0:00 Are we only doing the whitewashed version of the Asian stuff? Cuz I ████ love Adele Taco. >> Okay. Uh, >> what does that have to do with the whitewash Asian brew? [laughter] >> I just had to put that out there. >> Yo, are you >> Let me just Asian Asian. If you feel like we've run out of Asian stuff, [laughter] >> we could talk about tacos. >> Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. We have Melissa Bonos with us today. [laughter] >> Why you laughing? Why you laughing? who definitely doesn't have a crush on nobody. We are [laughter] cuz she married Mary. All right. Off limits. >> Off limits. >> Because uh because some of you guys are such food experts uh in terms of like international cuisine. What versions or uh of whitewash uh Asian food is actually good? ████
0:50 >> orange chicken Mongolian beef panda express ████ man. [laughter] >> What was that even? >> I think he means mall restaurant chains. Oh yeah. Yeah. >> So the Mongolian like walks that >> Oh yeah. Great con. >> Drake. >> Is that why you mean? >> Nah. >> No. [laughter] No one knows what he means. >> Panda Express. Panda. >> Oh wait, wait. Let's start there. Is Greycon's at all really Asian in any way? >> Have you seen a single Asian cooking? >> No. >> They're usually Mexican dudes. But that's the case for all of them, too, though. In California, >> Mexicans make the best. Mongolia has zero connectivity with that at all. They might not even know they exist. >> They don't do that thing with the stone. I feel like they eat camel. I feel like they eat like >> No, no, they eat horse. >> Everything is horse. I watched this documentary where they lived in a ████ year. >> Yeah, they literally drink horse milk,
1:42 but they also get drunk on horse milk alcohol. >> They have no air conditioning, no electricity. >> Only horses. >> No, they lit. That's all they do. >> No skyscrapers. No skyscrapers. >> They even make food with horse poop as fire. They dry up horse poop and then they have these mud pies. The walls are made of horse poop. >> Yeah, I think they are too. >> No, no, no. That's currently how they do it or historically. >> That's their tradition. >> But that's like in the like in the >> throwback Thursday. >> Yeah. Yeah. Throwback Thursday. >> Okay, got it. All right. And then you were saying the Mongolian beef at Pan Express. >> No, I got it mixed up. You know when you go to like a Chinese restaurant and like I miss those Chinese restaurants that were made for the guillos, you know, like you go and then you you sit down and then they give you those crispy things that you put in the wantton chips >> sauce >> and then um and then you get the crab
2:32 rangon kind of ████ and then like um you just get your kungpow chicken and your orange chicken and you get the Mongolian beef. It's like it's the same chewy Chinese meat that you always get, but instead of uh broccoli beef, you get like uh green onions. That's what Mongolian beef is. That s███'s fire. >> What do you whitewashed Asian food? What is >> like for instance, like I I really like Australian sushi. >> Oh, I see. I see. >> What's Australian? >> It's completely not has no right to be called sushi, but it's so good. >> What is it? It's the It's like uh It's these circular hand rolls that they just have like at Surf Shacks all over Australia and they just put like teriyak chicken in it. >> What the hell? >> They'll just put like cooked rib ribeye beef. Like they'll just put all kinds of >> It sounds like just different versions
3:23 of musubis. >> Exactly. Yeah. But they're just they're packed in like a like a tube. It looks like a tube. >> It's not seaweed either. >> It's seaweed. Yeah. It's like seaweed on the outside. Rice. >> So is it like a kimop without the chopped up? It's just the roll kind. >> Yeah. Sort of. Yeah, but it's basically it's called Australian sushi cuz it was a quick walk away thing for like surfers to get in a in Australia they it's everywhere. >> That's cool. >> Go to like a really nice hotel. Guaranteed the lobby is full of like there's like a rack of them. >> Wow. >> Yeah. But it's so it's so convenient and so good. >> I think for Asian foods anytime there's cream cheese in it, you could always assume that it's like the white Philadelphia Philly roll. Yeah, there you go. That's a good example. Philly roll. So Philly roll is not actually traditionally Asian in any way. It's like a whitewash version of >> Yeah, it's literally called Philadelphia. >> Are we only doing the a whitewashed version of the Asian stuff?
