0:00 [Music] so it turns out and i think jk news has a little bit of egg on our faces no way for once it turns out that the scientists at the at the cern hadron collider are in fact not communicating with demonic entities and opening a portal to hell you don't say who are they talking to them i don't know but it's apparently not that so who yeah who was it so in april scientists at the european organization for nuclear research or cern uh restarted their particle accelerator the world's largest and most powerful accelerator after after a three year hiatus the accelerator the large hadron collider has undergone repairs and
0:50 upgrades you know you guys know it's like a it's like ████ gigantic ████ huge built underneath all this sub terrain the particle accelerator yes thank you nice that was really good um the they plan to use it to crash protons together sort of like what what the dancer's doing here geek ████ and learn more about the origins of the universe like through studying what's happening try to do minion big bangs right yeah study the reaction um however that's sort of irrelevant because social media users are suggesting that the machine has a different purpose um to talk to the devil like ████ mass destruction the commenters have have some theories there was a facebook post shared july 5th these scientists are beefing with everybody which is a facebook post sharing a tick tock video of a woman who claims that certain scientists are using the machine to open
1:41 a doorway for demons we need to interview her she sounds more credible no are you guys laughing she should be a guest on the show we need someone that's going to tell us the truth because we're truth seekers here yeah we're trying to we have metal detectors on the beach of the truth and we're just looking for beats and when she posted a video that ████ went big time you know big time for us she says if you all don't know about cern it's a demonic evil machine that opens up portals to other dimensions y'all hell that's not even an acronym other spiritual worlds it brings demons wicked spirits high evil that's what it says in the post so what what's the acronym is it s-e-r-n c-e-r-t c-e-r-n anything that's legit as an acronym okay so in her head what does it
2:32 stand for like like like c is for christian oh well she said demon she said her own but she didn't even make an acting amount of those words she's like cosmic endoplasmic ████ radioactive ████ neurological or whatever but it's all sounds like science evil to her oh evil science yeah yeah yeah so but there's a lot of posts about this like there's a lot of speculation about this there's a lot of talk about how the cern collider is going to end the universe as we know it but they're like this is how they're going to ████ blow it up right by experimenting with stuff they probably like read like uh angels and demons anybody read that i didn't read it i uh read the movie i didn't even know how they matter of particles and stuff like that anti-mata anti-matter that have like the
3:22 ability to like ████ pretty much like bombs right it's like you put that in somewhere you can ████ blow ████ up or like re like if it goes into the earth's core like eat the ████ earth inside out into like a black hole and ████ like that is that pretty much what she's saying in terms of this gateway to hell not to speak for her but yes i like how she's like smoking a cigarette in her ████ car in the walmart parking lot and scrolling through and then she sees this cern ████ and she's like holy ████ do they know what they're doing and they're just taking her files out of her like peach folder and stuff from like elementary school yeah she checks her cigarette lighter and then she looks and she opens her little mini fridge in the car and she sees that her jello shots aren't ready yet and she closes it and then she's back to the post back to the post i like that she knows more than these ████ scientists you know she doesn't know we don't know her credibility i
4:13 like that she only knows about it after the thing's been built not the ████ decades it was being planned yeah i just can't believe how sick this machine is the fact that we can do this and the fact that it it uses a strong magnetic field to accelerate charged particles or proton at very high energies in a circular circular tunnel and when two beams of these particles collide detectors which are located around the beams record the outcome of those collisions and that's what they're studying right it's the nascar of science it is indeed but the but the accidents are even more important the craziest part about science to me is that us as a species we've been able to like find the laws that determine this world yeah and then we use those laws to our benefit like porn yeah it's crazy how exactly is it like we use the internet to have unlimited free supply
