have been with that butch ass ████ >> [laughter] >> Could have been a Filipino freaking tomboy. That's heaven. >> [laughter] >> That's heaven. Filipino tomboy. Best of both worlds. >> That sounds crazy. Filipino tomboy.
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