4:13 >> Cuz I ████ love Adele Taco. >> Okay. Uh >> what does that have to do with the whitewash Asian [laughter] brew? >> I just had to put that out there. >> Joe, are you >> Let me just Asian. Let me just bring it back. >> If you feel like we've run out of Asian stuff, [laughter] we could talk about tacos. >> I really like non-stick pans. Non-stick pans are pretty sick. >> I don't really like nonstick, [laughter] actually. So, you guys know how Korean barbecue is. Uh, it's not so much whitewashed, but there's a very clearly a difference in America and South Korea. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Because mainly in South Korea, it's harder for them to access beef. >> So, most Korean barbecues there, >> pork. Their pork's fire though. >> Super bomb. But I really love beef. And America is all about beef. >> So, does Korea import most of their beef? >> Uh, they have both. I think they import some and then they have they they do
5:04 have some cow stock and stuff but it's just like in terms of what America like we grow cows everywhere here. >> That's true. Kind of >> grow cows. >> We do grow cows. Yeah. Out of the ground. >> Call harvesting when you get them. >> Joe, you are something else. [laughter] >> So you're saying that the Korean barbecue is not really Korean. It's more like Korean-American barbecue because the beef is more here. Well, yeah. When I was in Korea and I asked a bunch of Korean people there like what? Like I want to go get Korean barbecue. They're like just go to LA. >> Oh, >> even the idea of what you want it. They don't have that exact thing. Yeah. Their beef wasn't that good. >> Yeah. You're going to be like, "Oh, this isn't as good." And like >> their pork belly was fire. >> Okay. So good. >> That's their staple, huh? >> But yeah, Korean barbecue as a thing like that is >> Their seafood's insane, though. >> Yeah.
5:54 >> Their access to seafood is pretty crazy. Yeah. >> Hey, what's a version of like a whitewashed Japanese food? >> The Philadelphia. >> I know. Besides the things we named. >> Okay. >> Aside from the two things that we've already named, >> teriyak uh chips. [laughter] >> What I like >> what I like are the the Japanese washed white food like you know the Japanese Italian food. That's bomb. >> Japanese Italian. >> But we're talking about the American one. >> Okay. Del Taco. [laughter] >> Even like like Patu, right? That's technically like a schnitle or a ████ cutlet of some sort or curry. Japanese curry. >> Dude, did you know the Japanese curry is actually British curry? >> That's what I found out. >> Not Indian. >> See, but that's Japanese wash white food and that stuff's pretty bomb. >> The British learned it from the Indians and then they brought it to Japan. >> That's why the curry is more like gravy.
6:44 >> It's funny because like I Jollibee is like actual Filipino food in a way, but >> it they did a lot to it so that everyone would like it. Like what? >> It feels whitewashed, but it's not. But it's not. >> What's whitewash? What part? Which things are whitewashed? >> I think like when something is like when some when when you want to massproduce something for like the world, like you have to make changes, I guess. I don't know what those are, but it's not like it doesn't taste distinctly Filipino to me. Like it just tastes like really good chicken. And I'm like, dude, they cracked the code. You know what I mean? Like they took their recipe and they made it like global, which is like pretty freaking sick. You know what's a very whitewashed version or American version of Asian foods all around? There's all you can eat. >> Oh, >> really? What is that? >> You don't really go to all you can eat in Asia >> cuz they've been in famine usually, huh?
7:34 >> As Americans, we like to just [laughter] >> Yeah, dude. We were trying to get the most bang for your buck. >> Go to one all you can eat sushi spot in Japan. No, it's like no, you order what you order. You talk to the chef or he just he gives you your own macasi or whatever. To to have like a here's your whole menu and just keep ordering. We need to put you on a time limit because you're going to run us dry. >> The concept of buffet is that American for >> all you can eat. >> I think the the cultural eating of like excess I think is American. That's what >> for some reason all breakfasts can be buffets in all of Asia. >> That's true. >> But breakfast is a buffet thing. >> Yeah. >> They always have breakfast hotels. >> Did you ever find a place in China that was all you can eat? Like um >> just breakfast buffets usually >> only breakfast. She never saw like a freaking rib joint. >> That's reasonable though. I think >> I'm sure they have it but >> or a hot pot, right? >> But I totally assume
8:24 >> that's all you can eat. >> No, cuz even if you go to Heidi, even if you go to Heidily, then you're using the iPad, every order is an allocar order. >> Dang, Heidi's mom though. >> They're also all you can eats I feel like are really common in the areas that we're at, but in other parts of our country, it's not common. >> Oh, >> it's not common. >> That's how you know when you made it. [laughter] Oh, I know what's >> I know what's Japanese American >> hometown the buffet. [laughter] >> I know what's you know like Italian American. They've got their own ████ so much where it's more like oh that's just American now. >> Yeah. >> I think it's a lot of Hawaiian food but we just think of it as Hawaiian lunch plate >> cuz like a lot of that ████ is just Japanese food but like in excess >> cuz like it's like you got ████ beef teriyaki >> chicken katu. >> Yeah. And all that ████ >> with macaroni salad. Yeah, [laughter]
9:14 >> that's true. It literally sounds Japanese. >> A lot of stuff goes like like if it was invented in Hawaii, a lot of stuff goes back to Japan and then they make it so it just feels like it's Japanese. Do you Do you like the Yoshinoya in America? >> Not really. >> Not as good. >> I I would I like the idea of it. I think it tastes >> It's still bomb. We're We're We're eating the whitewash version of the >> Yeah, >> it's bomb in Japan. Oh, dude. It can't be beat in Japan. >> I keep getting diarrhea every time I eat You ever make it at home? >> You get diarrhea a lot. >> It's really easy to make at home. >> Do you like getting it sometimes? >> The guan. It's really easy. That's what it's called. >> So good. >> The official name. >> Just do it at home. >> Do it at home. >> Yeah, it's easy, dude. >> Man, you're freaking chef. >> Walk us through it. >> You get the sliced shaboo meat from HMart. >> Onions. >> Throw it in there. You do your your soy sauce, sugar, whatever. >> Marin Myin. >> You cook it down. It's sliced onions. It's easy, bro.