5:05 of porn just to like maybe go off what he's talking about can you give us an example so one of them like even in a form of just art like music right like we've determined like from like like del rey mifas or whatever we know each frequency is however many thousands of the other one so we can predict the next note the next note the next note we know these two notes with these other two notes are gonna be in harmony this one will be like off key and so like we can use that to predict things or we could even use like okay this is the buoyancy of water we put this thing this thing floats we can take something that weighs tons but if we fold it a certain way this can become a ship so we've taken like the laws of this world and we've been able to like ████ have jello shot mini fridges in our ████ rooms way to incorporate put a ████ thing in the wall unit and
5:56 it's like a hundred degrees not anymore ████ ████ 69 or whatever you can like 69. cold air it's just crazy as a human species but you know where scientists still fail they still can't figure out what women want to eat that's true they don't know they don't know no matter what man they don't they'll say anything and then is it really anything ever answer that scientist [Laughter] that's what i think is so funny about people who contribute nothing to the invention of anything and they just go go ahead world invent whatever you want i'll sit back and tell you if it's evil or not yeah yeah yeah yeah why i won't make anything do you think osama bin laden's wife knew what she wants to eat or even her tell me what do you want to eat for
6:46 lunch i really don't know the pressure is hard for me to make it he goes okay we'll get kebabs she goes can we get something else i'm okay with anything hello he's like okay we get kebabs you order whatever you want from that and then she's like looking through the phone she's like [Laughter] okay so you don't want to order kebabs okay what do you want you know ████ the best you're killing me we have kebabs last two steps you're terrorizing me [Laughter]
7:38 again the best part about this is that pre-nikki i i'm so glad i had pre-nikki to know all this because nikki's just like i don't know whatever i just want to talk about so it's like it's always taco bell that's always talk about it that's helpful though when someone knows what they want yeah even if it's every day it's like okay i know what they want yeah she knows exactly what she wants yeah last night she's like she's like give me ████ shrimp scampi she's like give me ████ i want chocolate shrimp scampi you know chocolate shrimp scallions chocolate and chopsticks i was like that's next level oh so i just go down there i'm like yo give me give me a job give me some chocolate chip i was like what store is this it's crazy but because i'm just so glad i have other frames of references because i remember all those you laugh about it yeah ████ yeah it's not a nightmare because it doesn't happen not anymore that's why i can't wait till after geo
8:29 because she's still in this face [Laughter] your post geo renaissance is gonna be crazy crazy 20 23ag you get to eat whatever you want yeah because she's still a g is very good what's what happens first after geo or jk news is dead what's the over under here maybe both probably both it's around the same year i think geogra last longer yeah i just like that we went from like large hadron collider all the way to osama bin laden's why did you think about it so ████ good i get it can we get like tacos or something we are in a cave in the middle of pakistan well he was actually at a very nice facility later oh that's true the the two-story house yeah you probably he went into the cave
9:19 because tired of her ass complaining all day sure i will go into man cave with friends he went to a real man cave that's the only reason he did any of that is just to get away from her finally i can eat the kebabs in peace i know a way we can be in the cave no robot the plan sounds a little complex i know how to get away from my wife if i only beheld people she doesn't like blood so i'm going to be happy you want to be here he sounds like noho never really did any of that can i just say too better uh acting than history channel reenactment there's no question we should actually
10:10 [Laughter] 30 for 30. 30 for 30. osama bin laden but we re-enact it and we ride it hey that's not bad i don't know why it's a sport we got to make it a sports starter that just shows how much he loves sports he doesn't even know what 3430 is no it's it's for osama bin laden though because he's an accomplishment we'll make it like a sports story like the last day yeah dude osama's last dance that's fire bro dude i'm i'm in alzheimer here he's like he's like he's scottie biffen's like i knew he's like we all knew he's like he's like so they so we get a call he's like and then they say yeah you're out after this and i was like and that's when we all looked at each other and we knew this was the last day the guy who produces 30 30 he's my neighbor and he said he never turns down
11:01 a pitch really yeah so if you want osama bin laden i think we're going to be his first i don't know if i want to hear that that'd be amazing real talk though imagine getting george bush junior yeah w you lost me already because they're friends the bin laden family and the bush family they go way ████ back so i'll like i want the bush to talk about his old buddy you're scaring the normans they haven't read house of bush houses sod okay never mind maybe we'll just stick to the 30-day beyonce version i like that that was kind of fun
11:56 you
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