10:04 >> Myin [laughter] the guy Myin. >> But it's it's meant to be like a quick lunch. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like if that's why you should just do it at home cuz >> I think it was one of the first fast food chains in Japan. >> So good. >> Yeah. Like because >> what does that mean? >> Which samurai was that? >> I know Yoshi. >> Really? >> No. Yoshi. I know you. >> Stupid. >> What are you are you asking? >> Stupid. [laughter] >> His face. >> I know Yoshi. I know you. >> How come you're not laughing? That's your type of joke. >> I know. Like I thought you would like the punnies. Yo, Joe said it. He was mad. >> Yoshi, I know you. [laughter] >> That should be your favorite moment of the day. >> It was the delivery. >> Stupid. It wasn't confident. >> What What would you have preferred? >> I I I think the constipation of like I know Yoshi. Like it just didn't sell me with the flow is all. [laughter]
10:54 >> What about like instant foods? You know how like there's a lot of instant Asian foods that are like basically whitewashed Asian food? >> Oh, it's Yoshi's house. >> Like Trader Joe's. Trader M is kind of >> I love all of Trader Trader M. Ming stuff is pretty good, but some >> like what? >> The instant noodle was not good. >> The noodles are hard. The noodles are hard to cook in a bag. >> Korean instant noodles. >> There are a lot of instant I love instant noodles. I have all kinds. >> Gingerbang noodles. Gingerbang noodles.com. >> You could be Korean ones. >> Korean ones. The Thai ones. >> Which brand? Name them brands. >> All of them. I don't know. >> What do you mean? All >> you know them by picture. >> Neogi. That one. >> I literally just go to the aisle and I just pick one of like >> Shin is also Is that Japanese? I mean, is that Japanese or Korean? Yeah, that's Korean. >> See, the Shin Ramen is >> really good. >> It is almost near impossible to find a noodle that's air dried, never fried. You just can't find that anywhere. >> No. >> If you want something healthier, it's
11:45 obviously Kim Bang, dude. But if you want to be a bad boy, you go Nong Shim. >> You know how a cup of noodles or like what do you call it? >> Maru Chan. Maru Chan. >> Maru Chan. >> Oh, yeah. The actual cup of noodles. So they caught on to how Mexicans eat Cup of Noodles and they'll collab with tapato or they'll cuz you know like a lot of Mexicans like to put um flaming hot Cheetos and then they mix it. >> Dude, it's so fire right in there now already. >> They start doing it now. >> It's official. Yeah. Tapato flavored. Yeah. >> Instant ramen was never an Asian brand though, right? >> Maruchan. No, >> Maruchan is Japanese. >> Much Pop Ramen is. >> Yeah. I feel like they're the OG ones. >> Yeah, the OG one. Yeah, they're the OG ones. >> It's funny cuz like my my wife's family, they [laughter] they always call it Maruchan. And we grew up just calling Top Ramen, but >> Oh, so they call all instant noodles Maruchan.
12:35 >> Yeah. Any type of noodles is Maruchan. You want some Maruchan? And I'm like, "Yeah, which flavor." >> That's good branding. >> And they just have whatever they got. >> Even the Korean ones they call Maruchan, too. >> Just instant noodles. Any any form of like cup of noodles. >> If Maruchan is considered whitewashed Asian food, that I owe a lot to it, man. It got me through. >> No, I think that's I don't think it's whitewashed. >> Yeah, I don't I don't want to say it's whitewashed. I think that's essentials. >> Do you think more Do you think the main consumer of Maruchan is still Asian? >> No, it's everyone now. That is everyone. All the college students out there. >> Actual Asians eat like better noodles. >> Yeah. >> Oh, the foundation, you know, they're like the Mr. Wiggles. >> There might not be a better noodle than that though, huh? >> It depends. >> Migle Rang Migle Rang >> is fire, dude. >> Migle Rang. >> I like Mig. >> I think the answer is Krab Bay, guys. [laughter] But way to read the room, huh? Migor is ████ sick. Can we just cut out the last three minutes?
13:25 [laughter]
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